It wasn't until they were getting ready the next morning that Maura realized they hadn't talked about how they would tell Frost and Korsak they were together. Stopping mid-stroke as she brushed her hair, she stared at her reflection for a moment and took a deep breath to calm the sudden panic. Realizing Jane was probably in the kitchen, she debated going to find her, before balking at the idea of interrupting her morning routine half-done. Rolling her eyes at herself in the mirror, she went back to brushing her hair and yelled out the bathroom door. "Jane, could you come here for a moment?"
Getting a vague response, Maura got ready to put her brush down and go find her, when Jane walked into the bedroom, still in her pajamas and sipping coffee. "Yeah, do you need help with something?"
Fidgeting slightly with the handle of her brush as she set it down, Maura forced her hand to still. Taking a deep breath she shook her head and leaned against the vanity. "No. Not exactly. I just realized we never discussed how, or when, we'd tell Vince and Barry about our relationship. Do you want to tell them as soon as we get there? Together? Separately? Over lunch? Do you want to make sure no one else can overhear? I just, I don't like not having a plan. If you have something in mind, that's acceptable, but I don't think we should leave until we have a basic idea of how we're going to tell them."
Setting her coffee down on the dresser with a chuckle, Jane walked over and wrapped her arms around her. "Take a deep breath. It's ok. We can work out all the details you want. I hadn't really thought about it. I guess I thought we'd just wait until a good opportunity came up. Ok, let me think." Reaching around the doorway to grab her coffee, she leaned against the wall and took a sip, thinking. "Ok, well, I think we should tell them at the same time. It's only fair. I'd rather not have the entire station listening in on our conversation, so maybe over lunch. I'm sure if I ask them to come with us, they'll be too curious to even bother asking why. Sound like a plan? If I tell them I'm paying, there's no way they'll turn down free food."
Maura smiled and gave Jane a quick kiss before turning to start putting on her make up. "That sounds good. Thank you. You can finish your breakfast now, so you can get dressed."
Rolling her eyes, Jane didn't move. "You going to tell me why you were so freaked out? We didn't have a real plan about how to tell my family, and it didn't seem to bother you. So, what's different?"
Putting her make up back down, Maura sighed and clasped her hands together in front of her, before smoothing them over her dress and finally resting them flat on the vanity counter. "You know I don't have many friends. Other than you, Vince and Barry are the only friends I have, that I see on a regular basis. Andre and Paul are friends, but it's different. I know Andre and Paul will be happy for us. If Vince or Barry react negatively, then I've lost a friend, and have to see them everyday, and face that rejection again. You'll have lost a friend and partner, and could end up injured do to inaction, hesitation, or inadequate back up. There's so much we both could lose."
Setting her coffee down and wrapping Maura in another hug, Jane kissed her hair and held her. "It'll be ok. I know Korsak will be ok with it, and I'm almost completely positive Frost will be. They may be surprised, but they won't disapprove, or hate us. You saw how they both reacted to Paul and Andre. They didn't judge them. If you really think about it, do you think they would judge either of us? Have either of them ever given you any reason to think they might object to someone they know being gay?"
Burying her face in Jane's neck, Maura took several deep breaths before pulling back far enough to look at her, and shook her head. "You're right. I know you are. It's just hard not to fear the worst. I know it stems, at least partially, from the way my parents reacted to discovering my gender. I know it's illogical to let that experience color my perceptions of the present, but it's hard not to. After all, we are shaped by our past experiences. I'm ok. I just need to remind myself that people can be openly accepting and supportive. After all, your family didn't hesitate to accept our relationship."
Giving her a quick kiss on the temple, Jane smiled. "It's ok to be scared. If you want to try to feel them out, to see how they'd react to the news, before telling them, that's ok. This isn't just about me being comfortable enough to tell people. You're just as much a part of this, as I am."
Maura smiled and pulled back, turning back to the mirror. "No, I want to tell them. I want to tell everyone, but that's impractical. I'm ok, now. I'm still a little nervous, but I'm not afraid of their reactions. Neither of them has ever given me reason to suspect that that would react badly to the idea of a friend being in a homosexual relationship. My fear was irrational, and I know that, but I can't always control my immediate emotional response to a situation."
Laughing and pulling her close for a quick kiss, Jane swatted Maura's ass lightly and started toward the bathroom door. "Never change, ok? I like you just the way you are."
Smiling to herself, she watched Jane leave, probably heading back to the kitchen. Noticing the cup of coffee sitting nearby, she rolled her eyes and counted silently to herself. Not even thirty seconds later, Jane walked through the bedroom door and started looking around. Pointing silently, Maura chuckled when Jane picked up her forgotten coffee, gave her a kiss, and left, again. Shaking her head, she went back to getting ready for work.
Maura decided to stop for coffee and donuts on the way to work. Texting Jane, to let her know she'd be a little later than expected, Maura stopped, making sure everyone's preferred flavor was present in the variety of donuts she chose.
