Bonus Chapter

Seven Times Down, Eight Times Up

"Tachibana..."

Tachibana Marika turned at the sound of her name, being uttered by those sweet lips-

"Yes, Raku-sama! Is there something that you wish of-WAUGH!"

It was a horrible sight. Ichijou Raku looked as if he had aged twenty years. He leaned against the window in the school hallway, his already pale skin looking even worse against the bright sunlight.

"I...can't do it anymore..."

"Raku-sama!" said Marika, rushing over to his side. "What has happened to you!"

"Tachibana...no, Mari. Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Of course, Raku-sama! Anything you need," said Marika, cradling Raku's head against her chest.

"Just for today...could you..."

"And so, that's how it is," said Marika, standing in the home economics room with her arms folded. "I will be taking over for Raku-sama today."

In front of her, Kirisaki Chitoge and Onodera Kosaki looked down at the floor sheepishly.

"I-It wasn't that bad this time, right Kosaki-chan?" said Chitoge.

"Y-Yeah..." said Kosaki, although her wobbly smile didn't hold any confidence.

"Honestly, Raku-sama is too kind. To think that he was secretly trying to teach the two of you how to cook..." muttered Marika under her breath.

"L-Like I said, we're sorry!" said Chitoge. "But it's not like we forced him to help..."

"I'm sure you're quite aware by now of the kind of person Raku-sama is," said Marika, walking over to the counter. There stood the two failed creations that had just forced Raku to go to the infirmary.

"So this is Kirisaki-san's?" said Marika, looking at a pot of bubbling black liquid.

"Yeah! We were trying to make curry toda-"

Marika swept the pot onto the floor, coughing what sounded suspiciously like "garbage" into her hand.

"HEY! What are you doing!" said Chitoge.

"Oh...this is Onodera-san's, then?" said Marika, looking at the next dish. It certainly looked like a curry of impeccable quality. The gravy was smooth with just the right amount of thickness. The rice underneath had soft, white grains, like angel feathers. Even the toppings of meat, carrot, potatoes, and onions were cut into just the right size, each coated until glossy by the gravy.

"Well, we know how this really tastes though," said Marika, tossing the dish.

"That was too cruel, Marika!" said Chitoge. Kosaki smiled understandingly, but there were still tears creeping from the corners of her eyes.

"Cruel, you say?" said Marika, her eyes flashing as she whipped around. "I should be the one saying that to you! Forcing Raku-sama into that state with this toxic trash!"

Both Kosaki and Chitoge recoiled, stabbed through the chest by her words.

"Honestly, you two became far too carried away," said Marika with a sigh. Behind her, Honda passed through like a ghost, clearing the spilled curries in the blink of an eye.

The two girls didn't respond. It was true after all. It wasn't an exaggeration to say that their homecooked meals were veritable weapons of destruction. They had known fully well that there was no way that eating their food could be good for Raku.

But...he always tried every one of their dishes without a complaint. He forced it down, even if the taste was enough to make both Chitoge and Kosaki cringe and roll all over the floor. And then he would say smile at them and encourage them to keep working at it.

It was a cheat. It was unfair. How were they supposed to stop giving food to someone like him? Everytime they had regrets, everytime they had second thoughts, that idiot would make their hearts flutter again and there'd be that delicious warmth spreading through their body.

But now that idiot had nearly forced himself into a literal food coma.

D-Damn it...this is all your fault, beansprout!

I'm sorry, Ichijou-kun...I'm a sinful girl...

Grey clouds were hanging over their heads. Marika clicked her tongue. Well, it wasn't like she didn't understand.

"In any case, this was a special request from Raku-sama. I will make sure to put all my effort into it."

"We're in your care," said Chitoge, a bit reluctantly. Kosaki repeated the same.

"Very well. Let us start with something very basic," said Marika, motioning with her finger. Ingredients overflowed from the bags that Honda placed on the counter.

"An omelette."

Several minutes later, the girls were dressed in aprons and had their bangs held back with kerchief hats. Marika paced in front of them like an army sergeant.

