AN: Bkwrmchar - re: "Ed Tucker needs to be retired, either voluntarily or not"... Perhaps Cragen should follow through with his threat? HKS/lovingfanfic2death - re: "Liv's ring fitting Alex"... Yeah *goofy grin*. IBME - re: "That chapter was exhausting/describing depravity"... It was exhausting writing both chapters 23, 24, and this one, chapter 25, even though I didn't/don't go into too much detail. A couple of times I had to walk away from the computer and do something else. I even went and cleaned the bathroom at one stage, and I despise doing that! Lee Ann - re: "I'm sorry, but Tucker would never act that way. I know he sometimes has it out for Liv, but that was a bit much."... Ah well, I can't please everyone. Seeing Liv already had a murder investigation on her police file already (ep 'Perverted'), my version of Tucker was set up back in chapter 7 to kind of hint he was going to try and pin Brian's shooting on her back then and kick her out. :-( Lucky IAB's going to clear Liv. :-D But to say NEVER?... I'm not sure. He almost got Brian killed in ep 'Internal Affairs' just to make his case for corruption and felt NO guilt and remorse whatsoever for putting Brian in such life threatening danger. I think that says a lot about his character. IMO, I get the feeling that Tucker believes he is a law unto himself, and that's how I wrote it.

AN2: Wow, over 100,000 words so far and there's still quite a way to go! That's mind blowing to me. Anyhoo, like chapter 23, this chapter will come with a trigger warning for sexual abuse survivors. It won't be any more graphic or gratuitously detailed in the recalling of what happened than in #23. As I said previously, I personally can't write like that. I'll try and keep it as respectful as possible.

I'll be your savior, steadfast and true;
I'll come to your emotional rescue. ~ The Rolling Stones (Emotional Rescue)

"Doctor Leonard, we have a problem."

"How so, Beverley?" Kelly looked up from her paperwork seeing the older nurse had her head poking around the office door. The salt and pepper haired doctor didn't like it when one of the nurses said anything remotely similar to such a statement as that. Sometimes, it was a patient suddenly refusing treatment by ripping their IV drip out causing the patient even more injury. Or sometimes it was a patient being aggressive towards the nursing staff. Every once in a while, it was a patient trying to smoke inside the hospital at any opportunity they could find. And then on the odd occasion:

"Olivia Benson, the rescue patient detective... she's has just informed me that the other patient, Vanessa Meyer, has gone missing."

"Shit!"

"Please! I want to help... I need to help! I'm a cop, remember! I have to help find 'Nessa!" Olivia pleaded with Melanie as the Sheriff headed towards the main entrance, Alex in tow.

Melanie turned to face Liv, "I know you want to help Olivia, but you're a patient, and you need to stay here. Vanessa may have been gone since 11-30, but she can't have gone too far on foot. A few miles at the most and we know the direction that she's headed in with the CCTV cameras. The best thing is for you to stay here, especially if Vanessa comes back while we're looking for her. Alex has my number to call if she does. Now stay here, Detective! I don't want to have to threaten you with arrest."

"Seriously?! You'd arrest me?!" Olivia's jaw dropped.

Alex placed her hand on Olivia's arm, "Liv, let Mel do her job."

"It's my job too, Alex!" Liv cried out in exasperation.

"Olivia, your job is to be a patient right now. We're not in New York, and Winthrop is not our jurisdiction." Alex reluctantly led Olivia over to a small bench just outside the main entrance.

"What if she's done something silly like... I don't know... try and hitch hike to somewhere?" Liv threw a possibility out in the open.

Alex looked at Olivia, full of concern. "Do you think she would?"

"I don't think so, but after everything she's been through and after her outburst yesterday, anything is possible and that's what I'm worried about, Alex."

The fat man approached, taking in Vanessa's attire, "What's wrong darlin'? You lost? Or runnin' away? I can help you, y'know!"

Vanessa stumbled, her panic intensified even more when he reached out to grab her wrist to help her back up, "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME! DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME!"

"It's ok darlin', I won't bite... unless you want me to!" he leered lecherously.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Whoa, darlin'! Just tryin' to be friendly! No need to get your panties in a twist... unless you like that sorta thang!" he gaffawed at his own joke.

"BACK OFF! NOW!"

