POST NO # 25
Padmé rolled on her elbow and sat up with an effort. "I accused him of murdering our child. I did exactly what the emperor would have me do." She stopped to sniff and wipe her eyes with the napkin that Maleen offered her.
"That wrinkled hog would want more than anything for our relations to fall apart."
Maleen looked at her with a stoic face. "You really do care for his Lordship don't you?"
"Maleen, he is my husband and I have vowed to be faithful to him for the rest of my life."
"But you're practically his prisoner, his slave?"
" A slave!" She said with evident scoff, "When was Padmé Amidala Naberrie ever free? I haven't seen freedom since age twelve when I became an apprentice to the Governor of Theed. Next I was a slave to my Planet as queen, then as a senator with a full time resolution to change the whole galaxy and now a slave to Vader."
Silence.
"He isn't that bad as he makes himself to be. Inside he's the old Anakin. I see him sometimes, when Vader is asleep, the angelic face of the man who is my husband, the one who really cares.
"Milady, do you mean to say that there are really two people living inside this one person, are we talking of a split perso…"
"No!" Padmé cut in; " it's not that. It's the battle of good and evil inside one person. Palpatine may think he has won Anakin to the dark side, but I don't think so, I can feel the conflict inside him." She held up the baby dress victoriously as proof.
"The Anakin I knew was a sweet and kind person. He was only nine years old when I first met him, but he risked his life just so that we could get off Tatooine when we got stuck there, due to a malfunction in our transport."
Padmé then went on to relate the whole Tatooine adventure to her companion. Maleen listened to this amazing part of Vader's past. A past clouded in mystery to ordinary folks. No one knew much about his childhood, Vader had made sure nothing of it existed in the news archives or on the infonets.
"Its incredible," She whispered at length "I mean you'd think Vader would have been the sort of kid who would wring off a birds head and cut of lizards tails."
"Not at all. He was such a sweet and responsible child and so mature for his age-not at all so damn unreasonable like he seems now."
Padmé's shook her head again, as she absentmindedly twirled her fingers lovingly in the toy wookie's long fur. She clutched it to her chest, like a mother would hold her infant. Seeming distant again; her eyes vacant as a faint smile graced her face.
"He said he would marry me," She said aloud. "He told me that, the very first day he saw me in that junk shop."
"Really?" Maleen exclaimed, taken aback.
Maleen shrugged her shoulders, "strange isn't it? Did the boy have a premonition or something. I daresay a nine years old, a slave, would have so much confidence in himself-in his future self-to have such convictions and express it too."
"Anakin calls it destiny, he says he foresaw it."
"Forcing someone into something is not destiny," Maleen said.
"Becoming strong enough to do so is destiny." Padmé cut in.
"Would I have suddenly abandon my fiancé of three years for a slave boy! For all I know he would still be toiling and sweating in some back-street junk shop on Tatooine."
"What if he had become a Jedi?"
Padmé's froze, just for a moment, and then she sat up. "I didn't think about that. Wouldn't that have been wonderful? My Ani the Jedi, that would be nice, wouldn't it?" She began to smile again. But her face fell again. "No, he wouldn't be able to marry me if he were a Jedi, you see Jedi are simply not allowed to marry."
"Perhaps he would leave the order, I mean if he really loved you-he married you against the emperor's wishes perhaps he might have gone against the Jedi order and married you even then."
Padmé shook her head, "I don't know if he would do that if he was inclined to the lightside-though he seemed the determined kind even as a kid. However, this much I do know that a Jedi would never blackmail or kidnap someone, even for love. And because I had made my choice long before Anakin became a man, I doubt it our destinies would have met had he not been a Sith and used his immense resources to force the issue." She said with a 'so-here-I-am' shrug.
"As for marrying me against his master's wishes, I think Palpatine has a plan for me-how I fit in though, I don't know. I don't even think Anakin is aware of it. That viper has been using people like game chips since even before I was born."
The former Senator closed her eyes, as visions of a young queen and a whispering Senator came to her mind. Guilt coursed through her being like an asspra's poison. Except the poison was more welcome as it killed instantly and painlessly, at least she would have been spared the fate she was condemned to now, living with her guilt and dying a hundred times each day.
