Chapter Twenty Five
Thanks for all of the positive feedback on my last chapter! Glad to know y'all liked it so much. Side note: we reached 150 reviews! You guys are awesome.
It is exam week right now at school, which means less school and (hopefully) more writing for you guys! Anyways, enjoy the chapter!
Fire is a direct symbol of passion, of lust. A fiery person is outspoken and brave. Sometimes fire can be misjudged; people are cautious of something so beautiful and mystical but burns to the touch. Fire spreads like a disease, consuming everything in its path. It devours and destroys, and can completely decimate a forest. But there is another side to fire. It warms people and cooks their food. Without it, human civilization could have simply not existed. It's two sided; like a double edge broad sword. A fickle and hardly constant thing; but you just simply cannot live without it.
People will show you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be. –Don Draper
Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe the world to be a beautiful place. –Kurt Vonnegut
Katara stood speechless, trying hopelessly to form her racing thoughts into words. Her ankles were tickled by the waves, still standing in the shallow surf of the ocean. There was nothing she could do, really; Zuko had seen her tattoo and now somehow knew that she was the Painted Lady. "Zuko, I can explain!" She managed to get out of her mouth, reaching out to touch Zuko. I'm so stupid!
Zuko backed away from Katara, unsure what he was thinking. "You… you lied to me. You lied to us. How could you do this, Katara? You're out there risking your life for a cheap thrill? How could you be so selfish, Katara?" He said, rubbing his forehead in aggravation. Suddenly, the waves no longer felt warm and inviting under the sun's rays. They felt cold and distant; too foreign for Zuko to stand.
Katara blinked at Zuko, confused. "How can you call me selfish, Zuko? How dare you assume the first thing about me?" She said, not sure if she wanted to slap him or just cry. He doesn't know the first thing about what I've been through or why I've done it! "And if anyone's selfish, it's you. Did you forget about your little accident, Zuko? I saved your life. And maybe if you weren't so caught up in being so damn self-righteous and holy, you could thank me or at least acknowledged it happened!" She said, too afraid to move. If she so much as blinked, a cascade of tears would come out and Zuko would just write her off as another crying girl.
Zuko, ignoring Katara's unstable personality, laughed. "You really want to preach to me about self-righteousness, Katara? You've been hiding your entire life from us and you want to blame me for getting mad? Why couldn't you have just told me, Katara? I thought we were best friends." He said, unable to mask the hurt in his voice. How can I not supposed to feel betrayed by you, Katara? You've been lying to me!
Katara snorted, trying to act like she couldn't hear the tone in Zuko's voice. It was so much easier to pretend that he was mad instead of hurt. I didn't do this to hurt you. I think I love you, why would I hurt you? "I had to hide it, Zuko. I knew you'd act like this. And whenever you find out something about my life, you always attack it. Can't you just accept me for who I am, Zuko?" She said, now pleading with the scarred teenager in front of her.
Somewhere inside of her, deep in her soul, Katara knew something was changing between her and Zuko. He didn't trust her at all, and there was so much useless tension between them. And for some unexplainable reason, she lied to him. There was a nagging feeling inside of her telling her that she could have, should have told Zuko the truth. But that was quickly squelched by the look of wariness in Zuko's eyes. He'll never feel the same way as I do. He can't even see me as a person anymore.
And to a point, Katara's fears were true. Zuko didn't want to see Katara as a fighter, as someone who would fight and battle to her dying breath. Was it too much to want Katara to remain as the girl from the bakery, the one who makes bad jokes and never drinks too much? "I'm not going to accept the fact that you run around as some… street fighter who punches people to make a quick buck! You're choosing to be lower class, Katara. Don't you know the kind of people who participate in that sport? You're turning yourself into some lowlife who chooses some poor sport instead of her friends and family! Or do you even have any real friends, Katara? Are we just some game to you? Am I… just some cover for your stupid pastime?"
There was no thought in Katara's head when she reached up to Zuko's face- making sure to use her left hand, avoiding his scar- and slapped him hard across his face. "Until you can learn to not be an assuming jerk, don't talk to me. Or you can just assume that we are over, and assume that you shouldn't talk to a pathetic, lowlife peasant like me." She whispered, glaring at him with her icy eyes before stomping off.
Zuko tried to block out the feeling of betrayal aching in his chest. "It's a good thing we didn't have anything, Katara, because I'd be damned if I ever wanted anything to do with someone as crazy, complicated, and messed up as you!" He bellowed, every word hitting Katara on her bare back as she walked away.