"OK OK! Sheesh! Try an' help a darlin' damsel 'n' I get me head bit off!"

The sound of an approaching engine drew their attention. As Vanessa slowly got back to her feet, the car pulled up and a man in grease stained pale blue demin bib and brace overalls and a white undershirt got out.

Alan.

"Izaac... what are you doing?"

"Me 'n' me girlie friend here are jus' catchin' up, Sheriff Officer!" the fat man said cheerily as she threw his arm around Vanessa's shoulder, drawing her closer to his rotund body.

Alan could immediately see how uncomfortable Vanessa was while being in manhandled the way she was by the large man.

"Really? Because I have a sneaking suspicion that you're currently breaking your bail conditions. And you don't know Van-... this woman... at all."

"Aww, c'mon now Officer Irvine!" the man quickly let Vanessa go and approached Alan, pleading with the rookie.

"Curfew and location conditions spring to mind right now! So, you've got 10 seconds to get out of here before I call Sheriff Leonard to let her know. I'm sure she'd be delighted to put your flabby ass behind bars for breaking bail. One... two... FIVE..." Alan whipped out his cell phone, tapping the screen a few times.

"Alrigh' alrigh', I'm goin'!" he turned, slowly walking away.

"EIGHT!" The off duty Sheriff Officer raised the phone to his ear.

"Shit!" the fat man named Izaac waddled as fast as he could to his car and sped away in the direction he had been travelling.

Alan put his phone back in his pocket and waited until the car was out of sight before he addressed Vanessa, "Did he hurt you at all?"

Vanessa shook her head, no.

"That's alright then, but I had to make sure. He's fairly harmless," Alan slowly approached but when he saw Vanessa back away, he backed off too. Keeping his distance of about 15 feet, he hands raised in a non threatening manner. "Shouldn't you still be in the hospital, Vanessa?"

She shrugged.

"Hop in the car. I'll give you a ride back."

"NO! No! I'm not getting in your car. Not after... I don't trust... I just can't alright!"

Alan remembered what Vanessa had said, she was wary of men now. "Ah, ok. What do you suggest then?"

"Maybe... umm... maybe if you... ahh... let me drive your car?"

"Noone drives the Fury, but me. She's too temperamental when... strangers... drive her." Alan lazily walked back around and partially sat on the hood of the Plymouth.

The Mexican standoff had begun.

"Y-you... you use your phone! Call the Sheriff to come get me from here... wherever here is."

"I would... but I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? You just said you'd call the Sheriff on that guy!" The red head fired up.

Alan smiled briefly, revealing his dimples for the first time as he rubbed the back of his neck, the mop of light brown curls on the top of his head seemed even more curlier today. "Yeah about that... I lied. Sorry."

"You lied?!"

"See, here's the problem... there's no good cell phone reception around the Carlton Pond area. Too many trees." Alan waved his hand around the general vicinity. "How on earth did you get here anyway?! You're a good few miles from the Medical Centre!"

"I-I needed some fresh air after my interview, so I went for a walk... I just kept walking."

"Does anyone know you're gone?"

Vanessa just shrugged again.

"This... this is not good. You have to get back there ASAP! Like right now! Doc Leonard would kill me... and Sheriff Leonard will! Mel's already told me how incompetent I am because I screwed up big time when I stupidly let that Lewis Williams go a while back. I can't screw up again! Please get in the car... I have to take you back straight away!" Alan explained. "And I'm sure you're family will be worried about you!"

Vanessa snorted, "No they're not... they don't care! My sisters, yes... but my parents, no. I asked them to stay in Augusta until I'd finished my interview... but, no! My parents were already waiting in my room when I finished! That is the epitome of rudeness right there! If they cared, they would've respected my wishes and waited until I was ready to see them! They're too over protective, that's what they are!"

"I'd be worried about you!" Alan said quietly, quickly clamped his hand over his mouth. He mentally chastised himself for opening his big mouth. The red head certainly didn't need a young rookie like him pining after her with everything she had been through in that cabin.

"What did you say?" Vanessa called out.

"Nothing!"

"You said something!"

Alan shook his head self-deprecatingly, "I didn't say anything important. I never do."

Rolling her eyes, Vanessa turned around and started walking away at pace, her arms once again crossed over her chest protectively.