"At its most basic form, the omelette is just an egg. By minimizing the ingredients, even someone like you should be able to get it, Kirisaki-san."

"Ah, is that right...?" said Chitoge, her eye twitching.

"The important parts are thorough beating, to properly spread the yolk's color, and gentle heating, to keep the egg's fluffy texture," said Marika, lighting a gas stove. She placed a non-stick pan on top and rubbed some vegetable oil onto the surface. With clean movements, she cracked two eggs into a bowl with some salt and then began beating them with chopsticks. Once the eggs had homogenized into a light yellow color, Marika used her chopsticks to drip a small bit of egg onto the pan, to test the heat.

"To minimize burning, you must keep the egg moving," said Marika, pouring the eggs gently into the pan. Light sizzling sounds were made as Marika agitated the eggs with her chopsticks, allowing uncooked egg to seep in under the soft folds. "Once the eggs have just started to set, you fold it over like so-"

With a light flick of her wrist, the egg folded back on itself, its edges aligning perfectly. She slid the omelette onto a plate, its surface a spotless, even yellow that looked like tender foam.

"Enjoy," said Marika lightly. Chitoge and Kosaki reached over with their chopsticks to taste it.

"Ghk!" said Chitoge, hand over her mouth. She couldn't accept it! To think that someone like Marika...someone like Marika could make something so fluffy and soft, the subtle flavor of the yolk brought out by the light salt-

"It's delicious!" said Kosaki, chewing.

"Well, I don't expect perfect results on the first attempt. But as long as you keep the heat low, we shouldn't see anything disastrous," said Marika. "Are you two ready to try?"

Honda set the two up with their own gas stoves. Chitoge turned hers on, blasting the air with a roaring flame.

"LOW HEAT!" shouted Marika.

"It is low," said Chitoge, her bangs starting to singe from the heat billowing from the stove. Marika rushed over and twisted the knob.

"Now place a little vegetable oil into the pan, just enough to coat the surface-"

"Like this?" said Chitoge, her pan filling with enough oil to deep fry.

"Ahaha...Kirisaki-san. You must be doing this on purpose~"

"Huh?"

Marika had Chitoge dump the oil back and use a small sponge dipped in oil instead.

"Now, crack the eggs into a bowl. Kirisaki-san, please do not just smash it against the bowl."

"I know how to crack an egg!" said Chitoge, remembering back to when she and Tsugumi had tried making fried eggs. First, a light tap against a flat surface to prevent pieces of shell from getting into the egg. Then, take both ends lightly and pull the ends like they're on a hinge-

A clean egg slid into the bowl.

"Yes!" said Chitoge to herself. Marika glanced over with a small bit of surprise.

"I suppose there are miracles," said Marika with a teasing smile. Chitoge pouted, but cracked her second egg in just as seamlessly. She took her chopsticks and broke up the yolk.

"How are you doing, Onodera-san?"

"Mm. I've got the eggs mixed," said Kosaki, showing an almost radiant mixture of eggs. Marika was a bit taken aback. What sort of magic was this?

"Well...the taste seems fine..." said Marika, licking a bit of egg to make sure that nothing fishy was happening under the surface.

""So, I can put it in the pan now, right?" said Chitoge.

"First check that your pan is not too hot. Just drip a little egg onto-"

Marika blinked. She brought her hands up and rubbed her eyes.

Huh? Huuuh?

"Kirisaki-san...what is that?"

"Eggs...?"

"...Those are definitely not eggs," said Marika. Yes, they had the yellow color of beaten eggs. It was definitely mixed well, having become a homogenous mixture.

But it was thick. The bit on Chitoge's chopsticks drizzled back into the bowl in delicate folds.

"What are you talking about? These are eggs."

"Tha's a damn custard, ya idiot!" said Marika.

"D-Don't mess with me! I just beat the eggs like you told me to!"

"That ain't possible! Yer lyin'!" said Marika, stomping over. "Mix it agin!"

Chitoge cracked another two eggs into a new bowl and added a pinch of salt. Then she took her chopsticks and began beating them.

With. Insane. Speed.

