Author's note: This chapter contains my pre-written chapter 33.
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Don't forget, ya ain't alone, darlin'
After a breakfast in utter silence and without Scott taking part in it Logan and Jean went upstairs where they put the triplet onto the ground so that they could crawl around and watched how Michael went over to his dog to play with him. "Daddy?" he asked and Logan turned his head towards the boy. "Can I go downstairs to play with him in the garden?"
"Sure, but put a warm jacket on, okay?" this one replied. "And let one of the others know that you're on the outside!" he added when the boy stormed over to his room to get dressed. Logan waited for him and the dog to be gone before he turned towards his wife again. He could say for the first time in his life, at least as far as he could remember, that he felt hurt. Since Scott had reappeared all of a sudden Jean hardly spoke to him or even looked at him for longer than a few seconds. He was determined to change it since he refused to accept that everything he had worked on so hard was just going to hell because of her ex. Walking over to where she stood at the window he reached out to touch her shoulder, but Jean evaded his touch and turned away. "It can't go on like this, Jean," Logan sighed and didn't bother to hide that he was clearly angered by now. If he could he would smash Scott to pieces…
"I know…," she said with a deep sigh and ran both hands through her face. Still, she didn't look happy at all and seeing her like this was pure torture for him. He didn't know how to act around her anymore.
"I know that it is a great shock for ya," he said and shook his head weakly. "But I ain't willin' to let him destroy what we have…" Looking at her from aside while she still stared out of the window he waited for an answer.
Jean watched Scott, who walked through the snow in the garden and gasped briefly as she saw that Michael had just reached the grounds, too. Tearing her eyes away from them she gave Logan, who waited for a reply next to her with crossed arms in silence, a look. "I want to move into your old room…"
Staring at her in disbelief as if she had just turned into a naked Magneto that had proclaimed his eternal love to him Logan's jaw dropped slightly. "What?!" he asked in an almost high pitched voice and ignored the fact that his heart had made a jump. "That dick's back and ya leave me?!"
"No!" she said immediately and shook her head for emphasis.
"Then what?!" Logan demanded to know and tried to keep his voice calm since the triplet had looked up.
"I just have to clear my head for some time," Jean tried to explain but saw that he wasn't convinced at all. "Everything is just too much for me right now. I need some time for myself to work things out… I only need to be alone for a while."
"If ya wanna go back to him say it now," Logan grunted and had his arms still crossed in front of his chest. "Coz I ain't in for any surprises, Jean. So say it now and I let ya go…"
Staring at him in shock and surprise she bit her lip for a second but shook her head. Reaching out she touched his cheek. "I really need to be alone to think only, Logan… That's all." Waiting for his reply, she heard him uttering a sigh before he looked down and finally gave a nod. "Thank you," Jean said barely audible and leant in to give him a brief kiss. She then went over to pack some of her things into a bag.
After she had left, Logan sat down on the bed and ran both hands through his face and hair. Wolverine within his head kept on nagging at him to stop her from leaving and make her come back to where she belonged. But he refused to give in to his primal instincts. He knew if Jean chose Scott over him in the end than there was nothing he could do about it anyway. All he knew was that if that was the case he would leave. He definitely wouldn't stay at the mansion just to watch her with Scott again like he had to in the past. Turning his head as someone touched his leg he tried to give his daughter a weak smile and pulled her up and onto his lap. Kissing her head his eyes stared through everything he saw. If Jean left him, what would he do about his children? He knew he couldn't raise all three of them alone in Canada. He had no means to do so. On the other hand he wouldn't leave them for anything in the world. And he would rather go to hell than let Scott raise his children. Hearing a weak knock on the door Logan turned his head and saw that it was Ororo.
"Hey, is Jean here?" she asked and smiled at Jaden, who crawled over to her.
"No," Logan replied and put Jennifer back onto the ground.
"Do you know where she is then? I need to talk with her about some students."
"She's in my old room."
Hearing it, the weather goddess furrowed her brows and closed the door behind her. "What do you mean with she's back in your old room?" she asked and noticed how unhappy he looked. "Don't tell me she left you!"
