Disclaimer: see previous chapters. Lyrics: Eden- Sarah Brightman (gorgeous!), Teardrops on my Guitar- Taylor Swift and You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift is mentioned.

(A/N: Thanks for the reviews, alerts, and faves! Congrats to Monserat for being my 500threview!)

Chapter 23: Imperfect

Did you ever think of me,

As your best friend?

Did I ever think of you?

I'm not complaining

Bella's apartment

(Bella's POV)

My phone was going off, waking me from a rather blissful sleep. Do you know how loud a phone is when it's vibrating against a hard surface, in this case my bed's side table? It's insane.

My insides leapt to my throat at the sudden sound and I pulled my pillow over my head, drowning out the noise. I'd had a long and eventful day and all I wanted to do was sleep so I could travel into a world where I was still with Jacob and someone wasn't in the way.

That was horrible. But no lies right?

The phone began buzzing again. Someone really wanted to speak with me. I was lying on my stomach and pushed the pillow aside to check the clock. It was almost 3 in the morning. "Seriously?" My voice was scratchy from sleep. The phone would not stop ringing! I raised my weight on my elbows and rolled my eyes. I grabbed the phone and took a peek at the inappropriately bright screen. 'Autumn' was calling. I answered, resting on my side "Autumn? Is everything okay?"

"Bella! Everything's fine." A short silence followed before she continued. "I woke you up didn't I?" Relieved, I snorted, rubbing my hand over my face tiredly. "Now that was a stupid question; of course I did. I'm sorry. Embry just got back from his patrol. He's out like a light," she chuckled. "We talked about you."

"Who else, right?" I said angrily.

She sighed. "I owe you a thousand apologies, Bella."

"Autumn…"

"I should have told you Jake was seeing Chimera." I cringed, taking in a sharp intake of breath. "When we saw you in New York, I should have, but I didn't think you'd come back, at least not long enough to be fully entwined in his life again. I know it's a lousy excuse…I-I should have told you when I saw you here. God…I don't even know how to explain why I didn't. Things have been all over the place since your return. I couldn't think properly. We all can't. Leah knew and Embry…we kept quiet because we were trying to promote a 'no drama' policy."

"Autumn, it's no one's fault but mine. It's between Jacob and me."

"I don't even know if keeping silent made things worse or…I don't know if your return is a good thing. I'm glad your back but, Bella, I don't even know where to began," she laughed darkly. "I always know what to say, but this whole situation is too much to process."

"Wait. Is it something you think Jacob and I should discuss?"

"Yes, but…"

"Autumn," I silenced her again. "Then let him tell me. Let us talk. This is for me and him to sort out." Another silence passed. I heard her scoot a chair back, a rush of wind, and a glass door sliding open followed by the rustle of sheets, I'm assuming. "Autumn, were you up all night…outside?" I sat up, clutching the phone tight to my ear.

"Yeah," she said. "When I think, I think a lot. I called to say I'm sorry, even if you think I shouldn't apologize, I'm doing so because I feel I should. I made the mistake of leading you to Chimera. I swear, I thought you knew! But then again, I thought you didn't, so I was stuck. It made me come off as a bit of an idiot. I lead you right into that. I expected Jake would have been there, not Chimera. I found out from Embry when it was already too late that Chimera switched shifts that day. She was supposed to work during the day, but instead she ended up being scheduled for the evening. I wanted it to be you and Jacob only…together. I'm so sorry." She'd rapidly explained herself. She sounded worn out, like she was getting upset.

"Autumn," I said, evening my voice out. "People make mistakes, you know?" I ran my fingers nervously through my tangled locks. "There's nothing you or I, or anyone, can do to change the past. There's no such thing as time travel; that exists solely in fictional stories…even if this world does have its fair share of vampires and werewolves," I chuckled. "Nobody's perfect. We were made to be imperfect, flawed creatures." I realized I wasn't referring to myself only, but also to the population as a whole, myself included…Jacob and Me, Edward and me, my weekend with Chimera, Autumn keeping her mouth shut about Chimera…mistakes, interactions, and moments that bound each of us together. "It's all about acting in the present to make up for the past. There's no turning back." I thought about how I'd chosen to form a friendship with Edward. And now, how I was trying to reconnect with Jacob and my friends here…even my father, although I'd seen him more than the others.

Autumn laughed softly. "When did you get so articulate and preacher-like? You didn't stutter once!"

I snickered. "College."

"Hey, how about tomorrow, you and I hang out, just the two of us. Embry would like to see you. Maybe we can stop by Charlie's too?"

I nodded. "I'd love to. I haven't seen my dad since I moved here." I corrected myself before she could say something. "And before you go on about how I saw him and not you, he's the one who talked to the woman about the 'place of work' for us. I couldn't be a coward when it came to him." Admitting I had been wrong to not call was a pretty gutsy thing to.

Autumn didn't probe for more conversation. One of the things I loved about her. "I'll pick you up around lunch time?"

"Sure. Sounds good." Good news: my best friend and I were getting back on track. I knew, no matter what, she'd always stand by me. "Autumn?" I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Yeah? I'm here." She'd caught onto my change in tone.

"Thank you." I twiddled with a loose thread on my quilt. "I know I say that to you all the time, but I still want to thank you for all that you've done for me and the others…for being tough. And…" I was overwhelmed for a moment. I needed to talk with someone within the family, or the tribe to say, or I'd come apart. There was silence on the other line; Autumn was always the faithful listener. She was patiently waiting for me.

But, my silence had gone on for too long. "Bella, are you alright?" Her concern was discernible. "Silly question, of course you're not. You can talk to me, even if it's early in the morning." I heard a bed creak as she likely sat down. "I'm a hybrid; I don't need much sleep. Although if you want to go back to sleep…"

"I'm fine," I said, tersely. "I mean, as far as sleeping goes."

"Talk to me, Bella. I know you've got a lot on your mind." Damn right. "It's never a good thing to keep thoughts inside like that; you'd…fall apart." That's precisely what happened when Edward left and, at the time, before I started hanging around Jacob, I had no one to turn to.

Therapy session with Autumn, take number 600. "I'm really…torn."

"That's reasonable. Bella, I had no idea you were friends with Chimera. I can't even cover…Embry and Jake had a mind chat, so…"

"I want him back." There I'd said it. Out loud.

"That's…" she sighed deeply. "That may be a problem."

"I know," I whined. "We…he came over today."

"So I heard. Things were good?"

I shrugged. "Somewhat."

"Is this part of your plan to win him back?"

"Maybe," I drawled. "First it was seeing him again, and reassuring him I wasn't leaving again, and then it was having fun with him, and talking about much needed issues…"

"And what's next?" She said curiously. She wanted in on this.

I pondered. "I kind of figure it out as I go. I'll probably see him again, soon, and I'll talk to him daily. Hopefully, somehow I can receive an invite to the Reservation."

She sniggered. "You're evil."

"It's worth a try. But I don't want to…I don't even know how to put it in words."

"Hurt Chimera?" There she goes again: Autumn taking the words from my mouth I can't unscramble. It's like her talented perceptive skills could work over the phone. Autumn will never cease to intrigue me, especially since her existence alone defies all mythical science laws.

"Exactly," I whispered.

"Bella, not to give you ideas, but…" I heard a hint of mischief in her voice. "You can be friends with her and grow close to him at the same time. You can spend time with both of them, but sooner or later you're going to have to get your hands dirty. What I'm saying is you might have to be a bit of a bitch."

I rested my forehead against my hand. "I don't want it to have to come to that. I really do like her, even if I'm in love with him."

