READ THIS NOTE BEFORE YOU GO ANY FURTHER:
This one-shot depicts a bit of Dragon Queen action (no sex, but definitely some making out), you've been warned.
It's been part of my head canon for this story since before I started writing it, that Regina and Mal had a bit of a moment when Regina was sad and needed comfort. I was asked by friends to write it out so here it is.
Keep in mind all you're about to read happened BEFORE Robin and Regina got together in this verse. There's a bit of OQ friendship at the start and at the end, but if Dragon Queen isn't your thing, you should skip this one (or skip the middle? Lol).
It's been a year.
A full year since she watched her husband's eyes close for the final time, and Regina is in shambles.
She's had better days than this. Days where Robin has her comfort foods at the ready and Roland gives her a smile that keeps her afloat, days where work is so busy she has no time to wallow.
But today, Ingrid has made the mistake of clearing her schedule, thinking she would need the day off to deal with Daniel's death all over again.
She'd appreciated it at first. Had taken a car to the cemetery and placed a bouquet of white roses at his grave. Had sat down on the soft grass and told him things. But that part of her day is over, and she's home now, alone in a giant house that no longer holds any of the joy it once did.
She misses talking to Daniel, misses the way he'd comfort her and reassure her when she wasn't even aware she needed it. Misses how he would joke with her and kiss her cheek when she rolled her eyes at his teasing, how the warmth of him would lull her to sleep on cold nights, how he'd wake her with freshly brewed coffee and a gentle caress down her arm. She even misses the bad days, the ones they'd suffered towards the end, when all she could do was make him comfortable and join him on his hospital bed, feel his fingers weakly massage her scalp to soothe her...
Mid-afternoon has her in yoga pants and one of the old T-shirts of his she didn't have the heart to give away. Her eyes are red from crying, her cheeks puffy and her makeup smeared all over her face, and then the doorbell rings.
She's dismissed her staff for the day, wanting to be alone for a while, so the task of opening the door and sending away whoever's behind it now falls to her. She should probably make herself presentable, should at the very least wipe off the smudged mascara and eyeliner, but her husband is dead, dammit, she couldn't care less about her looks right now.
She's pleasantly surprised to find Robin on the other side of the door, carrying a bouncy Roland against his hip. She laughs a little when he does that adorable, giggly baby scream when he sees her, extends his chubby arms for her to take him into hers.
"What are you guys doing here?" she asks with an upbeat tone, grinning a little at Roland as he giggles again and yells out "Gina!" like she's his favorite toy in the whole world.
"Thought you might like the company," Robin says sheepishly, and it's only then that she realizes he's holding a small brown paper bag in his hand.
"What's that?" she points to the bag, raising a curious eyebrow.
"Well, I, uh, we, we brought you cookies. It's silly, I know, but... always makes me feel better," he stammers, and Regina finds it, well, adorable, to be honest, tears building in her eyes as she props Roland more comfortably against her and steps aside to let Robin in.
"Not silly at all. I could use a cookie or ten," she tells him, and she means it, too. She's always had a sweet tooth, and Robin has brought her her ultimate comfort food. She'd be a fool to refuse.
There's a carton of milk in the fridge, and Regina retrieves it with her free hand while Roland is still happily perched on her hip. She pours one-handed, taking a sip from her glass and offering some to the rosy-cheeked toddler while Robin empties the bag on a small plate.
They eat in silence, interrupted only by Roland's babbling and his excited shouts over the bites of chocolate chip cookie they feed him. The treats really do help, make something inside her ease a little, and so she grabs another, and another, stuffs herself with the chocolaty goodness until she's downed most of her milk and only one whole cookie and Roland's half-chewed piece remain.
"Thanks for this," she says then, extending the arm not wrapped around Roland across the table, her hand grabbing Robin's and squeezing. "I really needed it."
"Happy to help," he returns with a smile. "I wasn't sure if... I just knew it wasn't going to be a good day for you, I didn't want you to be alone."
"I've had better days, yeah," she admits, "but this helped. So again, thank you."
He has yet to let go of her hand, so she squeezes again, a more final sort of gesture this time as she withdraws her fingers from his grasp, brings that hand back to her lap to settle on Roland's round tummy.
"Do you want to watch a movie, Roland?" she asks, and the baby perks up right away, claps his hands repeatedly as he shouts "Yay!" over and over again.
