Chapter Twenty-Five

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Elsa woke up with the tolling of the bells. Judging by the colour of the sky, it couldn't be very late. She stayed in bed as long as she could, not so much out of laziness as of cowardice. Jørgen was leaving that day, and the last thing she wanted was to look him in the eye after their ordeal.

Eventually, she forced herself to get up. Seeing him off and saying goodbye was the least she could do. And they'd meet again soon, anyway. She just had to deal with this day.

She went to Jørgen's room and knocked, but no answer came. She knocked again, to no avail. The hall was surprisingly quiet. Elsa stopped the first servants she saw.

"Has the King come downstairs yet?"

The servants exchanged looks.

"Ma'am… The King left three hours ago. He left with the first ship this morning."

So he was gone, then. He was the one who hadn't wanted to see her. Elsa would have asked if he'd left a letter, any kind of message for her, but what was the point? If he'd wanted to tell her something, he would have told her directly. But he didn't want to talk to her, and she didn't want to further humiliate herself in front of the servants. Instead Elsa kept her composure and asked the question that terrified her most.

"Where is my son?"

"With the princess, ma'am."

Elsa waited until the servants were gone to breathe out in relief; she had feared for a moment that Jørgen would take the baby regardless of his promise. But Mattheo was with Anna, for Jørgen was a man of honour.

She went to Anna's room; surely her sister would be glad to know her greatest enemy was gone. This time, when Elsa knocked there was an answer.

"Come in, Els," came Anna's lively voice.

Before opening the door, Elsa wiped the tears from her face.

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Around noon Elsa had a visitor. After the tiredness of everything going on with her ex-husband and her sister, Kristoff's presence was a breath of fresh air. They went to the garden, away from unwelcome ears.

"Heard the news," said Kristoff. "You're officially back in the market."

Elsa made a face. "You could say that."

"It hurts you, doesn't it? All that happened between him and you?"

"It's not what happened that hurts me. It's what could have happened. The possibilities… If only I had loved him like he wanted me to, like he loves me, everything would have been different. He'd often tell me about the life he'd imagined for us. Beautiful babies, two thrones allied, two countries prosperous and strong under our family. It kills me that I couldn't give him that life. I hurt him too much. May the gods send him the Queen he deserves."

"I'm sorry," said Kristoff. "I talked you into marrying him."

"You don't need to apologize. You only wanted the best for us."

"I thought it would help," Kristoff sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "To be honest, I was hoping you would actually develop feelings for this guy, something strong enough that you would give Anna back to me. Look how it all backfired for everyone."

Elsa shook her head slowly.

"Anna cannot be given or taken. The gods know the strength of a thousand storms lies in her. And they know she can do as she pleases with me, she owns me, for heaven's sake."

"You love each other. You truly love each other."

"And that's our curse," Elsa replied. But then her voice warmed, and she added, "I really do love her so very much…"

Kristoff rolled his eyes.

"So what now?"

"I don't know. I have a lot of promises to keep. Promises I made to Anna, to him, to everyone."

"And what promise did you make to yourself?"

"That I'd keep everyone else's."

"And what did you promise to everyone else?"

Elsa told Kristoff about all the arrangements she'd made, and how she'd agreed to take her son to Jørgen and spend two weeks in his kingdom every few months.

"You do realize that's one hell of a trap, don't you?" Kristoff was finally serious.

"Look, he's mad at me and of course he'll react to that. I'd be mad at anyone who did to me what I did to him. I expected some harsh conditions and I should be grateful he's letting me have the child at all. But in the end… ah, in the end he loves me. He wouldn't hurt me."

Kristoff shook his head. "He's obsessed with you."

"How can you know?"

"I'm a man. I know how he thinks."

Elsa laughed. "You know his mind only because you're a man? That's nonsense! It's like saying I know what's in Anna's head because she too is a woman."

"That's different. Only Anna knows what's in Anna's head. But your guy is easy to read, and he can't be up to anything good, not if he insists so much on having you under his control. What are you going to do if he tries to blackmail you or coax you into something you don't want to do?"

"He won't. He's a gentleman."

Kristoff scoffed. "We'll see who he is once you're in his territory. Surely you're aware that in his kingdom your divorce isn't recognized, much less your relationship with Anna. The moment you disembark in that place you'll be his property. He can choose not to let you come back."

"Let him try," replied Elsa.

Kristoff groaned. "Can't one talk to you without you eventually bringing up some kind of murder? Gods, you're impossible."

