Disclaimer: FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

A/N: Well this is officially the last proper chapter of Our Story - and fittingly, it's the longest so far. There will be an epilogue to follow in a few weeks, just to tie up those last few loose ends, but after that, this story will have come to a close. I think I might have mentioned plans for a few follow-up stories; the first of these is tentatively entitled "Elhandra's Story" and will be a one-shot focusing on Elhandra in the aftermath of the events of Our Story (it will basically serve as the third story in the series). I also have future plans to write something focusing more on Rikku and Gippal's relationship now that the Lreav storyline has finally come to an end (no, he's not going to pop up again at any point - sorry guys!) and that is likely to be a multi-chaptered story and part four of the overall series. And finally, I'm toying the idea of writing what will basically be "Lreav's Story" and will tell the events of Rikku's Story and Our Story from Lreav's point of view (part five of the series). But all of these ideas are very much WIPs and might not appear for a long time yet, so please check my profile page for any updates, or feel free to email me with any questions.

And finally, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the previous chapter (and indeed the whole story). Thanks for sticking with me and please let me know what you think of this, the penultimate chapter!

Our Story

Chapter Twenty Four: Rikku

Gippal was true to his word. I didn't see much of him for the next few weeks. Passed him a couple of times in the corridor, watched him on the monitor when he made his speech, but apart from that, it was like he wasn't even there. Like we weren't together.

And although it was what I'd asked for – and although I knew it was what I needed, I couldn't help missing him. He'd become such an integral part of my life without my even knowing it, and now, when he wasn't around, I felt his absence. It was almost scary, being so dependent on someone else. Especially after everything that had happened. Lreav, Juyane, even Elhandra … sometimes I thought it was a mess that we'd never be able to get to the bottom of.

Time supposed to be this great healer, right? Well I don't know about that. I felt a bit more stable over the weeks, but I still had the same questions. The same fears. I still wasn't sure how to feel about Juyane. Or what I'd done to Lreav. And at the centre of it all was the guy I was avoiding, who also happened to be the one person I really wanted to see.

He wasn't the only one who was keeping his distance either. My outburst in the meeting had ruffled a few feathers, because sympathetic looks had become a matter of course and there was a definite "hushed" edge to the voices of those people who actually spoke to me. They obviously figured I was going through some kind of trauma and felt it was safer to give me a wide berth. Even my friends didn't seem to know what to say or do: Paine had stayed for five minutes and then hurried off, claiming she had some kind of "meeting" and even Brother had stuck his head around the door and then promptly pulled it back again.

The only person that my behaviour didn't deter was my cousin. Yuna came to see me the morning after my conversation with Gippal. I was sitting at the table in my room at the time, contemplating a bowl of something that could kindly be referred to as rice. It was some kind of special, healthy-living food that was supposed to help people who had been ill to regain their strength. I hadn't had the energy to complain when the New Yevon priest had handed it to me with a quiet, "Try and eat it all" and besides, even I had to admit that I'd lost too much weight recently. The problem was, it lacked any kind of taste as I was just wondering if I could get away with emptying it into the plant pot, when a knock sounded on my doorframe and I looked up to see Yuna standing there.

Apart from the brief moments after I'd burst into their meeting, this was the first time I'd seen her since Lreav's attack. My first instinct was to jump up and throw my arms around here, just to convince myself that she was here, she was real and she was okay.

But something held my back. There was an air of uncertainly between us that I was reluctant to breach. So much had happened – maybe too much for us – and although it hurt me to contemplate the notion, maybe this time things couldn't just snap back into place.

I studied her closely, eyes taking in those familiar features and unconsciously checking for any sign of injury. Dressed in nothing more fancy than a loose pair of dark trousers and a pale blue shirt, I was suddenly struck by how young she looked. Over the years, I'd become so used to seeing Yuna as the Lady Summoner, always perfectly attired with that serene smile safely in place. Now that façade was gone and she was just Yuna. My cousin and best friend certainly, but still just a girl, barely into her early twenties. And one who had suffered just as much as me at the hands of the man I'd killed.

"You're eating. That's a good sign."

Her words were hesitant, as if she didn't quite know what to say to me and was seeking some kind of common ground. I knew how she felt and hated it. Yuna and I had never been anything but honest and open with each other, and now we were acting like virtual strangers!

I held up the bowl, revealing it's white, mushy contents. "I'm not sure this can qualify as food."

"They do have somewhat … basic tastes here."