"Does he know that?"

My heart skipped a bit. "Know what?"

"Don't play coy with me, Bella. Does he know you're still in love with him?"

"I don't know. I told him I had feelings for him."

"I give you points for doing that. So you did then?" I stared blankly at my wall. "Bella, you didn't tell him you're in love with him, did you?" Her voice lost its eagerness.

I shivered, and choked back a sob. "No. I'm too scared, too worried, too caring, and too unsure. I don't even know how he feels about me! He said he wants to be friends and he's attracted to me…"

"Have patience with him, Bella."

I rolled my eyes. "Not me," I said, annoyed for a second before sadness took over again. "I don't want to ruin this. I saw him for the first time in years two days ago."

"Then don't rush things."

I sighed. "What happens happens, right?"

"Yes. He might surprise you, Bella. You never know."

"Jake's all about surprises." He was. He always did things that were unexpected. How could I know what would occur? I didn't have Alice's gift, and even then she can't predict everything. Practice optimism, right? Except, such a thing never lasts long with me. It all came back to fate.

I realized at that second, that I honestly had no idea what would happen.

Early-Mid November

It was strange seeing Leah at the shop every day. She finally dragged her fiancé along with her- a tall guy from another Reservation with long hair, and skin a shade darker than her own. She always looked at me peculiarly, like she itched to say something important, but she never did.

So, imagine my surprise when Leah actually spoke up and said something to me that wasn't related to preparation for her wedding. Well, it was related, but I'd never expected such a personal request.

I was sitting on my balcony, eating my lunch. It was a gorgeous day, one of the few sunny day Forks had. Kyle and Ashley had taken a lunch break to downtown Port Angeles to check out a new Italian Restaurant. Angela was at the front desk, counting money. It'd been a slow day, so only one of us was required to remain downstairs. I'd done all of today's baking and was relaxing before we had to 'crash' a couples anniversary party tonight and serve them our goodies.

I hadn't seen Jacob since he'd visited me. I knew he had school and work, but…

I really shouldn't think too much into it. I'd seen him on Saturday and it was only the middle of the week. He did call and I called him, one time for each, but it wasn't the same as seeing him. I remember pinching myself the first time we spoke over the phone after my return, letting my mind know it really was his voice I was listening to and not an imposter.

I lounged in a chair, feet propped up on the railing, sunglasses on, clothed in jeans and a tank top. My shoulders were bare so I could get some sun, which was a waste of time since I couldn't tan, but nonetheless, the sun felt good. Like Jacob's skin.

I hastily slurped the rest of my smoothie (Kyle made killer smoothies) and opened a book in my lap, urging the thoughts of his touch erupting in my mind to go away. The door slid open and Leah emerged with a shirt tied up revealing her midriff, and short, ripped jean shorts. Her hair was in a ponytail, and strands stuck out of the band. I leaned forward rapidly and moved my sunglasses to the top of my head, brushing the hair around my face back, imitating a headband. "Leah, hey."

She glanced in front of her, mouthing a 'Wow' at the view my balcony offered; the same view through my window. She shook her head and turned to me. "Hey," she said, casually. "Do you mind…?" She pointed to the chair beside me. I dropped my feet to ground and nodded. My chair screeched as I moved it to the side to give her more space. She sat stiffly across the table from me. I watched her movements anxiously.

"I've been meaning to talk to you," she said, crossing her hands in her lap.

"Oh…about?"

"A lot of things, but mainly about the way Brooke, Seth, and I acted when we saw you in New York City, years ago."

I gaped at her, awed. I'd almost forgotten that. "I deserved it." I picked at one of my nails, nervously.

"At the time," she sneered. "But…" She softened. "It was before we knew the real reason why you left. We never made an effort to call you to say something after we found out." She smiled sadly. "I'm a bitch, Bella…in more ways than one." She rolled her eyes. "But that was wrong of me."

A familiar stirring in my chest resurfaced as I remembered how they'd treated me and how upset I'd been. I stared out into the woods, thinking, trying not to give those past feelings away.

Leah startled me. "What you did was really brave, Bella." I scrutinized her. Her voice was sincere. "And I admire you for taking such measures to keep us safe…all of us, even the Cullen's." Her last few words were a bit forced. She smirked. "Hell, if you'd died, you'd be a martyr," she joked.

I arched an eyebrow. "Did your Alpha convince you to do this?"

She laughed loudly. "He brought it up, but it was my decision to come see you. Seth and Brooke would have tagged along, but he's in school and she's working a double shift. Believe me, Brooke bitched to her boss over the phone about not being able to go, but he insisted. Seth had a test that his grade depended on."

I smiled. A brief pause passed between us. "So, what are you trying to say?" Where was she going with this?

She rolled her eyes. "We owe you an apology. I…" She was stumbling over her words. "I'm sorry for the way we treated you. The stuff I said to you…" She shook her head, like she was angry with herself. "I said we were never friends and I told you to stay out of our lives." Her eyes were distraught.

I pointed accusingly at her. "Now that was upsetting to hear from you. It made me question if you truly felt sympathetic towards me when you said 'we're more alike than you think.'" Her eyes flashed to mine; a sense of recognition was in her face, like something she really hadn't thought much into was now into the forefront of her mind.

She spoke, features returning normal. "I was angry with you for hurting Jacob, my family…me." She motioned to herself, speaking in a pained whisper. "Bella you might need me more than you think as things…unfold." I turned abruptly to her, questioning her, confused…wondering. "As you know, Jake's with someone."

I shook my head trying to rearrange my thoughts after she'd said I might need her. I figured I wouldn't get anything else from her- she had that look on her face, a scowl that shut her off from me. "I was stupid to think he wouldn't be with anyone, Leah. I was too expectant. Too selfish. Why should he live in misery because I left him? He's so full of life," I said, leaning forward in my chair, voice affectionate. "Why would he let me in again after I rejected him so harshly for those months when I was with Edward and then when I'd left him for years? I guess I was hoping he'd come for me, that we'd be together again. But, I was stupid." I bit back a lash of anger directed towards myself, again, inspecting my hands in my lap. I just said that to Leah? I was uneasy, but I felt like I could rely on her.

Leah hesitated. "Did you ever see someone else?"

I shrugged and wrapped my arms around my knees, staring at nothing in particular in the vast expanse of woodland in front of me. I nodded. "For a while, actually, but I couldn't fall in love with him. I tried, but it never happened."

She scoffed. I glared at her. "Sorry." She threw her hands up "I'm sorry, really. You got me to say sorry to you, Bella. Apologizing really isn't my thing, at least not an apology this genuine." As another pause inched its way into the discussion, I flicked a leaf off the table. Say something, Leah, because I have no clue what to say. She did. "I also said you weren't a part of the family anymore," she lowered her voice, sadness and repulsion present in her words. Eric…did this?

But, maybe he wasn't what renewed her. Maybe it was her...all Leah. I had to keep reminding myself that nearly four years had passed since I'd seen them all. That would mean the old pack members were all in their twenties. No longer kids…not even teenagers. They'd grown up.

Like me. Hopefully. I felt like I wasn't the same girl from before. Maybe I should take a tip from Leah and Jacob and speak my mind more and not stray in the shadows and refuse to stand up for myself. I had defended myself though, to Jacob. I told him why I came back and why I left. I had to prove I wasn't weak, or selfish.