"Where are you going?!"

"Don't know, don't care!"

"Vanessa, wait!" He fought internally before coming to a decision. Alan sighed heavily, then tossed the set of car keys near Vanessa, landing not far from her grazed, dirty feet. "You might not care, but I care. Look, you have the keys to my car... noone else has ever driven her bar me since I bought her. You're in charge. Just don't leave."

The red head's eyes darted down at the keys near her feet, eventually picking them up off the ground. She began pacing back and forth several steps, as if trying to decide on something. Alan just watched her, thankful she hadn't walked away. Suddenly Vanessa stopped pacing, she looked at the young rookie, "You said something before my family arrived yesterday... what did you mean?"

Alan raised his eyebrows in curiosity, "What do you mean what did I mean?"

"You said you probably understood more than I thought. What did you mean by that?"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!" Alan covered, but his stomach plummeted to the ground. Nonononono, she wasn't supposed to hear that. Damn big mouth, good one Irvine.

"Alan, tell me!"

"I-I... I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Just because alright!"

Stalemate.

"This is ridiculous." Vanessa muttered, turning back around and walking further away, the keys still firmly in her grasp.

"Don't go!"

She turned back around to face the rookie and negotiated, "Tell me what you meant when you said what you said, and I won't go!"

"Look! You won't believe me, just like the last person I told. So why waste each others time?"

"Why wouldn't I believe you?"

"Because it doesn't happen." Alan murmured just loud enough for Vanessa to hear.

The red head shook her head in confusion, "You're talking in riddles and not making any sense!"

Alan stayed silent, purposely looking at the ground to avoid making eye contact with the defense attorney.

"Surely it can't be any worse than what I've been through lately. I was repeatedly sexually assaulted and raped..." She trailed off. Realisation dawned as Vanessa replayed their initial meeting in her mind. It made complete sense now. "And you understand that... because so have you. Is that it?"

The rookie officer slowly raised his head, stuffing a hand in his pocket. For a brief moment he looked like a scared little boy.

The dirty little secret.

Out in the open.

The hazel brown eyes reflected the same knowing empathy they did when they first met, but still he stayed silent.

"H-how long ago? How old were you?"

Tentatively, he raised his hand. 4 fingers and a thumb on display.

"How long for?"

The rookie officer's voice just audible in the short distance, "10 years."

Vanessa heart broke at the revealing and shocking truth. She stayed silent as Alan slowly opened up and told his story in his own time. She knew how hard it was to tell someone what had happened. It took courage and fearlessness to admit having been sexually assault and/or raped because of the stigma associated with it.

"My mom, she drowned just after I turned 5. I saw her die... she fell backwards out of a boat, hit her head on some rocks... so my grandparents looked after me from then on. Grandma and Pop... Grandma, she taught me to cook... I loved cooking with her... and Pop... well he taught me to shoot and hunt... among other things. He'd take me camping every weekend he could... I fell face first in the mud one day... got my jeans, flannel shirt and underwears all dirty and scared off a wild turkey we wanted to catch. Pop told me to 'take 'em off' so he could wash them so it wouldn't stain for Grandma... and so I wouldn't feel silly, he took all his off too... men of the wild, we were!"

"You don't have to say anymore." Vanessa had approached closer, but was still several feet away.

"It's not what you think. He didn't hurt me then, but it was the beginning... a short while later after washing the clothes he said would I like to see a really cool magic trick that only he knew... only men of the wild knew... I said sure, I mean what 5 year old wouldn't want to see a magic trick... but I had to not tell anyone and that he'd show me how to do it too... he ahh... he..." Alan gestured with his fist.

"Masturbated?" Vanessa was standing only a couple of feet away now.

"Yeah... in front of me. He said, for the trick to work properly... we had to say the magic words... 'Watch it rise, watch it grow. But you mustn't tell anyone that you know'..." Alan shuddered at the memory. "After that, it slowly went from there... 'Show Pop the trick he taught you'... 'Do the trick on Pop'... 'Do the trick with Pop'... 'Come sit on Pop's lap and do the trick'... 'No, you're not doing it right, let Pop show you properly'... then it was... 'Where can Pop hide it because it needs to be kept warm?'... it escalated from there."

