The doors to 1st Division's office slammed open with a loud bang, startling the captain dozing off inside. He blinked several times so that his eyes could adjust to the bright light that shone in from behind the three girls.
They walked in triumphantly at first but then slowly, their steps slowed down and their bodies crumpled down onto the ground. Somehow though they all managed to land in the 'perfect' Japanese sitting position (sitting on their knees).
"Fail…" Renji coughed out as he saw all three girls defeated on the floor. Hitsugaya and Byakuya nodded in unison.
"Ohh… I shoulda gotten that wheelchair…" Tori whined with a pout.
"I never got that option!" Mika turned to Tori wide-eyed. "Special brat…" She grumbled.
"Maybe it's because you scared everyone away before they could speak to you!" Renji pointed out to her.
Yamamoto cleared his throat which caught the attention of all six.
"Welcome back you three."
"Something's wrong…" Mika mouthed to the other two. They nodded nervously.
"As you three probably already know, you were in a coma for a month. During that time we have realized that your reiatsus have changed, however nothing serious was done to you three."
"Yama-jii…!" Mika suddenly blurted out. He looked at her. "Your arm is burned!" She gasped in shock. "You know what that means!!" She faced Rina and Tori. The three captains could only wonder why in the world they had gotten so worked up about those three sitting like idiots on the floor in front of their boss.
"He's gonna die! Like Dumbledore in Harry Potter!! It started with a burned hand!" Tori spewed out like an honour roll student.
"… Then who's the guy that's gonna kill him?" Rina asked meekly.
Color drained from Tori's and Mika's faces. Immediately they started to list people who seemed likely to end the old man's life.
"Wow…" Hitsugaya remarked at their hard work at trying to find the traitor amongst them. "I didn't know they read!"
"They probably don't, they just go to the movies… in the real world where it's free for them…" Renji pointed out.
"Aw sh-t…" Rina cursed suddenly as her left arm flopped down lifelessly. Mika and Tori stared at it before gasping in shock.
"Rina, can you feel that arm?" Tori asked her. Rina shook her head no.
"Rina!! Don't die on us!!" Mika cried out suddenly. Rina just stared at them confused as everyone else was. "Don't you know? One-sided paralysis is a sign of a brain tumour!!" Mika and Tori glomped Rina in a tight embrace and started praying for her well-being.
"Mika, Tori!" Rina whimpered out. It sounded like she had started crying – a real, rare sight to see.
The two girls released hold on their friend to see a pained look on her face.
"I don't have a tumour, it's this stupid lieutenant's badge!!" She whined while she tugged on the badge. "Ukitake tied it on too tight and I can't get it off!!!" She whined.
"It can't be that hard…" Renji told her.
"It'sa friggin Boy Scout knot dammit!!!" Rina screamed out at him as she tried again to tear off the badge constricting blood flow to her arm.
"About that…" Yamamoto spoke up after watching their shenanigans. "You'll have to get re-evaluated." Rina frowned at this. "After your 2-year probation of course."
"…what?" All three girls stared at him confused.
"What does probation mean…?" Tori whispered out to Mika.
"I think it's bad…" Mika replied.
"It's your punishment." Yamamoto told them.
"… When was this decided…?" Rina asked him. "I thought the only sentences we could receive were execution and exile."
Yamamoto ignored her comment.
"Your probation will start now. You will not come to work, your spiritual powers will be sealed, and your zanpakutous will be taken away from you. You will be under constant house arrest and will be monitored daily."
The three blinked at him with confused amazement.
"So basically, you don't want us to come to work for two years?" Tori asked him. A smile tugged at the three girls' lips. It was like a dream come true.
"Yes."
Mika and Rina fought hard to hide their wide smiles from that news. Probation wasn't a punishment at all!
They were all dismissed from his office shortly. The three captains escorted the girls out and back into their lavish house. Once inside, level 3 and 4 barriers were put up around their home as they received bands on their arms to restrict any spiritual powers.
"Aw man, two years of staying in here. Best thing that could ever happen to us!" Tori beamed proudly at their accomplishment. "But you guys are screwed for two years…" Tori looked at the three captains.