Balancing the box in one hand, and drink tray in the other, Maura smiled and nodded at the uniform who quickly opened the door to the station and held it for her. Pushing the elevator button with her elbow, she smiled to herself on the way up. When she saw Jane sitting at her desk, her smile grew. Setting the donuts on the edge of Jane's desk, she quickly handed out the coffees before opening the box and walking around so Frost and Korsak could pick one out, before grabbing one for herself and leaning against the edge of Jane's desk.
Washing down his bite of donut, Korsak nodded to Maura in thanks. A few minutes later, nothing more than an exchanging of greetings and thanks had happened, and Korsak snorted quietly. "So, Doc, you going to tell us what lunch is about? Jane won't say, just offered to pay if we'd agree to come. So, what's going on?"
Seeing Jane's eye roll, Maura straightened her posture and raised an eyebrow as she looked at him. "If you'd prefer not to eat with us, then that's acceptable. We felt that it would be nice to treat you both to lunch."
Frost glared and threw a stress ball at Korsak, then gave Maura a small smile. "Ignore him. We would be happy to go to lunch with you, since Jane's paying, and all. I, at least, know better than to question free food."
Throwing the stress ball back, which Frost easily caught, Korsak snorted and shook his head. "Sure, we'll go to lunch, with you guys. I guess I can wait a few hours to find out what's so important."
Rolling her eyes, Jane ignored him and addressed Maura. "Do you want me to call you, at lunch time, or are you just going to come up?"
It only took Maura a moment of though to decide. "I don't have anything pressing. As long we don't get a case, I'll be finalizing autopsy reports and taking care of paperwork, so it'll be easy for me to keep an eye on the time. I'll just come up. We can decide on an agreeable place to eat, then."
Getting a nod from Jane, Maura smiled and nodded to everyone before heading for the elevator.
When Maura walked into the squad room, just before lunch, she found Jane and Korsak arguing over where they should eat lunch. Jane was insisting that since she was paying, he had no right to argue. Korsak was refusing to eat sushi. Rolling her eyes, and catching Frost's amused look, Maura walked up to stand between them, setting her purse on Jane's desk and raising an eyebrow at her.
After several seconds of Maura standing and staring at her, Jane finally sighed and slumped back in her chair. "Fine. We don't have to go to the sushi place. I was just trying to expand his horizons. Isn't that what you called it when you dragged me there, the first time?" When Maura's expression didn't change, Jane sighed again. "Fine. I was just giving him a hard time, and we all know it. Are you happy, now?"
Biting the inside of her cheek to stifle a smirk, Maura waited a moment before nodding. "Yes, I believe I am." Turning to Korsak, she let herself smile at him. "Vince, we'll go to the diner down the block, unless you or Barry have an alternate suggestion."
Chuckling, he leaned back in his chair, scooting it back so he could see Jane around Maura. "Hear that, Janie? The Doc says we're going to the diner, like I suggested, in the first place. Aren't you going to argue with her?"
Raising her hand to give him the finger, she quickly ran it through her hair, instead, when Maura looked over her shoulder. Grumbling quietly, Jane glared at Korsak before rolling her eyes. "No, I'm not going to argue with her. I know better, than that. And don't call me Janie. Now, are we going to go to lunch, or what?"
Laughing, the men both stood and grabbed their things. As they headed toward the elevator, Korsak watched Jane out of the corner of his eye. "So, Doc, you wanna tell us what this is about, yet? It is lunch time." When she gave him an exasperated look, he shrugged and kept walking. "Hey, it was worth a try."
They made pointless small talk until the waitress had taken their orders and brought their drinks. Resting his elbows on the table, Korsak stared at them. Glancing at Maura, Jane realized they hadn't talked about this part. Giving a mental shrug, she decided to just use the same method she'd used the night before. Reaching over, she wrapped her hand around Maura's, on top of the table.
Again, she didn't get a chance to say anything, before there was a reaction. Korsak guffawed loudly and swatted Frost's chest with the back of his hand, before holding it out, palm up. "Pay up."
Watching Frost dig a twenty out of his wallet, Jane and Maura shared a confused look. Rolling her eyes, Jane sighed. "Don't tell me, you think we've been together for awhile, and are just now telling you."
Korsak waved a dismissive hand, not looking up while he tucked the money away into his wallet. "Nah. I figure it's pretty new. You guys aren't as good at hiding it, as you think you are. The kid should know better than to bet against a seasoned detective."
For several moments Jane and Maura looked at each other, trying to figure out what they'd done to tip him off. Taking pity on them, Korsak chuckled and shook his head. "I think you forgot that the morgue is all windows. I was coming down to find you, the other day, and saw you guys, so I went back upstairs. Frost tried to convince me that I was seeing things, but I'm not that old."
Still confused, Jane shrugged. "Ok, what, exactly, did you see? It's not like we were making out in the morgue, or something."
Laughing harder, Korsak shook his head. "I don't think either of you realized it happened. You had your backs to the windows, looking at something on the Doc's computer. I was about to walk in, when she leaned back against you and you put your hand on her, umm, bottom. I didn't watch for more than a couple seconds, but neither of you seemed to realize where your hand was, or act like it didn't belong there, so I went back upstairs. Figured it was safer than interrupting whatever you were doing."