"Don't pretend you're any better than me, Zuko! At least my family isn't absolutely crazy and evil! You do realize your father is the devil, right?" She said, choosing to go for a low blow. It wasn't a classy move, and she knew that Zuko would probably do something stupid because of it, but Katara didn't particularly care at the moment.
Zuko hissed, appalled by Katara's choice to include Zuko's father in the conversation. "At least I have a family, Katara! A dead mother and a soldier father doesn't exactly scream 'perfect family,' does it?"
As Katara simultaneously made obscene hand gestures at Zuko and flung the screen door open, she was greeted by an enthusiastic smile from Toph.
"I take it you two had fun?"
Katara slammed down a box of cereal from a cupboard. "Oh yeah, Toph. We had an amazing time."
Sitting on the beach together a few hours later was difficult for Zuko and Katara. As soon as the sun had set, Ty Lee had set out a decent size bonfire and requested everyone to come out. So the entire crew had piled out of the shack, bringing with them a fairly large amount of marshmallows and alcohol. After all, there were things that needed to be consumed for Katara and Zuko to tolerate each other at the time. About an hour into the awkward silence of the bonfire, Sokka stood up and faced Katara.
"Katara, everyone heard your fight with Zuko on the beach. And judging by the fact you two have been glaring at each other all night, I'm guessing you two haven't made up. So can you please get to it so we can enjoy this trip? You planned this, Katara. You deserve to have a good time." Sokka pleaded, batting his blue eyes at his younger sister.
His younger sister, in turn, rolled her eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about, Sokka." Katara murmured, chucking an innocent marshmallow into the flames. There was point in apologizing to Zuko, or demanding an apology for him. There would only be another fight, another excuse to scream at each other. We're too different to get along. She watched in amusement as a lonely burning stick, somehow having escaped from the fire, rolled down the beach before sizzling into the water. We're like fire and water. We can't be near each other without one of us destroying the other.
Zuko chuckled lowly, obviously amused by Sokka's attempts to soothe the tension between him and Katara. "You really think this is going to help, Sokka? Do you really think I care?"
"I think you do." Ty Lee chimed in from across the fire, her bright face illuminated by the flickering tendrils of the fire.
"You don't know me, so why don't you just mind your own business?" Zuko said, angrily getting up from the raggedy blanket lying on the sand. I'm done with this. I don't need these people in my life. Maybe Azula was right, and I should have joined her when I had the chance.
Ty Lee scoffed at Zuko. "I know you."
Zuko turned back to face Ty Lee, eyes lit by the anger inside of him. "No, you don't. You're stuck inside little 'Ty Lee' world where everything's so great all the time."
Katara glared at Zuko. It was fine for Zuko to be mad at her; she probably deserved it. But Ty Lee never did anything to hurt anyone. "Leave her alone." She ordered, standing up to face Zuko.
Zuko rolled his eyes. Does she have to involve herself in every little conversation? "I'm so pretty. Look at me, I can walk on my hands. Wee!" He mocked, doing a small handstand. "Freak."
Ty Lee started to cry. "Here we go." Muttered Toph, closing her eyes. It was time, once again, to hear Ty Lee's sob story.
Ty Lee stood up, creating a small, angry trio of people glaring across the bonfire. "Laugh all you want, Zuko. Don't you know why I'm the way I am? Do you have any idea what my home life was like? Growing up with six sisters who looked exactly like me? It was like I didn't even have my own name! I was scared of living my life as part of my life. At least I'm different now. 'Freak' is a compliment."
Zuko scoffed, finding it hard to listen to Ty Lee's dramatic story. "Guess that's why you need ten boyfriends, too."
Ty Lee stood straight, crossing her arms defiantly. "I'm sorry, what?"
Zuko shrugged. "Attention issues. You couldn't get enough attention as a kid, so you're trying to make up for it now."
Katara raised an eyebrow. "What's your excuse, Zuko? Your mother loved you so much, and even after she disappeared your uncle doted on you. And even with all of that, you're still the same cold, mean person! Even Toph is nicer than you!" She said, pointing a shaking finger at Toph.
Toph chuckled, sipping her beer. "Sorry I can't be as crazy and high-strung as the rest of you."
Zuko growled, staring Katara down. Try as he might, Katara refused to squirm under his scrutinizing glare. "I'm cold? You don't feel anything, Katara! You talk so much about how much you care and how much you like us, all you do is lie! I wish you could feel something real for five seconds! I don't know if you're telling the truth, or if it's just another lie!"
