I own the monster . . . Stephenie Meyer created the others.
Chapter 24
I drove like a maniac while the monster brandished its ax. My thoughts were awhirl with the potential disasters this situation offered. Why? Why had Bella gone with James? She knew I had suspicions about him. And she had promised me never to be alone with him. Even if his mother was there, an unlikely circumstance, she still went off unaccompanied with him in a car. And that thought gave me pause…
What if she wanted to be alone with him? It was a horrible idea, a terrifying concept, and I dismissed it immediately. But as I drove like a madman, it refused to completely dissipate. No, Bella would never do that to me. She loved me utterly. But then why would she put herself in this position? No, it was impossible. She had never indicated in any way that she was interested in James. But why did others think so, even if they were complete morons? No, I couldn't believe it. Yet, didn't my sisters think James was attractive? Perhaps I had missed something obvious to everyone else.
A new fear warred with my original misgivings. I had thought I was racing off to rescue Bella, or at least to give her an easy exit from what could be an uncomfortable situation. I now had to consider the possibility that my sudden appearance would be unwelcome to her, an embarrassment even. I felt a crushing sense of heartsickness at the merest possibility this could be true. The monster looked stricken.
No. Nononofuckingway! I would not accept it. I would not let fear ignite groundless insecurities in my brain. But as I turned onto Andersonville Road, I realized I could not do other than take that scenario into account, regardless of how unlikely it really was, and my original intention of immediately bursting through the door like an avenging archangel gave way to greater caution. Finally pulling up in front of James' secluded house, I paused for a moment, taking a deep but shaky breath in a vain attempt to calm myself. What would I find?
Feeling like a deviant, I slowly approached the picture window at the front of the house, the monster tiptoeing by my side. There were blinds hanging inside it, but they were slatted open enough so that I could peer inside, probably without being seen. I focused my eyes, and my heart stopped.
They were on the sofa, James lying on top of Bella. They appeared to be engaged in a heated make-out session. With James' face plastered against Bella's neck, I couldn't see her expression, and I consciously registered the very small favor of not having to see the passion that would animate her features. But that was the only redeeming sliver of relief as I watched my whole world crashing down. Seeing James' hand start to creep up the outside of Bella's thigh and approach the hem of her skirt, I had to support my weight against the window sill and lean forward, feeling sick to my core. I knew I would never recover from this. The monster slumped down in a heap, whimpering and clutching its useless ax.
Prompted by some sort of masochistic reflex, I raised my eyes to the window one last time before turning to leave. As I did so, the corner of my eye caught some defining movement. Bella's face turned in my direction, and instantly, everything changed.
Her features didn't reflect passion or anything resembling it. Her eyes were wide open in fear and anger, her lovely mouth twisted in disgust. It wasn't desire, but repulsion that was written all over her face. I then realized that Bella's visible hand wasn't clasping James' shoulder to hold him closer, but was placed there for leverage, undoubtedly trying to shove him away. The monster and I leapt into action.
Rushing to the front door of the house, intending to break it down if necessary, I thrust my shoulder against it at the same time as I gave the handle a turn. It was lucky, I suppose, that the door was unlocked, although not so fortunate for me as I stumbled into the room with all the aplomb of a drunken baboon. The monster fared no better, flying in the door after me and gracelessly tripping over the handle of its ax. Despite the less than stealthy entry, however, neither James nor Bella apparently heard me over the noise of her protestations. I was already enraged, of course, but her fearful and angry exclamations made me go berserk.
"James, no! I said NO!" she kept repeating. "Stop it! Get off of me, you pig!" Apparently she must have managed to hurt him as well, since I heard him grunt, with what I certainly hoped was pain.
I rushed over to the sofa, Bella's eyes widening first in shock and then closing in relief when she saw me. Without warning, I grabbed the back of the collar of James' shirt and yanked him up and off of her body, pushing him in the opposite direction. Luckily, he caught his balance on the only chair in the sparsely furnished room and turned around to face me, outraged shock contorting his features. I considered his landing fortunate, anyway, since I wanted him standing on his feet for what was coming.
"What the fuck?" he stammered.
"You son of a bitch," I cursed threateningly. "You've been planning this all along, you bastard." I couldn't hold back any longer, striding across the room in three steps and punching him in the face. My brain vaguely registered the pain in my hand, as well as a gasp from Bella, but neither could deter me. The momentum from my punch made James fall back forcefully into the chair again, another advantage for me. This way I wouldn't have to pick him up off the floor to hit him again, which I very much intended to do.
