Don't Remember To Forget Me Chapter 25: Believe, a maximum ride fanfic

Me: Okay, I am terribly sorry about the wait. But, you wouldn't believe how horrible my life has been recently. And I'm going to save you the trouble of knowing, by keeping all the boring and miserable details to myself. But now I am back in front of my loving computer, this chapter completely ready. It will never live up to the expectations I have set up for it, but I hope it comes close.

Rebbie: OH boy, there she goes, complaining again.

Me: Oh shut up.

Max's POV

He had been watching. They had all been watching. From the moment the fight had started. Scratch that, since I had arrived to find Jesse nothing but a recently dead corpse. They just stood on the sidelines, watching. 'Let's let Max take care of this herself.' No help? Nothing? Not even removing Jesse's body from the dirty ground? Just gleeful faces at my wings? Pathetic! Weren't they supposed to protect me, like I protected them or something? It was quite clear I was not in the best state of mind, even I could tell that!

But nope, they just stood there, trying to conceal their happiness with grief. I'm not an idiot. I know lies when I see them. I knew little Angel over there could practically taste the pain of the memories that were leaking into my mind. It hurt. I have no metaphor or fancy shmancy words for how much it hurt. But it hurt even more to watch them pay more attention to me than to the dead body of the person I considered my best friend who was lying next to them.

Yes, I was in pain, yes I knew I had wings growing from my back, yes there were bruises and cuts lining my body, yes I had memories flooding my mind as if someone had turned on all the faucets and walked away. But that was all irrelevant. I wanted them to care about Jesse. That was the only thing circling about on a life raft in the torment of floods in my mind. See? I still got some metaphors left.

They watched as I glared at them before dropping down next to Jesse's body. I heard Nudge gasp, as if she was seeing it for the first time. I honestly wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but really. How do you miss a dead person that's bleeding everywhere?

"Max…" Someone whispered. Perhaps it was supposed to be in comforting. Didn't they get this was all their fault?

No… a voice whispered at the back of my mind. It was one of the more painful memories, one of the ones I had been subconsciously trying to subdue. I tried to ignore it, tried to force myself to subdue it again. Someone called to me once more, but their voice was quieter, distant.

No. It whispered again, louder, and there were some fainter sounds in the background. I fought back the urge to cry out as my vision went black for a second, before everything came swimming blurrily back into view.

NO! And it felt as if my entire body had been thrown into a black void. Swirling colors flashed behind my eyes; blues, blacks, greens, browns, even some pinks and reds. There were hushed whisperings and the sound of wind rushing past my ears. I closed my eyes tightly as pain flooded through my body as the memory that my mind had been locking away suddenly broke free. I tried to reign it back in but it was like trying to contain a wild animal, or your hunger. Impossible. Once you let it go, or acknowledged it, it was free, wild, and rampant.

And suddenly, there was peace.

I carefully opened my eyes to find that I was sitting in a warm cave looking at a fire. I blinked a few times and tried to stand up, only to realize I wasn't actually there. I was watching this scene, but I wasn't there. I wasn't sitting at the fire, but looking down at it. Ha-ha, I felt like God. I wondered if that was what God felt like. He (or she, not discriminating or anything) probably got to move though. I was stuck in this one place, where I could conveniently see the entire cave, from entrance to the dark recesses.

After what seemed like forever, six bird-kids landed at the entrance of the cave. Rephrase. I landed at the cave, followed by Fang and the others. And I looked pissed. Jeez this was weird, watching myself. I wondered briefly if I would be able to stop, or if I would go through all my memories until I met up with the time I started watching all my memories. Then would it start all over again? Well that wasn't very brief.

The me below stomped over to the fire, sitting down rather close to it, warming her hands and glaring. Angel came and sat next to her and Iggy walked over, guided by Gazzy, and began what I only imagined to be dinner. It looked to be a few cans of soup and some bags of something or other. Is that really what they... I … used to eat?

Nudge gave a concerned look over at Fang who stood by the edge of the cave, looking even darker and more intimidating than usual. His arms were crossed as he leant against the cave wall and glared out at the world, scowling.

It was almost the exact same face I wore below, only mine was clearly more furious. Angel had her hand on my arm, making soothing noises as if she were calming down a baby. Iggy and Gazzy were staying far from the me in the cave and Nudge was purposely staying quiet. The only noise were the soothing noises coming from Angel and the crackling of the fire.