"Guess old Yevon must be missing a taste bud or two." I put the bowl back down and pushed it away from me, with more force than I intended. It teetered on the edge of the table and I had to slide a hand out to catch it. "Need to be more careful," I murmured, moving the bowl into the centre of the table. We both stared at it for a moment, and then I thrust away from the table, crossed the floor in a couple of unsteady steps and threw my arms around Yuna.

She held me tightly, face buried in my shoulder, hands encircling my back. I think she let herself go then; she let the tears come and we clung to each other. Holding her felt so real – reassured me that she really was okay. I was finally able to dispel that horrible image of Yuna lying on the ground, blood slowly turning her wedding dress from white to red. She was here; she was alive; she was safe and whole. And nothing was going to hurt us again.

At length, she pulled back from me and wiped her eyes. "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered, unconsciously echoing Gippal's words of the day before. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't – if you'd…"

"You're not the only one." I tried for a smile and half managed one. "When Lreav took me – it was agony. Not knowing if you were alive or dead –" I broke off and took a deep breath. "But you survived. You're here and you're okay."

"I'm okay," she echoed, but her words lacked conviction. I looked more closely at her face. Uncomfortable under my probing, she turned her head away.

"Yunie, what is it?"

She didn't reply.

A horrible realisation crept slowly over me, inky and black and evil. It couldn't be – she couldn't have … no, no she would have said – I would have been able to tell. And she wouldn't have just been sitting calmly in that meeting, like nothing was wrong –

But Yuna was nothing but a consummate actress, one who was used to putting the fate of the world before her own. Sitting in that meeting with this knowledge weighing down on her was exactly the kind of thing she would do.

I touched her arm, fingers grazing her sleeve. "Yunie … what happened with the baby?"

Her body stilled, and for a moment I thought she wasn't going to reply. When her voice did come, it sounded odd. "Nothing. Nothing happened." She whirled back around then, a bright smile fixed on her face. "You know what we should do? Your hair. I hate to say this, but it's looks awful. Come here."

Before I could protest, she dragged me across to the table and pushed me into one of the chairs. Where she got the hairbrush from I don't know, but moments later she was tugging it through my unruly mop, tutting when it got snarled in a particularly large tangle.

I winced and tried to grab the brush from her. "Stop that," she ordered. "Just give me a minute – ah, there we go!"

"Yunie –"

"Anyone would you think you haven't brushed this in months …"

"I didn't exactly have a full beauty kit with me when I was being kidnapped," I returned sarcastically, my frustration at her refusal to talk making my tongue unusually sharp.

The brush faltered. "No, I suppose not," Yuna murmured. She drew my curtain of hair back into a tail and started brushing with renewed vigour. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out.

Only after she'd braided the front of my hair and pulled the rest back behind a headband did Yuna pause. She'd come around in front of me to assess her work and I took the chance to grab hold of her hands and pull the conversation back on track. "Yunie, talk to me. Please. Tell me about the baby."

Her eyes met mine and the pain in them made me want to cry. I knew then what her answer was going to be.

"Okay. Just … can we go for a walk? I think we could both do with some fresh air."

We headed out of my room, Yuna leading the way. I wasn't sure where she was going – all the corridors looked the same to me – but after a couple of minutes, we emerged into a small, open courtyard. It was really beautiful, with archways of stone, beds overflowing with flowers and plants and a marble fountain ringed by stone benches. It literally took my breath way. You know when you find something amazing in the middle of mundane normality? Well it was just like that.

"What is this place?"

The delight on my face brought the ghost of a smile to hers. "I'm not sure. I found it last week and, well, I like it here. It's peaceful."

"Yeah." I followed her into the garden. Being a child of Bikanel Island, I've always had a bit of a fascination with water and the fountain drew my like a magnet. It was really simple under closer inspection, just a jet of water coming from the centre of a shallow bowl. But pretty, and entrancing. I sat down on one of the stone benches and watched the water fall.

Yuna joined me, folding her hands neatly in her lap. After a few minutes of silence, she cleared her throat.

"It's not what you think."

A handful of water splashed across the edge of the bowl. "You mean you haven't –"

"Lost the baby? No."

"Then …?"

"There was no baby. I was never pregnant."

I digested that information slowly. No baby – the one possibility I hadn't really considered. I mean, I knew that Yuna had only suspected she was pregnant, but still, I'd just assumed – wow. I toyed with end of one of my braids, not really sure what to say. I was relieved beyond belief that Lreav's attack hadn't caused a miscarriage, but Yuna still seemed so distant and upset that she had me worried.