"He raped you." Vanessa said, it wasn't a question.

Alan shifted over a step as Vanessa mirrored his pose, partially sitting on the hood of the classic car. "Uh-huh. Every time we went camping from then on."

"And you never told anyone."

"The words, remember... But you mustn't tell anyone that you know... It had a double meaning."

Vanessa knew all too well about words and their power after what Lewis had done after she said her words.

Tears pricked his eyes as he continued, "When I got a little older, he said that if I told anyone, they'd die and join Mom and we wouldn't want that to happen... especially Grandma, he knew how much I loved Grandma... how much she meant to me... I didn't know what he was doing was wrong until I was older... I was just a little kid, y'know."

"He broke your trust. It's not your fault."

"I know. Even after I knew it was wrong, he still kept doing it because he could... I didn't know what to do! It wasn't until I was 15... I fought back the only way I knew... I finally said if he ever did it to me again, I'd shoot him... between the eyes if I got the chance... he knew I could do it too because he taught me to shoot... rifles and pistols... I was a much better shot than him... He never touched me again. Couple of weeks later, he died... massive heart attack... Grandma was heartbroken, but I was so happy... I cried with happiness when they lowered his coffin into the ground... dirty old man. After Grandma died after I graduated high school, it was just me on my own. I thought about ending it all... done so a few times over the years... I believed I was damaged, and so screwed up... noone would ever miss me because I had noone... but I wouldn't do it and won't do it... that wasn't the answer. I decided to go to college, then go to the Academy."

"So what did you mean when you said 'it doesn't happen'? And that I wouldn't believe you like the last person?"

Alan took his time before opening up again, "My first real girlfriend in college... she really liked that I wasn't like other guys... not pressuring her for sex... I was so respectful like that she said... I finally worked up the courage and told her one day... she tried to be understanding that day... then one day a few weeks later we were fooling around... getting a bit more hot and heavy than we'd ever had before... I asked her to stop, I wasn't ready... she said I was too old to be a virgin anymore and she'd fix it... make it all better... she'd show me sex could be wonderful... make me forget what Pop had done to me... I told her I didn't want to, not yet... she just told me to lay back and she'd do all the work... I was too scared to make her stop, I didn't want to lose her... I just lay there until she'd finished, I just shut down... like I wasn't even in my own body."

"She raped you too."

The rookie nodded sadly, "Afterwards she said, 'See Alan, men don't get raped... it doesn't happen to them, only ever happens to women'... and I should be over it by now because she made it all better... and I must have wanted and enjoyed it for the way my body reacted to it..."

"Liv told me-"

"Liv?"

"Olivia, the other woman you helped rescue."

"Ah, Detective Benson."

"Yeah. She told me that your body reacts no matter what... it's a natural reaction... because the same thing happened to me in the cabin when Lewis did what he did to me... it's not your fault and it's not my fault either."

The long comfortable silence was broken by Vanessa, "Thankyou."

"For what?" The rookie looked puzzled.

"For having the fortitude to tell me what happened to you. It takes bravery to reveal things like that."

His dimples came out of hiding again as Alan smiled. His old girlfriend had never called it being brave after telling his story. Reflecting on that one time he revealed what had happened during his childhood, his old girlfriend had tried her best to hide her pity for him.

Vanessa drew Alan away from his thoughts, "Can I tell you... something?

"What's that?"

"Can I tell you my story? What happened to me?"

"Do you think you should? I-I mean after having to relive it in your interview today?"

"I think I might find it cathartic to tell someone that... knows... and understands. Does that make sense?"

Alan nodded in agreement, "Yeah, it does."

Liv stood up a moment after Alex got her to sit down, "I can't sit here and wait, Alex! I have to help!"

"I understand Olivia, but how are you going to help? You're in a walking boot, not to mention a hospital gown and scrub pants!"

"I just..." Liv let out a frustrated sigh, sitting back down again. "I now understand what you meant when you said you can't stop thinking like a prosecutor. I can't stop thinking like a cop! I feel so useless right now, and I feel very protective of 'Nessa seeing we've both been through so much together."

"I know it's difficult to step back, Liv. But I trust Mel and her brother will find Vanessa. Who knows, Vanessa might come around the corner in a few minutes. She said she didn't want to see her parents right away... I'd have probably done the same thing and gone for a walk too!"