I know how to read myself. Duh. I could tell that the attempts on Angel's part were not working. She was thinking about something, and the thoughts were simmering in her head. If anything, she was getting angrier. Not to mention the cold front being put off by Fang. Whatever it was, if one of us apologized now, I could tell it was going to save a whole mess of trouble. But of course that would never happen. And from the looks of it, I was the one expecting an apology. (I'm going to refer to the Max in the cave in third person, instead of continuously saying the me below etc. So she or her is the max in the cave and I is the max watching.)

Suddenly she stood up, and Angel jumped back, reaching out but staying a few steps away. She knew not to mess with the me below.

"So that's it huh? You're just going to stand their brooding all night?" She said forcefully, and the hard glare that turned and met her eyes was a match for her own. He said nothing. Neither did anyone else in the cave.

"What, you can't even muster up a yes or no, a shake of the head? Are you dumb AND mute?"

Something flashed behind Fang's eyes, something akin to rage. He stepped away from the cave wall and took a few steps towards the me below, easily six inches taller. However, she, of course, glared right up at him.

"Not everybody is as opinionated as you are." He growled lowly.

"At least I share my opinions where they MATTER!" She snarled. Nudge had directed Iggy, Gazzy, and Angel into a part of the cave further back, quietly. Any noise could send either of the two arguing further over the edge than they already were.

"Running into a building that has less than two minutes until explosion time is not called having opinions that matter." He cried exasperatedly.

"Then what do you call it, oh genius-one?" She muttered sarcastically. Fang through his hands in the air as if he couldn't believe she was asking that. Well, yeah it was kind of a stupid question.

"It's called stupidity!"He yelled at her. I was slightly taken a back. Fang hardly ever raised his voice.

"Well I'm sorry it was stupid of me to try and save those experiment children!"

"They couldn't be saved, Max!"

"Everyone can be saved!" The me on the ground screamed in frustration.

"You can't save everyone!" Fang insisted angrily. I could see where he was coming from, but I was also rooting on the me in the memory.

"Well I can try, god-dammit!"

"You couldn't save Ari!"

It was silent. The girl on the ground's face was stony hard, looking as if she had just been told her cat died, brought back to life, and then hit by a mad truck. Nudge and Angel had tears in their eyes, and I think maybe they were remembering something that had to do with the name Ari. Iggy and Gazzy looked downright shocked. Fang's face was a mixture of 'oh crap' and 'I can't believe I just said that'.

"Max, I didn't mean it like that-"

"Yes. Yes you did." Her voice was as hard as her expression. Fang sighed in irritation.

"Maybe I did. Face it Max, there are going to be people you just can't save, and there's going to be nothing you can do about it."

"Like Ari. That's what you're trying to say right? That even though I have a voice in my head that's telling me to save the world, even though I've gone through hell to get, and keep, these damn wings on my back, even though I've haven't had a stable thing in my life including you, even though I can fly at supersonic speeds and beat the hell out of mutant freaks who come to kill me, and even though I've protected the ones I love from things most humans don't even know exist, that I can't change anything? That I can't save people? That I can't turn my curse into a blessing? Is that what you're telling me? I'm stuck being this mutant freak that fears for her life and only protects those who are near to her? I can't protect that cute girl getting bullied, or that nice old lady about to get hit by a car? I can't save that kitten in a tree, or the dog that's abandoned in backyard? Is that what you're trying to say? I've been given my abilities and my life to show that I was born to do something and that something was make a difference. And you're telling me I can't?"

Her voice was menacingly low, as she narrowed her eyes.

"Are you saying that one day, your expiration dates are going to come and I'm not going to save you? Because I can't? Because it happened to Ari and I couldn't save him? That I'm just going to still and watch you guys die because I can't save everybody, because I couldn't save Ari? And when you ask me why, I'll say 'Because Fang told me I couldn't.'"

Fang just stared at the me on the ground, helpless. She had taken his words and twisted them so violently that even I was starting to hate him. It was pretty good. She should, well I, should be a public debater person.

"Everyone dies, Max."

The me in the cave lowered her gaze, her shoulders shaking. It had gone so suddenly from one extreme to the other, that I was concerned for my own mental health. Was I laughing or was the me crying…?