"Yunie …"

"I'm okay." The words sounded like a mantra, like, if she said them enough times, she'd start believing them. Not sure what else to do, I put my arm around her. She sighed and laid her head on my shoulder, her hair tickling my cheek.

"I just … I feel like I've lost something. Which is silly, really. How can you lose something that you never had to begin with?"

I had no answer for her. "Does Tidus know?"

She shook her head. "I didn't think there was any need. He's been through enough already."

The answer surprised me. Yuna and Tidus were the most open couple I knew – they told each other everything. "I think you should tell him."

"There's no need," she repeated softly. "There's no need."

I wanted to protest, but thought better of it. While I couldn't completely understand what she was feeling, I knew that Yuna need my support, not my arguments. And so we just sat there quietly, watching the fountain and listening to the sound of the water as it cascaded into the basin.

There was one more conversation that stuck in my head over those weeks. I'd promised myself that I wouldn't seek out my dad, to ask him about Juyane. After all, relationships were built on trust, and if Gippal and I had any chance of a future, then I had to trust him, didn't I? Which meant I had to accept what he had told me about Juyane as being the absolute truth.

And honestly, when I thought about it a bit more, I knew he was telling the truth. Everything he'd said made sense, and yet … and yet I just couldn't quite silence that last little niggle of doubt.

Which is why I sought my dad out, the day before he was due to leave. He was heading back to Bikanel Island, to talk to the leaders there and hopefully calm things down a bit. My dad, the diplomat. It would have been laughable if the situation wasn't so serious. Gippal's speech or not, there was still a general sense that Spira was living on a knife-edge. Yuna, Nooj and Baralai had a lot of work ahead of them and everyone was helping out wherever they could.

My dad was busy barking orders when I stepped onto his ship and into the middle of chaos. Al Bhed swarmed all over the bridge while Cid stood in the centre, conducting them like some bizarre orchestral master. Brother stood by his side, his arms firmly folded and a sullen expression on his face. Buddy, standing slightly behind both of them, looked like he was fighting to keep a smile off his face.

He spotted me first and wound his way across the floor to join me in the doorway. "Hey, kiddo."

I gave him a hug. I've always liked Buddy; as stupid as my brother can be sometimes, he has good taste in friends. "I need to speak to my dad."

Brother raised an eyebrow. "Good luck with that. Actually, maybe you could help. Brother looks like he's about to explode."

"Dad taking over again?"

"Something like that. Listen, how are you doing?"

I shrugged. "I'm okay."

He didn't look convinced, but he didn't push it either.

My dad's bellow almost deafened us, cutting through the hum of the bridge and making a passing Al Bhed drop his box of tools and curse. "What are ya doin' out of bed, little girl?"

"Hi, Pops." I was engulfed in another hug, this one bigger and stronger, almost to the point of suffocation. Ironic really; I survive being kidnapped and almost murdered, only to be smothered by my own dad.

"Should you be just strollin' around like this?" he demanded, fixing me with his beady eyes.

"I'm okay, Pops." I gave him a bright smile. "Honestly."

"You aint okay by a long shot! Runnin' around and gettin' yourself half frozen to death on a mountain side –"

"That wasn't exactly my fault," I protested.

He dismissed my words with a wave of his hand. "Well if you're well enough to be up and about, young lady, then you're well enough to be comin' back to Bikanel with the rest of us. We're leavin' within the hour. Think you can be packed by then?"

I sighed inwardly. It wasn't the first time that my dad had mentioned this idea. He seemed to think that I needed "looking after". Never mind the fact that I'd been doing pretty well for the last four years; no, now I needed parental guidance and protection.

"Pops, I'm not coming back to the island with you."

He glared at me, face red. "Like hell you aint! I gotta keep an eye on you, girl. How am I s'posed to do that from half way across the world?"

"I don't need looking after!"

"Says who?"

Buddy, forgotten besides us, shifted uncomfortably. "I'm, um, gonna go help Brother with … something …" He fled without even bothering to finish the sentence.

I took a deep breath in the ensuing silence. "Pops, I didn't come here to argue. I actually … I wanted to ask you about something."

Cid eyed me suspiciously.

I cast a despairing look around the room. "Can we go somewhere quieter?"