"I doubt it…" All three captains muttered under their breath.
"Oh my god I got it off!" Rina shrieked out suddenly. She had successfully ripped off the constrictive badge around her arm and now had to feel the strange sensation of blood flowing into her once blue arm. "Here." She tossed it over to Byakuya who caught it. "Oh yeah, who's gonna be my replacement?" She asked him.
"Rina, there hasn't been a replacement for me since EVER!" Renji pointed out to her.
"Then what the hell was I doing?" She asked him with a doubtful look.
"We're not sure…" Renji and Byakuya exchanged glances.
"Shiro-chan." Tori called out to him. "Do you think we can go see Gin's and Tousen's execution… if it actually occurs…?" She asked him.
"…I'll make something happen…"
--
[A week later]
--
"You guys are alive!!" Rukia and Hinamori squealed as they death hugged Rina, Mika, and Tori as they arrived at the execution. They exchanged awkward glances as it was an ironic thing to say especially at where they had just arrived.
"Sorry to burst your bubble but they have to stay with us." Renji told the two as he and Hitsugaya and Byakuya pulled the three girls back to their sides.
"It's okay, we'll just watch with you guys." Rukia decided. "ICHIGO!!" She shouted over to him. He appeared immediately confused and slightly scared.
"Yeah?"
"Ichigo, we're really sorry about destroying your division." Mika apologized suddenly.
"Ah it's in the past… it's not like mine was the only one destroyed." Ichigo assured them waving the problem away.
"Good… I didn't feel that sorry for you…" Mika muttered silently to herself.
"Ah, they're bringing out Ichimaru and Tousen." Hinamori pointed out.
Both prisoners were brought out with many guards surrounding them. They were brought out to an elevated platform where they sat down on their knees and waited for the executioner.
"Whose gonna do it?" Rina asked Byakuya.
"Yamamoto-soutaichou."
Just as Byakuya said his name, he walked out onto the platform; everyone stopped talking and watched in silence. He drew out his sword and pointed it at the two former captains. Many people averted their eyes for the few seconds it took for Yamamoto to do his job.
"Is it over?" Rukia asked out loud.
"It's over." Ichigo told her.
"Oh god…" Rangiku gasped from her location. Rukia and Ichigo looked to the left and realized that she had been standing silently by them the whole time.
On the platforms were the bloodied bodies of the two former captains. Something was odd about the sight though.
"…Did Gin just move…?" Mika wondered out loud as she peered closer. He twitched again and so did Tousen.
"…They're still alive?" Tori gasped in shock.
"Yama-jii failed?" Ichigo asked out loud.
"You know what that means…" Hinamori started off.
"They're VAMPIRES!!" The girls shrieked out in shock.
"No they're not!" The men whacked the girls on the back of the head. "Look!!"
"They're not SPARKLY!" They gasped in unison and almost burst out laughing.
"Oh thank god…" Rangiku sighed in relief. "They're not sparkly d--ch-bags."
Everyone looked at the twitchy two and came to the conclusion that they could not be vampires because they were not sparkly.
"…I can't believe we used Twilight logic to solve that…" Tori slapped her head in disappointment.
"I'm more amazed to learn at how many of us actually watched that 'awesome' movie…" Mika groaned in disappointment at her past actions.
"…Wait if they're alive… then what does that mean?" Hinamori asked them.
"So that's what soutaichou did…" The captains figured it out quickly.
"What?"
"Rukia, remember when Byakuya almost killed me?" Ichigo asked her.
"Which time?" She asked him as she recalled the 14 times he had tried to kill him.
"…the FIRST and ONLY time." Ichigo tried to defend himself.
"You mean when your powers went bye-bye?" Tori spoke up.
"…Yes and how do you know that…?" He asked her suspiciously.
"Everyone knows about that, it's no big secret!" Tori laughed it off.
"Okay whatever, well that's what Yama-jii did to those guys. Their spiritual powers are gone so they can't be shinigami anymore." Ichigo explained to them.
