Chapter Twenty Five: Anything But Ordinary.

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Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

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The next few weeks flew past. We girls ignored Potter and his little 'fan-club', and the boys minus Potter were civil to us. Ever since the Quidditch fiasco, I had felt so empty inside, like someone had taken everything out of me. I have no idea what made me go out onto the pitch. Maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me something. Maybe the urge to see Potter one last time had become unbearable. Or maybe it just happened. You know, like in films? Where the two star-crossed lovers meet in a secluded place, have it out, and then kiss passionately. But nothing happens like films in real life. In real life, you are shot down by the male and you feel as if someone had ripped your heart out and left you there to bleed. All I could see when I closed my eyes was an image of Potter's angry chocolate brown eyes, hissing and spitting in anger.

I usually woke up drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. Then I sit for while, on top of my coverlet and play with Jinx whilst my mind wandered and I pondered on where I went wrong. Then Jinx usually brought me back to earth by shredding my hand with his little, really sharp, teeth. My stomach flopped and turned inside out whenever I saw Potter, or thought I saw him. If I even caught sight of messy black hair, I was on the brink of fainting. Glasses were a big problem, as most of Hogwarts students wore little round glasses and at a glance, they all look like Potter's.

I had embarrassed myself more than once by running over to a Potter look-a-like, then shrinking back at the last minute as I realise it isn't him.

I'm not a noble character, but I know when I'm beaten.

I often lay on my bed, dry-eyed, like a wounded animal, overcome by incredulous grief and horror. The idea of Potter and another girl rose black and churning.

As Winter transformed to Spring, God seemed determined to ram my loss home to me. He was definitely succeeding. Everywhere, pretty girls waltzed past in new dresses, guys turned and whistled at them, lovers stood entwined under the boughs of beautiful, blossoming trees.

It took all my efforts to drag myself out of bed in the morning. It usually took all Cassie's and Belle's too. I had lost a lot of weight. My face had lost the healthy glow and had become pinched and pale. I looked like an auburn-haired Petunia. My hair had also suffered, losing the glossy look and was dull and boring. My eyes, however, were still the windows into my soul. A long time ago, they reflected happiness and love, but now they showed my inner turmoil and sadness.

One thing that pushed me over the edge was Potter and his new girl every week. Almost every time I saw him, he had a different blonde on his arm. He never associated with redheads or brunettes or dark-haired girls. Always blondes.

Soon, my sadness turned to dislike. My dislike soon turned to hate.

"I hate James Potter." I whispered one May evening. Cassie and Bella looked up sharply.

"Come again." Cass asked quietly.

"I hate James Potter." I said alittle louder.

It soon became a shout. "I HATE JAMES POTTER!"

Bella's face split into a wide grin and Cassie's eyes sparkled with tears.

"Does this mean you'll give up weeping and moping and start eating again?" Belle asked, in a soft voice, holding her breath.

"Yes. I'm sorry you guys. And I will start this change by washing my hair, painting my nails and cleansing my face." I nodded my head to emphasize my point.

With that, I bounced out to the shower and stayed in there for a full ten minutes. The water washed away my cares, my worries and the grime my body had harboured for at least two months.

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Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

~~**~~

My schoolwork improved rapidly, as did my mental health. Potter was not the be all and end all. I began to forget, slowly but surely.

I bounced down into the common room on one Friday evening in May, feeling very pleased with myself. I had earned a total of thirty points for Gryffindor and had finished all my homework.

I bounded over to Cassie and Bella, who were both completing Divination homework.

"Hey you two!" I grinned, my eyes sparkling madly.

Sirius looked up from his Arithmancy homework and his handsome face split into a wide smile. "Lilyflower!"

I smiled back. He bounced over and gave me a bear-hug.

"I was missed then?!" I grinned.

"The light in my world went out." He replied in a mock-serious tone.

"Really? Where did Bella go?" Cass nodded her head in Belle's direction.

Sirius took the hint. He picked her up and whirled her around.

"SIRIUS BLACK, PUT ME DOWN!" She yelped.

"Not until you kiss me." His devilish grin slipped alittle as she kissed the tip of his nose. "I meant on the lips."

She rolled her eyes and swept her lips over his.

He pouted slightly, but let her go.

"You know, these last weeks have been anything but ordinary, but I'm glad you all stuck by me." I smiled at my friends.

They smiled back.

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What do you think?

I didn't name the chapter after the last word!

I might do the next chapter in James' POV, but I don't know.

Should I?

Vote now!

(And Review please!)

Lol

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