How could I be entirely selfish if I'd ran off, lived alone, cut myself off from everyone I loved to protect them and not place them in the path of death and destruction? I could have stayed because I didn't want to lose Jacob or my newly discovered family on the Reservation, but I didn't. That had been the start; the major step in growing up. Or maybe it started when I left my wedding to Edward? I'd never know. But what I was doing was selfish- wanting Jacob back in my life, and trying to earn my spot in this extended family again. But, was it completely selfish if I didn't want Chimera to get hurt? I could say 'fuck it' and manipulate them into breaking up, but I wasn't going to. Because I didn't want anyone to get hurt. "Leah," I filled the silence that had dragged on for too long while I'd thought. "I'm not though. You were right. I can't be considered a part of this family, not right now."

"You can be you know." Her eyes flickered to my wrist. Oh. I instantly withdrew my hand from its position on the table and crossed my arms, tucking the hand into the crevice formed. "Bella, did you wear that bracelet when you saw him for the first time?"

"Yeah." I nibbled on my lower lip. I focused on Leah's nose; I was unable to meet her piercing eyes. "He must have not noticed. I was wearing a jacket. And when we were in my kitchen together I didn't wear it because I didn't want to lose it." I finally met her now bewildered eyes. "I don't wear it while I bake." My last words were hushed and my eyes lowered to the wooden table. "It's too precious to me."

"What about the other bracelet? The one he gave you for Christmas?" She probed. Thattook me aback. I bristled, a mixture of anger, regret, and sadness intermingling in my features. "Bella he spent weeks making that for you. I know why you don't wear it now, but don't you see how much it means to him? Did you ever wear it?"

"Why are you asking me this?" My voice shook. Was she trying to break me? My last large wave of tears had been shed the night I found out Chimera and Jacob were a couple.

"It's not…I want to know. It was random, honest. That shit decided to pop in my head," she said, eyes never leaving mine, no sign of a smile- sincerity through and through.

I didn't have an answer. Not one I could describe properly. I finally pieced some words together. "It's too intimate. Emotionally, it was a burden to wear. The inscription he made about love and destiny, about the two of us…too much." My lips quivered. I would not allow myself to crumble.

"Do you still have it?"

"Of course," I said simply.

I didn't know what she was thinking. Leah Clearwater had the best poker face. "Bella," she said, fingers drumming on the table, speculating, eyes darting to the window, forest, and back to mine. "I want you to be a part of my wedding."

I almost laughed, but settled for taking a deep breath instead. "I kind of am…"

"I don't mean the catering shit," she snarled, causing me to jump slightly. She placed her head in her hands and rubbed her temples, taking a few deep breaths before clasping her hands and looking at me again. "I want you to be a bridesmaid."

Her words took me of guard. I couldn't take them in.

I finally soaked in what she'd said. Leah Clearwater was asking me, a girl she couldn't stand at first, the 'leech lover,' to her wedding. Her wedding. My eyes widened. "Leah," I gasped.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic. I'm serious. Take it as me giving you more of a chance to prove yourself…I don't know. Take it as an opportunity to spend time with the girls and me, like before."

"I-I…"

She let out an aggravated sigh. "This is me trying to encourage you to forgive me for what I said. Brooke wanted it too. Emily was excited, Autumn was grateful…"

My legs bumped the table. "You talked to them about me?" I leaned back and stared at her. "I don't know what to say."

She stomped her foot. "Fine. I want you to be there, even if they do too. I want you to be by my side when I give myself to Eric."

My mouth dropped. "Leah…"

"I didn't imprint on him." Her eyes bore into mine. My mouth closed shut. "And I'm glad. I hate that shit." She shook her head vigorously, frowning, lips curled with a fury. That was the old Leah coming to the surface…the real Leah. She'd moved on, but she still harbored feelings for Sam. But apparently they were getting along.

"But you like Brooke and you came to terms with Sam and Emily…"

"I like them as people, Bella. I accepted Sam and Emily because I had no choice and I loved them both. Imprinting…you can't reverse it or get rid of it; at least, I haven't heard any cases of that happening in our tribe's history." A sickening ball of dread coiled in my stomach and moved excruciatingly slow to my chest. Shake it off, Bella, ignore it.

"Yeah I will."

Her head snapped to me. "Huh?"

I grinned. "I'll be a bridesmaid. I'm going to have to face all of you eventually, so that's a start."

Leah smiled, really smiled, but there was sadness behind it and the way she looked at me. Her eyes were clouded. "Good." She stood up and headed to the door. "The color's red."

I angled my head towards her. "And let me guess, your dress is black?" I teased.

Her eyes were light with laughter. "It's not a funeral Bella, although the guys already harassed me about that, so you're kind of late."

I snapped my fingers, smiling. "Damn."

"My dress is Ivory. There is no way in hell I'm doing a completely traditional wedding." She grinned before sliding the door open.

"Wait." I clumsily got to my feet and caught her by her arm as she stepped inside. "Thank you for asking me to be at your wedding and apologizing. I appreciate it."

Her face split into a smirk. "All part of the plan for you to get Jacob back right?" I gaped at her, appalled. How could she think…? Oh, the nerve! She backed towards the door of my room and opened it. "Maybe I'm just helping you out…" She slammed the door shut before I could utter a word.

Whoa. Leah…Leah wanted me back with Jacob. The only phrase going through my mind was what the fuck?

The following day

I'd told Kyle, Angela, and Ashley immediately after I'd been invited to the wedding as an actual participator in it. For some reason that prompted Kyle to break out a celebratory bottle of champagne and we all got tipsy. Our brains were clear enough to not do anything irrational though.

So here I was, happier, feeling accomplished. I was smiling. I was going to be a part of the wedding! I would get to see everyone. Yeah, I was nervous, but I was happy I'd get a chance to bond with the girls, who didn't seem to hate me. The Queen Bitch herself apologized to me and asked me to her wedding; I think I was good to go.

That was the distressing part- not being accepted. I could hear the sarcastic, insulting remarks I'd possibly receive from the guys. "Wait and see, Bella, wait and see," I said to myself as I pushed open the kitchen door and emerged with a tray full of freshly baked cookies to display for the day. I almost dropped them to the floor as I faced the front door.

What the hell was she doing here?

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" Kyle beamed. He was hunched over the counter. "When is the last time I saw you?"

Chimera, dressed in a classy red scoop neck sweater and black dark-washed skinny jeans with boots, moved around the counter and hugged him after pulling away from Ashley.

Maybe I could quietly put the stuff in the display racks. Yeah, Bella, because she's not going to notice another body, even one as tiny as yours, within feet of her. Besides, I wasn't going to be a coward. I may have been thinking vengeful thoughts about her for days, but I did love her.

Maybe, oh I don't know, I could talk to her like a real adult. Mental slap entered in right here. We'll see, right?

I smiled brightly and approached the trio from behind the counter. Chimera was at the end now, between the two. I opened the windows and positioned the baked goods. I looked drab in Kyle's' ripped shirt with my jeans coated in flour.

"Bella," Chimera said cheerfully and ran to the front of the counter as I put the double chocolate chip fudge cookies in place. She grinned and drew me into a hug. I awkwardly returned the hug, balancing the tray in one hand, resisting the urge to bash her in the head with it. Ugh. I was PMSing. Right. That's why I was so pissed. "Hey," I chuckled. Ok, she always did have a something about her that made you like to be around her. This whole situation was screwing with my head.

"Guess who's back, back again," Angela recited an old Eminem song as she came down the stairs.

Kyle joined us as I closed the glass. "So, I never thought I'd see you again."

"Surprise," Chimera giggled and punched his ribs. "I was wondering if Bella would like to pick out a bridesmaid dress with me for the wedding." Oh, yeah, she'd be a part of that too.

