Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Story Time

Naturally, Axel opened a dark corridor and we ran. I was still tired, like always, but already I felt a little stronger. Maybe some of my weakness was just an illusion. If I got better mentally, maybe I would feel better physically. They said that sort of stuff to depressed people, though I wouldn't call my state of mind 'depression.' I didn't know what to call it.

The corridor brought us to an unfamiliar, temperate world. Having no further plans, we made camp right away. Fresh air was almost shocking, and sitting next to the campfire felt good.

"Axel?" I'd closed my eyes- after nothing but white walls for over a month, any other color was shocking. "Haven't they noticed we're gone?"

"We've only been gone about an hour, so I'm not sure. The tracking signals have been scrambled for days, so they won't find us, hopefully."

"I know, but…"

Axel raised an eyebrow at me. "But what?"

"But… what if they're choosing not to look for us? Yet?"

"Why would they do that?"

"I don't know. It's like when you went AWOL the first time around. Xemnas accepted you back into the fold right away- but why? Do you think he's waiting for us to come back?"

Axel shook his head. "Myde, the Organization isn't really the Organization anymore. Over half our members are gone, and Xemnas is no longer fit to be leader. If we went back, it won't be like it was before, because we're no longer unwaveringly loyal to him. We're on a different side. He's going to wait and see what we do, and if he gets nothing, there's no doubt he would send out Nobodies to look for us."

I nodded. "I thought so."

There was a moment of silence.

"What do we do now?" I put my suspicions into words. I knew what I wanted to do- find Sora again and help him in any way- but I was too weak to fight, and I didn't feel I could face Xemnas anymore. I'd seen his true wrath, and I'd underestimated him. "I mean, I… I want to go back to Sora, but… do you think I can?"

"What do you mean?"

I shrugged. "I'm sick and weak, and the only thing Sora wants is to fight Xemnas. I'm not ready for that. Maybe… maybe I'll just go to Hollow Bastion and hang there for a while, until I feel a bit better."

"I don't know either," he told me honestly. "I thought that the second I was free I'd have a plan." Axel shook his head.

"Don't you want to look for your Heartless?"

"Yes and no. It might not even exist anymore, technically. I don't need it."

"Why not?"

He smiled a bit wryly. "Maybe we thought of Nobodies wrong. I can feel, you know."

There was no other way to explain some of his reactions. "True."

"I could search, just to fill the time, but if it turns out to be a failure, it's not a big deal." Axel looked puzzled a moment. "Man, never thought I'd ever have to consider life out of the Organization. I just thought that eventually… I'd…"

"Fade?" I finished for him. "Yeah, me too, until, well…" I put a hand on my chest. "Don't you think we can just go back to our old lives?" I asked. Mine seemed easy, but there was so much I had to fix.

He laughed kind of sarcastically. "I suppose you can, but as for me, I've got nothing to go back to."

I looked at him, kind of startled. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not a good person," Axel said, seeming surprised I didn't know that. "Isn't it obvious? I've been trouble since the day I was born. When we met, you just never seemed to notice it, because you were too young. Those times I stopped coming out to the ocean? It's not like I got too old to hang out with you- but for the record, I kind of was. Me at seventeen with someone who was just twelve? Not a good idea anyway. No, the reason I never came back was because my parents kicked me out. Not like it matters. They couldn't take care of me anyway."

I stared at him for a moment. Axel had never told me about his past- not anything, not ever. "Why have you decided to tell me this now?"

He shrugged. "I really don't know."

I stared at him. He'd said everything that was needed and then some, but I couldn't help but ask, "Axel, is it time you told me a story?"

"I guess so. Now's a good a time as any. Besides, it's better to do this than try to figure out what's next."

"Maybe it'll help."

"I highly doubt it."

Silence again.

"Well, Axel, why did your parents kick you out?"

He smiled like I'd reminded him of a really good prank. "I used to do a lot of stupid things. I stayed out late a lot, took joyrides, skipped school, built a couple of bonfires that got out of hand. Occasionally I'd shoplift, vandalize, and other crap like that. I undermined anyone's authority. I liked breaking rules. It made me feel powerful, like I could do anything. My parents were not good people, either. They didn't help the way I turned out. I only wanted power so much because I wanted to pay them back for the way they treated me when I was younger." When I opened my mouth, he added, "you can guess that for yourself.