Marika realized what had happened as she watched the whirlwind in front of her. The high speed of Chitoge's mixing technique must have created enough friction to just cook the eggs till they thickened. The violent action of her mixing also tore the yolk's fat particles apart, distributing them evenly into the whites, creating a smooth texture.

What an absurd technique...

"I'm impressed, Kirisaki-san," said Marika, patting her on the shoulder. "I will acknowledge your skill with the title 'Custard Gorilla.'"

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

A few minutes later, Chitoge finished her omelette and plopped it onto a plate. It contracted on contact with the cold plate, as if deflating. In contrast, Kosaki's omelette was glowing pristinely on its plate.

"Very well, Kirisaki-san first~"

"Get it over with..."

Marika sliced a small piece with her chopsticks and tasted it.

"Mmm...well, it's not burned. But it's dry from cooking too long. And the texture is rubbery."

Chitoge wilted at the comments. She had expected it, but it still hurt to see her hard work evaluated like this. Marika patted her mouth with a napkin.

"But I suppose it's a start..." said Marika. Chitoge scowled in a self-conscious manner.

"As for Onodera-san, the visual is perfect as usual," said Marika. "The texture has just the right firmness..."

She popped the egg into her mouth. Then, keeled over on the spot.

"M-Marika!?"

"Marika-chan!?"

"Ojousama!"

It took a few minutes for Marika to recover. Honda gave her a glass of water and some medicine.

Just how can Raku-sama endure that kind of taste each and every time? thought Marika, panting as if she'd ran a marathon. She had thought that Chitoge was bad enough, but Onodera Kosaki was in a league of her own. How could she possibly get that kind of flavor when her end result looked so appetizing!?

"Onodera-san, please show me how you cooked this...omelette."

"Ah...ok..."

Marika watched carefully as Kosaki redid her omelette. Perhaps it was because of her family business, but Kosaki's mechanical skill was quite polished. She cracked eggs quickly and beat them just the right amount with her chopsticks. She added a small amount of salt and then tasted the egg. So far, so good. It was all very basic procedure. But then again, Marika hadn't expected there to be a problem here. She had only supplied these two with eggs for now; yet that flavor couldn't possibly come from a normal egg.

It had to be the cooking process. A twisted Maillard reaction or something!

Kosaki poured the eggs into her pan and handled them softly with a rubber spatula. It was like watching a mother rocking her baby to sleep. Marika felt like she was watching something extremely personal.

I never looked too closely at her, but maybe this gurl gun be a big problem...

And then, it was done. Kosaki slid the egg perfectly into the center of her plate.

"How was it, Marika-chan?" said Kosaki hopefully.

"P-Perfect..." said Marika, stunned. In fact, with the way the egg was shining, it seemed as if Kosaki was at a higher level! Had the previous attempt just been a fluke? Perhaps doing it a second time had refined her technique.

Marika took a bite of Kosaki's egg. Then, flew into the wall, spinning like a tornado.

"GYAAHHH! WAZ DIS AWFUL TASTE!" shouted Marika, rolling in agony on the floor.

"Ojousama!"

But it seemed that the previous tasting had helped her build a tolerance. Marika rose shakily from the floor, face strained with effort.

"Marika-chan! Are you ok?" said Kosaki, rushing over.

"Onodera-san...you cooked your eggs perfectly..." said Marika, straining to say each word. Even after swallowing a glass of water, the taste was still clinging to her tongue. "I saw every single step you did! So I don't understand where this taste comes from..."

Marika wobbled back over to Kosaki's eggs. It looked so tasty. So innocent.

But it was a dangerous beast. A vile poison. Something like this could start World War III.

Marika held the plate up to her eyes.

It's so perfect...completely flawless, thought Marika, turning the plate so she could see every side of the eggs. It looks unreal...how perfect it is...almost as if every bit of the egg's existence was forced into its physical characteristics...perhaps even the taste...

No, no, that sort of thing was impossible. There had to be some other fundamental reason here.

"Ojousama, please leave all other tastings to me," said Honda. "I'm worried for your health if this continues..."

"Ah...yes, please do so, Honda," said Marika. She looked over at Chitoge and Kosaki, who were staring at the ground again.