"Ohh…"
"But they will die if they continue to bleed out like that…" Renji brought up.
"MEDIC!!"
--
[1 year later]
A year had passed since the so-called execution of Gin and Tousen. The two were stripped of their powers and were immediately imprisoned within the Maggot's Nest. They were locked up in separate cells and were meant to remain there forever – that was the plan. Occasionally Rangiku would visit Gin – it also proved as a good excuse to ditch work.
Back with the Three Musketeers, they were enjoying house arrest and were living like they hadn't before. Of course people would come by to check up on them every now and then. They didn't need to though because it was completely unnecessary. All they had to do was take one step in and they would know they were not evil masterminds like Aizen was. The one thing that had changed in their household was that there were small shrines in the main living room to pay respect to their dead families.
Seireitei had recognized its mistakes in the past (maybe not all of them…) about the three girls' families. There was an official apology and as a sign of respect, gravestones were set up for the three families where everyone could pay their respects. When their families were deemed as traitors, their ranking had fallen deeply. Now with their charges lifted, they were now considered as a middle-class noble family.
"…We're considered nobility…?" Rina questioned Byakuya as he brought her the news. He nodded. Rina looked back to see Tori and Mika jumping on their jumbo trampoline they had set up in the middle of the room. She looked back at Byakuya. "You sure…?"
"No."
"Thought so."
"Rina, if you're considered noble then!!" Rangiku blurted out somewhere from her hiding spot. She pulled Byakuya closer to Rina. "You guys can get married with no problems!!" She announced. Both Rina and Byakuya exchanged glances.
"Where the f-ck did you come from!?" They both asked her.
"Everyone I have an announcement to make!" Nariko walked out stealing all the attention. "I've decided that I want to become a shinigami!"
"Yay!!!" Mika and Tori cheered as they threw marshmallows up into the air, creating an even larger mess than they already had.
"But Nariko, that means we'll have to teach you the basics to get by." Rina told her.
"I know that. That's why I want you guys to teach me!" She beamed up at them.
Rina, Mika and Tori exchanged glances and nodded.
"Alright then." Rina nodded at her niece. "Tori will teach you math, Mika will teach you history, and I will teach you medicine."
"What about me?" Rangiku asked them.
"You can teach her about foods!" Mika declared.
Nariko stared at them.
"Aren't those the stuff you guys suck at the most?" She asked them doubtfully.
"Nonsense!"
"Let's get started right away!"
--
"Remember this Nariko, 2 plus 2 equals dead fish. You got it?" Tori asked Nariko. Nariko stared at her mentor questionably but wrote it down. She stared at it and wondered if that was actually right. "I guess we can move on to eye math now." Tori decided.
"Eye math…?" Nariko questioned her.
-
"Napoleon Bonaparte was born in 1821 and died in 1769." Mika read out to Nariko. Nariko immediately doubted this lesson would go well. "He was a French dwarf that dreamed of conquering the world; well he almost managed to, but he was famous in the end! In fact, the movie Napoleon Dynamite was based on his life story. And also, because he was so successful, they named the flavour of ice cream – Neapolitan, after him!"
"…Are you sure about that Mika?" Nariko asked her doubtfully.
"Absolutely positively!" Mika gave her the thumbs up sign.
"So that's why it's called Neapolitan…" Rangiku and Hisagi realized from tuning into Mika's history class.
-
"Okay these are laxatives. Do not take them unless you are really constipated. But you CAN use them on people you don't like. For example, when Ukitake-taichou told me that I had to stay overtime to finish some overdue paperwork I lost, I put some laxatives into his tea and I didn't have to do it anymore! See how it can benefit you in different ways?" Rina smirked evilly.
Nariko just stared at her crazy aunt.
"This is something else you can give to people you don't like." Rina pulled out a bottle of Buckley's cough medicine. "It tastes like crap but it does get rid of the cough."
"… Rina, how come you're teaching me of medicines that you can use to screw people over with?"
"Because it's good if you need to escape out of a sticky situation. But don't overdo it though! Your life might be endangered if you do." Rina warned her remembering a time when she overdid it. "Oh and these won't work on Unohana, Zaraki, or Kurotsuchi. Just don't make them mad."