Wait, what? I stiffened and accidently dropped the glass window shut. We're supposed to lower it slowly or it'd slam hard and loud, like it'd done now. I faced her, eyes wide.

"I could've made it for her," Kyle complained. "But my ass hasn't made anything red, and the wedding is around the corner."

Hmm…you know what…

I smiled brightly. "That's fine, Kyle. There's got to be somewhere with good dresses."

Chimera perked up. "Good! There's a little boutique in downtown Port Angeles, not far from here, obviously," she said, excited.

I smile weakly. "Let me get dressed."

"You're kidding me," I laughed, as I followed Chimera to Jake's Mustang. God, look at that thing. That's muscle. That is a good car. "He let you drive it?"

She threw her head back, cackling as she ducked into the driver's seat. My fingertips glided over the metal and lingered over the leather interior as I sat down and leaned my head back. "God," I moaned. "This car is fucking orgasmic. I thought Autumn had the best car!"

Chimera chuckled. "Jake tweaked the engine a bit. It fucking vibrates, it's nice."

New cars did this to people, especially ones with this much power…that belonged to Jacob.

She started it up, and a vibration rocketed through my lower half. The all too familiar 'race car sound' infiltrated my ears. Regular, compact cars didn't do this. Motorcycles did. Sports cars. She spun out and pulled her sunglasses on, shifting gears.

She pressed a button and the roof retracted. A convertible. The wind felt fantastic against my face and I rested my arm over the window. It was chilly, but after being cooped up in the kitchen all day, I could care less. My hair was still wet; I was giving new meaning to air dry. It felt freeing almost. Not like a motorcycle, but close enough.

I was sitting next to Chimera, the girl who was with Jacob, and I was having a good time.

"So," I shouted over the wind whipping around as she gracefully drove around every curve as we ventured downward. I faced her, pulling my sunglasses over my eyes. "How'd you convince him to let you drive it?"

She laughed. "I told him I was coming to see you and he suggested it."

I casted my head back, letting the wind brush against my throat and dip beneath the collar of my low cut sweater. "He let you handle one of his 'babies?'"

She grinned. "He said something about motorcycles being a safety hazard and you being prone to accidents."

"That's me, accident-extraordinaire. I trip over everything."

"That explains it."

I couldn't help but smile at her. Her dark, wavy hair was flowing around her, full lips in a smile painted with red lipstick. I felt a swell of gratitude, warmth and love that Jacob had told her to bring a car instead of a bike. He did care for my well being.

How could he not? Jacob was born caring and compassionate. It was his nature to be friendly, despite the occasional rage fits as a side effect of the wolf within.

It was an added bonus that the leather seats had his scent all over them- woodsy, piney, and clean.

I leaned my head against the seat and inhaled. This was likely the closest I'd get to him again so why not memorize the smell while I could? But he wouldn't deny a friend a hug, right? I wouldn't be able to hold him for too long; he'd pull away. Was he afraid of losing control? I respect that and I respect that he's with someone, despite me putting up a fight, not so obviously though.

As friends, we'd been affectionate, always. The only difference when we finally tested a relationship together was kissing, longer embraces, hands in intimate places, wandering fingers over things below the neck…and sex.

Sex. It didn't help that this car was built to be shown off and that it smelled like him. Shit. I hadn't had any sexual contact in four years, how the hell was I going to prevent myself from convincing him to touch me in a not-so-platonic way? I'd have to learn control. I'd had enough time to practice. In fact, I had years of holding back. I could have slept with Jeremy, but my conscious wouldn't allow me to. That was control.

We slowed to a shopping center and Chimera pulled into a parking space directly in front of the store. Drop-dead gorgeous homecoming and wedding gowns hung in the window.

The store was larger than it appeared on the outside. It actually went into another unmarked building beside it. Dresses of every color hung in racks everywhere I turned. The walls were painted in an eggshell white, along with a white carpeted floor, with dressing rooms in the back complete with three and five way mirrors on top of steps, elevated above ground. Chimera made a beeline to a red dress section in the back and engaged me in animated, easy going conversation as I followed. I'd never been into shopping, but these dresses were beautiful.

I was so short standing next to the model beside me. Long legs were totally unfair. Some of these items were for petite girls, right?

"The only rule is…" Chimera met my eyes. "You cannot look better than the bride."

I snickered, pulling out a dress to examine it, and shoving it back in with disgust. What was it, lace and nothing else? "Everyone knows that."

"Well…yeah. It's hilarious though," she continued, giddy, at least three dresses piled in her arms. "Carmen and Brooke are in a mini-battle with each other over which one of them will look the most glamorous. It's all good fun though," she chuckled and shook her head at a moment I'd obviously hadn't witnessed.

I was jealous of her as I watched her parade around. She was easily accepted into the pack the moment they met her, although I'm sure her brother had a say in that. The girls didn't seem to have a problem with her, not that I knew for sure; she had a body people paid money for…and she had Jacob. Did she know how lucky she was?

She continued to ramble on and I was absorbed in what she said. She discussed moments with the Pack and girls, her job, her boss hating her because she's too friendly to customers. Apparently she worked at a retail store. That was a huge step down from her previous employment, but it'd been her choice, and yet again, I respected her for that. She was enrolled in community college; she'd recently gotten her GED. She said something happened with her old boss, Ricardoshe called him, in Canada and that's why she ended up here. I followed her to the changing rooms in the back. I'd only selected two dresses-a halter piece and one with thin straps. Let's hope at least one looked decent. We'd been in here for over an hour and I'd chosen two. She'd chosen several.

That was the difference between being a shopper, someone with deep pockets and good taste, compared with someone who didn't desire a great amount of fancy clothes, even if they were uplifting to wear, but still wanted to look good despite it all.

I went to another stall. "Hey," Chimera called out. I stopped and faced her. "Why don't you try these on with me? It's always good to hear pointers and judge when you're not in separate rooms." I stared at her, unsure. With the girls, we had had no problems changing in front of each other. It was a girl thing. Even self-conscious me did. Of course, that had been when I'd returned to Forks years ago, only after I slept with Jacob.

Sex could make you feel like complete shit and you could wallow in your sea of guilt for making such a mistake, or, it could give you a burst of self-confidence and a sense of comfort in your own skin and make you do things you wouldn't normally do if you chose to remain celibate. The latter had been me.

I shouldn't be doing this. I should not be thinking about sex with Jacob when his girlfriend was in the same room as me. It was the car, I swear! The thing was, Chimera was comfortable in her skin and she had Jacob. How could I even…?

Suck it up, Bella.

I smiled and followed her into the dressing room. She shut the door behind me and skipped to the dresses hanging up. I sat down, carefully folding my dresses in my lap. "Now, you have to be honest about how I look in these dresses, alright?" She peered at me from the corner of her eyes.

She'd stripped down to her bra and stringy underwear. I tried not to stare, really. I took in her tan skin, full chest, curvy hips, and long legs. Chimera had high cheekbones. I had a heart-shaped face and round cheeks. I was competing with this? I'd seen her in less, but it made it worse thinking she'd expect me to change in this room with her and she'd tell me what she thinks. Judge me. Yeah, because pale, short and slender next too something like this was a compliment. The only thing I had going for me was a rounded bottom. My gay friend had said he'd 'hit that.'

She tried on dress after dress and she looked stunning in every one. Her dark hair, cherry red lips and rosy cheeks completed the whole look. Yet, she always found something in every one she didn't like and I couldn't understand it. She'd say it made her stomach poke out or made her breasts too big, made her legs look out of proportion. Miniscule things.