"No," Logan shook his head. "She said she needs some time to think… But still I ain't quiet sure about how that will turn out though…"
On the outside Scott still stood in front of a tombstone; his hands buried deep in his pockets and a cynical smirk visible on his lips. His tombstone to be more precisely. Staring at it for minutes he snorted scornfully and shook his head, which he turned to look at something else than his own grave. It's been more than 6 years, he thought, since his life had changed drastically. If he hadn't gone onto that mission back then, if he had seen Juggernaut coming and had reacted faster… Then it would be him who was married to Jean now, he who had raised his child and they would still be happy. Maybe had another child or two… His eyes stopped as he saw a small boy and a dog near the pond and his heart kicked into high gear. He knew instantly that it was his son, his little boy who was joking around with the black Labrador retriever that still seemed to be a pup. Feeling how his heart clenched painfully by the thought of what he had missed with his child, he noticed that something was wrong all of a sudden. Scott walked over to where Michael stood and realized what had happened. The ball with which the boy had been playing was on the upper part of the pond, which was too high for the nearly six year old boy to reach. Wordlessly he got the ball and handed it over to him. "Here," he said with a weak and nervous smile and wondered if his heartbeat was audible to the boy. It had never raced and pounded that strongly before…
"Thanks," the boy muttered and stared at the man with the strange looking glasses in front of him that he knew from the photo album his mother had once shown him.
Not knowing what he could possibly say, Scott nodded at the dog. "What's his name?" he asked and knelt down to stroke over the animal's head.
"Duke," Michael replied and was still watching him. "Daddy and mommy got him for me for Christmas," he added proudly and didn't saw that the man swallowed hard. He kept on looking at the man that was a complete stranger for him for a while, but dared to ask the question he'd wanted to ask since he had seen the man. "You're my father, aren't you?"
Scott's head moved with a jerk and his eyes had widened under his glasses while his jaw dropped. How could the boy possibly know? he asked himself and wanted to say something but no word left his mouth.
"Did your mommy tell you?" he finally managed to say and was once more surprised when Michael shook his head.
The boy looked at the blue ball he kept on turning in his small hands and that was the center of interest of his dog. "Daddy told me," he explained. "He told me that my father had an accident and was now an angel."
Furrowing his brows Scott thought that he had seen a movement from the corner of his eyes and saw Logan standing at the window. The demeanor of the man, meaning arms crossed and eyes narrowed, spoke volumes. He wasn't happy at all to see him with the boy and Scott knew that Logan was able to pick up on everything he and his son said. Still he wouldn't lie. "Yeah, it's true. I am your father…"
"But…," Michael replied and tilted his head a bit. "Where are your wings then?"
The man smiled. "You know…," he began and looked for the right words. "Your mommy and the others thought that I was an angel because I had an accident. I wasn't feeling well for some time and had to sleep for a long time. That's why they thought I was an angel," he tried to explain and received a nod from the boy, who was still occupied with the ball in his hands. "I wish I'd been there for you and mommy…"
"My daddy was," Michael replied and couldn't feel the sharp stitch within Scott's heart at that remark.
Only able to nod, this one looked up at the window again but Logan was gone. "Your daddy…," he began and turned his attention back to the boy, who looked at him for real for the first time. He's so much like me…, Scott thought sadly as he noticed that the boy had inherited his eyes and hair. "…is he good to your mommy and you?"
"My daddy's the best in the whole world," Michael gave back in a tone that gave Scott the impression that he had expected him to know that. Smiling sadly the grown up looked down.
A few days later he walked through the corridors of the mansion. Since he was back he was stuck in his personal hell. Everyone around him acted weird, didn't look longer at him for a few seconds and if he started a conversation he had the impression that the others tried to end it as quick as possible. He also hadn't seen Jean for days and Logan did his best to just ignore him. When he walked past the rec-room he heard Ororo laughing and came closer to see what was going on. He watched her sitting on a blanket, surrounded by toys and books and three children. He guessed that they were one year old or younger. "Hey…," he greeted her and hoped that she wouldn't turn him down as quickly as Bobby had done on the day before.
"Hey," she said back and he was relieved to see her smiling.
He ignored the fact that he figured out it was a forced one and entered the room. His hands were buried in his pockets and he looked at the children more closely. "Did you guys have nothing to do while I was gone?" he asked jokingly and hoped she would relax under his presence a bit more.
