A/N: Thank you so much for all the feedback, hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

I let myself enjoy the kiss for exactly 10 seconds. Okay, so it's closer to a minute, two at the most, but beyond that, I stop it. I pull away and, while reluctant (hey, he was kissing me, give me a break!), I have to stop this because it's not right. The moment isn't right, not that I ever really thought there'd be a moment. I mean, sure, when I was a teenager, I always pictured it like something out of Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles, but as I got older, the delusions of grandeur gave way to more realistic scenarios.

Still, I never pictured it like this. I pull away with a slight sigh, and I put my hands on his shoulder, pushing him away to give myself space. I'm afraid if I don't give myself some space I'm liable to just start making out with him. I wouldn't put it past myself. He's standing there, looking so cute and vulnerable, and that's when I come back to myself. He's vulnerable, and he might not even realize what he's doing.

"Chris," my voice holds another sigh.

"I thought you wanted this," he tells me, and his eyes look sad now, like he's done something else wrong, and what a day that would be, first his child is taken away then he thinks I rejected him, but that's not what this is.

"I do, believe me, but not like this," I shake my head. I grab his hand and lead him to the couch. He's not familiar with my place so he looks around, probably trying to take it in. He sits down and I sit down near him, facing him.

"I don't…I thought you—"

"I do," not making him finish that statement, "but Chris, look at us right now. It's…you just found out that you aren't having a baby, and that puts you in a weird place," I say with a shrug. "I mean, how do you react to that? There's no real way."

"So you think that me kissing you is just a reaction to finding out that I'm not having a kid?" he tries to clarify and I nod. I want it to be more, but I just can't trust anything he says or does in this moment. It seems silly to put off the one thing I've always wanted, but hey, sue me for wanting it to be about us and not about Barbie's baby. "How do you know it's about that?"

"Well, let's see," I tap my chin, "you came here to tell me the truth, you didn't want my love before, hell, you didn't even want my friendship, do you see where I'd be having a difficult time accepting that this about us and not about…um, everything else in the entire world that's screwed up right now?"

"I know how it may seem that way—"

"It's not just that, Chris," I interject, and it's not. There are a lot of things that we need to talk about and a lot of issues that need to get resolved. Being away from Chris has opened my eyes. We've had this weird dependent relationship for too long, and it's about time we let all the grievances out before we move forward.

"What else is it?"

"It's the fact that you believed Barbie over me, that you threw my love and my friendship in my face. Trust is something that's built, not just freely given, and you kind of threw that in my face. I know that you thought the kid was yours, but…forgiveness is easy, but forgetting…"

"So I'm up shit creek without a paddle with you?" he laughs pathetically. "You're my best friend, Scout. You've always been my best friend."

"Oh yeah, even when I was the dorky little girl with the bowl cut who followed you around like a lost, little puppy dog?" I scoff.

"Even then," he says, "and I'm so sorry about what I did, and I know that words aren't enough because I listen when you talk, Stephanie, I just went…even though the baby wasn't planned, it was like, suddenly everything was different, and I was going to be a dad, and I got tunnel vision. Everything became about that baby, which is why I treated you like shit. There's no excuse for it, but that's my explanation for it."

"I know, and I get that, and I understand, I just…it's hard, you know."

"Yeah, I get it, I hurt you, and I can't take that I hurt you because you mean more to me than anyone, and I've realized how true that actually is. I miss you so much, even when I was with Barbie and even when I pushed you away, I missed you so much, and I instantly realized what an ass I was, but…I didn't know how to fix it, I still don't."

"I think it's actually good that we're not living together anymore," I let him know, and I'm not lying. "I think we became too dependent on one another, and I think that is probably why our relationship is so screwed up."

"You really think we're screwed up?"

"I didn't tell you I loved you for years, decades actually, which is the saddest thing ever," I laugh, "I was so scared of losing you that I didn't want to tell you at all. I didn't want to ever tell you because I didn't want to ruin our friendship."

"I wish you had," he says. He's telling the truth. There's no use in hindsight now. You can say things like, "we would have been together" or "we would have been married by now," but there's no way of predicting a relationship before it actually happens. You can guess based on certain behaviors, but even then, it's not an exact science.

"I sometimes do too, but that's not how it worked out, and that's okay, maybe it wasn't supposed to work out that way."

"So you're saying that there's no chance for us?" he asks, and that's not what I'm saying at all.

So instead, I have to ask, "Chris, what are your feelings for me? You said that I was…I don't know, presumptuous about what you were thinking when you kissed me, so tell me, what exactly are you feeling?"