I realized that Chimera, when I saw nothing physically wrong with her, didn't think she was that attractive as her confidence made her out to be.

I leisurely stepped out of my clothes and slipped on my first dress, a red, flowing one with straps weaved with a rope like fabric. My eyes were everywhere but her face as I glanced in the mirror, standing beside her. What had Autumn said when we'd had lunch together a couple of days ago? Something about 'fake confidence'?

"Chimera, you think your beautiful right?" I'd said that? Word vomit.

Chimera stared at me, clothed in her final dress. It was a short, puffy skirted gown with a sweetheart neckline showing off her bare, sun-kissed shoulders. "Yeah, I do. I think every girl should find something she likes about herself and not pay heed to anything else, although…" She pulled her hair behind so it fell over her shoulder. "It's hard to see yourself as beautiful when you're trying on one skimpy dress after another."

"But do you think you're perfect?" Our eyes met in the mirror.

"No, not even close." She was…sad.

"On the outside I mean. I know you have a screwed up past."

She shook her head. "Bella, there's a difference between thinking you're beautiful and thinking you're perfect."

More word vomit found its way to my voice box. "Jacob. He's perfect. I mean he's flawed on the inside, we all are, but physically he's a masterpiece," I swallowed and turned away. Why had I said that? I felt her eyes blazing into the side of my head. I bravely faced her and chuckled. "Look at him…look at the guys!"

She shook her head, laughing. "He's not. Yes he has a great body, all of them do, but," a light sparkled in her eyes as she spoke and one of her true, alluring smiles followed. "His lips…the top one is fuller than the bottom."

"That's an imperfection?" I let out a breathless laugh, relieved I hadn't turned this into a fight because of my slip.

She giggled. "Yes! It doesn't affect his techniques, but perfection is defined as…a fuller bottom lip, heart shaped, thinner than his. That was what the old artists and what not believe…that concept of ideal perfection. But perfection doesn't exist. A person is not physically perfect. But you can argue with those old farts if you want," she snorted. I cupped my mouth, grinning. "And he's tall, obviously, abnormally tall. He should be skinner, or chubby for his height if we're talking science here..."

"Are you complaining?" I playfully accused her.

"Hell no!" She shouted gleefully. "I'm just trying to make a point here."

"That no one is physically or emotionally perfect?"

"Yes. Jacob's beautiful, but…everyone's different. Jake and the guys have bodies' men spend a year or more working on, without the use of steroids, that they developed within, at most, three months, and that is abnormal."

"Werewolves."

"Exactly. Everyone has a flaw, even if it's unnoticeable." She turned to the mirror. "Standing here and looking in the mirror every day I can pinpoint my flaws, even if Ionly see them. Exploring what's inside, my heart, my mind, that's a whole lot of imperfect right there." She paused for a moment. "Now, people can be together and thus create perfection in relationships. Someone can complete someone…and thus they feel perfect. But then again, being perfect together is imperfect, unusual, if any of that makes any sense to you." It did. That's how I felt around Jacob.

My lips curved upward and I burst out laughing. "How in the world did we get into this conversation?"

"I have no idea," she said, pressing her forehead against mine. How could I not get along with her? This was going to kill me. Could I really do this? Could I juggle wanting Jacob back and enjoy Chimera's company? Could I keep this from her, my plotting to be with Jacob?

She smiled at her reflection in the mirror. "I think this is it."

"Did you focus on your abundant…" I nodded to her chest, grinning. "…Good qualities?" I teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Very much so. I blame you making me go into that imperfect speech about perfection." She pointed at me.

"I think it looks perfect." I motioned to her dress. She blushed. I hadn't really glanced at myself in the mirror yet or even paid much attention to the dress. I looked irresistible even without my hair styled and lack of makeup. The crimson red didn't wash my pale complexion out. It gave me cleavage too, not that I had much. It was like I'd stepped out of a fashion magazine, the 'sexy' issue. "I think this is it too, except, these…" I fiddled with the straps. "…are complicated and they're the only thing that keep this dress up."

Chimera smiled at my comment. "It looks amazing on you and…" she looked at my behind. "Where did that bootycome from?"

I flushed beet red from head to toe. "I've had an ass for several years now, thank you very much." I tried to sound like I was offended and failing miserably as my lips twitched into a grin.

Moments later we changed back into our civilian clothes, paid for our dresses (they were on sale) and walked out laughing, her armed looped through mine. My extra long lunch was over.

I'd almost forgotten, in those last moments, that she was with Jacob. And as that thought repositioned itself to the center of my mind, with those images of her with him, and the two of them making love, I felt sick.

I was in love with him. I wanted him to be happy…but I wanted him to be happy with me.

I would have to do this behind the scenes. But it would be Jacob's choice, something that had dawned on me soon after I'd found out they were together.

But I would not give up until he let both of us know who he wanted, if he desired me romantically. Then, I would accept the choice no matter what, even if it was her he'd choose. That didn't mean that I would play dirty, like Autumn had said.

I wasn't evil. I was passionate. Another step formed in my mind: I needed to spend more time with Jacob, physically, alone. But I wanted him to invite me over, not the other way around.

As I stepped out of the car and waved goodbye to Chimera, I couldn't imagine hurting her. How was I going to do this? And the ever constant question, how would this all turn out?

Did Chimera know how lucky she was that she has him?

A country melody from Angela's CD, resonated in my ears as I entered my home.

She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love

Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

The next day

"So, you had… fun?" Ashley said, staring at me like I was a psychopath as the four of us- her, Kyle, Angela and I- gathered in the studio on the second floor.

"Yeah," I said, reclining against the table top. Ashley was alongside me and Kyle and Angela were perched across from us.

"And is that part of the plan?" Angela cut in.

"No," I said, staring into her eyes. "I'm not going to manipulate her or him. There will be no manipulation."

"So, how are you going to stay friends with her when you want him back?" Kyle said, agitated.

"That's way too far ahead." I stood up and paced. "I'm not trying to rush this thing…whatever it is. Leah's already got me in the wedding, and that was unexpected enough and it was a push forward. I don't really have a plan…I make it up as I go along."

"Look, Bella…" Angela approached me and reached for my hand. "You've been hurt by this, you're still hurting." My eyes stung from unshed tears. I wiped them away before they could fall and met her eyes. "You don't think this is hard for Jacob?"

"Why would it be?" I snapped. I crossed my arms. "He's still attracted to me, but 'I love you' wasn't included. I want to be his friend and I will be. But, I also want more." What was I even saying? I hadn't told him I loved him either. What was keeping me from doing so? Oh yeah…Chimera. "And yes, it's me holding onto what we once had, but I can't change the way I feel. Feelings fade away or get stronger, but to alter them, it…it doesn't work like that." I turned away. It was true- I would always love Edward and I would always hold dear that memory of what I shared with him. But, I discovered years ago, that he wasn't meant for me. "I don't know. Can we just…see what happens?" I pleaded.

"Bella," Ashley soothed. "We aren't pressuring you. We like Chimera too. But, I want you to be happy again, like you were with him in those pictures."

"I concur." Kyle raised his hand. "You should do whatever youthink feels right."

"Thank you," I said, before joining them again, regaining my composure.

My cell phone rang. I retrieved it from my pocket.

Jacob was calling.

My mood completely shifted. My insides heated up, my heart beat quickened, and a huge smile replaced my meager, almost forced one.

"I know who's calling," Angela sang.