Thinking for a few moments, Maura's eyes widened in realization, before narrowing in confusion. "I know the day he's talking about, but I don't remember your hand being anywhere unprofessional. I was letting you read an email from Andre, remember? That's the only time we were standing together at the computer in the morgue, instead of in my office. Vince, are you sure Jane's hand was where you think it was? I would've made her move it, had I noticed, and I'm sure I'd notice if her hand was, indeed, venturing too far south."
Snorting at their confusion, Korsak looked toward the counter where the waitress was coming from the kitchen with their food. "Yeah, well, like I said, I don't think either one of you noticed. I know what I saw. If you were wearing pants, Jane's hand would've been in the back pocket."
Conversation paused as the waitress passed out their food and they started eating. The longer the silence lasted, the tenser Maura become. Finally, she took a deep breath and broke it. "Barry, you haven't said anything. I hope you will remain our friend, and Jane's partner, even if you don't approve of our relationship."
Looking up sharply, Frost choked on his food and started coughing. Covering his mouth and glaring when Korsak started thumping him on the back, he finally stopped coughing and wiped his watering eyes. Meeting her sad and concerned gaze, he smiled and shook his head. "Do you really think I disapprove? I thought Jane, at least, would know better. I told her, when we became partners, that I didn't care if she was gay. I was quiet because I was hungry, and pissed I lost a bet. I figured you guys have been friends for so long that, if you were going to end up together, it would've happened before now. I mean, you've been friends for years. What changed?"
Sharing a look, Jane gave a small shrug and nod to let Maura know it was up to her to explain. Taking a deep breath, she grasped Jane's hand under the table, getting a reassuring squeeze. "You're really ok with us being a couple?" Getting a smile and nod, in response, she relaxed and smiled back. "Thank you. Both of you. It means a lot to us that you approve. As for what changed, it was several things. Probably the most relevant to your question is that, until recently, I was honestly unaware Jane was interested in women, and she was unaware of my ignorance."
Holding up a hand, Korsak quickly finished chewing and swallowed. "Wait. The Doc didn't know you're gay? How did that happen? I know you don't really advertise it, but you've been best friends for years. Isn't that the kind of things friends share?"
Jane grimaced guiltily. "Yeah, but I didn't realize I hadn't told her. I'm just so used to not talking about it, I didn't realize I hadn't talked about it. I felt like crap when I realized it, and it took me forever to find a way to bring it up. I mean, it's not like I could just blurt out, 'Maura, I like women,' after all this time."
Giving a vaguely understanding nod, Frost pointed back and forth between them with a french fry. "So, how long HAVE you been together? Do you want us to keep this quiet?"
Smiling at Jane, Maura answered. "We've been together for a week, and you don't need to keep anything quiet. While we're not making a point to tell anyone but you and Jane's family, we're not interested in trying to hide our relationship. If someone asks, you are free to answer. All that really matters, is that our friends and Jane's family are happy for us."
They ate in silence for several minutes, before Frost decided to ask a question he'd been worrying over. "I know you don't talk about your family, much, but don't you want them to be happy for you?"
Closing her eyes, Maura smiled faintly when Jane wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. Taking several deep breaths, she opened her eyes and gave Jane a reassuring nod, then turned to Frost. "My father effectively disowned me, years ago, when I refused to live the life he had picked out for me. I haven't had any contact with him, since then. My mother is more understanding, but she's still not able to completely accept all of who I am. We'll tell her about our relationship, at some point, but it's not something I feel an urgent need to do. I stopped seeking their approval, long ago."
Nodding, he let the subject drop. They finished their meals mostly in silence. When the waitress cleared away their empty plates, Frost rested his elbows on the table and leaned closer. "For what it's worth, I'm happy for you guys. I think you're perfect for each other. You're the only one who can get Jane to do anything, without saying a word, and she's the only person I've seen get away with making you guess, at anything. You're good for each other. You make each other happy."
Wiping her eyes, Maura smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you, Barry. That means a lot. I'm lucky to be able to call you my friend. You, too, Vince. I'm honored to have you both in my life."
Seeing their embarrassed looks, Jane started laughing. She was still laughing when the waitress came back with the check.
A/N: Ok, this is going to wrap up soon. There's probably only a few more chapters, at the most. A few loose ends to tie up, and then we're done.
For those who have asked, or expressed an interest, this story is not going back up to an M rating. That means there will be no smut. That was never my intention. Frankly, I don't know enough about how a post-op MTF body would react, to feel comfortable even attempting to write a sex scene. Rather than misrepresent what is the ultimately desired outcome for many MTF transsexuals, I'm just not going to risk it. I've tried to stay as true as possible to this subject, and it simply wouldn't be fair to suddenly forsake that, just so I can write a sex scene. So, no sex scene.
Anyone reading 25/+ chapters of a story, just to be disappointed by a lack of smut in the last couple chapters, has way too much time on their hands. This story has done just fine without smut, up to this point, and I think it will be fine without it, for the remaining however-many chapters.
