Heritage Chapter 25, a law and order: svu fanfic

A/N: So, as promised, yet more Heritage. This is Part One of three, to be updated at various points over the weekend/beginning of next week, so there's plenty more to look forward to! Thank you all so much for your reviews on the last one, it was really hard to write so I'm really glad you all liked it. I hope you like this one just as much, and please send me a review to let me know!

SteffieDawn, was this a quick enough update for you? There's more traumatised Liv, but... hopefully you'll like it anyway.

EdibleSlaw, I think Elliot's got to the point where you really have to be cruel to be kind. The trouble is, all the interventions in the world won't make a difference unless she's willing to accept that there's a problem.

SVUandBonesAddict, as harsh as Elliot might have seemed in that chapter, yeah, he was right... he just needs to wait for Olivia to realise that now...

Ren Victoria, yeah... and we all know how afraid Olivia is of turning into her mother.

Hailey, you're awesome. Thanks for pre-reading this one for me too. Hopefully I'll get the other two finished pretty quick - there's nothing like a deadline to really light a fire under my ass (well, that and an outstanding review. EdibleSlaw, you know this already.) And... I too want my own Elliot. I just have to find out where they're all hiding...

courtneylovejason, I know...

inspirationimagination, you know how much I love you. I say so every time. But, I think I'll say it again. You're awesome. Thanks. I could really see Elliot getting angry over it, partly because he's so protective of her and partly because he seems to be afraid of showing any really strong feelings, so it's kind of easier for him to be angry than to admit that he's afraid. (And yeah, you're right - Olivia's mother died falling down some subway steps outside a bar.)

gemfinder360, I'm glad you thought it was sweet :) As harsh as some parts of that chapter were, you can really tell how much he loves her.

PiperOnlyFanFic, yeah... I think Elliot's kind of getting to the stage where he's realising that he doesn't know how much more he can take.

So... usual huge note over, here's the first of my three mini-chapters. I hope you all like it, and I'll see you soon for the next one! In the meantime, give this one a read, and please, please, PLEASE send me a review to let me know what you think!

Dr Olivet will fix it.

'Can I help you?'

'Huh?' Olivia opened her eyes and looked up. An annoyingly perky young woman was looking curiously at her from the end of the hall. Oh, great. One of those. She rolled her eyes. That's just what I need right now.

'Ma'am?' The woman was raising her eyebrows pointedly. 'Can I help you?'

'Uh...' Olivia wiped her eyes and staggered to her feet, wincing a little from where the edge of one of the door panels had been digging uncomfortably into her back. 'I. uh... I need to see Dr Olivet.'

The irritating woman frowned. 'Do you have an appointment?'

'No, I... I...' Olivia sniffed and wiped her nose, pushing her greasy hair back off her face. 'I just need to see her, OK?'

The woman sighed. 'Well, I really can't help you if you haven't bothered to call ahead to make an appointment, but maybe-'

Olivia felt a flash of rage. Patronising useless stupid little- 'Look, you arrogant bitch, just tell me where the fuck she is, OK?'

A hard look came into the woman's eyes and she crossed her arms tightly in front of her, 'Ma'am, if you're going to use that kind of language then-'

Then what? Olivia gritted her teeth. Uptight bitch. She was filled with a sudden urge to slap this woman right in the middle of her stupid smug face. No, Olivia. Deep breaths. She swallowed uncomfortably, slowly counting to ten in her head. Don't get mad, don't get mad, don't get mad...

'Ma'am.' The woman nodded at the elevators. 'I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

NO! Olivia's stomach lurched. 'No, no, please, I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm so tired, I've been sitting here for hours...' She rubbed her eyes, trying to clear her head. 'Please... please, I need to see her...'

'I'm afraid she's over at the 27th Precinct today, Ma'am, but if you come back tomorrow I'm sure she could-'

'No, no, I... I need-' Olivia's voice caught in her throat. Why, why does everyone keep leaving me? Am I really that awful? 'I need to see her, you don't understand...' She started to cry. 'No one understands...'

The woman cleared her throat impatiently. 'Ma'am, have you been drinking?'

Shut up, it's 9.34pm in Thailand. 'I... I need Dr Olivet, where is she, can you call her?' She understands, Dr Olivet understands, she'll make it better, she has to...

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, I can't, but if you'll just tell me what's wrong-'

Isn't that obvious? 'I am.' Olivia looked at her. 'I'm what's wrong. It's always me.'

'Ma'am, I'm sure that's not true-'

'It is.' Olivia wiped her face with her sleeve. 'It's my fault, it's my fault, everything's my fault...'

'What, Ma'am? What's your fault?'

'Everything.' Olivia shook her head blankly. 'I've ruined everything...'

The woman sighed again and glanced quickly at her watch. 'How have you ruined everything?'

'I... He...' Olivia felt her breath catch. 'He... he touched me. He... he did things to... to me, and... and I...' She bit her lip. 'Oh God...'

'Ma'am?' The woman stepped closer and looked at her carefully, a look of concern suddenly on her face. 'Would you like me to go and get one of the special detectives?'

Olivia shook her head, horribly aware of the tears that were streaming down her face. 'No, no, no, no, there's no point, they can't fix me, they can't fix anything, they're meant to help victims and I'm not a victim, I'm not, a part of me wishes I was but I'm not, I did this, I... I let Him, I let him touch me, and...' She started to cry harder. 'He touched me and I let Him and now I'm dirty, I'm so dirty, and he doesn't want me and I know he doesn't want me but I need him to, I need him to so much but all I do is ruin things-'

'Ma'am, are you telling me you're one of the victims from the special unit?'

If only. 'No.' Olivia laughed bitterly. 'No, I'm supposed to be one of the detectives!' God, I'm like the punchline to some sick, pathetic joke...

The woman was glancing at the elevators again. 'Ma'am, whoever you are, they could still help you-'

'NO! I LOVED IT!' Olivia angrily swiped the tears out of her eyes. 'HE HELD ME DOWN AND HE TOUCHED ME AND I LOVED IT!'

The woman blinked in surprise. 'Ma'am, when did this happen?'

'He said...' Olivia broke down into thick, heavy sobs, her voice hitching and catching in her throat. 'I thought that he loved me...'

'Your... your, uh...' The woman cleared her throat. 'Do you mean your attacker?'

'NO!' Olivia felt a flash of rage and pushed the woman hard in the chest, knocking her off balance. 'NO, HE WOULD NEVER HURT ME!' WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

'Right.' The woman gave Olivia a disdainful look, brushing some kind of invisible dirt off her suit. 'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but if you touch me again I'm going to have to call some of the officers-'

'NO, you don't GET it!' Olivia felt a fresh burst of panic. 'He's wonderful, he's perfect, it's ME, I'm the problem, he's all I have and I drove him away, he doesn't love me and now I have nothing, and I don't know how to make it better!'

'Ma'am, you're going to need to calm down-'

'I WAS MEANT TO BE BETTER!'

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I don't know what it is that you want me to do-'

'MAKE ME BETTER!' Olivia grabbed the lapels of the woman's jacket and shook her. 'MAKE ME BETTER SO THAT HE CAN LOVE ME!'

The woman pushed her away impatiently, clearly disgusted. 'Ma'am, you stink of alcohol, and I suggest you leave immediately before I have you booked for assault.' She looked her up and down, her nose wrinkling a little. 'And quite frankly, if you always act like this, then I'm not surprised that he doesn't find you particularly lovable.'

A/N: What did you think? Are you ready for Part Two? Please send me a review and let me know!