[A/N: DON'T DO THIS!!]
-
"… Rangiku-san…" Nariko spoke up looking at the burnt food before them. "How did you manage to burn rice…? It was in a rice cooker!"
"…It must be a defective rice cooker." Rangiku concluded. "Whatever you can make it in a pot too!"
"…What have I gotten myself into?" Nariko wondered out loud.
[Probation over!]
"Hey, hey did you hear?" Mika asked Tori after successfully escaping 9th Division.
"What?" Tori asked after pushing all the sheets of paperwork off her table.
"TORI!" Hitsugaya yelled at her.
"That's what you get for dragging me back to work!"
"God dammit woman…" He grumbled as he resumed his work.
"Division 3's new captain!" Mika brought up with a huge smile. "Guess who it is!"
"New captain?" Tori asked bewildered. "Shiro-chan how come you didn't tell me about this?" She asked him pouting.
"…I thought you didn't give a damn about work-related stuff." He jeered at her.
"Who is it?" Tori turned back to Mika after ignoring his comment.
"Come see for yourself!" Mika grinned.
--
"Hya!!"
"That's the spirit!!" Ukitake cheered on Rina as she and Byakuya sparred tenaciously. Both Ukitake and Kyouraku were sitting on the rooftops of Division 6, drinking tea and enjoying the scene down below. "Come on Tsukiyomi, you can do better than that!" He yelled down at her.
"Ah, thank god she's back as Division 6's lieutenant. Little Byakuya was getting all moody again without her working by his side." Kyouraku commented.
"How can you tell?" Ikkaku asked them. He was up on the rooftops with the two captains as well. "He looks just as he has been since… forever…" He commented.
"Ah Madarame-san, when you've been working with Byakuya for as long as we have, you can tell when he's feeling down or not." Ukitake explained to him. "But he has changed a lot since he was little."
"Yeah, he was such an arse." Kyouraku laughed.
"Such a baby back then." Ukitake joined in.
"…That's bullsh-t…" Ikkaku commented.
"It's true. Look at Tsukiyomi down there. She's obviously getting pissed at him right?" Ukitake pointed down at Rina clearly getting pissed off by Byakuya's laid-back attitude to her every attack. "That's what Byakuya was like when he was little."
Ikkaku still didn't believe them.
"You did a good job in training Tsukiyomi, Madarame." Kyouraku complimented him.
"Yeah… well if I didn't then…" Ikkaku trailed off as he remembered Rina's threat to him about exposing the truth of his Bankai. "So glad she didn't…"
"Ah, Kurai, Shinboku, good timing!" Kyouraku was pleased with their amazing entrance to Division 6. "Come join us and enjoy the show." He pointed down to the fighting couple.
"Where'd he go?" Mika asked Ukitake.
"Who?"
"Y'know. Newbie captain."
"He was here a moment ago…" Ukitake looked around.
"Hey Rina!" Tori shouted out to her down below.
"What!?" She shouted back while defending herself with her Guan Dao-form zanpakutou.
"3rd Division Captain is MIA, where'd he go?" She asked her. Rina glanced over at them to see the newly appointed captain missing.
"Hell like I know!" She shouted back as she pushed Byakuya away from her. "Can we have a break now?" She whined to him out of breath. He sighed and sheathed his weapon as so did she. They jumped up on the rooftops where everyone else were. "Ah… Ikkaku's gone." Rina noticed.
"Was he the new captain?" Tori asked her.
"No."
"Sorry to disappear on you guys!"
"Kira's the new captain!?" Tori asked in wonder. "Congrats!"
"Uh thanks." Kira walked up to them in his new captain's haori.
"You'll do a good job Kira." Mika nodded to him with a smile.
"Thanks Mika. Oh Rina, I've got your manga stash." He raised a bag filled with manga inside. Instantly her face lit up.
"Jeez you guys never change." A voice groaned. Mika turned around to find Renji. He had realized that Mika was missing.