"I hope you're right, sweetie." Olivia replied, totally unaware she was rubbing her thumb over her ring on its present home on Alex's finger. Alex noticed but never said a word.

"You know, you've saved my life twice now. I guess I can say you're my knight in shining armour." Vanessa said once she had finished telling Alan what had happened to her.

"I don't think Izaac would've hurt you, but he's the known fire bug in the Winthrop area."

Vanessa wrung her hands together, debating in her mind if she could do what she wanted to do. "I-I... I still owe you a thankyou hug for rescuing me and Liv... I'd like to give that to you now."

"Are you sure? I mean I remember what you said yesterday in your room being wary of men."

"Yeah, I'm sure. I know what Lewis did to me will be with me forever, but I don't want what Lewis did to me to rule my life forever. And if giving a man... you... a thankyou hug is a small step to reclaim my life, then I'd like to take that step now."

He opened his arms and waited for Vanessa to move closer at her own pace. He didn't crush, manhandle or paw her, he just wrapped his arms around her. It felt nice to have strong arms holding her, almost protectively, and not brutishly haul her upstairs as she struggled and viciously pinning her down against a mattress on the floor of the cabin against her will.

It was neither a short hug, or a long hug, but nice hug.

As Vanessa stepped back, for the first time she saw how young the rookie looked. Maybe he looked even younger than he actually was. Babyfaced would be a fair description of Alan Irvine.

"Alan, how old are you?"

"I'm 25... not quite 25 and a half."

Vanessa surreptitiously studied Alan out the corner of her eye as she leant back on the hood of the car again. Her inner monologue working overtime... Such a young man to have been through so much in his short life. Too young really... only 25... but she only dated older men, She... wait, where the hell did that come from?! No, she had her own recovery to focus on, and what her new career path will be. The last thing she should be thinking about right now was being in a relationship. But maybe one day in the future... there was no mistaking, he was rather handsome with that mop of curly hair and those dimples... No, stop that! Stop that right now! Recovery and work... no relationships and no dating. Friends... just friends... only friendship... yeah, that's better. Friendship. She need a friend right now that truly understood.

"You'd better take me back to the hospital now. I don't want you getting in any trouble from your boss and I don't want to get in trouble from her wife." She dangled the car keys in her outstretched hand.

"You can drive if you want, Vanessa... you do know how to drive a push button transmission, right?" Alan said with a grin, the dimples appearing again.

Vanessa ignored the lighthearted jibe, "I thought you said your car was temperamental for... strangers?"

"The Fury... she can be, and she can be feisty too. She's red!" Alan said cheekily, then mentally slapped himself for flirting. That wasn't what Vanessa needed after everything they'd talked about, but he couldn't help it. He was secretly enamoured with the defense attorney, but he knew the best thing would be friendship for Vanessa right now. That sounded good. Friends.

"I understand your car's personality completely. Us red's can be like that!" Vanessa laughed lightly. She pressed the car keys back into the Sheriff Officer's hand, once again feeling how soft, gentle and warm it was against her own. "You drive Alan... I trust you."

"Melanie, did you call Alan?" Kelly asked as they waited near the main entrance to the small hospital.

"No, he's off until Monday remember. I called Brad though, he should be here in a minute."

"So why is Alan's car pulling into the car park? I can recognise that car anywhere."

Alan hopped out the car and went and opened the passenger door for Vanessa as Olivia, Alex, Kelly and Mel all approached the Plymouth Fury.

"Liv!" Vanessa called out and waved as the group of women approached.

"Where'd you go, 'Nessa? We were really worried you were gone." Olivia said as the group arrived at the red classic car.

"I'm really sorry about that. I just needed some time to myself after the interview, and when I heard my parents... I went for a walk. Alan found me wandering and after we had a good talk, he drove me straight here like a gentleman."

"Why didn't you call, let someone know, Alan?" Mel addressed the rookie Sheriff Officer.

"I found her near Carlton Pond, Sheriff."

"Ah, no reception." Mel concluded with a knowing nod of her head. "I have to say that's a fair distance to walk from here!"

"I drove Vanessa back when she was ready. I didn't want to scare or upset her into doing something that she wasn't ready to do. I thought that was the smart thing to do in the situation."