I slapped her playfully as she leaned against the table beside me. I stood to my feet, walking a few feet away as I answered. "Hello," I beamed, squeezing my eyes shut, biting on my nails like a child.

"Hey you," he responded, cheerfully. I ran my fingers through my hair, blushing. Yet again, I felt like a school girl- receiving that call from the guy you like, or in my case, the guy you're in love with. "I haven't been avoiding you, but shit's been hectic." I almost scolded him for his foul language, before I remembered it really didn't bother me and he was, like, 20, going on 21 in about two months. Whoa. "School, work, business."

"I know," I chuckled. "If you were truly avoiding me you would have never called and I'd have to march my tiny self over there and demand you talk to me." I smirked. Would he catch on to my reference?

"Ah," he said, somber. "You're referring to that time where I went through my 'changes' and ignored you?" His voice lightened towards the end.

"Bingo," I laughed, even though I clearly remembered how desperate and lonely I'd been when I couldn't even turn to him after relying on him for so long, back in the day. I didn't want to live in the past, at least, not that part of it.

"Anyways, I called to see if you were free today and could visit the Reservation?"

My eyes widened and I grinned. Yes! He was inviting me over! "I'd love to!" I cupped my mouth as I realized how girlish that sounded. My friends mimicked me and swooned, blowing kisses. Ashley had the guts to flick her tongue between her fingers erected in a 'V.' I flicked her off and they broke into a short bout of laughter. "That was…"

He snickered. "Bella, really. It's good to hear you sound like that. You did miss me." I blushed.

He gave me directions to his garage he was employed at. I dressed in skinny jeans and a gray t-shirt with white arrow designs, Kyle's creation, and left my hair down. I applied a sparse amount of makeup, paying special attention to my eyes. I looked cute. I wasn't over doing it, which Ashley had said was smart because then I'd come off as too forward and striving for attention. So, I kept it simple.

The garage was tucked neatly in a more residential area on the reservation, one with more houses than the places I was used to seeing. That didn't mean woods didn't span in all directions.

They'd really put an effort in it. The garage was three car lengths, rather small, a tight fit and tall. Tools, wheels, and metal lay everywhere.

I parked behind Autumn's car. She was here?

Wind whipped through the trees, and they gray sky didn't appear it would be clearing up any time soon.

"Isabella Swan is baaaack," the unmistakable sound of Quil's voice interrupted my thoughts and I saw him approach me from a building nearby- the store itself. Dry, dead leaves crackled beneath his feet as he approached me.

"Hey Quil," I said, happily.

He pouted. "I don't get a hug?"

I smiled. It was a comfort he seemed to be welcoming me back with open arms. I couldn't help but resurrect an old joke. "As long as your hands stay on my waist and don't go any lower, I'm down for the hug."

He laughed as he brought me into his arms. He squeezed my waist briefly, silently saying 'it's good to see you,' and his hands stayed in place.

I pulled away. "Good job, Quil."

"Do I get a prize?" He arched a brow and his eyes flicked to my chest. I knew he wouldn't last long without a sexual come on. I elbowed his side as he bent over at the waist, laughing more.

"To whom do we owe this visit," Embry said loudly as he and Autumn appeared from the road, back from a walk. I greeted them enthusiastically, mood brightening even more with the sun peeking through the clouds. Interesting. Embry pulled me into a bone crushing hug, almost to Emmett-status. One of those good, firm, brotherly embraces. "Welcome back…even though I saw you a few days ago."

Autumn gave Quil a look as he draped an arm around me. "We were just about to grab some goods from the grocer. We need some things"

"All of you?" I said, suspicious.

"It's a lot of something's," Autumn added quickly.

"Jacob's in the garage," Embry gestured to its right side. "Lunch will be served when we unload. Later." The three of them walked down the driveway. They were walking. Ha. What a set up: Jacob and I were going to alone. I'm betting a million bucks it was Autumn's idea. I guess forgiveness was something they all wanted from me.

I rolled my eyes and strolled to the garage. Butterflies floated around in my stomach and warmth flooded through my veins as I thought of seeing him again. A hand held radio was tuned to a rock station and on a low setting. A car was raised up on a jack. As I walked beside the practically unidentifiable vehicle, Jake suddenly slid from underneath it. I jumped back and clutched my chest, breathing rapidly. "Damn it, Jacob!" I laughed breathlessly.

"Sorry." He smiled. I loved that smile and, as the usual result, I returned it. He rose to his feet and slid the cart to the side. He wiped his grease stained hands on a rag. It didn't do much; he still had smears over his hands and splatters on his shirt and jeans.

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see

That I want and I need everything that we should be

Jake in the garage. That was his calling. I was tempted to ask if he had any warm sodas but I held my tongue.

"Do I get a hug?" I said, quietly, voice wavering.

He smirked. "You want grease all over you?"

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "I don't care."

"Okay." He approached me, arms outstretched. "But, don't blame me when you rant about your favorite shirt getting dirty or something," he warned, playfully.

"Says the man who wears a white shirt while working on cars."

"Uh huh…" He stepped closer. "So, I should wear these more often?" He tugged at his shirt. "You pay a hell of a lot attention to them."

Caught again. I blushed. "That shirt is tight Jacob, its hard not to." I purposely stared excessively at his chest. An impish smile crossed my face. "Are you seducing me?"

"Damn." He snapped his fingers. "Such…utter…fail." He shook his head and grinned widely. "You weren't supposed to know."

"I'll keep it a secret." I winked at him.

"Just kidding." He grinned. He reached for my arm. "Come here." He pulled me into a hug, sliding his hand up my back. I was confined against his chest and wrapped my arms around him. It felt right to be in his arms. So warm…my own personal heater. Safe. His hands splayed against my back and the tips of his fingers ignited the skin beneath them through my shirt as he laid his head against my shoulder. I clutched the back of his shirt, inhaling his scent, now with a touch of 'garage smell.' His hands tightly squeezed my waist before moving away. He reached for a 12 pack of soda. "Do you want one?"

"Sure sure," I recited. I was wound up from the hug. Dizzy. My legs were trembling and I was unfocused. Jacob's fault.

His cheeks darkened…wait…he'd been a bit clumsy too when he'd walked over to the drinks and now…his footing was off. He was wobbly.

Had he been aware of the proximity like I was? The touch we'd refused each other for so long?

I sat on the raggedy couch against the back wall in front of the car he was repairing. Not much distance lay between us as he settled on the edge of the hood of the car. He handed me a soda. It was fresh out of the package and it hadn't been refrigerated. Warm sodas. I think I may have swooned. I gave him a knowing look. He shrugged and smiled around the lid of the can. "Like old times."

I nodded, taking a sip. "Where I watch you work your magic…"

"And we talk," he finished my sentence.

A pleasant heat flowed through my body. "Yeah," I whispered. "I don't know where to start." I rubbed my jean clad legs.

"Tell me about college," he said as he set his drink on the toolbox beside me, coated with dust from the daily workload.

"Um…" I chewed on my lower lip as he hunched over the car's hood.

"I'm listening," he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "I know you are." I stared at his back as his muscles moved beneath his shirt while his hands glided over the engine, inspecting it. That is why I liked to watch him fix cars.

I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night.

"My roommates were Kyle and Ashley. Angela lived with us when school ended, and she's continued to live with us since."

"I met them," he laughed. His hand twisted a wrench as he assembled something. I kept my eyes on his arms. Do not watch his hands, Bella. Look at those arms! Great skin, rich blood. I opted for gazing at his bare feet instead; the bottoms and sides covered with dirt. Shouldn't he wear shoes? There were nails lying around! Oh yeah, super awesome werewolf healing capabilities. He could probably step on a nail, only feel a pinch, and not grasp that it was in his foot until later.