My dad still didn't look please, but at least he turned and waved his arm, attracting Brother's attention. "Carry on with restocking the supplies!" he yelled, much to my brother's obvious disgust. "I got business." Then he practically frog-marched me out of the room and into the elevator at the end of the gangway. Moments later we stepped out onto the deck and he rounded on me. "Well?"

I wandered across to the edge of the deck and peered over. The view from up here was spectacular; Spira spread out before me like some kind of elaborate patchwork quilt. Looking at something like that, it was so easy to forget about everything that had happened. There was no pain, no war. No grief or loss. Just landscape and life.

"Rikku?"

My dad's never been the most patient man and I could tell that he wasn't going to wait much longer. Besides, I was just procrastinating anyway. Putting off the inevitable. I'd got him up here; it wasn't like I wasn't going ask.

So I bit the bullet and plunged straight in. "I want you to tell me about Gippal and Juyane."

He blinked at me, liked I'd just slapped him or something. Seriously, I'd never seen my dad so taken aback before. He recovered quickly enough, but I still knew I'd surprised him.

"Finally told you has he?" he grunted. " 'Bout time."

"Yeah, yeah he told me."

"But you don't believe him?" Cid asked shrewdly.

I looked away. "I just wanna know the truth."

"Thought he'd told you truth."

"Pops," I cried, "please, just tell me what you know, okay?"

He came and stood beside me, gazing out across the world. "Truth is, I don't like your boyfriend – but I think you already know that. Truth is that he's an immature waster, who likes to screw around and damned the consequences." I felt his eyes turn towards me. "But I think you already know that as well."

This was nothing knew. I'd always known that my dad had a low opinion of Gippal – he'd made that blatantly obvious. But I'd never known why before … was it because of Juyane?

"Juyane was a kid when Gippal took up with her. Then when he'd had his way with her, he dumped her like a piece of dirt. She kicked up some stink about being pregnant – caused a right old uproar - and he ran off instead of facing up to his responsibilities." Cid paused, before adding, "Of course, it turned out the girl was lying about all of it – but that don't change anythin' in my eyes. He still acted like an idiot, which is why I don't want him anywhere near my daughter."

I could have kissed him right then. Those words, those angry and bitter words had confirmed what I'd been hoping for – what I'd known all along, if I was honest. That Lreav really had been lying; that Gippal, while foolish and immature at times, hadn't abandoned his pregnant girlfriend, that the only reason he hadn't told me about the whole Juyane mess was because he hadn't wanted me to think he was a bad person.

It didn't solve all of my problems, this knowledge. I wasn't so naïve as to think that. But it did change things. I felt like this huge weight had been lifted off me. I wanted to spin around, to sing and dance. It was euphoric, the truth. The knowledge that it was okay to trust Gippal. To love him. Lreav had lied. He had lied to me.

And Gippal, albeit reluctantly, had told me the truth.

I grabbed my dad and hugged him tightly, surprising him once again. "Thanks, Pops," I whispered, pressing a kiss against his bristly cheek.

He drew back but held onto my shoulders. "You're gonna go talk to him now, aint ya?"

I smiled, and for the first time in weeks, it felt genuine. "Yeah. I kinda think I am."

Cid sighed gustily. "And I can't change your mind?"

"Nope."

He looked resigned. I think he'd finally realised that I'd inherited his strong will and there was no way he was going to win this argument. "You know that if he ever hurts you again – "

" – You'll kill him in an inventive and painstaking way. Yeah Pops, I'll pass the message on. Again."

"I mean it this time."

"I know, Pops. You always do."

Gippal wasn't in his room. In stood in the centre of it, hands on hips, feeling somehow cheated. I'd come here straight from talking to my dad – all fired up with enthusiasm and ready to finally sort things out with Gippal – and he wasn't damn well here, was he?

I huffed, and rocked back on my heels. It was pretty inconsiderate of him, to be honest. Here I was, ready to bare my soul, and there he was, nowhere to be found. He could have at least had the decency to be here! Didn't he care about our relationship at all?

Not sure what else to do, I wandered across his room and started picking things up at random. Seeing as this was just a temporary residence for most of us, there wasn't a lot to play with. A couple of pieces of machina, a photoframe displaying an idyllic picture of the Calm Lands – somehow I didn't think that was Gippal's – and a handful of spare change. I picked up the two pieces of machina and weighed them in my hands.

"Are you going to throw those at my head?"

