Take a chance on me
by Becastle
chapter 25-letting go
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Beckett found herself suddenly racing toward her death at speeds faster than she thought possible. Wind was singing in her ears and making her eyes tear up even though closed. She knew she was going to plummet to the bottom so with her eyes tightly shut and arms straight out she waits for the inevitable.
(Beckett's mind:) I just wish...
don't say that...wishing 's not always a good thing...
I know but...I'm going to die...anyway...I feel it in my bones...
but not in your heart...
what is the difference now...I can't...there's...
But before she could prepare for it she slams into something hard, something she wasn't expecting to be there in mid-air.
"I told you that I had your back." she heard cutting through the wind. "Always,"
(Castle's mind:) I would love to have her on her back...somewhere else
stop that and focus would you...there will be time for that later...
it wasn't suppose to be...
"Not funny Castle." she grabs him around the neck and curls her legs around his body.
As their bodies connected Castle knew that things would never be the same.
(Beckett's mind:) now we are both going to die...she let's out a deep sigh...why would he...
stop complaining and go with him...he's just what you need.. she held onto him with every ounce of energy she had
but what if we don't make it...then...
will you shut up...he's here and he's not going to let anything happen to you...
"No it's not, but it's true. I..." he swallows..."I always will..."
She felt a new sense of closeness with him. With a miraculous snap, she saw the blessed parachute deployed a patriotic red white blue curve above them. It was wonderful to let someone else be in charge if only for a little time. Something she's thought she might never experience in her life and with him she had it twice already.
"Hold on."
"This time I think I can." she could feel his chuckle in his chest.
(Castle's mind:) this is...this moment is more intimate than making love to her...
you got that right... you now have a... a permanent connection... one that now couldn't be broken...
I know isn't cool...sure I have saved her life before but not like this...it's different...more...
more...what...she's surrendering to you...trusting you fully...you need to do the same...
I do don't I?
look at it this way though...it gives a whole new meaning to the words "have her back,"...
that's not the only way...his body adds.
now let the wind guide you...A female voice enters his mind, the wind is your friend...Castle wasn't sure that was all that true but he went with it and guides his parachute into the now gusty winds.
"So far so good," just as he makes the comment, they were heading straight for a huge tree. "Well, we were."
"What?" Beckett tries to turn her head to see what he was talking about.
(Beckett's mind:) oh no...I knew that I shouldn't have trust him all the way...
now...he did...
Beckett felt the sharp turn and then heard the ripping sound.
(Beckett's mind:) oh no he didn't...
at least you're alive...
a branch was poking right through the red fabric, dangling them in the tree.
yes...but he still ends up getting us...caught..
"Isn't this fun hanging in a tree," Castle laughs.
"For... for who?"
"We have an experience like no other," he shot back.
"Just get us down." she yells. (Castle's mind:) that's all she has to say, not thanks for saving her...
she just wants to be safely on the ground...
I know me to but she didn't have to yell at me like that...and how am I...
you will think of something...look around use what you have...
"And how am I suppose to do that...do you have any suggestions?"
"Well no...no I don't I can't think about anything but..."
(Beckett's mind:) hanging on to him...I don't blame you on that one...
is that wrong for me to think that?
not at all...I would be thinking the same thing...
is this a metaphor for my life? hanging by a tread...should I just let go and see where I land?...
you landed in his arms that's where...
yes, yes I did and I...but for how long...I mean...
Beckett let out a slow sigh.
(Beckett's mind:) We could probably hang here for hours without any danger of falling right? But danger, it seems...
what to be following you lately. that's true...
I have too many things to do, things that I want to do...how long can we last...
I don't have the answer to that...you two haven't...
had much sleep...I know...well, I haven't and by the looks of him he hasn't either...
you guys have been running...it has to be taking it's toll on you...
Beckett shuts her eyes for a second.
(Beckett's mind:) the last time that I was really able to get any real rest was the time that I was in the plane. where he was writing about me and I was dreaming of him. We were safe...
he didn't know you where there...you...
I lied to him...that's...she let out a slow sigh. that's when all of this started, when we got off the plane into...where ever we are...is this a test of some short...one for me and him...or...how my life is going to be...a balancing act...
fate apparently chose this for you...
What...to be hanging in a tree like this...
no to spend time together...just the two of you...
then what...have us almost... killed... or to kill each other...
that is still up to the two of you...
how do we get down from here?...
have a little faith...he will thinking of something...
she swallows, I...
don't tell me that's what you're afraid of...
I just...
you have to trust...