I banished my thoughts again. "Kyle's hilarious; he's out there. He's not afraid to speak his mind and he always has fun. He can take the worst situation and make a joke about it. He's like my brother."

"He was totally checking me out."

"I'm sure he did. You must have been flattered."

"'This is why I'm hot,'" Jacob sang and swung his body around, dancing. I shook my head, smiling.

"Ashley's a Barbie doll brought to life. She likes to dress up, wear makeup, and she's blond. She comes off as shallow and self-centered, but she'd really…not." My voice got softer. "She was there for me when it all…came to the surface."

"What do you mean?" Jake angled his head towards me.

"She was the first one of my friends, at the time, that I talked to about…you," I whispered the last word.

He paused and stood up, his back to me. "She's the first you told about leaving me." He faced me and our eyes locked. I couldn't refrain from looking at him. He was hurting from the memory, or something else, I didn't know. But it affected my mood; it was like we were on the same wavelength. When Jake was happy, I was. When he was hurting, or upset, I was. When he was angry, I'd blow up too. We'd usually end up in a screaming match. I had a feeling we were due for one in the upcoming weeks.

"She found…" I couldn't continue. My eyes watered. I needed…support. Something. He sensed my urgency to have him closer and sat on the edge of the couch. I bent my legs at the knees to give him room.

His face crinkled, contorted, like he was decoding something that had occurred, something that was said, that he couldn't figure out. Then his eyes widened. "The pictures."

Startled, my body twitched. "How did you…?"

"When I first met her at your job…" He gazed outside the garage. "She said something like the pictures didn't do me justice. Why…How?" He turned towards me, flustered.

I was glad that we weren't shunning the topic of our past relationship together. I held his gaze. "I stored them away the day I went to break up with you. I tore them off my wall." I swallowed a bitter lump in my throat. I hadn't told him this. "I was furious about what I had to do, and looking at those pictures…I started to doubt I could go through with what I intended. They were everywhere. Edward…" Jacob made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. It still bothered him when I brought up Edward. I guess I shouldn't tell him about Edward and I speaking to each other over the phone every month or so, and that I saw him after my graduation. Or maybe I needed to. I did need to…but not today. I looked away. "He put them in a shoebox for me. I'd thought he'd thrown them away. I panicked; yelled at him, fell apart." His eyes shimmered with pity as my gaze found his again. "She was reaching for a set of my shoes and the box toppled over. She saw them all. Every… single… one."

His cheeks reddened and he shifted in his seat. "You mean…"

"Yeah, those…so then, I couldn't keep you from her and…" I felt nauseous. "I told her I still loved you."

His hands curled into fists and his jaw grated. I should stop…and I did. He left my side and went back to work. "Go on…about college."

Ah, he didn't want to talk about the 'L' word.

I'd ruined it. My features crinkled as an ache formed in my chest, but I changed the subject and continued on. "I went to high school with Angela. She's such a sweet girl," I gushed. "It was nice to have someone from Forks over there with me…" I prattled on about my classes, teachers, the campus itself, and my major. He responded appropriately and offered witty remarks now and then.

"You won't believe it," I sniggered as I sat on the mini-rolling ladder beside the car as he went to work underneath it."I got so drunk one night…"

Before I could finish, Jake snapped up and knocked his head into the bottom of the car and bent a leg up. "Ouch," he grumbled.

"Jake?" I said, worried.

"I'm fine," he moaned. His voice was muffled from beneath the car. "Bella, you know how you are when you've had a few too many."

Warmth pooled between my thighs. The only experience he had with me drunk was when I'd given him a lap dance. I had to change the atmosphere, since my body was rapidly heating up with lust. I was so sex deprived. Jacob had moved almost too fast for my weak human eyes, but…did he adjust his pants? I think I was paying too much attention to him. Where was I? Oh… "Anyways, I got into a brawl with…Lana." I stifled a laugh, but my lips puffed out anyway and a giggle escaped.

He slid out and sat up, gawking at me. "Are you kidding me?"

"I'm not," I laughed. "I hated her guts, Jake. She's a bitch!"

"Down girl!" He jabbed my side with his finger, moving his other hand in a downward motion.

"Apparently I have two sides when I'm drunk; I'm horny or I'm violent, humorously violent."

"You are stronger…" He stroked his chin and eyed me. What a fiend.

I rolled my eyes, laughing. "Yeah, because a helpless, defenseless, aroused, tipsy male would resist me if I put the moves on him in his weakened state."

His eyes darkened. "Nah, he wouldn't be able to." He gave me a knowing smile and rolled under the car again. I blushed for the millionth time.

I continued to fill him in on major events and my other friends. Then he opened up about the life he'd been living. He was having a blast in college, going to parties, making excellent grades, and meeting loads of friends. He'd been asked to try out for every sport- basketball because of his height, football because of his build, track because of his speed… and he'd turned them all down. New experiences, new friends, new everything...He'd even acted out a few situations that happened with him- a teacher hitting on him, being asked three times in a row to join the football team, and several other things. Jake was always expressive and enthusiastic when he carried on a conversation or told a story. He chatted with me about how different college was from high school on the Reservation- the diversity, the teachers treating you like adults, the lack of censorship. All experiences I'd had in my college years. He said he was going to graduate in about a year from now, a semester early.

"Where are the others?" I asked, looking around as I handed him a wrench. My hands were covered in dirt. I'd been on the floor, following him around.

"Oh, they're back," he snorted, pulling out and moved to the hood, doing what he promised to be the last thing on the car for now. "The three of them are inside." He glanced at the clock. "Damn, we've been here for a few hours and I'm starved."

My stomach growled. "Think I could convince Autumn to let me prepare sandwiches for everyone?" I had missed spending time with them.

"I'm sure they've all eaten," he laughed as he scrubbed his hands in that special, gritty orange soap mechanics used. "But, being a werewolf…we can't turn down food." He smiled.

"You and the guys' bottomless stomachs…" I shook my head, chuckling, and followed him inside the double-trailer. Jake said his boss was locked in one of the back rooms. They only saw him once in the morning and evening and when the guys couldn't solve a problem.

Taylor's Swift's 'You Belong with Me' was playing from an old radio through an open door in the back. Autumn was in the kitchen, singing the lyrics beautifully, while Embry and Quil wailed from their positions in front of the TV show beside the door in the sitting area.

"I'm going to see if she needs help," I said over Embry and Quil's 'singing.'

"Sure, sure," Jake chuckled, settling his hand on my lower back. He was touching me and he wasn't thinking about it. "I'll take care of those guys." He winked.

Wait...he was holding my hand…he's held my hand on the way in. Why hadn't I noticed that?

Because it was natural. It was Jake and Bells. And I didn't expect him to hold my hand. Friends did that; yes…we did before we were an item. It was a promising sign; it meant I was rapidly winning his friendship back.

I gave his hand a quick squeeze. He looked down, surprised, and his eyes widened. He hadn't noticed it either and now I was tingling from his touch.

I knew I would be hyper sensitive and aware of his touch for the rest of the day. I smiled as I vanished through the door and pranced into the kitchen, shutting the door behind me. Plain countertops lined a wall and there were ample amounts of food and alcohol.

Autumn smiled as I entered. "Sometimes the guys like to party out here and bring us girls along. We crash here for the night, only when the boss is at home, though," she said as she piled meat and cheese onto an elaborate sub. She'd completed one and was onto another. I dove in and made one for Jake and myself. "Really now," I said, spreading mayo on the bread.