Everyone agreed that Alan's course of action was appropriate. Another car with 2 red haired women pulled up along side Alan's car. Vanessa's fraternal sisters exited.

"Are my parents still here? Ah! Here they come... the welcoming committee. Wait for the tirade." Vanessa muttered as her father approached the group ahead of her mother.

"What are you doing?! Get away from her!" Mr Meyer bellowed, the comment clearly directed at the rookie standing next to Vanessa.

Vanessa rolled her eyes, "Dad!"

"Why are you driving around with my little girl!"

"DAD!"

"Do you even know what she's been through?! And why the hell are you taking her out for cruise around town in your souped up car when she should be with her family!"

"OH MY GOD, DAD! STOP IT!"

"How dare you try and take advantage of my little girl. You're a sad, sick boy!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Dad, you have NO idea what you're talking about! And for the record: YOU disrespected MY wishes."

"They ditched us after a couple of hours in Augusta, 'Nessa. They... well, Dad said they were going back to the motel because they were tired after the shopping we'd did to get you some clothes." The sister called Valerie said.

"They said they'd get a taxi back to Winthrop. It became apparent to the both of us that that wasn't the case when we arrived back at the motel and they weren't there. We came straight here." Veronica added.

Vanessa glared at her father, "Typical! So typical! And you have the audacity to stand there and criticize!"

"You wandered off and didn't let anyone know!" Mr Meyer shot back, trying to justify his actions.

"Do you blame me?! I asked you to stay away until I was ready. I wanted to take some time to myself and not see you straight after the interview, but as soon as I near my room I hear you talking to Mom. That interview was exhausting... mentally, emotionally and even physically! And this now is exhausting me even more! If you hadn't been in my room I wouldn't have left the hospital! You're treating me like a child again!"

Mr Meyer retorted, "You're acting like one! And you ARE our child! You're our little girl!"

"I'm almost 30! Yes, I'm your youngest child, but I'm not your little girl any more! You never treat Veronica or Valerie like they're little girls, they're only 5 years older than me!"

"That's because they're married with their own children!" Mrs Meyer replied.

Vanessa glared incredulously at her father then her mother, "Oh so because I'm not married or haven't given you grandchildren, you treat me extra special?! So what you're actually saying is that if I had a husband and kids I'd be normal and you'd stop treating me the way you have been?! BULLSHIT! You've always treated me like a child because I was born a month premature, now even more so since I was abducted and raped. You can't even fathom how claustrophobic that is! You know what, I was so glad when you left Jersey and moved to Ohio, because for the first time in my life I was able to live my life! Now... you know I've been rescued, so do me a favour and please leave!" Vanessa brushed passed her parents, heading for the front doors of the small hospital.

"Vanessa, wait!" Mr Meyer grabbed his daughter around the wrist to stop her leaving, but Vanessa reeled back in terror and fright. Mr Meyer immediately let go when he saw the look of fear in his daughter's eyes.

Alan spoke up, "Sir, I think you should listen-"

"Don't you 'Sir' me, boy! And I don't have to listen to you!"

"- to your daughter."

The red head turned on her father, "Don't you dare call Sheriff Officer Irvine a boy! Alan is a MAN... and this MAN saved my life... twice! Now you show him the respect he has earnt, and the respect I should have. Mom, Dad, again I love you both, but if you can't do what I've repeatedly asked you to do, then please just go back to Ohio. Now listen very carefully to the next few words that come out of my mouth: I'LL CONTACT WITH YOU WHEN I'M READY! Sheriff, I'm sorry to have caused any trouble. Alex, Liv, I'm sorry for making you worry. Valerie, Veronica and Alan, can you please help me to my room? I'm hungry and tired... today has been very exhausting for me. And Doctor, I think I might need you to check my feet."

Vanessa had visited Olivia in her small hospital room after dinner Friday evening. The red head didn't know if her parents were still in Winthrop or not, she hadn't seen them since she walked back into the hospital after the confrontation. But her sisters were still around for a few more days. Vanessa brought up the subject of her job while they talked. She'd spoken to Olivia a couple of times during their imprisonment in the cellar, and Liv reminded her about talking to Alex about her future job prospects seeing the ADA was more familiar with that side of the law.