Elsa laughed again and Kristoff joined her. Elsa was every bit a five-year-old as her sister. A five-year-old murderess, Kristoff thought. He changed the topic.

"Hey, Anna told me you gave her permission to have a kid. Thanks. It means the whole world to her."

"I know. I want her to be happy. Just please be gentle with her."

"Elsa, come on."

"I know, I know. But I had to say it."

"I'm a bit nervous," he confessed. "About her. About… being with her."

Elsa couldn't help a teasing smile. "Haven't you done it before?"

"I have, actually. Just, y'know, not with her. I want to please her, and I keep thinking that I'll disappoint her."

Elsa smiled, this time more gently. "Don't worry about that. She's very… vocal, about what she wants. Kristoff, I trust you. If there's anyone right for this, it's you. Just please let me be the godmother."

Kristoff noticed the change in Elsa's voice.

"Elsa, are you sure about this whole thing?"

There was a brief pause, and then Elsa nodded. "I cannot deny her something that would make her so happy, and that I did myself. Whatever pleases her pleases me."

"She was furious about you and Jørgen. Even about the baby. She adores your boy, but still."

"Don't think I don't know that. I've hurt her horribly. Let's get this done and over with, ok? Let's give her what she wants and then be total children about it and never deal with any of the mess we're creating."

"Even when it all comes back and backfires horribly?" asked Kristoff, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. Even then."

But there was still a look of anxiety and hurt in Elsa's eyes. It reminded Kristoff of how Anna looked when something was hurting her. It was unbearable, and Kristoff immediately sought a way to comfort her.

"Don't be sad. Anna loves you, and that's all that matters."

Kristoff put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently. Almost immediately he realized his protocol gaffe and backed away in horror.

"Gods, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, well, I-I didn't want to-"

But Elsa only giggled and moved closer to him.

"That's okay. You've seen so much of me that I have to trust you. Ah, we'll love her together, Kristoff, and we'll make her really happy. I promise."

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A couple of days later, Elsa sent an invitation to Anna. She could have asked her to dinner in person, but the ritual of sending a squire and the feeling of the creamy paper with her polished calligraphy somehow made it all more real.

At exactly eight o'clock, Anna arrived to her room.

"Welcome." Elsa beamed, trying to hide her nervousness.

"May I ask what the occasion is?"

"Not yet. Just sit down and let me do the rest."

Elsa poured wine for both. While they ate she tried to keep the conversation casual.

"So, did you take your papers to the school?"

"Yes," said Anna, enthusiastic. "I start next term. They offered to send tutors, but I told them I wanted as much in-classroom experience as possible and I convinced. It's going to be weird, with all our protocol and the fact that there are only three girls in the class and twenty-seven boys."

Elsa took Anna's hand. "Please, take care. If there's anything you need let me know immediately."

"Don't worry, Els. I have a good feeling about this. It's going to be great."

The dinner continued while Elsa waited for the perfect moment. After dessert, she handed Anna a rolled parchment.

"Here, read this."

"What is it?"

"Read it."

Anna opened the document and began to scan it. Then she stopped, went back to the beginning, and read again, this time word by word.

"Elsa, are you sure?" She held the parchment as if her life depended on it.

"Of course. This document officially releases you from any legal attachment to me. You can now go wherever you want, do whatever you want, study, travel, anything, without needing my authorization. You already had full rights over property and your own money, so that won't be an issue. You'll have to take care of your own needs from now on, at least officially, things like signatures and contracts, but all in all I think it's good. I'm not your guardian anymore, Anna. You're free."

Anna stared at her sister for a moment. Then, she threw her arms around Elsa's neck.

"Thank you. I know it was hard for you to write this."

"All I've ever wanted is to make sure you're safe and protected. But maybe this is the best way to do it."

"It is. Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Consider this my wedding gift to you."

That made Anna freeze in Elsa's arms.

"Excuse me?

"The court cleared us today," Elsa said in a purr, nuzzling her face against Anna's hair and neck. "Took a little bit of convincing, but they've cleared us."

"What does that mean?"

"You're the lawyer. You tell me."

"Well, um, with a full clearance two people are allowed to marry regardless of previous ties and connections between each other and…" Anna paused for a moment. "You mean they've let us…?"

Elsa beamed and nodded. "Like I said, it took some convincing, but they finally allowed the clearance to cover first-degree family ties."

Anna stared at Elsa, trying to believe it, a shy smile peeking through her lips with disbelief.

"We- we can, can we…?"