"Actually, we should really be going," Robin interrupts, and the boy immediately pouts. "We just came to deliver the cookies. I should get him back to Ashley so I can go back to the office."
"Everything okay?" she knows someone would've briefed her by now if anything had gone down, but she still worries, doesn't want to slack off on the job even if she does have today to herself.
"Everything's fine, just some routine stuff I'm a bit behind on," he assures her with a tender smile, and then he's heading to the sink, rinsing the cookie plate (despite her insistence that he really doesn't need to do that), and cleaning up the crumbs left by Roland on the table.
Overall, the visit doesn't last more than a half hour, but it leaves her feeling less desolate, with a smidgen of comfort easing into her otherwise dreadful day.
But just as she's heading up the stairs to her room, the doorbell rings again, and Regina lets out a frustrated huff as she turns around and heads back down to the foyer.
This time, it's not Robin who stands on her doorway, but Mal.
She's dressed casually, in fitted jeans and a thin black T-shirt, the V neck half covered by the brown leather of her jacket.
"Just wanted to stop by and make sure you weren't climbing up the walls, but it seems you already had your share of visitors for the day?" she asks in that bored, yet seductive tone of hers.
"Oh, Robin just stopped by to check on me," Regina explains. "We had milk and cookies," she adds as an afterthought.
Mal hums, blond curls shifting when she looks her up and down.
"What's that?" Regina asks then, noticing she, too, has a brown paper bag in her hand, a bigger one. Mal pulls out a bottle of tequila from its depths, offers it to her.
"Adult milk and cookies," she quips, and Regina gives a light chuckle, takes the bottle from her, and whispers a Thank you.
"No problem," Mal insists, then tells her she'll call in the morning, but Regina stops her before she leaves.
"Wait, no. Why don't you stay? Have a drink with me," she suggests, brandishing the bottle she's just given her. She usually prefers being alone when she's having bad days like this (in fact, Robin knows this, and she suspects it's the real reason he left so soon), but right now, right now she doesn't want to be alone. Right now, she wants a friend. She wants Mal.
Mal, who looks apprehensive for a moment, but then lets her lips pull up in a smile, an amused raise of her eyebrow adding a touch of sass to her murmured, "If you insist."
She loses the leather jacket by the door, hangs it in Regina's coat rack before they both move to the living room, Mal's smile tentative as she watches Regina pour the tequila shots.
"I'll go get the salt, I don't think I have limes though," she confesses, and Mal just laughs a bit.
"We don't need any of that, Regina, we're not college kids."
She grins at that, figures her friend is right, and she really just needs that drink, why bother with the accessories? It's not like she particularly enjoys the taste of them anyway.
The clink of their shot glasses is loud in the quiet emptiness of the mansion, and it only reminds Regina of how alone she is, how lacking in warmth and joy her home has become.
She downs the shot before Mal even tastes her own. It's good tequila, goes down smoothly despite the bitter aftertaste, and before she knows it Regina is pouring herself another, getting Mal to join in by handing her the bottle without a word.
Half a bottle later, they're both sprawled on the couch in the east living room, laughing at Regina's stories of Daniel, of the silly things he used to do, the jokes he used to tell, and suddenly she feels desolate, neglected, because it's not just that she misses him (she does, though, more than anything), but she also misses that bond, misses the pure intimacy she used to have with him. Misses having someone to come home to, someone to hold at night, someone to kiss...
"I haven't kissed anyone in a year," she tells Mal, whose answering giggle is tinged with something that feels like pity, her hand moving up to play with the ends of Regina's hair.
"That's a shame," she says, and the way she's looking at her makes Regina's breath catch. "I bet you're a good kisser."
Regina doesn't know what possesses her to do it. Maybe it's her loneliness, or the tequila, or both, but one second she's there, sitting on the couch while Mal's fingers twirl around her hair and the next, she's leaning in, inching closer and closer until their lips meet.
There's no hesitation, no awkward pause where they try to figure out what is happening, it's all just... frenzied.
Mal's tongue is in her mouth in seconds, and Regina moans at the taste of it, kisses her back hard, tangles a hand in soft blonde curls and pulls her closer. She uses the momentum to drag her atop her body, until Mal is straddling her, her hands on either side of Regina's head on the arm of the couch. This isn't what Regina had intended when she invited Mal in, but Mal's mouth is warm and wet and delicious, and so she indulges, enjoys tongue-filled kisses that stoke a fire Regina hasn't felt in a very, very long time.