"The reason they kicked me out was because I joined a gang."

I'd heard of gang activity being rampant in the cities on our world, but I'd never experienced it firsthand or heard the truth about it. I'd always just imagined them as lawbreakers- those who wreck parks and beat up kids. I never understood what really went on.

"Now I never exactly planned on that myself, but something changed one day. I was in eighth grade and was suspended for getting into a fight with someone. They sent me to the suspension room, and because I was there so often, I knew all the regulars. But someone new was there that day." His smile was a bit smug. "I bet you can guess who that is."

I thought a moment. "Someone I know? Who?"

"His name was Isa Thornton."

"Wait… Saix?" I stared for a moment.

"The very same. Then he was a total suckup- great grades, every teacher loved him. So naturally, I had to know what he could do to get himself suspended- especially with such a great record. And when I asked, he smiled and told me what he'd done in this quiet voice of his- he and his friend issued a bomb threat. Now, the friend was expelled, because it was the friend's idea, but Isa was still caught in the crossfire. I still didn't know the kid had it in him. We talked mostly through notes the entire day. By the end of my suspension, we were best friends.

"Isa and I stuck together no matter what. We did all our usual crap- vandalize some more, beat up kids who got on our nerves, tried to womanize. Isa kept his good boy cover while I was just my usual self, but we still got away with a good load of shit.

"We kept it up all throughout high school, and barely got into trouble. The only reason I didn't drop out was because he was still in school. Things only started to get really serious during the first year of college."

I counted in my head- Axel was five years older than me, and had been a Nobody five years as well. So he had been nineteen, the same age I was now. "What happened then?"

"There were gangs galore in the city where our school was, but there were two top dogs- the Hunters and the Demons. They were constantly at war, almost literally. Each gang had dozens- even hundreds, and they were always in the news for having killed each other. Now, Isa was close friends with someone pretty high up in the Hunters' ranks, and he told me one day that he could get me in too- after telling me that he was joining.

"I was a rebel. I wanted to be part of the group, to rise in fame or infamy within that group, to have power- that's when I first felt darkness, even if I didn't know it or use its power.

"I'm not saying that everyone in the gangs were bad, because they weren't. But whenever someone joined, their family got caught up in it too, causing hundreds upon hundreds of people to become involved, which only deepened the feud.

"The initiated us in, only to right after tell us the truth about this gang- that they wanted every one of the Demons dead, and that the Demons felt the same about us. It was just senseless violence, really. Myde, see this?" He brushed some hair away from his jugular. I had to lean in uncomfortably close to see what he meant- there was a scar there, thin and no longer than a fingernail. "This is what they gave to each of us. It symbolized our unity. If someone did something the gang didn't like, all the others could take him out.

"Isa and I were closer, though. He gave himself his scar- he felt the darkness, too- and I got my tattoos, which symbolized our brotherhood. Isa made a plan that would get us to the top, but not before I learned what this was really like.

"Well," Axel took a deep breath, "Before I get to this next part, I just want to ask you not to judge me."

"I'm not," I said. I was too absorbed in the story to really have it sink in.

"You know I've… killed people, right?"

I felt a jolt and instinctually moved away from him. But I did know- at least subconsciously- and I knew he was reformed now. "Y…yeah."

"The Hunters and Demons constantly pecked at each other," Axel continued, "and a Demon did something that really pissed the Hunters off. So for my first missions, because I was always so agile and quiet whenever we'd do something stupid like steal, they chose me for a 'special' mission." He paled a bit. "I never learned what this Demon did, and the Hunters already killed him, but their thirst for Demon blood wasn't quite quenched. So they chose me- by Isa's request, no less, to go kill the Demon's girlfriend, who'd recently given birth to a baby girl." He was growing pale.