She was crying. She had gone from pissed off raging teenage mutant to depressed and crying mutant.

"You aren't going to die. None of you. And I don't care what you think, I can save you!" she screamed, tears in her eyes.

Fang was a little surprised, as were the others, though they remained where they were. Fang, however, moved in to try in comfort her, and she struck out. I slapped him. I actually slapped him. I was torn between yelling at myself, or laughing at the irony at it all. I hated all those prissy girls who thought slapping people solved things, and yet I had slapped someone. Way to go, irony.

Fang stared at her. I could feel, even though I was watching this from above, I could still feel the stunned stares boring holes in the back of her head. Angel was concentrating, trying hard to bury into the me below's mind but it wasn't working. Nudge was staring, mouth wide open. Gazzy looked terrified and his eyes were huge, as if he couldn't believe that had actually happened. Iggy was straining to hear, but there was a little 'o' on his lips, as if he had guessed what went down.

The me below continued to cry quietly and Fang stared, unsure what to do now that he knew if he got close he'd be hit.

Finally she looked up, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I could have saved those children, but you stopped me. If it had been Angel or Nudge or any of the Flock you would have risked your life alongside mine." It was a sharp accusation, but true nonetheless. We all knew it too.

"Max..." he warned, not liking where this was going.

"What is it? Just because I'm the oldest I get reprimanded for risking my life? Nobody here to take over every now and then? I want to find a place to settle down too, ya know! But there are more important matters! Wouldn't it be considered selfish of us not to use our abilities to save people? Wasn't that what I was doing? Is it just because you guys can't live without me, or because I'm the one in charge and you guys don't know how to lead on your own? I'm sick of this crap! Why don't you take over for once?"

"Nobody asked you to be in charge Max." Fang said quietly, hoping but knowing it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"But you all expect it of me." she whispered.

"Maybe you're just cut out to be a mother, raising and defending her Flock." He said soothingly.

"But I'm not cut out to live a life of luxury, huh? My own Flock can't even give me a break. You're supposed to be my best friend, but when I go to do the things I want to do for once, it's suddenly not okay! It's always what you guys want to do; it's always for the best of the Flock. Never something that interests me, and I'm the leader!" She screamed.

I could see the anger building in Fang again. I wasn't sure quite why he was getting angry though. It seemed to me that the me in the cave had a fair point.

"And you consider running into a building that's about to explode okay leadership qualities? Do you want to teach Angel that it's okay to kill herself in an attempt for the better good? How about leaving Iggy and Gazzy with the guilt of knowing it would have been their bomb that killed you? Nudge wouldn't have anyone to help her talk about girl stuff! Angel is too young for a lot of it, and us guys are certainly not going to understand! And what about me, Max? What about me? How would I feel, suddenly getting put in the leader's role? Suddenly having all your duties thrust upon me, because you up and decided to have yourself killed 'for the better good'? You can't save everyone, and I know you try! You're Maximum freakin Ride! If anything, you try too much! Yeah, we're sorry that you don't always get to do what you want, but you chose to continue being the leader when the role presented itself, and now you have to live with the consequences! If you don't like it, then quit!"

Everyone and that goes for all the bugs, bacteria, whatever happened to be alive, I include it when I say everyone stared at him. That was by far the most that had ever come out the boy's mouth, angry or happy, on a good or bad day. And it most certainly was the most ever said in front of such a large audience at such a loud volume with such emotion. The boy practically had a sign hanging over his head reading 'Gone Insane, be back in five'.

"Quit, huh? That's really how you feel?" Tears started to well up in her eyes again, but she blinked them back. Fang said nothing just continued to glower at her. From my view above, I could see the doubt and confusion rolling about in his eyes. Of course he didn't feel that way, but he was angry. Or at least, that's how it appeared.

But I still felt the stab of pain shoot through my heart, and even though I wasn't actually there, I could feel my fingers clenching, feel my eyes tearing up. It was if I was standing down there instead of her, glaring at the cave floor, willing myself not to cry. It was me down there shaking with fear, with anger, with hurt. He was my best friend, wasn't he supposed comfort me and reassure me that he would always be by my side and that I could do anything, even if we both knew it wasn't true?

After a prolonged silence, she turned. She walked to the edge of the cave. She stood with her back to the cave and the people in it for the longest time. After what was only a few moments, she turned her head to look at them, a resigned look upon her face.