Padmé rolled on her elbow and sat up with an effort. "I accused him of murdering our child. I did exactly what the emperor would have me do." She stopped to sniff and wipe her eyes with the napkin that Maleen offered her.
"That wrinkled hog would want more than anything for our relations to fall apart."
Maleen looked at her with a stoic face. "You really do care for his Lordship don't you?"
"Maleen, he is my husband and I have vowed to be faithful to him for the rest of my life."
"But you're practically his prisoner, his slave?"
" A slave!" She said with evident scoff, "When was Padmé Amidala Naberrie ever free? I haven't seen freedom since age twelve when I became an apprentice to the Governor of Theed. Next I was a slave to my Planet as queen, then as a senator with a full time resolution to change the whole galaxy and now a slave to Vader."
Silence.
"He isn't that bad as he makes himself to be. Inside he's the old Anakin. I see him sometimes, when Vader is asleep, the angelic face of the man who is my husband, the one who really cares.
"Milady, do you mean to say that there are really two people living inside this one person, are we talking of a split perso…"
"No!" Padmé cut in; " it's not that. It's the battle of good and evil inside one person. Palpatine may think he has won Anakin to the dark side, but I don't think so, I can feel the conflict inside him." She held up the baby dress victoriously as proof.
"The Anakin I knew was a sweet and kind person. He was only nine years old when I first met him, but he risked his life just so that we could get off Tatooine when we got stuck there, due to a malfunction in our transport."
Padmé then went on to relate the whole Tatooine adventure to her companion. Maleen listened to this amazing part of Vader's past. A past clouded in mystery to ordinary folks. No one knew much about his childhood, Vader had made sure nothing of it existed in the news archives or on the infonets.
"Its incredible," She whispered at length "I mean you'd think Vader would have been the sort of kid who would wring off a birds head and cut of lizards tails."
"Not at all. He was such a sweet and responsible child and so mature for his age-not at all so damn unreasonable like he seems now."
Padmé's shook her head again, as she absentmindedly twirled her fingers lovingly in the toy wookie's long fur. She clutched it to her chest, like a mother would hold her infant. Seeming distant again; her eyes vacant as a faint smile graced her face.
"He said he would marry me," She said aloud. "He told me that, the very first day he saw me in that junk shop."
"Really?" Maleen exclaimed, taken aback.
Maleen shrugged her shoulders, "strange isn't it? Did the boy have a premonition or something. I daresay a nine years old, a slave, would have so much confidence in himself-in his future self-to have such convictions and express it too."
"Anakin calls it destiny, he says he foresaw it."
"Forcing someone into something is not destiny," Maleen said.
"Becoming strong enough to do so is destiny." Padmé cut in.
"Would I have suddenly abandon my fiancé of three years for a slave boy! For all I know he would still be toiling and sweating in some back-street junk shop on Tatooine."
"What if he had become a Jedi?"
Padmé's froze, just for a moment, and then she sat up. "I didn't think about that. Wouldn't that have been wonderful? My Ani the Jedi, that would be nice, wouldn't it?" She began to smile again. But her face fell again. "No, he wouldn't be able to marry me if he were a Jedi, you see Jedi are simply not allowed to marry."
"Perhaps he would leave the order, I mean if he really loved you-he married you against the emperor's wishes perhaps he might have gone against the Jedi order and married you even then."
Padmé shook her head, "I don't know if he would do that if he was inclined to the lightside-though he seemed the determined kind even as a kid. However, this much I do know that a Jedi would never blackmail or kidnap someone, even for love. And because I had made my choice long before Anakin became a man, I doubt it our destinies would have met had he not been a Sith and used his immense resources to force the issue." She said with a 'so-here-I-am' shrug.
"As for marrying me against his master's wishes, I think Palpatine has a plan for me-how I fit in though, I don't know. I don't even think Anakin is aware of it. That viper has been using people like game chips since even before I was born."
The former Senator closed her eyes, as visions of a young queen and a whispering Senator came to her mind. Guilt coursed through her being like an asspra's poison. Except the poison was more welcome as it killed instantly and painlessly, at least she would have been spared the fate she was condemned to now, living with her guilt and dying a hundred times each day.