"Oh hey Ren-Ren…" Mika laughed nervously. "You found me!"
"Yeah come on let's head back." Renji grabbed her arm and dragged her away. "Oh and congrats Kira!" Renji congratulated his long-time friend.
"Bye Kurai!" Kyouraku waved to her.
"So how's your captaincy going?" Rina asked Kira.
"Well, not much has changed really; since I was practically acting as captain for all those years after all." He pointed out.
"Then all you have to get used to is our ultra boring meetings." Kyouraku told Kira.
"They are ultra boring." Tori agreed with Kyouraku. "I know because me and Mika spy on them."
"Great…" Kira groaned. "Oh Rina I heard this from Rangiku-san."
"What?" Rina asked him as she took a sip of water.
"She said that you were pregnant."
Rina spit out the water and started to choke horribly.
"WHAT!?" She shrieked out at him after she recovered. "Where'd she get that from!?"
"It's not true after all." Kira mumbled.
"Of course it's not true. Did you see the murderous intent in that guy's eyes?" She pointed at Byakuya. "What kind of person would attack his unborn child?"
"Crazy, messed-up, angry, psycho-killer guys." Tori answered her rhetorical question.
"Oh god, Rangiku…" Rina grumbled out her name.
"But we can expect one sometime soon right?" Ukitake asked her.
"HAH!?"
"I mean you guys can get married now since that social barrier is basically terminated. There won't be many problems with you entering his family." He pointed out.
"… Just because my family is considered 'noble' on paper, doesn't mean the old prunes in his family approve of me." She told him.
"Yeah, I mean do we look like we're in a noble family?" Tori asked him.
"No."
"Exactly."
"And how come I'm always the one getting attacked with pregnancy rumours?" Rina asked them remembering the time when Yachiru had asked Byakuya what 'pregnant' meant.
"Ask Rangiku, she's spreading them all." Kira told her. Rina's face paled.
"I'm gonna kill Rangiku so I'm leaving for today. Is that alright?" She asked Byakuya.
"Go for it."
"Hah…" Tori sighed. Now it was her and a bunch of lame-o captains.
"Tori." She looked up to see Hitsugaya standing behind her, peering down at her.
"Crap…" She muttered as she stood up to follow him back. "Oh my god." She gasped suddenly. All captains turned to them to see what was so amazing. "Am I taller than you?!" She gasped. Hitsugaya's eyes widened.
"No Tori, you're just standing on the peak of the roof and he's standing on the lower part…" Kyouraku burst her bubble of hope and joy.
Hitsugaya stifled a laugh but it didn't work for Tori.
"SHUT UP!!!" She yelled at him and started to chase at him.
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!" He tried to justify himself.
"OWWWWWWW, MIKAAAAAA!!" Renji's loud voice resonated throughout Seireitei. "NOT FRIGGIN TORTURE TAG AGAIN!!!!"
"Wow… they really haven't changed at all." Ukitake commented from the screams he was hearing from all directions.
"RINA I'M SORRY!!" They heard Rangiku's shrieks of fear.
"Yup, they really haven't changed at all." Kyouraku agreed.
"Thank god they didn't, otherwise life would be real boring." Ukitake nodded.
Another one of Rangiku's shrieks rang out followed by a large crashing sound.
"You might wanna go grab your girlfriend, or else we're going to lose one of our shinigami." Ukitake told Byakuya. Instantly he left to restrain Rina.
"Hah…" The three captains sighed peacefully as they listened to the terrifying screams and howls caused by the Three Musketeers.
"Still think those guys are still "Just Friends" with those girls?" Kyouraku asked Ukitake and Kira.
"Not a chance."
I 've probably pissed off Twilight fans ... sorry ... oh and Mika's history lesson is obviously not true, so don't write that on a test or w/e and do NOT, NOT ever use medicine against people you hate.
Unfortunately... this is the end of my Just Friends 'trilogy' ... I've hoped all you readers have enjoyed it and seriously, thank you to you all for reading it and reviewing. I still have that poll up on my profile so go vote if you already haven't!
Until my next series (if I get to it...)
--HotarunoYami