Saturday started out great for Olivia, she finally got out of being in hospital underwear and back in to her own panties. It probably wasn't a big thing for some, but underwear that makes you feel like your wearing a diaper, not the best. She wondered if she would have breakthrough bleeding again, Doctor Leonard said it was possibility. She still hadn't decided what to do, but the opportunity of being a mother appealed to her the more she felt the baby move. But everything hinged on the results. Could she really be like her own mother and raise a child conceived through rape if father of the baby was Lewis Williams? What was different was Olivia had Alex Cabot. Someone that loved her, someone that would stand by her, someone that was strong and someone that understood. Olivia was so grateful to have Alex in her life and wanted to show the ADA she was, particularly on Sunday.

"Where's Alex?" Doctor Leonard approached as Olivia waited for the hairdresser to arrive in her hospital room.

"She's taking Cragen to the airport, so she'll be back later. A case has just come up back home... unfortunately it's a revictimisation case. So, seeing I'm off duty for the next 2 months and the other female SVU detective is unavailable right now, there needs to be all hands on deck at the 1-6." Olivia explained to Kelly. Liv wanted to be there for Sarah Walsh, it had been her case originally, but knew it was impossible right now.

"That's ok. I have some important test results that you should know."

"Baby results?"

"No, it's your STI results. All clear." Kelly informed Olivia. "I know you're waiting on those other results, but I'm sure Doctor Smith would have told you that the amnio and paternity tests would take about a week. To be honest, I wouldn't expect them any earlier than Wednesday."

"Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot. It's been a bit intense the last few days for so many different reasons."

Kelly pulled up a chair next to the brunette, "What's on your mind Olivia? Wanna talk?"

"It's nothing really. Well, no that's not true. It's just that the next few days for Alex and I will be very emotional and even more intense than they have been. Especially tomorrow and Tuesday."

"Why would that be?"

"Sunday is the 10 year anniversary of Alex's shooting."

"Tomorrow?! Wow! She told Melanie and I about that after dinner, but she never once mentioned it was so close! And Tuesday?"

"That's the 10 year anniversary of me finding out Alex wasn't dead but was in the Witness Protection Program. It's the day that changed my life..."

Little did either women in the room know at that very moment in time that Tuesday's anniversary would also change Olivia's life again... whether it would change for better or for worse was unknown to anyone, but it would ultimately change her life forever. But that was still 3 days away.

"... So I need your help, Kelly. You sneakily helped Alex surprise me with my room full of flowers, so I was wondering if you could reciprocate the favour?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"I know I'm still in hospital... hopefully for not too much longer, but I'd really like to do something special for Alex. Even if it was just being outside for a few hours with her in the courtyard to take Alex's mind off the day... with Doctor's permission, of course!"

A large grin crept on Kelly's face, "I don't want a wandering patient again, but I think I have an idea. The only problem is we may need to break the law... well, maybe not break, perhaps just bend it a little. What do you think about this?"

The doctor explained her suggestion to the SVU detective. Liv's grin matched the doctor's when Kelly had finished explaining her idea, "I like it! No, I love it! So I have Doctor permission and approval to do this?"

"Your doctor approves 100%!"

"But what about the bending the law bit? How will that work?"

Kelly patted Liv's arm lightly as she stood up, "You leave that to me... I have ways of making Sheriff Melanie Leonard do... anything. I've had her wrapped around my little finger for years!"

The hairdresser looked at the mess Lewis Williams had done to Olivia and tried her best not to cringe. "How would you like your hair to look?"

Olivia didn't need any magazines to know how she wanted her new style to look, she just hoped Alex would like it. She also wondered what Vanessa was going to have done.

"... So if you can wash, cut and style my hair like that? All I ask is that you don't use a hair dryer on a hot setting... particularly around my face. A cooler setting should be fine." Olivia didn't want to explain to the hairdresser that heat like that might trigger her to flashback to what Lewis had done only about a week ago, so it was easier just to ask first.

"Ah, ok. I can do that. Let me work my magic!" the hairdresser smiled.

I will be your knight in shining armour,
Coming to your emotional rescue. ~ The Rolling Stones (Emotional Rescue)

END NOTE: Last call for voting in the poll for Olivia's new hair style on my lookup if you haven't voted already!