18 July 2013
"You can't keep me in here… You can't keep, it's not fair!"
"I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do."
"Liar! You're head of this institution! You're the reason I'm here!"
"Look, Skew, I can't let you out, you're a danger to the public."
"It's Skewb! Skew-B! Pronounce the B!"
"Maybe if you want to convince us that you're no danger, you'll start by telling me your actual name."
"That is my real name!"
"No parents would call their child Skewb."
"I chose that name! I have no parents! I created myself!"
"That's wrong, Skewp, everybody has parents, even adopted people."
"I'm sick of talking to you closed minded humans! Leave me alone!"
The physiatrist sighed.
"Look, I'll be back soon, I'd like an answer to my questions when I get back."
He stood up. There were more physiatrists on the other side of the door.
"He doesn't want to answer any of my questions now. Let's come bac-"
...That was all Skewb heard before he closed the door behind him.
It was just him.
In this room.
Just then, a voice spoke that only he could hear "Well Skewb, you made your way to an asylum. Congratulations."
"Shut up!" Skewb shouted.
"Still, at least you didn't tell him that you were actually an alien who committed suicide and was then resurrected by the ghost of an ancient prince."
"What the hell am I going to say to them then though?"
"Just make up a story that sounds believable. Say you're a kid with a skin condition. Say you got bullied because of that and that you never had friends."
"They take this story seriously though. Let's face it, how many skin conditions are there that turn your skin dark green?"
"I don't know. This is your universe, not mine. It's bound to exist though."
"You're so useless."
"I don't plan on applying as a professional madhouse outbreak advisor anytime soon, no."
"And you know what the funny thing is?"
"What?"
"I really could not care less about this happening to me compared to what's happened in the past."
"Wow, you must have it almost as bad as me."
"I already told you, I do."
"At least you don't have PTSD though."
"Have I ever told you about what happened that made me kill myself? ...The first time that is."
"Something about losing a sweet wrapper?"
"Yeah, there's this rumour going around that nothing at all happened. I'm not stupid, I've read up on myself. If I ever find the person who spread that rumour, I swear to god…"
"What did happen then?"
Skewb sighed.
"Well it started when my parents died, and while I was searching for their home planet, my 2 other brothers died here on Earth. With no family left and nobody to turn to, I decided to do the only thing I could do to keep me sane."
"Which was?"
"I created a universe that looked identical to the universe in the Pokémon video game series."
"Didn't you do that after I found you as well?"
"Yes, but this was different. The other universe I made was an escape, an alternative to reality. Somewhere I could be where I wanted to be, where I had friends and we communicated. On top of that I got to walk, play and fight with all my favourite Pokémon from the games, they had them all, they had a collection of over 400 different types spanning at least 5 different regions, 6 years and god knows how many trainers."
"They must be dedicated people."
"In fact their collection was so large that it spanned more than just one planet, it spanned multiple universes, some of my friends being friends with alternate versions of themselves."
"They were friends with themselves?"
"Some of the people were identical, yeah."
"Wow, the ideal world for you. A world where you can have clones of yourself as friends."
"Well, obviously I was one of a kind cause I wasn't from their multiverse."
"So what happened?"
"They died. Every single one of them."
"How did they manage to do that?"
"Well, after reading up on the leftover data from the accident, I found that their entire multiverse had been wiped out by a Pokémon called Morta."
"Never heard of it."
"Me neither, but it was the strongest of a legendary Pokémon trio. At the time I didn't understand, because one of my friends, Ethan, was supposed to have the stones to prevent Morta from waking up."
"Soooooo...?"
"As it turns out, those items were actually supposed to help spawn them. Ethan was spawning them, not preventing them from spawning, and somebody had been lying to him all his life."
"That sucks."
"Those guys were everything I needed in my life. When I lost them, I lost everything. No friends, no family, no support, no escape. I had nothing left..."
Skewb breathed in.
"...And when I realised that, that's when I did it. That when I committed suicide. That's when my life was over. Still is if you ask me. I feel just as much pain now as I did then."
"But just as you died, that's when Prince Skew reanimated you."
"Yep, and that's how I began as Skewb. A suicidal yet immortal zombie."
"Did you turn green immediately?"
"No, I woke up less than a few seconds after the old me hit the ground and died, and I still looked exactly like him, but because my body still thought it was dead it started decomposing, and after about a week I was completely dark green."
"I thought it was microorganisms that made you decompose."
"Then it was them that thought I was dead. I don't know. Point is, I was theoretically dead."
"You know I just had this thought."
"Do you want a medal?"
"You probably shouldn't be talking to me."
"Why not?"
"Duh, because I'm invisible? They can't see or hear me so they're just gonna think that they're talking to yourself."
Skewb thought about this.
"You're right. I'll shut up from now on."
Before he had time to shut up though, the door opened again.
"Who's that you're talking to?"
"Myself. It's a habit I have. Doesn't matter, seeing as I live in a madhouse anyway."
He looked at Skewb with doubt on his face, disregarded it, closing the door and sitting down next to him.
"Now Skewb, I'm going to ask you a few questions, I want you to answer them properly this time."