James was holding the side of his face and already looked beaten, but I was just getting started. The lesson hadn't nearly been taught yet. I picked him up by his shirt collar again, surprised at how easy it was to lift him. I lectured him some more as my arm cocked back for another go.
"What kind of sick fuck are you?" I slammed my fist into his face again. It hurt so good, and I watched with satisfaction as he flopped back into the chair. "Stand up, James. I'm not done with you," I insisted. His eyes went to the side, looking for an avenue of escape, evidently. When he didn't move, I pulled him back up again by his shirt collar, now beginning to rip at the seams. The monster, having somewhere along the way painted its face blue, was jumping up and down, viciously swinging its ax through the air and yelling some primitive war cry.
"Do you want me to hit you again, James?" I snarled at him.
"No," he yelped like a willful toddler.
"I'm pretty sure I heard the lady saying no too. So I think you need to learn what it's like to have your choices overridden by someone bigger and stronger," I hissed. I punched him in the stomach this time, sparing my hand the impact with his jaw bone, and he doubled over before falling back into the chair, wheezing for breath. Fuck, this was way too easy, but I should have known he'd be a pussy on top of everything else.
While James was learning to breathe again, I looked over at Bella. Shit, she looked scared. I needed to end this.
I pulled James out of the chair, turned him slightly, and punched him in the face again, just for good measure. He stumbled across the room, landing on his ass and sliding a couple of feet. I strode over to him, lifted him slightly by the front of his shirt, and practically spitting down at him, furiously choked out between clenched teeth, "Don't come back to school, James. In fact, leave town. If I ever see you again, I'll kick your ass. If Bella even thinks she sees you, I will cheerfully beat you to death. Do you understand, fuckhead?"
He nodded slightly, cringing away from me. Just to make sure he wouldn't get up again for a while, I put my shoe on his balls and pushed myself upright, exerting sufficient pressure to make him squeal and curl up in a ball on the floor. I walked away in disgust, leaving the monster to mop up.
Stopping in front of Bella, hands on my hips, I gulped in a couple of mouthfuls of air and looked down at her. Her eyes were wide and her arms were wrapped around her, clutching her sides. I was still too full of adrenalin to be gentle. "Where are your things?" I demanded.
She looked down, and I saw her backpack lying on the floor. I grabbed the strap and then her hand, seriously needing to get out of there. James continued to moan on the floor, the monster growling at him and adding a kick or two at its leisure.
It wasn't until we got to my car that I slowed our pace, stopping to take Bella into my shaking arms. She laid her hands on either side of my chest and rubbed her forehead between them, seeming to want to burrow inside me. I tightened my embrace and finally was able to speak without obvious anger.
"Are you all right?" I asked, as softly as I could under the circumstances.
The rubbing of her forehead against my chest assumed an up and down movement, but she didn't speak. I had been in time, hadn't I?
"Bella," I tried more gently, "are you all right? Did he hurt you?"
"No. I'm okay," she whispered, finally looking up at me. "Actually, things just got…physical a couple of minutes before you arrived. The rest of the time he was trying out his seduction routine. It was pathetic."
I relaxed a bit then, brushing the hair out of her eyes. Her arms went around my torso and she hugged me tightly, her body slackening in relief against mine. We stood there for a time, just holding onto one another. But I began to question why I wasn't really calming down. I decided we better get out of there. I helped Bella into the car, throwing her pack in the back seat. As I got in on the driver's side, I wondered one thing.
"That fucking project—you are done? Do you need to go back to school to hand it in?" I didn't want her grades to suffer because of this insane episode.
Bella shivered. "No. I'll email it to the teacher and let him know I'll give him a hard copy when the printer is working again. I don't want to go back to school."
"Do you want to go home?" I asked.
"No. I don't want to Charlie to start asking questions. I'd rather stay with you," she explained. "Let's go to your house, like we planned."
The discussion of school reminded me of poor Angela, waiting for word. I handed my phone to Bella along with the piece of paper on which Angela had written her number.
"Angela found me when I was in a bit of a panic. She's waiting at school to make sure you're all right. If you don't want to call her, I will," I offered.
Bella quickly turned towards me, frantic suddenly. "Who else knows about this?"
I ceased my activities, turning in my seat to face her. "No one, Bella, just Angela. She's worried too, so one of us needs to call her and assure her you're okay. You know she won't tell anyone if that's what you want."