"Mm," Mal moans into her mouth, amending her earlier statement to, "a very good kisser."
Regina giggles, then kisses her again, sucking at her lower lip and dragging her teeth over it gently. Mal whimpers, moves her hands over her arms, up from her elbows to her shoulders and then down over her chest, pausing at her breasts to grasp them both, one in each hand, and squeeze.
It feels amazing, and Regina can't believe she's doing this, can't believe she's here, letting Mal kiss her —Mmm— just like that and touch her —oh god— just like this. No one has done this to her since Daniel.
That thought gives her pause, has her lips slacking against Mal's, her breathing growing heavy as she pushes gently at the gentle curves that feel so, so good above her, stopping Mal's advances as she moves to sit them both up.
"You alright?" Mal asks, and Regina is still working on calming her breathing, shakes her head wordlessly in response.
Tears sting as they well up in her eyes, and one of them falls just as Mal moves closer.
"Oh, honey," she whispers, drawing Regina into her arms and pressing her head against her chest. She says nothing else, lets her cry out her sadness, her grief, her guilt at having just kissed someone that isn't her husband. On the very same couch where they would take naps together, no less.
"I'm sorry," she says against Mal's shirt, sniffling as she tries to regain her composure.
"It's okay to want comfort, Regina, I won't hold that against you," her friend tells her, running a hand over her hair. "I don't think Daniel would, either."
"I shouldn't have kissed you," is all she can say, and Mal pulls her away from her embrace, tilts her head up to meet her eyes, and leans in close, so close Regina can smell the remnants of tequila on her breath, can almost nip at her plump lower lip.
"Don't apologize for that. Whatever you need, I'm here."
The statement makes Regina smile, and Mal looks pleased at having eased her worries, lands a kiss on her forehead and brings her back down to cuddle against her.
"Besides... I quite enjoyed it," Mal says, and that has Regina looking up at her curiously.
"What?" Mal defends, "You couldn't tell?"
Regina smiles at her, shakes her head and draws closer, feeling slightly better about their whole exchange when she lifts her head enough to kiss her again. Mal opens her mouth willingly, and this time it's not the wild pace they had before, nor the desperate dance of tongues and sloppy lips. This time it's slow, measured, wonderful.
Mal's tongue slides ever so gently against hers, and Regina lets out a tiny little moan as she gives as good as she's getting, one hand ghosting up Mal's body, until it latches on to the back of her neck, keeping her there as she slants her head just slightly to the side to change the angle of the kiss.
It's sweet, warm, and so slow, a kiss meant to comfort, meant to give her the physical intimacy she's been missing, and nothing else.
It fizzles out as slowly as it began, their lips locked and busy tasting, exploring, until tongues stop savoring and teeth stop grazing, and all that's left is a series of sweet pecks. One and two and three, and just as Regina is going in for the fourth, Mal pulls back, hands on either side of her face, and looks into her eyes with a tender smile.
"I'd better go," she whispers, and Regina nods reluctantly.
It seems, however, that brain has not caught up with the motions of her body, because suddenly she's blurting out a quiet "Please don't," that has Mal sitting back down on the couch, breathing deeply as she waits for her to finish.
"I don't want to be alone tonight," Regina says weakly.
Mal sighs, one perfectly manicured hand rising to play with the ends of her hair again, tucking a lock of it behind her ear and lingering by her jaw, hooking a finger under her chin and moving Regina's head up so she can look at her.
"Are you sure?"
There are tears in her eyes, her red, puffy eyes. Her hair is a mess from being pressed up against the couch cushions, she's in an old, ratty T-shirt and pajama pants, and there is alcohol on her breath. She hasn't looked at herself in the mirror all day, but Regina knows, she just knows she looks pathetic.
And still, she doesn't feel that way until she sobs out a "Please," in answer to Mal's question.
They don't have sex. In fact, they don't even sleep in the master bedroom, move instead to one of the many guest rooms in the mansion, and Regina puts on some mindless reality show on TV to serve as background noise while Mal changes into borrowed pajamas and settles on the bed beside her.