I jumped and one of the machina clattered to the floor. Gippal was lounging in the doorway, dressed casually, arms folded across his chest and an unreadable expression on his face. How long had he been there?

"You're in my room."

I felt suddenly nervous. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"I thought you didn't wanna see me. That you needed … space."

I shifted my weight awkwardly. Gippal wasn't making this easy for me. "I had a lot to sort out, you know."

"And have you? Sorted everything out, I mean?"

Had I? No, not really. Life doesn't fix itself that easily; you can't just solve all your problems with a couple of conversations. But I had got certain things straightened out in my mind. "Things are … clearer now."

He nodded slowly, a slight smile tugging around the corner of his mouth. "You spoke to your dad, didn't you?"

I bristled. "So what if I did? It was your idea."

"And you didn't trust what I'd said."

"I – " I didn't have an answer for him. Or not one I wanted to give anyway.

Gippal pushed away from doorframe and came across to me. "Rikku – it's okay."

"No, it's not," I said unhappily. "How are we supposed to do this if I don't trust you?"

"Well at least we're finally being honest with each other."

"This isn't funny Gippal!"

"Do you see me laughin'?"

"I see you joking around!"

"Rikku, I always joke around. If I didn't, I'd've gone mad years ago."

"What makes you think you haven't?" I muttered.

We stared at each other, both surprised, I think, by the turn our conversation had taken. Then Gippal shook his head, and I giggled, and just like that, the tension shattered and we were laughing like a pair of kids.

When we'd calmed down again, I was sitting on the floor with my back against the wall and my legs stretched out. Gippal was sprawled beside me, his head resting on his hand. It felt like things were almost back to normal between us; for the first time in months, the shadow of Lreav had receded and I thought that maybe we could make this work again.

"Where are we?"

An abstract question, but I knew what Gippal meant. I'd been wondering the same thing. "I'm not sure."

He traced a line in the carpet with one finger. "I didn't lie to you Rikku. I might have … not told you a couple of things, but I never lied to you."

"I know that now."

"But you still don't trust me." It wasn't a question.

I looked down at my legs, pale against the carpet. "I want to. I just …"

He blew out his breath explosively. "Man, Lreav really screwed everythin' up, didn't he?"

Lreav. A flash of white snow and pain and blood – I shoved the memory away.

"I don't know if I've ever said this, but … I'm sorry. For gettin' you involved. For makin' you care about Lreav. Ah hell, for pretty much everythin'. If I could have protected you from it, I would have."

"Gippal … it wasn't your fault. Not all of it anyway."

"Not all of …?" He smiled. "You know, I'm likin' this whole honesty thing we got going on."

"Works for me." I poked him playfully with my foot.

Gippal rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Okay, so in the spirit of honesty …" I took a deep breath, "… here goes. I don't blame you for what happened. And I should have believed you about Juyane – I shouldn't have had to ask my dad about it. And I guess … I guess I've been fixing all of this on you because I … because of Lreav." Because I feel guilty.

"About what happened –"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Maybe that means you should."

"Don't do that, Gippal – don't try and analyse what I'm thinking. You have no idea what I'm thinking."

He sat up, hands held in a defensive position. I immediately felt like a jerk; he'd touched a nerve, but wasn't this whole experience about being honest and open?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

He nudged me with his shoulder. "Honesty, remember? Besides, I'm used to gettin' yelled at by you."

I gave him a small smile. "Touché."

We sat in silence for a moment and then Gippal cleared his throat. "You know … we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Gippal, I killed someone. I don't even know where to start." I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. "Everything is such a mess."

"You feel … guilty? Like if you'd just done things differently, then maybe everythin' would have worked out. Maybe you wouldn't have had to kill him …?"

My eyes snapped open. "You're doing it again – that's not what I – how do you even –"

"Know? Spira, Rikku, do you think you're the only one who feels like that about Lreav?"

"But I thought you hated …" I trailed off, staring at him. It had never occurred to me how Gippal might feel about all of this. Or hell, someone like Elhandra. My guilt and shame and self-recrimination had overshadowed all of that until I couldn't see beyond it. Until it overwhelmed me.

Well, I guess you could add "selfishness" to that list now too.

"Yeah, I hated Lreav. Now. But before that, back when we were at Kilika … I might not have pushed him off the temple, but I sure as hell put his feet on the path." He shrugged his shoulders. "I felt guilty about that for the longest time."

"Even though it wasn't your fault ...?"