Not knowing what to say she shrugged. "No,…not really…," Ororo replied and smiled as Jaden uttered a cry of joy just because he had managed to hit his sister with a ball. "Sweety, it was just a ball," she tried to soothe the girl, who had been about to start crying. "It can't have hurt." Having watched the whole scene Scott still tried to figure out who the parents of those children were. The boys had thick dark, nearly black hair while the girl's looked rather blonde to him. If he had to guess he would think that Peter and Warren had become fathers, but imagining the two boys with babies was too ridiculous in the end. "How are you doing?" he heard Ororo asking and awoke from his daydream.
"Pulling through," he shrugged. "You?"
"Fine actually," she said and kept her eyes low.
"Would you stop this please?" he pleaded and she gave him a surprised look.
"What?"
"Acting as if I was air or some kind of stranger that no one dares to look at because you could drop dead if you did so?" he said and shook his head. "It hurts, you know?"
"Well what do you expect us to do?" she replied. "You were gone for over six years, we thought you were dead and buried you and then you suddenly reappear. It's a shock, Scott. And shock is the biggest understatement possible!"
"Right, it's my fault, I get it!" he snapped and got up. "I'm sorry for still being alive!"
"No one said this!" Ororo gave back. "But think about us, too. We mourned your death, we blamed ourselves for it and then you are back. It's hard to get used to it. I nearly always get a heart attack when you walk through the door because it still seems to be so unreal that you are still alive…" She shook her head. "I don't mean being rude but give me and the others some time to adjust to you being back…"
"I'm sorry, it's just…," he sighed. "All I wanted was to come back home after waking up from that coma and regaining my memories and all that has happened up to now is me feeling hurt. Jean is married to Logan, Logan is the father of my child, my child doesn't know me… Do you know what that feels like?"
"I know it's hard. But you can't expect that Jean…"
"That she what? That she stays alone for the rest of her life?" he snapped. "I would have accepted any man on her side, 'Ro, and you know that but not him! Never him!"
"Why not?" she asked and got up to face him. "Do you know how much Logan has helped Jean? Do you know how devastated she was after your death? She nearly lost her baby, your son, after getting to know about another mission we went on shortly after we lost you and thanks to Logan reacting so fast your son is still alive. He had helped and supported her so much during her pregnancy and afterwards…"
"Yeah, to get her laid," Scott hissed.
"That's not true, Scott!" Ororo shot back. "It's what Hank and I thought about him, too, but Logan has proven that he really cares for Jean and your son. And if you thought about it without being influenced by your feelings of hate, you would be grateful."
"Grateful for what?" he asked back and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Grateful for him stealing away my family?"
"Logan didn't steal Jean!" she snapped. "It was her own free will to start a relationship with Logan. What I meant was that you should be grateful for Logan accepting your son, Scott! Because from the way you just reacted I assume that you would have never accepted Logan's child if the whole situation had been vice versa."
"What do you mean?!" he asked her angrily.
"I mean that Logan took care of Michael despite his hate for you. He accepted the child of another man, raised him and loves him as if Michael was his own. He never said It's Scott's so to hell with it. A thing you obviously would have done," Ororo said through clenched teeth. "Logan did it without being asked to do so and he helped Jean through the hardest time of her life without asking for anything in return, so how dare you thinking so low of him?! He acted as the father, without him Michael would have spent his first years with one parent only. Logan didn't have to do it. He could have ignored your son but he didn't and even adopted him, so that he could take care of him if something happened to Jean! Think about what you say, Scott!" With that she turned around to lie back down on the blanket; anger clearly written on her face.
Not knowing what to say and feeling rather furious than anything else, Scott nodded at the children. "Whose are them?"
"What do you think?" Ororo snapped.
"Well enlighten me!" he shrugged. "Looks like Peter's and Warren's kids if you ask me…"
"Don't be ridiculous!" she said and shot him a glare. "The triplet is Jean's and Logan's of course." Having said this she turned her attention back to the three children and left Scott to deal with the next big shock.