"I just feel so stupid—I'd rather not have to explain this to anyone."
Bella picked up the phone and dialed the number while I started the car and drove away. I vaguely registered her conversation with Angela while heading towards home. My curiosity was occupied by something else though.
There was a feeling raging through me that I couldn't identify. It had to be adrenalin from the fight, didn't it? I mean, I had never really been in a physical altercation before, so I had no idea how long it took to emotionally recover from such engagements. But there was some sort of excitement coursing through my body in increasing doses, which didn't make any sense. I should be getting calmer, not experiencing greater tension.
I glanced at Bella and noticed she was still shaking a bit. Now that her phone call was completed, I took her hand in mine, squeezing it gently. At the next stop, I paused for a moment to study her, and suddenly, I knew what was happening to me. There was a reason I felt…tense, and it had nothing to do with adrenalin and everything to do with the blood pooling in my groin as I watched Bella.
Fuck! This couldn't be happening! But it was. I wasn't shaking with suppressed fury, I was trembling with need. I could only assume that some primitive innate response had been trigged by the fight. I had fought the battle and won, and my body automatically concluded that the spoils were mine and I deserved to take them. It was utterly ridiculous and completely undeniable. As if to demonstrate, the monster, face still blue, was ogling Bella as if he wanted to devour her.
I tried desperately to keep my mind on my driving, but my…condition was getting worse by the moment. And holy Christ, the visuals were starting now to fuel the flames. I tried to muzzle my thoughts, but it seemed I was completely helpless before the powerful nature of my ancestral programming. I was the victor, my genes were superior, and my body was demanding that I disperse my seed for the benefit of all humankind.
So, as much as I worked to prevent it, I was unable to stop the images of pulling the car over, dragging Bella from her seat, and bending her over the hood of the Volvo. And of course, they didn't stop there. Next I was throwing her skirt over her back, ripping her panties off and thrusting my rigid cock deep inside her while I held her immobile against the car, claiming my due and natural reward and assuring the continued survival of the species. It was untenable!
I stole a glance at Bella, sitting quietly next to me, clutching my hand. That was a mistake. She looked so delicate, so vulnerable, so fucking takeable.
It had to stop. This had to stop. I worshipped this woman next to me. She had just been manhandled against her will by that asshole James, and here my fantasies were far worse. I was a bigger pig than he was! The monster snorted repeatedly and then squealed.
No matter what, I was going to have to stay away from Bella until this passed. The feelings I was experiencing now were far more intense than even at the height of the BSR Plan. In fact, I wasn't sure I could ever remember wanting her this desperately before.
I pulled up in front of my home slowly, suddenly reluctant to go inside. Bella looked at me, puzzled for a moment, before opening her door. That got me moving, and I jumped out to run around and assist her. I let her head towards the house while I dawdled getting her pack out of the back seat. In that way, I managed to avoid touching her, or even getting too close, on the way into the house.
I lingered again in the foyer, stopping to adjust my jeans and watch while Bella seated herself on the sofa in the living room. I dropped her pack and took a chair that was just close enough so we wouldn't actually have to shout at one another to be heard. Bella looked at me quizzically, and I gave her a shaky smile.
"Are you sure you're all right, Bella?" I inquired in an attempt to divert her attention and deflate my cock.
"Yes, I really am okay. I just feel like such an idiot. How could I have been so stupid?" She truly looked dismayed…and so fucking delectable. My pulse skipped at the sight of the adorable confusion adorning her features.
"You shouldn't blame yourself," I advised. "This was entirely James' doing, and I suspect he'd been trying to figure out a way to get you alone for quite a while. What would you like to do now?"
She looked a little embarrassed. "He didn't really touch me or anything. I even kept my mouth clamped shut most of the time. But I still just feel a little…dirty. I think I'd be fine if I had a shower."
The monster, sitting at Bella's feet, perked up considerably, while I suppressed a groan.
Christ, she had used the S-word. God help me. I had to be able to do this. I had to be able to help her through this without assaulting her. I nodded and rose to my feet, preparing to follow Bella to my room, afraid she would realize something was wrong if I loitered downstairs.
I won't watch her ass… I won't watch her ass…
Of course, my eyes were glued to her ass as she walked upstairs. I was starting to breathe harder now, and it wasn't due to exertion. Arriving in my room, I fell back on the sofa and tried to look anywhere but at Bella. I failed.