"I feel like I need to give this a chance," Chris says slowly, but there's more, and I know it, so I let him stew for a few moments before he starts talking in earnest. Chris, in interviews, with media, with most people, he's a say first, do damage control later kind of person. Yet, with me, he's always been really thoughtful. "I never thought of you like that until I did."

"I can understand that," I answer, "we've been friends for so long that I guess the transition from friend to something more is going to be difficult if you haven't ever thought about it."

"You've just always been there, you've always been like my second half, which made me think about you as my second half. I always thought we came as a package deal. It was us and everyone else, even Shane wasn't really part of everything, it was just us, and we've been living together for so long that it added to that package part of it."

"So we were just one big blob then?" I giggle.

"Kind of, and then you weren't there, and it felt…empty. It's hard to explain, but me kissing you, yes, maybe I'm feeling a little bit on the vulnerable side and maybe I needed that comfort, and you're a good kisser by the way," I smile widely at that, "but it was more than that too. That's why I said that you didn't know what I was feeling because I've been thinking about it, and given the chance, I'd want to pursue it."

This is everything I've ever wanted, and I can't accept it, why can't I accept it? Why can't I just say to hell with those feelings of sadness and betrayal from before and just make out with him right now? It would be so simple, I'd just lean over and kiss him, and we'd forget about all this ugliness. It would be the easy way out though, and nothing would ever be resolved, and that betrayal would linger between us forever.

"I want that too," I concede, "but not right now, not when things are still so…weird."

"Then when?" he presses, and I'm not even sure when. He must see the look of confusion on my face because he continues, "Steph, when is ever the right time to be in a relationship? There's not going to be some great sign that tells you we should be together. There's not going to be anything that is clear except to jump in."

He's so convincing, and what if he's right? What if this is the only chance we'll ever have, that I'll ever have to be with the man I love. "What do you feel for me, for reals, not what you think you might feel, what do you feel?"

"I feel remorse, like I should be crawling up to you and begging you for your forgiveness. I feel like a jackass for putting you into the situation I did. I feel like I owe you a million apologies and that I can never make up for that. I feel like the last 29 years have been years I've taken for granted because I always just assumed you'd be there, and when you weren't, I needed you more than anyone. I…"

"Yeah?" He's so damn convincing that I'm seriously on the verge of making out with him. I am just about to jump across this couch and stick my tongue down his throat. He looks so sad and I know that he means every word he says. Even if I didn't know all his faces, I'd still know that he's being sincere.

"When I found out that Barbie's baby wasn't mine, there was some relief, and my first thought afterwards was, 'Now I can have them with Steph,' and that's not normal thinking. I think…I think I've had feelings for you, but I never let them be explored because you were you."

I cover my face with my hands because I can't even look at him right now, "Why did you have to say things like that?"

"Because they're true," he tells me, and I peek at him between my fingers. He looks almost like he should be apologizing for this too, and he shouldn't. He really shouldn't because ugh, now this is feeling like a moment, like the moment, but I can't forgive him so easily, I just can't, but what would he have to do to make me trust him again? Why would I make him jump through hoops?

"Kids with me?"

"I'm not saying that is something that's going to happen tomorrow, I'm just saying that when I thought…when I found out you loved me, it made sense, I can't even explain how it made sense, but it was like, okay, yeah, that seems about right."

"You've done a lot of thinking."

"Well, Barbie wasn't right for me, and talking to her is like…talking to a black hole, you can talk at it, but nothing is going to come back out of it. She's a nice girl—"

"No, she's not, she's a horrible girl for making you believe that you were that baby's father when you weren't. She shouldn't have done that, and you shouldn't make excuses for her," I have to make him believe that because he's too nice a guy to put blame, but there is blame."

"Okay, still, what I'm saying is that I had a lot of time to think, and when I found out what happened, a part of that relief was because I could be with you, so…can I take you out? It can be as friends or more or nothing, just, can I take you out? See if we can repair what I broke?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'd like that," I nod because maybe that's how we're going to get back to what we were, and maybe that's how we're going to get past where we were before into that uncharted territory. It's not saying that we're going to be in a relationship, but it is saying that we're going to see where this takes us.

"Okay, great," he nods enthusiastically. He looks, again, like there's a tremendous amount of relief on his face. "We can go to that Chinese place we like, or the Greek place, if you feel like that."

I grab his hand, "We'll figure it out."

He knows I mean more than just where we're going to eat, "Yeah, we will," he locks eyes with me, and can I just kiss him one more time? I mean, what would it hurt? I lean forward and press a chaste kiss to his cheek.

"We'll figure everything out."