Castle was afraid to look down. He didn't want to know how high they were, caught in a tree was not a plan that he had worked out.
(Castle's mind:) how am I...if I don't have any...
use the things around you...
the only thing around me...is that... Old abandon Victorian house with it's peeling paint, and the antique barn under us...
and...
and what...all I see it that it hasn't been kept up, even the uncut lawn and scraggly bushes gives me the creeps. But what mysteries lay inside, it looks like it has stories to tell...it looks like...
like what?...
a horror movie...somewhere secluded...if we get down will someone find us...
"Look we're made it to the Bates motel," he laughs out loud.
"What?"
"This farm it looks like a scene from an old Alfred Hitchcock movie, almost like a replica of the Bates house from psycho. Fitting uh."
It was dizzying to look down but Beckett made the effort to. She saw the barn that was next to where they were hanging and then she saw the abandon house that could only be described exactly the way that Castle did.
(Beckett's mind:) He's right looks just like the one..
don't say it...
but it does...it looks just like...the Bates motel. now that's just creepy...she swallows.
"Oh no, it..." Beckett starts to say.
"It could be...fitting isn't it I mean... all we need is the lightning in the background...and of course the shower..."
(Castle's mind:) I wouldn't mind that at all...
ha ha...now think of how you are to get us down...his body complained.
"Not funny Castle."
(Castle's mind:) sure it is Beckett, you need to lighten up some...
she will once the two of you are down from here...
I don't...I just want to see her smile again...this whole thing...
then get the two of you...
I know but I still have come up with...I got nothing...
"I didn't do any of this, I'm just saying...It's..."
Suddenly a succession of gunshots rang out from above them. Bullets slam into the tree limbs shattering wood shards down.
"At least he was bad aim." Castle comments, as more debris falls.
"This is not the time to be joking about it."
"You don't see me missing with how you cope with a dangerous situation do you." anger rose in his voice.
(Castle's mind:) I wish that she would stop doing that she knows how I work...I have to...
just forget that and think on more important things...
(Beckett's mind:) if you keep it up he might drop you...
he wouldn't...
na he wouldn't but still. she sighs, I wouldn't test him...
"Snipers they don't miss."
(Castle's mind:) she's right you know...
then what is going on...
don't know unless...
unless...what
unless he's the same...
the helper sniper...
that one...
the one that save my life...Castle get a shiver up his spine, he did want to live through that again...the look of terror...
yes, I think...
you think...you're the brains here...so what are you thinking...
Castle could hardly hear his own thoughts over the gun shots ringing out.
he's doing it again but...
now shooting at us...I don't get...
he's not shooting at you...
you could have fooled me...
he's shooting at the tree...
as in...
trying to get you guys down from here...that's what you wanted isn't it? or was that what Beckett wanted you to do?
if that's true then what...
you tell me, you're the writer...
what...
you said that this was your...I should say yall's story...so finish it...
"What are you thinking?" Beckett asks after his silence was getting to her.
"I think that he's trying to get us down, I know it sounds crazy...but..."
"Crazy themes, with you."
(Beckett's mind:) I did it again... that's how this works...our partnership how can I not...
"Sorry...I..." Castle doesn't respond.
(Beckett's mind:) great now I did it. he's not talking...
maybe he's thinking...
of a way to kill me...
now...who's making jokes...
but I wasn't...
you know he wouldn't...
do I?...everything...
"Anyway I think that they're." Castle comments. He takes a deep breath.
(Castle's mind:) maybe she's right this does sound crazy but could it be true...
could be, I mean...I never heard of any but anything could happen...
"Yes, that does sound crazy."
"Hey," he shouts.
"But you might just be right." she adds quickly.
(Castle's mind:) me right, she finally admitted it to me. that I can be right...
it's the little things isn't it...
yes, yes it is...
More shots rang out this time a little to closer to his head.
The next one skims by his ear, which made him change his mind about them helping him.
(Castle's mind:) Are they trying to kill me now or is there another shooter...
I don't know...
if so how many more are there?
I don't know that either, I wouldn't... hang... around to find out...
He jabs his fingers through his hair over his ear, "Ow," he cringes. He looks at his fingers, sees some blood.
(Castle's mind:) My beautiful hair...
what...is that all that you can think of at a time like this...
why...was I...
it came close...
I think we have company...
like a shot out...only we are the targets...
yes...
now what?
the next one might get you or worse...her
I can't let that happen...Not after
that's my boy...now find away
Castle sees a hole in the barn one of darkness...a hole into darkness. (Castle's mind:) what evil awaits inside...it's better then this she wants me to get her down but is this the way...into the dark blindness we go.