Katara sighed. "What do you want from me, Zuko? You want some teary confession of how hard my life was, and how messed up my family was? Well, guess what? It wasn't. I had a nice life, where my parents loved me and I could do anything I wanted. I loved my family." She spat out, her stare turning to ice as she spoke to Zuko.
Sokka cleared his throat. "He's got a point, Katara. Lately, you're just not… you're not here, Katara. You're always spacing out or leaving, and you put all of this responsibility on me. It's not fair, Katara. You're just an empty shell of who you used to be. You were so full of life, and you smiled all the time, and I miss it. I wish you would just express yourself." He grumbled, staring into the fire.
"You want me to express myself?" Katara screeched, throwing her empty beer glass to the ground where it shattered into a million tiny pieces. "Leave me alone!"
Zuko touched her arm nervously, causing Katara to whirl around angrily at him. "I like it when you express yourself." He offered hopefully.
Katara hissed, backing away from his touch and onto a small broken shard of glass. "Don't touch me! I'm still mad at you." She said, glancing at him with a sideways look.
Zuko sighed. "My life hasn't been easy either, Katara."
Katara shrugged, dog tags jingling in the summer breeze. "Whatever. It doesn't excuse the way you've been acting."
Ty Lee stood up again, nervously shuffling her feet. "Calm down you guys. This much bad energy is bad for your skin! You'll break out."
Zuko looked at the cheerleader incredulously. "Bad skin? Normal teenagers worry about bad skin. I don't have that luxury. My father decided to teach me a permanent lesson on my face!"
Ty Lee looked to the ground in shame. "I'm sorry, Zuko. I didn't mean-"
Zuko kicked the sand, back to the fire. "For so long I've thought that if my dad accepted me, I'd be happy. Now he wants me back, and Azula is asking me to go home, and my Uncle thinks I'm a hero. Everything should be perfect, right? I should be happy now, but I'm angrier than ever and I don't know why!" He shouted, screaming at the stars.
Katara silently left the conversation. Walking to the water, she watched numbly as the water washed over her toes.
Suki shrugged effortlessly. "It's easy, then. Who are you angry at?"
Zuko turned back to the fire, bewildered. "What?"
"Is it me?" Ty Lee asked, grey eyes wide.
Zuko blinked. "What? No!"
An eruption of voices came up from the campfire, swirling around Zuko.
"Is it me?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"Well, is it me?"
"Come on, answer it."
Zuko roared. "I'm angry at myself!" He said, sitting down in defeat. "I'm so confused. I don't know the difference between right and wrong anymore. And I'm so scared. I've been hurting people. All of the people I care about." He glanced at Katara, trying to convey to her what he was feeling from twenty feet away. "And I've been judging people without really knowing what was going on, and I'm sorry."
Suddenly, a memory returned to Katara. It was from when she was younger, maybe four or five. Her mother was clutching her tight and Katara was holding a small broken toy. "Makuahine, why did Sokka break my doll? I'm never talking to him again!" Katara cried, throwing her broken doll to the ground. "Of course you will, Katara". Kya smiled, scooping up the broken doll gently. "Why would I?" The young Katara had exclaimed, the tears drying off of her face. "Because, my dear, sometimes the people you love make mistakes. It's hard to remember that they're human, just like you." Kya had said gently, brushing the hair out of her daughter's face. "But we love them, so we must try to forgive them. We can't afford to stay mad at the few people in our life who are truly meant to stay in your life, my dear. And after all, everything can be fixed." The doll had been sewed back together by the time Katara had gone to bed that night.
Katara raced back to the fire, stopping in front of the fire. "Hey guys. Maybe it's the beer talking, but I just have some things to say. Um… where do I start?" She said, scratching her head in a rather unfeminine way. Turning to her brother, her icy gaze stared hard into his eyes. "Sokka, I've devoted so much of my life to helping you. I spend most of my free time at the bakery or helping you get ready for college. I don't think you realize that I've made your future. Who made you study for the SAT? Me. Who made you join that stupid club because it looks amazing on your college admissions? Me. You don't even realize what I had to do for this family after Makuahine died, do you? I gave up my childhood to support you and dad, and you didn't even care." She took a long breath, taking in the confused faces of her friends. "And why don't any of you ever care when I skip school or leave your houses at two in the morning? None of you really care, and it sucks." Looking one last time, her eyes landed on Zuko. "Zuko, I risked my life for you. I risked everything for you and now you can't even look me in the eye. And I know that you don't respect my choices or whatever and I get that, but I miss having fun with you. I miss all of you so much, and you've shut me out. And it really sucks." She finished, stepping once again into the fractals of her broken glass. "Well my foot is bleeding pretty bad, so I'm just gonna go." She mumbled, hobbling off to the shack.