I saw her shrug a bit before heading into the bathroom, giving the door only a slight push so it partially closed. Shit! Close the fucking door… Close the fucking door…
She didn't close the fucking door, leaving plenty of room for the monster to peer inside. And me. I caught a glimpse of bare limbs and sweet curves before the frosted door of the shower closed and her body became a vague outline. I closed my eyes to dispel the image, which was immediately replaced with even lewder graphics.
I slumped forward on the sofa, resting my elbows on my knees and dropping my face into my hands. How could this be happening to me? From the very first moment I saw her, Bella's sense of vulnerability had…appealed to me. I also recognized that James' attentions to her had always had an undesirable effect on me, bringing urgency to the already strong drive I had to claim and possess her. But this, this was beyond all my experience. The residual energy from the fight, when added to my pre-existing impulses, had apparently transformed into some basic, feral instinct to assert my will. Christ, I was shaking…
Hoisting my frame up from the couch, I began pacing the room while giving myself, and the monster, a rigorous lecture. Again. Now, Bella's been through enough for one day. The last thing she needs is you pawing at her too. So, just relax Edward. You can do this! You can just hold her, be the supportive, loving boyfriend she needs. The monster gave a dubious snort.
Caught up as I was, I hadn't heard the shower turn off, but I innocently turned around as I heard the door swing open. Fuck! Bella emerged with only a towel wrapped around her, looking warm and wet and incredibly inviting, just like a certain part of her body…
I gulped convulsively, terror stricken, and as Bella began to approach me, I wrapped my arms around my body and, like an abject coward, took refuge behind the sofa. Of course, she noticed, and a hurt expression subdued her face. Unconsciously mirroring my stance, her arms crossed around her body, her fingers clutching her waist.
She looked at the floor before asking, in a plaintive voice, "What's wrong, Edward? Are you angry with me?"
"No. No, not at all," I responded, suddenly realizing it wasn't truly anger, but fear that drove my passions. Fear that I could lose her, fear that I couldn't protect my lust magnet. It wasn't her fault, but reason had nothing to do with the emotional upheaval at hand. The monster gave me a vicious kick in the ankle.
"Then why are you so distant?" she asked imploringly.
It was stupid, I suppose, not to realize that my actions, or lack thereof, might hurt her. And her sensitive demeanor wasn't helping the situation any. Seriously, how much more assailable could she look, standing there wet and helpless, clad only in a towel that was now clearly remaining stationary solely by the pressure of her arms against her body. It was only fair to her to confess my weakness.
"Bella…you really should stay away from me," I admitted shame-faced.
"You are angry," Bella whispered dejectedly. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I know I was an idiot. I just really never thought—"
I cut her off. "No, Bella. It's not that. I…I'm having some trouble controlling myself at the moment. You see…you see I want you so desperately right now that I can't trust myself. If I touch you, if I even get near you, I'm going to explode. And it wouldn't be making love, Bella. It would be driven by…something else—by fear or need or some savage compulsion. And I couldn't be tender with you, which is what you need right now. I'm afraid I might scare you or hurt you, so I'm trying to keep my distance," I explained in a rush.
"Don't you understand?" she pleaded, frantically imploring me to, well, understand. "It's what I need too! I need to be with you…I need to know I belong to you and only to you."
Her arms extended towards me, and that fucking towel hit the floor.
I couldn't even remember crossing the room to her, but suddenly there I was, one hand grasping her face, holding her still as my tongue pillaged her mouth, while the other grabbed a fleshy curve of her ass, crushing her against my body. Small but insistent noises were coming from the back of my throat as she responded equally to the urgency of my kisses. And perhaps her eagerness to be with me, her expressed willingness to yield to me, was the only thing that could have prevented me from taking her like an unhinged animal. Perhaps…
I thought no more about it, or anything other than Bella and reestablishing my claim to her body. My hand descended to join the other clasped on her backside, and I lifted her body, striding to the bed. I had to once again fight the urgent need to turn her over and enter her from behind as she lay helpless, having at least an ounce of civility left in me, but knew the idea was only delayed, not abandoned. Another time, I promised myself…
I struggled to hastily remove my clothes, my voracious attention never wavering from her body while I breathlessly undressed. Her eyes traveled down my body, and Bella propped herself on her elbows, staring at my arousal. I perversely hoped it was concern I saw in her expression.