There's no time to think about that son...
what...
just swing and you will know...
who?
wasn't me or me or me...
it's worth a shot I guess...
just do it... swing towards the hole...before...
Castle swallows not wanting to think about what could happen if he didn't give this a shot.
if I can just get started somehow...
use all your strength...think of a...the murder of...Castle bends his legs back and finally gets enough strength to start to swing.
"Castle what are you doing?" Beckett asks, holding on tighter to him. (Castle's mind:) I didn't tell her to choke me...
what did you expect her to do she thinks...
but she's not...she's...
"Trying to get us down from here if I can.." he responds to her, hoping that that would calm her down some so that she would loosen her grip. but it didn't.
"Trying to get us killed, that's what you are trying to do."
"We're sitting ducks for..." more shots come flying by.
"I changed my mind about them helping us..."
"What?...I thought..."
"What's to stop them from killing us the moment that we..."
Beckett swallows. (Beckett's mind:) was that his plan to have them fall, from here.
"If I can get us to that hole in the roof..." (Beckett's mind:) No Castle not that...there's... "They are trying to shot us as we are in the tree...if I...I can swing..." he keeps swinging.. "A moving target is harder to hit..."
"Castle no..." He starts swinging harder. "That's not..."
Beckett's world was spinning and dove wildly around her, making her feel more dizzy. More panic arose. She wished that he'd stop but really what other choice did she have? She had to go along with what he was doing.
"You said by any means..."
"I..."
"Well, it was implied." more bullets whizzed by.
"I changed my mind...I..."
"It's the only way that I came up with...If you..." he hesitates wanting to know if she did in fact have another plan.
"No...but are you sure this will work?" she asks knowing full well that he didn't know.
"I have no idea but..."
"Duck Castle,"...He did and another bullet grazed by him. Then the tree limb that was holding them in the tree burst into pieces. "ah.." they both screamed as they fell into the darkness of the hole.
precinct bull pin:
"Bad news, guys." the FBI tech calls out. Agent Sorenson grabs the chair next to his tech guy.
"What now?" he comments as he glances at the computer screen they had been glued to. "Did something..." he whispers. "Happen..."
"They went off grid...
"What?"
"What do you mean off grid..." Ryan reacts joining them.
"Disappeared...I mean..." the Tech stammered not knowing how the detective would handle this.
"What does that man bro, that we can't track them any more?" Esposito adds.
"They're own there own!" shots Martha. "Out in the middle of..."
"Where were they last." Jim asks in a demanding tone.
"We can't trace them unless, they come back..."
"You didn't answer my question..." Jim came closer to the tech which made him really nervous.
"The only thing that I do know it's somewhere in the country side.."
"Is this permit? I mean us not tracing them?" Gates adds after she sees all of them looking at the tech.
"The storm, it could have temporarily knocked out their radio signals," seeing the look on her face, he didn't tell her that that was not the case. "It's not that uncommon with storms. I mean...we could be back tracing them any second."
"Or..." Gates was about to asks.
"Or they landed...or crashed." Ryan whispers to Esposito pulling him away.
"Don't think any of that bro. They will..." he sighs, "We have to hold it together."
"I'm just..."
"Don't think it. bro, we have to believe that they are safe."
The tech glances up at the tv screen hearing the words of a breaking story. "Or..." Gates asks again this time after seeing the worried look made by the tech. (Gate's mind:) oh no that's not a good face. something...
"Or...what..." she has to know what this tech was thinking, Her people's lives were in danger.
The man just points to the TV.
"That,"
"The locals said they heard an explosion, but right now nothing else is known at this time." the announcer says.
"An explosion...as in..." Martha calls. Horror looks invade the precinct. Jim has his hands over his face. "Not that...not my..."
"I don't know, " the tech man response. "They don't know. It..."
Gates walks over the TV and flips channels hoping to find some more info.
"Nothing over here on the internet either," Soreson adds as he types on his laptop.
"So there might no be any sur..." Ryan starts then stops when he catches some movement from the corner of his eye.
Everyone looks up to see Alexis walking up. "Grams what happened, I saw on the news that...that a plane..."
"Sweetie I... we don't know..."
"We," then Alexis sees the FBI jackets. "Don't lie to me," she reaches for her phone. "There's something that you aren't telling me, now what is it?"