Zuko jogged behind her, picking her up and getting her foot off of the sandy ground. "I'm really sorry. If you want to talk to me about fighting, I want to listen. I'm open to learning about your life." He said, giving Katara a half smile.
Katara blushed lightly, thankful that the moon's rays weren't strong enough to show the pigment in her cheeks. "I'd love that."
Meanwhile, the group at the campfire watched in confusion as the duo went towards the shack. "What's their problem?"
It was nearing five in the morning, much after their friends had gone to sleep, Katara and Zuko remained sitting on the porch. They had been talking for hours, and were reaching the end of their conversation.
"So they really wanted you to quit school?" Zuko inquired, fascinated by every spectrum of Katara's fighting.
Katara laughed, and Zuko was grateful to hear it again. "Yes, they wanted me to quit school. I missed a lot of stuff midday, and people began to get ideas about me being too young. So instead, I started morning practices and leave school on a minute's notice." She said, feet swinging off the porch. "You know, I'm really glad you approve of what I do. It means a lot."
Zuko blinked at her a few times before processing a rational thought. "Katara, I don't approve of what you've been doing. But if trying to understand what you do and accepting you means that we can still be okay, then I'll do it. You mean more to me than some fighting ring does." He said quietly, trailing off towards the end of his statement.
Katara smiled before quickly embracing him in a tight hug. "Thank you." She said breathlessly, before quickly popping up and jumping in her mildewed hammock.
Zuko chuckled, walking slowly to his own hammock. "I'm glad we're still friends." He said, his words reaching out into the night sky. I wish we were more than that.
Katara smiled sadly, swaying in the increasingly cold summer breeze. I wish it could be more. "Do you think we could-" she said before a huge boom of thunder rolled across the beach, effectively silencing Katara.
Zuko's raspy voice began after the thunderclap ended. "Do you think it's going to-"
The bottom fell out. In the blink of an eye, it was pouring rain on the two unamused teenagers. "Of course it would rain!" Katara yelled over the downpour, struggling to be heard over the roar of the raindrops.
Zuko laughed. "It's not that bad, princess!" He said, shouting.
He was true, of course. The rain would stop, and then it would be a fine night to sleep outside. This was true until the dingy ropes holding Katara's hammock in the air snapped, sending Katara flying towards the ground with a thump!
Zuko heard the noise and grew worried. Climbing out of his hammock, he walked over to Katara's hammock, where he proceeded to slip and fall on the wet porch. So, somehow, both teens were staring at each other from inside the monsoon of a summer rainstorm. And the strangest thing happened.
They began to laugh. It was not a true laugh, but instead the kind of laugh you make after you've finally given up. Katara had heard it once; during a hike up to their island's volcano, a seagull had relieved itself on her mother's head. She had started laughing and crying just like Katara found herself doing right then, and Katara realized how tired of holding herself back she was. She touched Zuko's face softly, meeting his eyes. "I think I'm done with lying to myself, Zuko." She said, not needing to yell over the pouring rain. His face was only a few inches away; she could have whispered and he would've heard every word.
Zuko looked at the girl in front of him with rapt attention. Her hair was pasted to her face, and she was pale from the cold. The bags under her eyes had grown as the two had withheld sleep for a chance to talk, and her lips were dry from the endless days of saltwater. She was the most beautiful thing Zuko had ever seen. "I think I'm done lying to myself, too." He said quietly, cupping the back of her head gently.
There weren't many times in Zuko's life where he felt truly himself. It was a rare moment where he could accept who he was or what he wanted, but this was one of those special moments. As he leaned towards Katara, he smiled softly.
A new age had started that second, early in the summer morning. Though the thick clouds blocked much from vision, the sun had begun to rise from the east as the moon's crescent danced in the west. And as the moon and sun occupied the same sky, Katara and Zuko shared the ground beneath them as their lips met each other in a frenzied passion. And this time, neither one was going to let go.
If you thought that those last paragraphs was a bit rough, I agree. I tried to rewrite it several times, and I just couldn't improve it much. I hope you guys like the new chapter! A lot of stuff has been happening lately, and I think it's exciting. If you feel the same way, review! If you disagree, review! Please just review. I love everything you guys send to me.
R&R!