Standing next to the bed, looming over her as she lay across it, my hands reached out and pressed against the inside of her knees, spreading her legs wide for me. As I stood there, staring at…my possession, she began to tremble, but fortunately withstood any impulse she might have had to protect her modesty. While I knew with utter certainty that I would never ignore her wishes, the knowledge that she wanted me too, that she consented to my actions, perversely strengthened my need to have my way. It seemed she understood better than I did myself, as she lay completely back and let her arms rest beside her head in a gesture of undeniable submission. I actually growled my triumph and mounted the bed, positioning myself between her legs.
My hand went directly to her sex, taking delightful note of the moisture, but seeking to confirm her readiness by slipping a finger inside her. Oh, she was ready all right. When I felt her muscles clench, I lost what little reserve was remaining, and lowering my body, I buried myself inside her.
Bella gasped and stiffened before relaxing once again and wrapping her legs around me. The monster had complete control of me now, as I thrust unrelentingly inside her, capturing her with my arms to hold her steady for my driving onslaught, re-claiming her with my cock.
And yes, there it was—the fear, the need, the domination—all coming to the fore, all bursting out of me with each pitiless stroke. My assault was ruthless but short lived. I couldn't wait for Bella—I couldn't wait for anything. Not this time. My hips thrust one last time, my hand trailing down her back to lift and position her hips for optimal contact before my release immobilized me, and I shuddered with a sob of relief. The last of the brutish emotions dissipated as I recovered lying atop her, gasping for breath, and remorse struck a moment later. Well, struck me at least. The monster didn't look any too ashamed, a giddy smile plastered across its victorious face.
"Bella, God, don't hate me for that. Please, don't hate me," I groaned, unable to look at her.
"Don't be silly, Edward. I could never hate you." She gently combed her fingers through my hair. "I don't think you realize that I needed to be with you as much as you wanted to be with me."
That got my attention. I propped myself up and stared down into Bella's eyes. I searched her face, fearful of seeing disgust or aversion. I saw neither. I saw nothing but love. How could this be?
I kissed her, this time not seeking to be the conqueror in some undeclared war, but to express my abject love and devotion. My tongue stroked hers, willing her to understand, as one hand trailed the length of her side, slipping between us to caress her breast and tease her nipple. Bella moaned into my mouth, her hips tilting forward towards mine.
I had never left her, and that seemed a good thing now, as my body quickly began to recover. My desire grew for her and in her, and I began to gently move against her, hoping to advance the process. I wanted nothing more than to gratify her now. Her vocal encouragements did more to reignite my capabilities than anything.
Apparently, my shameless demonstration of a few minutes ago had still been effective as a warm-up for Bella, much to my surprise and delight. My current endeavors served as a continuation then, and now we proceeded to the main event, so to speak. My movements intensified, as did my efforts to provide stimulation. I planted sweet kisses on her neck, utilizing my teeth when I got to the juncture of her shoulder. Bella shivered and clasped me closer. My hand, now almost trapped between our bodies, continued to fondle her breast, pinching and rolling the sensitive tip, each maneuver eliciting a greater response.
"Don't stop," Bella whispered raggedly, her eyes closed to me, her head turning back and forth. "Don't stop, Edward."
"Never, love, never," I affirmed, responding to a different, unspoken request.
I was prepared to persist for hours, if necessary, to bring her the happiness she deserved, not to mention to atone for sating myself like a beast before. Propping myself on my elbows, my hands placed to gently hold her head still, I allowed my tongue to tenderly explore her mouth once again. I recalled the days when all of this was still a fantasy of mine, when simultaneously penetrating her with my tongue and my cock represented the height of my desire. But now, to be able to do so, and to experience at the same time such desperate love for her, was utterly exhilarating.
I began to move with more purpose now, striving to bring her to fulfillment, to bring her closer to me, to bring her to share in the ecstasy I now felt and she so richly deserved. Her moans and whimpers filled my mouth, her fingers clawed at my body, but I did not release her. She withdrew to some place inside, and still I held her, loved her. I wouldn't allow her to be alone now, whispering my love for her, how wonderful she was, that she was my whole world, as I again made her mine. When her eyes widened and she convulsed against me, I plunged yet deeper inside her. And when she had experienced the full magnitude of her pleasure, I let myself go, holding onto her for dear life. As I always would.
And the monster, realizing at the moment that three was a crowd, snuck quietly from the room.
Thank you to my wonderful beta, psymom.
Thanks to everyone who voted for MD in the Bellies! This story won for best make-out scene, but which chapter that was is anyone's guess! I seem to recall one or two such scenes . . .