She dials her dad's number. "I can't get dad on the phone, he wont pick up," she glances around the room and notices that Beckett is not there with everyone. (Alexis' mind:) something's not right Beckett is always here, she never... I have to know. If dad...oh no she didn't go after him...she wasn't the one on the plane, and if...was he...was my dad? tears were forming in her eyes before she knew it. She had to pull herself together. "Where's Beckett?"
"Well," Ryan begins when no one answered her. (Ryan's mind:) why is it always me that has to...
cause you care that the info comes out...
but I'm no good at it...
sure you are you just need... He sighs.
"Oh no, don't tell me that..." Alexis almost faints, Laine helps her to a chair. "Is she...and my dad? Where's my dad?"
"Have a seat sweetie,"
"I don't want to seat I want answers,"
"We have..." Laine shakes her head as Alexis sits, "We no news." She shakes her head again, this time at the FBI tech guy. But it doesn't go unnoticed by Alexis.
"Tell me... was he...is he...are they..." Alexis tries to say between sniffs.
"We don't know..." Ryan walks up to her.
"And Beckett?" she looks up at him with tears in her eyes.
"We don't know that either," Esposito adds. The heartbreaking face of this girl wanted to make Esposito cry. (Esposito's mind:) Where is Beckett when you need her. He thought that he was going to lose it as well. He squinted his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that he heart was feeling for all of them. I can't handle this, I have to...
to what...we don't know anything...just hang on to that...
I...
"We will find them," Gates tries to come up with something positive even though she doubted that they would be coming back. (Gate's mind:) But knowing their records they are just fine...
I hope so...I really hope so...I was just...
just what getting use to them...to him...
I...she sat at her desk and closed her eyes. I need some info soon.
we all do...
Martha sat by Alexis, "Gates is right we will find them, safe and sound."
All went silent, a deadly silence, the kind of silence that creeps beneath the skin and chills to the bone.
No more voices. No more movements...Nothing.
(fades into darkness)
Castle could only hear his own rugged gasps for breath. He fought the hyperventilation that would a cure if he didn't pull himself together.
His heartbeat was almost back to normal which was pleasing to him. Although every muscles in his body was aching, but it had done everything he'd had asked of it. He was alive and that's all that mattered. He was so glade that he survived to see another day but something struck him, a feeling of dread. Now almost in total darkness he had to let his eyes adjust.
(Castle's mind:) something's not right...
something...you call her...a thing...
oh no...he shook his head. Not Beckett...
"Beckett!" he yells as he felt his way along under the big roof beams hoping he wouldn't fall through. "Hello," panic starts to set in. Wiping the cobwebs that laced themselves across his face and got snagged in his eyes lashes, he leans over the edge of the loft to see.
(Castle's mind:) I hope she's not...
me too...
I don't even see a ladder to the first floor...that means, He swallows. That she...
we don't know that...
"Beckett!" he screams for a second time, leaning farther over to see if he could see if she went over the edge to the first floor. (Castle's mind:) Back up from there before...
before what I fall...I...
He sits back on his knees. Places his hand to his face covering his eyes. (Castle's mind:) What if... He sniffs. tears invade his eyes, I can't do anything right...I...
don't...
how can I not...He sniffs, I did this...He wipes his eyes with his fingers, I...
think positive...
how...
Castle shaking his head, glances around. Why... am I cursed to be doomed? I... He stops his thought when he sees what he thinks is a shadowy form close to where he was. One laying there, not moving.
Oh no, It can't be. It just can't be... He gently takes Beckett in his arms. "Beckett I..." fear fills him, as the woman in his arms didn't move a muscle not one why wasn't she moving...saying anything...
"Beckett?" he spoke softly to her. "You can't die on me, not now not ever."
With tears flowing down his face, he cradles her closer to him. The room was silent except the sniffling of Castle.
"What have I done? Talk to me Beckett...please Kate talk to me...I..." he sniffs, "I didn't mean for any of this to happen..." He sniffs, "I think that I started all this when I was at the bar...'the last man standing'...I lead the shooters right to you ...I..." he sniffs again. "screw up again and it might have cost me everything..." he blinks trying to rid his eyes of tears, "and you..." he shakes his head and swallows. "I just…it's all my fault…If I…I can't go on…my heart…" he pauses for a second, "Beckett I love you, always have…I tried to give you peace and…now…" he sniffs bending his head next to hers. He closes his eyes and continues to cry. "The one thing I care about more than life...I have lost forever..." he could hear her breathing but she wasn't moving. "Kate..." he glances down at her and he kisses her on the cheek, "Please forgive me…for everything."
to be continued...