Regina wastes no time, shifts towards her and wraps an arm over her stomach, snuggling as close as possible with her head resting on Mal's right breast. She sighs when Mal's hand starts to move up and down her back, trailing her nails along it in soothing little scratching motions that soothe her, lull her.
She's asleep just as she feels the touch of Mal's lips along her hairline, and when she wakes the next day her friend is gone. Regina would think the night before had been a strange dream, except there's a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin on the nightstand, a tiny note left under the bottle with Mal's loopy scrawl on it.
Up and at 'em, your majesty.
Regina smiles, takes her aspirin, and gets ready to face the day.
She can feel his eyes on them the entire time they're talking. Can feel the confused suspicions rolling off of him in waves, waves that hit her and make her blush as Mal squeezes her hand.
She's leaving Maine tonight, now that her case is solved, and Regina cannot stop touching her, cannot stop trying to feed her need for physical comfort while she still can.
They hadn't slept together or made out again after Regina's meltdown last week, but every time Mal has been by the office and they're alone, she's made it a point to just **touch her, show her the affection she's been desperate for, and Regina could not be more grateful.
But they are not alone now, Robin is watching them. Regina feels guilty, because he is her best friend (well, Roland is, but he's too young to understand these things), and she does not want to lie to him, does not want to mislead him or make him think she's purposefully left him out of the loop.
So when Mal's phone rings, and she walks just outside to the balcony to tend to her call, Regina beckons Robin closer.
"Sit, please," she says, gesturing to the chair across her desk.
"Is everything okay?" Robin asks, brow furrowed in worry.
"Everything's fine, I just thought... there's nothing going on," she clarifies right away, her hands wringing themselves together nervously over her desk as she looks at him.
"What are you talking about?" he asks, and bless him for trying to act coy, for trying to offer her an out and respect her privacy, but this isn't the time for that. She wants him to know.
"Last week, on Daniel's anniversary? Mal showed up at my house after you left. We had a few drinks..." she trails off at the amused raise of his eyebrow, and she breathes out a little laugh, admits, "Okay, a lot of drinks. Anyway, I felt sad and alone and Mal just..."
"You slept with her," he says, not a question, but a statement, one Regina is relieved to notice has no hint of judgment whatsoever, merely curiosity.
"No, I didn't. But... we kissed. A lot."
"Are you thinking of starting something with her?" he asks her then, and she detects a dejected look on his face just a split second before it disappears, that curious stare back in place.
"No. It wasn't like that, I just... I was vulnerable, and I missed Daniel, I missed being intimate with someone, you know? Mal, she... she offered me that, and I took it."
"So all the hugging and the touching...?"
"Is just Mal trying to keep me from having another breakdown," she says, trying to laugh it off, but Robin's hand grasps hers then, squeezes tight as he looks into her eyes.
"You know I'm here, too, right? If you need me?"
Her eyes widen a bit, and she sees the moment it dawns on him how the comment sounds.
"Not like that," he says with a nervous chuckle. "Just... in general. I give great hugs, too, you know?"
Regina smiles at that, tightens her grip on his hand for a few seconds before releasing it.
"I know," she tells him, "and having you and Roland that day really did help me feel better. It was just... drinking made me realize just how miserable I was, and when I kissed her it... it just felt good to disappear from the pain and the loneliness for a while, you know?"
"I understand," he says with a small smile. "But, why are you telling me this?"
"You're my friend."
"Regina, it's your life, I understand if there are things about it you don't want me to know."
"But I did want you to know. Robin, you mean so much to me, I don't want you to ever feel like I'm hiding things from you, and don't say that's not how you felt, I could see it written all over your face earlier."
He sighs then, defeated, shakes his head with a smile and then looks up at her from across the desk.
"I just wanted to know you were alright, and you are, so no harm done."
His hand flies to his earpiece then, holding it there as he listens.
"I've to go, they're waiting for me. But thank you," he tells her, "for trusting me. And I'm happy you found some comfort with her."
"You're not mad?" she asks curiously as he stands up to leave, and Robin's tone is gentle as he replies.
"Why would I be? If it helped you feel better in any way, I'm glad you did it."
Regina nods, exhales slowly, and feels a burden she hadn't even known she was carrying lift off of her.
"I still can't stand her, though," Robin adds just as he's walking out the door.
She giggles in her amusement, shakes her head in mock exasperation, and gets back to work.