"So if I were to jump out of this cave, and never unfurl my wings or have anyone catch me, because that's what I wanted, are you saying you would deny me my request?" She asked softly.

"Of course we would. We wouldn't let you die." Fang replied, calming his temper, but only just.

"Even though I wanted to quit?"

"Quitting and dying because you're mad at me are two different things! You can't just give up every time something doesn't go your way."

"You guys do!" She cried, and another sharp stab of pain went through my chest. They did, I realized. Things didn't go their way, and they would just sit and say screw it. It took her, well my, long speeches and motivation to get them going.

"But-" She cut him with a glare.

"But I'm the leader right? So what, first you tell me I can quit, now I can't? What is it? And since when do you decide?"

"Think about the Flock!" He yelled at her. She felt tears threaten her eyes again, and I felt the same, and I was unsure of why they were there.

"I want to think about me for once! Me, me, me! I want to do what I want to do, without asking permission!" She screamed. Fang clenched his fists and glared at her.

"Well you can't! Face it! The Flock is more important than you and your problems!" he yelled in frustration. A nearly inaudible gasp was heard from the members of the Flock that we, meaning the three of us, or two of us seeing us it was me and Fang, and me, had forgotten about.

She stood staring at him, before screaming "Fine! If that's how it is, then I'll leave! You won't ever have to deal with me again!"

I watched as the me in the cave turned and jumped from the cave, her wings never unfurling. Suddenly, she was soaring up, and shooting away, nothing but a slowly disappearing dot in the distance. And Fang did nothing but stand there, glaring, before turning away to brood off in the dark corners of the cave.

Pain shot through my head as I felt myself being sucked into the void again. Colors were once again swirling behind my eyes, these ones browns and reds, with dark blues and other colors in shadows. I tried to make out the dim outlines of people but I couldn't. I heard faint voice calling my name, over and over and over. It was like a broken record, all I heard was my name.

I brought my hands to my head as I regained feeling and sat up, realizing I had collapsed, lying beside Jesse. It must've only been a few minutes because the moon was still where it had been in the sky, and Jesse's wound was still bleeding lightly.

I stood up, shaking with both anger and exhaustion. Watching a memory takes a lot out of you. I felt a hand place itself on my shoulder, as if steadying me. I stiffened and immediately recognized it.

I spun on my heel and turned to face him.

"You." I whispered darkly.

Fang took a few steps back, and I eyed his side where his shot wound was. Funny, such a short time ago and here he is up and walking about. Almost as if he's forgotten. Been a lot of that going around… I took the few steps that he had separated between us, so that I was almost nose to nose with him, minus the fact he was taller than me.

I grabbed the front of Fang's shirt pulling him down towards me harshly.

"This is all your fault." I growled. I shoved him away from me with as much force as I could muster and he stumbled back a few steps. You know that term seeing red? It means literally. The corners of my eyes were tinted with red.

It was his fault I left that damn place, his fault I had gotten my memories erased, his fault I had met Jesse, his fault I had come across Emmy. It was his fault I was here, my new life, my better life, ruined. His fault Emmy, my daughter, was gone. It was his fault Jesse was dead. And it was his fault I had just remembered what I had chosen to forget in the first place! I wanted to kill him! He was going to feel the pain I felt! All that I gotten rid off, all that I had put in its place, everything was shattering! I needed to vent, I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to do something!

I closed the distance between us again and pulled my fist back and brought it forward, slamming into his jaw. There was a sickening crack and his head jolted to the side, but he did nothing to stop me. He turned his head back around and met my eyes but I was too angry to read whatever emotion was there. I probably wouldn't have read the emotion there, even if it wasn't anger I felt. I brought my other fist around, landing a solid punch in the center of his chest. He didn't make a sound.

Nobody intervened, knowing this was something we had to work out. They knew I wouldn't kill him. Hopefully.

I kept throwing punches, hit after hit; punch after punch, all hitting in directly the same spot, the center of his chest. And every time, not a noise was heard. Every time, he did nothing to stop me, nothing to slow me down, nothing to defend himself. He just let me take out my anger on him, as if he were some punching bag.

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" I yelled with each punch. And with each punch it became louder, more of a scream. "I HATE YOU!"