"Heck yes." She cut a sandwich, a smaller one, likely hers. "Now that Sam's not Alpha anymore, he occasionally comes along."

I spotted a hookah in the corner in front of a closed door. "That's the den." She licked her fingers clean. "And that hookah was Leah's idea."

"I tried one once." I shook my head. "I gagged every time I inhaled and probably coughed my lungs up." Autumn laughed at my remark.

A silence passed. "Autumn could you be any more obvious?"

"What?" She looked at me innocently. There was a twinkle in her eyes. She knew what I was going to say.

"'You Belong With Me'?"

"Hey! I like the song!" She threw her hands up and rinsed the utensils in the sink. "Don't blame me! Quil's the one that turned on the radio."

"Uh huh," I said, smiling as I finished my sandwich and began to pile meat, cheese, lettuce, you name it, onto Jacob's. I heard tussling from the living room and laughter, as well as things breaking. Autumn rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I think she's trying to speak to me through songs," I joked…sort of. "First it was 'Teardrops On My Guitar,' now this."

"Come on, Bella! Don't deny that that's your song to Jacob! It so is!"

I blushed. "Shut up."

She burst into song. "And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town…" She bumped my hip. "You say you're fine; I know you better than that."

I moved with her and finished the lyrics…intentionally. "Hey what you doing with a girl like that…" I sounded alright. That's a first. We finished the chorus and bounced around. I'd almost forgotten how much fun my best female friend was. The boys burst in, cutting us off, shoving each other playfully. I shut off the radio.

"Hey woman," Quil said to Autumn, pestering her, hovering behind her. "Where's the grub?"

"Don't 'woman'me, Caveman," Autumn argued jokingly. "Help yourself, jackass."

"Such love in this family," Quil said, mock offended, snatching a plate from her hand, theatrically shaking his head.

Family.

I smiled and handed Jake his plate. "If it's not enough, you can finish mine." I held my plate up.

"You're so kind," he cooed. He nodded to the door, telling me he wanted to go back outside with me. I agreed with a slight inclination of my head, nervous and nearly impatient to be alone with him again.

We sat on the steps of the porch to the cabin, side by side, arms and legs touching.

"I make goodsandwiches," I groaned with delight as I chewed off another bite.

"Yours can't be better than mine." He flicked my arm.

I faced him and leaned against him. "I made yours, dummy." He snagged my hand as I went for another bite and took one of his own.

I glanced at him with shock. He even added a sound for exaggeration. "Yours is better! I feel ripped off. You made your sandwich to the best of your ability and yours only." He smirked.

"I'm kicking your ass for that, Jakey," I warned, suppressing a laugh.

"We'll see how that goes, okay? Are you going to punch me? Did you remember a crowbar this time?"

I gaped at him. He burst out laughing at my expression. I couldn't help but join him. Contagious laugh remember? "You had to refer to that didn't you?"

He rolled his eyes. "Please, you know you wanted it at that time…" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

I scoffed and my mouth dropped. "You have such an unfaltering ego, Mr. Black."

He leaned in, inches from my face. Heat. Static charge. Feelings. He lowered his voice. "I don't think that I've heard you complain in a serious manner yet."

I smiled and a comfortable silence passed between us as we finished eating. I watched his arms flex with each bite and his lips move. I couldn't help it. I hadn't had time to look at him when he was this close to me in a while.

What would Chimera think if she found out her boyfriend had spent a whole day with his ex girlfriend? I brushed that thought aside, refusing to worry about her when it'd been an absolutely amazing day, for the most part.

Drew walks by me; can he tell that I can't breathe?

And there he goes, so perfectly

The kind of flawless I wish I could be.

I set my plate down as the sun peeked through the tress and walked away. Jacob's eyes were on me. I had a game face on. I yanked up my jeans as I faced him a few feet away in the grass. I was hoping for no mud. I rocked side to side, signaling him. "Come on. I don't have a crowbar, but I can still throw some punches." I jabbed the air with my fists, eyes level with one fist and my other in my peripheral. The stance I'd learned from Ashley one night in our apartment a few years ago. When you lived in a city as big as New York you had to learn some form of protection. But, I wasn't dealing with a human being; I was dealing with a supernatural being. I smiled brightly at him. Jake doubled over, laughing, as he walked over to me. "Don't make fun of me," I growled, playfully. "I dare you to come closer."

"Bella, you're like 5 foot nothing and a hundred pounds." He had the widest smile on his face, leaving no hope for my heart to calm down now.

"Who's afraid of the fragile, vulnerable girl?" Well didn't that sound familiar? I snickered. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? I wanted to have fun.

He mimicked my position, although his stance was sturdier. "Hit me," he challenged. I thrust out a hand and he tapped my shoulder. "Too slow. Harder. Come on," he beckoned. I lunged for his arm only to be spun around and pressed against him. He locked my arms behind my back. "You lose," he said into my ear, laughing at me, bunching my shirt up. That felt so nice, but…

How dare he make fun of the little person!

I pulled away, catching him by surprise, remembering my goal was to not be too obvious…I couldn't touch him for too long, although every nerve ending in my body and every thought in my mind wanted to. I was strong enough to not succumb to his touch…for the time being. As if. Let's see how long that lasts. I ducked and punched him again from the side. He faced me. I knew better than to hit hard. I didn't want to suffer another broken, bloody hand again.

He kept harassing my, urging me on. I went in to knock him in the chest only to be back in the position I was before. My back was pressed against his chest and body. Warmth, everywhere. I burst out laughing and he did to, backing up. He tripped over an upturned root. His arms enveloped my waist as we fell to the ground, bodies vibrating with laughter. Calming down, I sat for a moment between his legs, trying to ignore my unsurprising reaction. I couldn't screw things up. I would wait for him, like he waited for me all those years ago.

I turned to the side and took in his smiling face, resting my head daringly into the crook of his neck and shoulder, smiling against his skin, catching my breath.

To my surprise his hands tightened around my waist but the moment was ruined when his hand grazed against the skin of my stomach right above the waist band of my low rise jeans. My skin was by no means cool, but that subtle touch of skin sent heat flying in all directions from where it rested. My hands automatically seized his, and that's when he noticed I was wearing his bracelet. His fingers skimmed over it once before he tensed and pulled away. I struggled to not show that it hurt to be rejected again. "Come on," he stood in front of me, hand outstretched, not meeting my eyes. "Let's get back to work."

"Yeah," I breathed and took his rough, warm hand as he brought me gently to my feet. Please don't let go, Jake.

I'd never felt so…it'd been so long since I'd felt this at ease or this…longing.

And I realized not once had I discussed my relationship with Jeremy and not once had Jacob brought up Chimera. We were skirting around those topics, but I knew sooner or later they'd find their way into our conversations. For now, I was content with the fact that they hadn't. And he didn't mention the bracelet.

Jake's hand was still clasped around mine as we headed back onto his garage.

Score one for Team Bella.

Did I ever think of you

As my enemy?

Did you ever think of me?

I'm not complaining

(A/N: The J/B scene at the end was inspired by the BTS video of the EW shoot Taylor and Kristen did. It's the cutest thing ever; if you haven't seen it you should. The videos I made for this story are uploaded to my photobucket account (YouTube hates me, but photo bucket doesn't- I have 4 'trailers' for NTL up there! Check them out!). Outfits, etc are on my Jacob-Black-n-Pack group for this story/photo bucket account. All links are in my profile!)e