"Well, let's start again."

Thirty-two omelettes later, they ran out of eggs.

"More than anything, today has made me appreciate you more, Honda," said Marika. Honda had dutifully tasted each omelette and given a score out of 10 with no change in expression. None of the omelettes had scored anything higher than a 3.

"Thank you, Ojousama," said Honda, wiping the blood that had been trickling from her mouth.

"I suppose that's all we can do today," said Marika, brushing her skirt down. "I will go check on Raku-sama before heading home."

"Hold on, why do you have to go check on hi-"

"Kirisaki-san. Cooking isn't just making delicious food. What distinguishes a good cook is how well she can clean up after herself also," said Marika with a devilish grin. There were dozens of dishes piled into the sink.

"Why you!"

"I brought those plates from home, so please make sure they are all spotless," said Marika, skipping out of the room with a little "tehee." Chitoge raised a fist at the door, but relented. Well, they did make the mess after all...

"Let's clean up, Chitoge-chan."

"Yeah..." said Chitoge, heading over to the sink and squirting some soap on a sponge. "But that girl really irritates me..."

"Hehe...well, Marika-chan is Marika-chan."

"I guess..." said Chitoge. The sink began to fill with suds as Chitoge soaped the dishes and Kosaki rinsed.

"But it was nice of Marika-chan to help us today...I feel like I learned a lot with her teaching us," said Kosaki.

"Yeah, but she's probably just doing it because of Darl- I mean Raku," said Chitoge, reflexively using his petname.

"You are wrong about that, Kirisaki-sama."

Honda interrupted their conversation casually as she began stacking the plates and putting them into a bag.

"Eh...? What do you mean, Honda-san?" said Chitoge, confused.

"It seems that I have crossed my boundaries somewhat," said Honda, bowing her head. "Please forget that I mentioned it."

"There's no way I can do that, is there?" said Chitoge. Honda smiled slightly.

"It is true that much of Ojousama's actions are derived from her feelings for the Ichijou boy," said Honda, stacking the last of the plates. "And perhaps for her old self, that would be all."

Ojousama. Dinner is prepared.

...Say, Honda. What do you think of my hair?

...I am not sure if I understand. You are very beautiful, Ojousama.

It's still quite short, isn't it...?

No, I would say it is now on the longer side.

I see. Tell Father that I'll come to eat soon.

"Ever since their parting, the only thing in Ojousama's mind has been the Ichijou boy," continued Honda. "She worked hard to improve herself for his sake, for the sake of their reunion. But..."

Marika stared at the mirror. Long hair that was almost to her shoulders now. A smooth, delicate face. Her posture was straight and her lashes were long. The clothing that she wore, the words that came from her mouth, they were all as she imagined. Like a princess. Like an elegant woman. A girly girl.

A young girl's face appeared in the mirror. Short hair, short as a boy's. Sick and frail. Rough and tough.

She could still see herself. Still see Mari inside her. But soon, Mari would be gone. The transformation was progressing more and more everyday. Soon, she would be Tachibana Marika, the woman that would meet Ichijou Raku again, the woman that would win his heart.

If his heart was still waiting for her.

If he still remembered her-

Still remembered their promise-

Marika smiled bitterly into the mirror. What an expression. It was an adult's expression, masking the pain inside. Mari could never do an expression like this. Mari could never hide the insecurities, the doubts, the loneliness.

But Marika could. Marika could do everything that Mari hadn't been able to.

She could be cunning. She could be sweet. She could be whatever she had to be.

Yes...

I can be anything for Raku-sama...

Her hand touched the mirror, reaching out for the little Mari's face.

Don't worry.

I'll take care of everything.

But Mari didn't smile. She looked lonelier than ever. She started to fade, as if she had never been there at all.

"There were hard times. On one hand, it was all because of the Ichijou boy. But on the other hand, it was only because of the Ichijou boy. Only because of him that Ojousama was able to reach the point she wanted to reach without falling into despair."

Kosaki and Chitoge looked at each other. They had never really talked much about Marika. Other than the undeniable fact that she loved Raku aggressively, they didn't really know much about her at all.