I didn't even realize I had begun to cry, until my vision became so blurred I had to shake my head in one jerky movement to get the tears to fall out of my eyes faster. Slowly, my punches became weaker, light hits to taps, until the sides of my fists were resting gently on his chest. My head joined them, and I unclenched my fists, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, crying uncontrollably. And he just stood there, letting me cry, not saying a word.

I don't know how long we stood like that, me sobbing pitifully into his shirt, with him just standing there, staring somewhere beyond my head. Finally, finally his arms came up around my body, stroking my tangled hair, his cheek resting on mine. I could feel the bruised bump on his jaw from where I hit him, and I felt regret.

"I can't apologize. I know it won't be the same. Believe, Skillet. That's all I have to offer." He whispered. It was my turn to say nothing as I just stayed there with his arms around me, letting the last of my tears fall.

I left the note sitting on his window sill, stuck with tape so I knew he got it. I know it was crappy of me, but my wings were back and this was how it had to be. We'd meet again someday, I just knew it.

After assuring that note was secure, I flew a little farther away from the building, watching it for a few moments, reluctant. Sighing, I turned in the air and sped off, not quite hitting maximum speed. I had one thing on my mind and one thing only. Rescue Emmy.

I put my headphones in my ears and turned on my iPod, the familiar square brining me some comfort. I hit play and listened as the song started, the song I had played on repeat for most of the afternoon after burying Jesse, when I needed some time alone.

I'm still trying to figure out
How to tell you I was wrong
I can't fill the emptiness
Inside since you been gone
So is it you or is it me
I know I said things that I didn't mean
But you should've known me by now
You should've known me

If you believed, when I said
I'd be better off without you
Then you never really knew me at all
If you believed, when I said
That I wouldn't be thinking about you
You thought you knew the truth but you're wrong
Cuz you're all that I need
Just tell me that you still believe

I can't undo the things
That led us to this place
But I know there's something more
To us than our mistakes
So is it you, or is it me
I know I'm so blind when we don't agree
But you should've known me by now
You should've known me

Is it you, or is it me
I know I said things that I didn't mean
You should've known me by now
You should've known me

Cuz you're all that I want
Don't you even know me at all
Cuz you're all that I need
Just tell me that you still believe

Smiling sadly to myself, I hit turbo and jetted off to rescue my daughter, knowing the sun wouldn't be rising for another two hours, giving me a good head start.

Fang's POV

I woke up knowing something wasn't right. I looked over to my window and saw something flapping gently in the breeze. A pit weighing in my stomach, I climbed out of bed and walked over to my window, shoving it open. There, sitting on my window sill, was a note addressed to me.

Dear Fang,

I believe.

-Max

I wanted to smile. Right, me smiling? But I knew what this letter meant. I knew that she had done it with at least a two hour head start. That's how Max worked, and we had our old Max back now. She was well off on her way to rescuing Emmy. There was no way we could catch up, and she didn't need help, not an angry Max set on getting her daughter back. But she wouldn't come straight here first afterwards. How long would she take, was the question.

She couldn't keep me from her though. Not forever. She had to come back eventually. I knew that. I knew that, from chasing her all these years. She will always come around, because she knows I'm always waiting. Kind of pathetic, really. But it's the truth.

I fell back onto my bed, letting a light grin grace my face. She was quite a mystery, she was. Always up to something, always working independently. You could never expect anything she does. I love it. And yet, once again, she's gone. And I'm left in the dust, waiting for her inevitable return. I'm used to it. She'll return. For me, for the Flock, for Emmy. She believes.

Now to break it to everybody else.

Me: Alas, my dear story is coming to a close! I hope that memory served its purpose. It was all jumbled but it was kinda supposed to be like that. You know the fight where you just sort of let everything out. Anyways, there's only the epilogue left! OMG I'm so sad! I can't believe I'm finishing this story! Thank you so much to every one! Oh look at me, giving thank you's and I haven't even finished the story yet.

Rebbie: Jeez. Well, I must admit, this is a sad thing. Ending a story… Well now we have time for the life she's neglecting.

Me: OH ho! And that's where you're wrong! I have two other stories to work on for fanfiction, and at least four novel ideas I've been toying with, one of which is already seven chapters in the making!

Rebbie: Of course it is…

Me: Oh gosh, this is just so touching… reviews would absolutely be wonderful!