But before Anna could say one more word, Elsa was down on one knee. From a pocket in her dress she pulled out a small box. She opened it. There was a ring with a single diamond.

"Anna, will you marry me?"

Anna sank to her knees. She hugged Elsa tight, tight, to never let her go.

"Yes, yes, oh yes."

"You'll be Queen, Anna, you'll be Queen and you will rule side by side with me, and no one will ever again stand between us and I promise I'll make up for every stupidity I've ever done and every time I've made you suffer and-"

"Shh, it's okay, all that is over now. I love you, we're together, and that's that. I love you, you hear me? I love you."

By the sound of her voice, Elsa could tell that Anna was crying. She stroked her hair and back and cooed softly.

Elsa kissed Anna's cheek. Anna looked at her, and put a rebel strand of silver hair behind her ear. They smiled at each other. Their foreheads were pressed together. And then their lips. Softly, carefully, like that first kiss all that time ago.

With the kisses came the caresses. And when Elsa, still careful and delicate, began to unlace Anna's corset, Anna smiled even wider and lay back on her elbows to allow Elsa to undress her.

The kisses gained warmth, and soon they were holding each other as if nothing else existed. Somehow, Elsa managed to lead Anna to the bed without stopping her kisses.

"I won't seal the walls," she announced as she reached under Anna's skirt.

"But they'll hear!"

"I don't care. I'm tired of hiding. This is who we are, and I don't want to think about anything or anyone else."

"But Elsa-"

Anna was interrupted with a kiss. For the rest of the night, all thoughts of unsealed walls were erased from her mind.

They woke up tangled in each other's arms, bathed in sunlight. They moved lazily, enjoying each other's presence and the exquisite feeling of not having to hide, not having to get out of the room before anyone spotted them together, not having to rush, or pretend, or be anything else than in love.

Their engagement was announced that morning, and it was like a huge weight had been lifted. Those who had been reluctant about them began to warm upon seeing them, or decided to look the other way and shut up for the wellbeing of the kingdom. As days went by Elsa began to gain confidence and showed herself with Anna in various degrees of affection.

One morning, almost two weeks later, they held hands on their way to get breakfast, something they often did anyway, but now loaded with a thousand different meanings. Their aunt was there already, and she gave them a look that was equally exasperated and loving.

But once they had finished breakfast the Queen delivered her news.

"I'm going home today."

The shock in Elsa's face was such that the Queen took her to the balcony of an adjoining room.

"Elsa, you knew I would have to go back to Corona soon."

"But why are you telling me today that you leave today?"

"Rapunzel wrote to me last week, asking me to come back. I hadn't told you because your life has been a mess, but I had to make arrangements as soon as possible."

"Please, don't leave us," Elsa begged with a desperate whisper.

"Dear, I must. My work here is done, anyway."

"Don't leave me."

"Oh, come on, love, you know you can handle it."

"I know that. We'll survive. It's just that…"

"What?"

Elsa struggled with each word.

"It's been so nice to have a mother!"

Elsa began to cry. The Queen took her in her arms and rocked her.

"Oh, sweetheart. Come here, come, come. Poor darling, everyone's been awful to you. But look at you now, all grown up and doing all sorts of new things. I'm so, so proud of you."

But Elsa couldn't stop crying; being comforted only made her feelings worse.

"You know I never had much of a mom," she said between sobs. "My mother loved me very much, but she feared me even more. For every kind word there were ten warnings. I didn't know how it felt like, to have someone genuinely care for me and protect me. It's so nice, and now I've gotten used to it, and I don't know if I can continue on my own."

"Of course you can," the Queen murmured. "You're a strong, brave young woman, and you'll never really be on your own. You have Anna, you have your baby, and I'll be there to mom you any time you need, okay?"

"Yes."

"Will you be a Queen now and worry about your duties instead of your sorrows?"

"Yes."

"Will you be the mother you always wanted to have?"

"Yes."

"Will you please stop crying already?"

"Yes," Elsa wiped her tears.

"There, much better. Don't worry, love, I'll come back for your wedding."

That finally made Elsa smile. "Thank you. I proposed to her and she said yes."

"I know that, everyone knows that. It's a very nice ring you gave her. You'll be very happy together. You're a perfect match, you know."

Elsa nodded. The Queen kissed her on both cheeks and hugged her again.

"Goodbye, child. Take care."

Elsa squeezed her aunt's hand. She heard her go back to the dining hall and waited until she was sure she was alone. She sank to her knees and began to cry again.