Hi my lovely and faithful readers here is another awesome chapter by ducktiny and I. I hope you enjoy!
Your dog is in my room. You know the rules about your dog-SH
I'm at work and Toby wouldn't be in your room if you remembered to shut your door
It is still in my room on my bed.
Pick him up and move him
No, I will not pick him up.
Why not?
It is not my dog and Toby is dirty. You neglected to give him a bath.
I gave him a bath three days ago, he shouldn't be dirty again
Well he is.
Do you know how he got dirty?
He woke me up this morning to walk him. So I did and in the rain he jumped into a puddle and covered in dirt.
Why didn't you rinse him off when you got back?
It is your dog. I am not going to give your dog a bath. On that note he did get himself somewhat cleaner by rubbing his body all over your bed sheets.
I didn't say you had to give him a bath, just to clean him up enough so he didn't mess up the flat. Also how did he get into my room I shut my door when I left.
Toby wanted to go into your room so I let him in there.
Ok… next time please don't do that if he's dirty
He was persistent and he was bothering me.
Yes and now I have to wash my bedding
I suggest that you do.
Sigh…
Pinching the bridge of your nose. You are stressed. And it is not just because of the dog.
What makes you say that?
Putting 'sigh' in a text message always gives you away, John, and this morning you did not walk Toby, meaning you were preoccupied with something else.
Any ideas as to what is preoccupying me?
Of course I know. Mary's only living relative, her brother, is coming to London, one of the doctors at your work is sick meaning you have to fill in and I need a case which as you know means that I'm bored. When I get bored I 'tear up the flat' in your and Mrs. Hudson's words.
Amazing
I know.
How very modest of you
Very funny John.
I thought so
It was a rudimentary joke. Not your best in the line of jokes, must be you anxiety taking effect.
I'm not anxious
You are not worried about meeting Mary's brother, her only living relative?
I didn't say that I wasn't slightly apprehensive
Ah, I see.
How is it that you are so good at sounding smug via text?
Practice.
Do you really practice?
That was a joke. Subtle but effective.
I figured but I had to ask
Of course.
Right, do I need to get milk from the shop?
Yes and dog food.
Didn't I buy dog food a few days ago?
Yes but I decided to test the ingredients of the dog food as an experiment. I was very bored.
The dog food comes with a list of ingredients on it
Yes of course, but I was looking at a molecular level.
Did you find anything interesting?
Not even remotely. Both you and Molly are at work and I need a case or a machete.
No machetes
Why?
Because I don't want to have to rush home because you sliced yourself open
I am a master at swordmanship. I can handle a machete.
You also said that you'd be okay with nunchucks yet I still had to take you to the hospital with a concussion
I admit that I was not a specialist at nunchucks, but I am proficient in swords.
Where would you get a machete anyway?
You can buy them at a sporting goods shop.
Really?
Yes.
I did not know that
Yes. Well then can I buy one now?
No you can't
Really? I am perfectly capable of handling a machete.
That might be true but I don't know if the flat is capable of you handling a machete
I will buy one anyway. You are not my handler.
Fine just don't break anything of mine
Only caring about your things. How selfish.
Ok don't break any of your things either
Why would I? They are my things.
Well for that matter why would you break my things?
If your items are in the way, then it is your fault for putting them there.
It doesn't matter where my items are breaking them isn't right
You care too much about material things.
I disagree
Agree to disagree.
Deal. If Toby gets in your way he had better remain unharmed when I get home
Toby will be unharmed and I have been training him.
Why does that fill me with worry?
You do not need to worry. I am training him to follow scents.
Oh ok that's good
He is much better that I expected.
Nice
I guess it is 'nice'. Anyway since you are not here I'm going to go back to being bored.
Just try not to wreck the flat