"Right now, Ojousama is still deeply in love with the Ichijou boy. And now that all of you have confessed, perhaps the Ichijou boy will take her feelings more seriously," said Honda. Chitoge felt a slight pang at that. Even though she was annoying, even though she was always in the way, Marika really did love Raku. Chitoge couldn't deny that. Chitoge knew how Marika felt, how real love felt. She didn't know if she could be like Marika, continuing to charge forward even as her feelings were constantly trivialized and rebuffed. Looking at Kosaki, it seemed that she was having similar thoughts.

"But even if he doesn't end up answering to her feelings, I believe that she will be fine," said Honda.

"Even though she loves him so much?" said Chitoge.

"Yes," said Honda, smiling. "Because she has people like Onodera-sama and Kirisaki-sama at her side now."

Pure shock. They were struck speechless by this casual remark. Chitoge looked away, biting her lip.

Marika loved Raku. She always told Raku that she loved him. She had been putting her all into having Raku look at her, not just as a classmate, not just as a friend, but as a woman.

Although Marika hung out with the other girls, they were different. Different because none of them loved Raku openly. All of them had wanted Raku to look at them, but in a slightly different way. Hidden, veiled by the secret. The secret feelings that they had held close to their chest. Perhaps the reason Marika had annoyed Chitoge so much was that she could do what Chitoge had never been able to.

"We're different..." said Chitoge, still looking away.

"Yes. You were classmates at first, then perhaps friends," said Honda. "But now, you are rivals. And perhaps it is just my perspective, but I believe that this allows you to understand each other more than anyone else."

Kosaki wiped her eyes and nodded. Chitoge was trying to hide the emotion flooding onto her face.

"I have observed Ojousama since she was a child," said Honda. "That is why I believe that today was not just for the Ichijou boy's request, but for the sake of opening her heart to others, even if it is just a little."

"Idiot..." said Chitoge, sniffing. "That's why she's so bothersome." Kosaki laughed a little.

"It seems that Ojousama is returning," said Honda, glancing at the door.

"Thanks," said Chitoge, finishing wiping her face with some water from the sink. She looked over at Kosaki. "I guess she did help out today. I'll let her off this time."

"Yeah," said Kosaki.

The door opened and Marika swept in, flowers sprinkling in shining twinkles behind her.

"Ah~ today, Raku-sama was so bold..."

"Is that so?" said Chitoge, winking at Kosaki.

"Hm? Your tone sounds oddly callous..."

"Just your imagination," said Chitoge, hooking her arm into Marika's. Kosaki did the same on her other side.

"Let's walk home together, Marika-chan," said Kosaki.

"E...Eh? Uh...yes, that's fine I suppose..." said Marika, bewildered at their lackluster reaction to her statement. "...Did something happen while I was gone?"

"I guess you could say we broke a few eggs..." said Chitoge.

A/N: Interrupting the Porno arc again, this time to show Marika a little love! She hasn't gotten much attention lately from both this story and the manga. In many ways, Marika has the seeds of a complex character, but Komi never really does more than hint at it. I just think she's outstanding, always doing things to the extreme. Whether it's her straightforward feelings for Raku or her mask over the devilish cunning side lurking within.

In this chapter, I had a bit more Honda interaction, but it's tricky. Honda doesn't get a whole lot of screentime in the series, so I had a harder time reviewing her. I went with vague memories for some decisions (like Ojousama), so it may not be entirely accurate.

On another note, I remember Moriyama wondering if there could be concept art for some of the original characters in the story. Looks like we will be seeing some! My friend recently drew a piece for the fanfiction, showing off the climatic scene from chapter 16. I believe there's also a drawing of the labcoat girl in the gallery somewhere! You can find the link on my profile page.

And for the last note, tasting raw egg. Although the fear for salmonella and the like is high in the US for eggs, different regulations and practices for egg production in other countries means that raw eggs aren't considered as highly a threat, to my knowledge. It's why you can have beaten eggs as a dipping sauce for a variety of dishes like sukiyaki.