A bit later he knocked on Logan's old room door. It didn't take long and Jean opened it; clearly shocked to see him standing in front of it. Ignoring this fact as good as he could, he heaved a deep breath. "Hey, can we talk?" Receiving a silent nod from her Scott entered the room and heard her closing the door behind him again. He watched how Jean walked past him and behind the bed to bring space between them. It was obvious that she didn't feel comfortable with him being here since she had her arms wrapped around herself. A sign, as he still knew, that told everyone she was either feeling nervous or scared. "I've talked with Michael," Scott began and instantly Jean looked up with widened eyes. "Did you know that Logan told him I was his father?" he asked but she shook her head. Nodding in response he felt how an uncomfortable silence filled the room next. Neither he nor she knew what to say.
Remaining where she was, Jean kept her eyes on the ground. She still couldn't bear looking at him. "How are you doing?" she finally managed to say and he gave a short snort.
"What do you think?" he asked her a bit too angrily and crossed his arms.
"Scott…," she sighed but he cut her off.
"Jean, why did you do this?!" Scott demanded to know and she didn't have to ask what he was talking about.
"You were dead!" Jean replied and shook her head. "They looked for you and couldn't find you."
"And then you just throw yourself at Logan?" he asked cynically.
"That's not true!" she tried to soothe him. "Logan has helped me and has been there for me."
"Well of course he has," Scott laughed. "Now he finally has what he's always wanted..."
She shook her head. "It's not like that."
"No?" he asked with anger clearly audible in his voice. "So you did it voluntarily then?" He watched her running both hands through her face with a sigh. "How long did it take him to get you into his bed, hm?" he asked even if he didn't come to hurt her. But by now he was too frustrated and angry to be able to stop himself.
"Would you cut it off?" Jean asked as he suddenly came around the bed and grabbed her arms. About to pull away she noticed that he was crying.
"Do you know what this is doing to me?!" Scott asked through clenched teeth and made her look down. He cupped her face to force her to look into his eyes again while he admitted how he truly felt. "After waking up and remembering everything all I'd wanted was to see you and our child again, Jean! And then I come back and you're not only living with him, you're married to him, my son calls him daddy and doesn't even know me and then you've three more children with him and everyone tells me to keep away from you, that I have no rights anymore. No one asks or can understand what this is doing to me!" he said and swallowed hard, not caring that he was crying openly. "Do you possibly understand what this feels like?! I wish I was dead for real or would have never regained my memory or woken up than seeing you with him!"
Biting her lip and crying, too, Jean heaved a deep breath. "I am sorry…," was all she could manage to say.
"Do you have no feelings at all for me anymore?" Scott said despairingly.
"I have," she replied. "And that's the problem."
"Then leave him!" he pleaded and stroked over her cheeks. "Come back to me…"
But Jean shook her head. "I can't…"
"Why not?!"
"I am married, Scott. Logan and I have a family. I would never do this to him," she said and felt how her heart began to ache. She couldn't stand seeing him in so much pain. "And I love him…"
"More than me?" he asked and Jean looked down.
"I'm still too confused…," she mumbled and he nodded.
"So you don't…," Scott whispered. Before she was able to say something he'd pulled her into a despairing and passionate kiss that expressed how much he still loved her.
When Jean broke it to fill her lungs with fresh air again, she froze on the spot and her eyes grew wide. "Logan…," she gasped as she became aware of her husband who stood with a shocked Ororo next to him in the door to the room. Her heart began to race with fear. She didn't have to read his mind to figure that Logan was fuming; the hate and fury was too visible in his eyes and demeanor. Realizing that she was still in Scott's arms she quickly let go of him. "Logan, I…," Jean began in a desperate attempt to explain what couldn't be explained, but all he did was to shake his head and leave. "Please wait!" she called after him and heard from afar how he slammed a door shut with a force that sent it out its hinges. Realizing what she had just done, the redhead ran both hands through her face.
"Charles has just picked up on Magneto. He's about to attack the city so get ready," Ororo told them in a chilly voice that mirrored her disgust and disappointment in them. Especially in her... When Jean looked up again her best friend had left, too…
We're close to the end I think. I still have some scenes pre-written but I think that it will be three more chapters or so. But you know me. LOL Sometimes a new idea just sneaks into my head and then it'll be more. ; ) I hope you guys liked this chapter here. Please review!!Oh and: I did the beta of this chapter this time. Would you be so nice and let me know if there are still so many mistakes in it? You can also mail me, my email is visible here. To those who don't know: English isn't my mother tongue. I'm German. ; ) See ya!!