He gave me a significant look, raised eyebrows and all. I rolled my eyes. "Smart ass."

Sitting there, talking so casually about all the terrible things that had happened … it was really surreal. Crazy even, that we could both do this. Yet somehow, it just worked. And for the first time, I felt that I was able to open up and Lreav and what I'd done.

"Have you ever killed anyone?" I asked at length. "Like … intentionally?"

"You mean you can do it accidentally?"

I brushed off his flippancy. "I'm serious, Gippal."

"Serious, okay. Well then … yeah, I've killed someone before. Intentionally."

Even though I'd asked, the ease with which he admitted it surprised me. Killing Lreav was such a big deal to me … while Gippal's admission sounded so blasé.

Some of my thoughts must have shown on my face because he added, "It was years ago now. Time … it kinda gives you a new perspective on things."

"Really?"

"Don't get me wrong – it never makes it okay. But it just … gets easier."

"You promise?"

There was an odd, wistful note in my voice that Gippal picked up on. He sat forward and slung his arm around my shoulders. "Yeah. I promise."

"And the guilt?"

"That too."

I leaned my head against his shoulder. "I hope you're right."

He ruffled my hair with his free hand. "I know I am."

Something about the way in which he said it – the quiet confidence of his words – made me feel better. Made me feel that he was right; that things would get easier. I grabbed onto that feeling with both hands and hugged it to me, relishing in its warmth and comfort.

Silence fell between us. My head lolled against Gippal's shoulder and his fingers played restlessly with the ends one of my braids. It was … comfortable, just being with him. Familiar, despite all our problems. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed having his warm presence beside me – and the realisation of how close I'd come to losing it forever made me shiver and curse Lreav all over again.

Gippal tightened his grip around my shoulders in response and pressed an absent-minded kiss against my forehead. The touch of his lips against my skin made me start and pull back slightly. It had been so long since we'd had any kind of intimate contact that I wasn't sure how to react.

Gippal obviously noticed my reluctance because he smiled ruefully. "You still needin' some more time?"

He made to move away and I panicked, grabbing his arm. "No! No – don't go. Just – just stay. Please."

He arched an eyebrow. "You sure?"

I knew all his hesitancy was down to me and how I'd been acting recently, but suddenly it made me want to scream. Couldn't he see how much I needed him right now?

I took a moment to swallow my anger and force myself to think clearly. After all, I had been giving Gippal mixed messages recently, and it was a bit unfair that I was now expecting him to read my mind. So maybe I should spell things out for him.

So I took his chin in my hand, turned his head around to face me and very deliberately pressed my lips against his. It wasn't much of a kiss – brief and almost chaste – and it obviously surprised him, because he rocked back on his heels.

"Can't say that wasn't nice, but –"

"I know." I suddenly felt horribly confused and embarrassed. What was I thinking? I'd said I didn't trust him – and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't, not completely, Not yet. But now I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving either, of being without him, and then there was Lreav's voice in my head, and Juyane, mixing everything up -

He tried again, sounding frustrated. "Rikku … I don't know what you want from me."

"I know," I repeated, clambering to my feet to put some distance between us. "And I'm sorry, I just – I thought I had everything straightened out in my mind, but it's not and I – I don't know what to think. Spira, I thought talking to you would make things better, but I still feel so bad about Lreav and you –" I turned my back on him and hugged myself. "I don't know what to do about this. About us. I don't know – I don't know how to fix it and make everything better, you know? But I just – I just need you here, Gippal. I can't – I don't want to go through this alone anymore. I need you."

There it was – my vulnerability. Out in the open for all to see. But instead of laughing, or making some kind of lame wisecrack, as I might have expected from Gippal, he was silent. Then I heard him moving behind me, and a few moments later he slid his arms around my waist from behind. I stiffened almost automatically.

"I'm not goin' anywhere." His breath tickled my cheek. "You got that? Even if you send me away, or refuse to see me or somethin' crazy like that. 'Cos this is important to me and I'm not gonna let Lreav win by chuckin' it away with a fight."

He didn't say the words – because I love you – but he didn't have to. The sentiment was there for anyone to see and after a moment's more resistance, I sagged back against him, my hands coming to rest on his bare arms where they encircled my waist. And we just stood like that, enjoying each other's closeness, all the uncertainties and confusion be damned. There were things that would have to be faced; conversations that we have to be had, but not now. Now there was just me and Gippal and a relationship that looked like it might just have the strength to survive after all.