"Axel, you can stop…"

He didn't. "She was the first kill," he muttered. "Isa always said the first time's the worst. And he was right. It was horrible, like something was ripping my soul in half." He looked at me, eyes kind of watering- I realized that Axel might actually cry, and that thought baffled me. "Do you know what? The others, they congratulated me! They rewarded me!" He laughed. "And somewhere along the lines, I just stopped caring. I'd go off and kill a Demon or a Demon's relation at least once a week. I stopped feeling.

"All the while, Isa and I climbed in the Hunters' ranks. It was around the time he was almost at the top when someone heard our real names- we all had fake ones as a cover- and exposed us to the police.

"By then I'd realized the shit I'd gotten myself into and tried to salvage my life. But it was too late. For weeks I ran from the authorities, and when I finally found somewhere safe to hide, I knew I'd demolished everything, because I just wanted some power. I was so depressed. I stayed out late at night, too young to drink, but trying to find my own ways to relieve what I felt, even though I deserved it. I met a drug dealer, and would have done drugs myself, but the Heartless found me first."

I waited for him to say more, but he didn't, just stared out into the distance with glassy eyes. The only thing I could think of to say was, "But if you became a Nobody shortly after, what happened to Isa?"

Axel smiled. "He went insane on the night of the full moon and tried to kill himself, but only succeeded in piercing his heart, which was enough to give birth to his Nobody. I think that's how he got his powers."

"And how did you get yours?"

The smile was even wider. "Arson. That, and I tried to burn a Heartless with a lighter when it stabbed me."

I swallowed heavily, but even as it sank it, I felt no bizarre emotional response to Axel's story, thank god. He'd only told me how he'd become a Nobody.

But… he'd killed people. I didn't think I could handle taking a life. And him, he'd taken dozens, whether on orders or not.

"I was really fucked up," Axel muttered. "But… I'm kind of glad, you know? Because of this I was able to sort myself out and get away from Saix. The question is, though…"

"What now?" I finished for him. "Axel, I… I think I'm going to go to Hollow Bastion. You can come with me."

"Maybe… but… I want to find my Heartless."

"But… won't the guilt kill you?"

He looked at me, surprised. "I can already feel. If this is the orientation, I think I can handle the real thing, no?" He shook his head. "The important thing is that I'm starting to do good things now. I can never fix all the lives I've ruined," he shuddered, "but this is a start."

I smiled for the first time since he'd began talking. "So you're going to do it, then? Become human?"

"I think so."

"I just have a question."

"Sure."

"What is our homeworld called?"

"You forgot all about it?"

"Just the name."

"Kaichou," he informed me.

There were several minutes of silence. I yawned and realized how tired I really was. Axel's story had taken some time to tell. "I'm going to bed," I told him through a yawn.

"I'll be here," he said.

I curled up and just let myself drift.

Unfortunately, Axel's story sunk in then, and I couldn't stop the nightmares.

Whoa! Okay, this chapter would have been out earlier in the night, but I had to rewrite it because the other version was too short and Axel was way OOC. Speaking of which, I mostly inferred his past.

While, according to BBS, Isa and Lea live in Radiant Garden, I can't go witht that because Demyx lives on a different world and I referenced them being friends as humans. So, I had to scrap that small bit of canon.

Honestly, this chapter is interesting, but filler. Nothing was really accomplished. And yes, I made up the names of the gangs. I was going to reference Li the Twilight Knight's story Second Circle and use the names Seekers and Angels, but I'm satisfied with the names I chose (I think they should have been Demons instead, no?). By the way, go read Second Circle. It is awesome.

Oh, guess why I chose the last name Thornton for Isa.

Because I'm going to be on vacation when the exact date of the next update will be, I'm going to be posting chapter twenty-six a week early, due to the fact that I don't know whether I will have wifi or not where I'm going. However, I have to get my six reviews! If I don't, I won't update until I get back from Florida, which will be about three weeks from now.
And we're reaching the two hundred mark! Thanks everyone, you're so awesome! We're four chapters early, too, I expected two hundred by chapter twenty-nine.

I apologize for the long author's note. Only two more things to do- thank you Sora Tayuya, Zemby, kitkit11183, PurpleTango, -JansenFriedh827-, Kai-Alaric, Ravenr20, and Sandninjanaru for reviewing last chapter.

Next update: Approximately July 29