*Thank you all so much, once again, to those who leave reviews. It really means a lot, it also helps me to know if I'm on the right track. I hope you enjoy this next chapter, please review!*

"I'm fine." Her words were almost masked by the violent clicking of her heels hitting the hospital floor. She had her time off and was adamant about coming back into work despite Sam's incessant nagging.

"Connie, you're still recovering. You need time to-"

"Don't." She turned to face him and interrupted his sentence fiercely. "Tell me what I need to do." Staff around them all ceased movement for a fraction of a second as they curiously tuned into another one of their petty arguments. He didn't react to her fiery temper and let her have her final word before she stormed off into her office.

"What now?" Charlie near enough sighed the question. "I thought you two were finally getting along? Setting an example for the rest of the team?"

"Yeah well, one minute she's hot the next she's cold. I can't keep up and quite frankly, I'm sick of it." He spat the latter of his sentence, clearly aggravated at her behaviour.

"You can't tell her what to do, just leave her be-"

"No." He laughed humourlessly. "I'm going to do just the opposite, something's up with her and I'm going to find out what it is."

"Right, well there's a time and a place for that." Charlie warned. "Here and now is neither of those. There's been a major RTC, casualties are headed this way as we speak. I suggest you steer clear of Connie until we've dealt with that, unless you're actually planning on suiting down and scrubbing in?"

"No, I've got things to attend to upstairs. Keep an eye on her." He held his gaze upon her office as he spoke. She'd been acting cagey for the last couple of weeks and he had no idea why. She was honestly a puzzle at the best of times. It was different now though, there was a cloudy haze between them and he couldn't read her anymore. He couldn't fathom if it was just the stress of the last couple of weeks getting to her or whether she was purposely blocking him out again. Either way, he was determined to get the bottom of her frustrating behaviour.

/

"What the hell do you think you were doing, Michael?" Anna could no longer bury her anger. Her brother's behaviour was starting to worry her.

"I needed to speak to her! She's having my baby! I have the right to speak to her!" He roared unsteadily, his stance looking incredibly unbalanced. He was drunk. "I just want to talk." His voice lowered, sadness washing over him. "That's all, Anna. I just want to talk to her."

"So you think showing up at her house in this state is the way to go about it? What are you playing at? What if she'd actually been home? Then what?" Her voice was shaking with anger, he'd called her in a fumbled panic outside Connie's house in broad daylight. He'd been trying to get inside, luckily she wasn't home and he was far too drunk to function. "Michael." She pleaded. "You need to get a grip! If not for yourself then at least for your child!" The last part slipped out before she even had chance to contemplate it's effect.

"So you think it's mine too?" He slurred, swaying on the spot.

"Michael, I don't know." Smoothing her hand over the top of her head she took a deep breath. "I have to be at work in twenty minutes, I'll try and speak to her-"

"Anna." He gushed. "Thank you, I pr-"

"On one condition." Her voice was stern all of a sudden. "You don't touch a drop of alcohol again, you go upstairs, shower, sleep it off and do not leave this house until I say so. I swear to God, Michael. If I find out you've gone anywhere near her house again, I'll call the police." She was in control now, her body shaking as she read him his orders, he looked like a child as he nodded obediently.

"I will, Anna, I promise I will." His lips were lazy in their effort of pronunciation. Finally feeling like she had the upper hand in this situation, she watched him slump up the stairs slowly before she took a couple of deep breaths and left for work.

/

"Time of death, eleven twenty-seven." Her words were breathy with emotion, an eight year old girl laying on the bed before them. Only two of their seven casualties survived the major RTC. Neither her or her staff were responsible, she knew that, but that didn't relieve any of the guilt and blame from her shoulders. Resus was gloomy this morning, tainted with only deaths so far.

"We need to inform her parents." Greg spoke delicately, looking at Connie's exhausted face. "I'll go and find them now."

"No." She stopped him. "I'll do it." He knew better than to argue with her, so he let her go. Shooting Charlie a worried glance as she left the room.

Aside from a patient dying, informing relatives of their passing was the next worst thing about their jobs. Her hormones were all over the place as it was but having to explain to these broken people that their eight year old child had just died tipped her over the edge. Having completed the heart-wrenching task, she sought refuge in her office. Closing herself into the silent room, she let it's tranquility calm her. She threw her stethoscope down on her desk and slumped into her chair, her hands massaging her temples therapeutically. She knew she'd been a bitch to Sam, he just never got it though. No matter how many times she'd say it or express it with her actions when she wanted to be left alone he would still persist in harassing her. Her sleep was all over the place, and she was barely getting any if that. She felt mentally and emotionally exhausted. On a positive note, her scan had shown no abnormalities. Her baby was okay and seemingly unscathed by her recent measles infection. Grace was no longer giving her the cold shoulder and seemed as though she was even warming to the idea of having a baby brother. Although she was still carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, this took a load off.

Her mind spiralled with a million thoughts, call her crazy but she was half tempted to kip in the on-call room, at least she'd be guaranteed more than two hours of sleep in there and not every noise would wake her up and have her fearing for her life. She felt like she was losing her grip on reality, Michael had shown up at her house twice, what was to stop him from doing it again? After all, he had more reason to now if he suspected she was carrying his child. Well, she is carrying his child. Her breaths quickened as she once again became overwhelmed with the whole realisation of things. She could almost trick herself into believing it was Sam's baby but every so often she'd be hit with the sick reality of it all and it would knock her back ten steps.

"Connie, I don't care what mood you're in, we need to talk." He barged in, as per usual, closing the door behind him. He turned to face her, opening his mouth to speak but catching sight of her breathless state he was crouched at her side immediately. "Hey, hey, hey it's okay." He soothed quickly. "Just copy my breaths, okay? In and out, nice and slowly." He emphasised his own breathing pattern, her hand gripping his unexpectedly. He was shocked, admittedly but kept hold of it regardless. This just affirmed his earlier suspicion that something was playing on her mind. She was still struggling to get back into a normal rhythm and she avoided all eye contact as she fought her own body to breathe.

"Mrs Beauchamp, you're needed in resus-" Anna was soon to regret her decision not to knock as she stood open-mouthed in the doorway, walking in on some sort of personal matter.

"Not now, get out." Sam uttered quickly, attempting to give Connie as much privacy as possible, not to mention trying to keep the situation feeling safe and comfortable for her.

"Sorry." She stammered. "I just-"

"Just go, I'll be out as soon as I can." He spoke again with authority, his eyes telling her to leave now without raising his voice. Yelling was a definite no-no in a situation like this. He just had to stay calm in order for her to calm down. The door closed quickly, allowing him to return his concentration to Connie and her erratic breathing.

Having emptied out a brown bag for her to breathe into, he handed it to her straight after Anna left the room. That helped more than anything, it still took her a few minutes to calm down completely.

"I'm coming straight back, don't move." He warned kindly before dashing back out on to the front line.

/

Anna was stood still at the nurses station, frozen to the spot. What the hell was all of that about? Perhaps she had seen Michael outside her house this morning? Her mind raced with thoughts, she needed to get some sort of answer for Michael. That was her condition, she told him if he was to do as she'd asked then she'd give him an answer. But how? Her face was pained with stress but a developing interaction before her may just be the answer. Her eyes narrowed over the many faces and people crowding the corridor, her concentration fixed on Sam as her ushered Charlie into the staff room. Before her mind could even contemplate it, she was stood at the side entrance door, listening in on their conversation.

"Another panic attack?" Charlie's voice was laced with concern. "Perhaps it was the whole measles situation, there was a lot of uncertainty surrounding the baby's chances of survival, that's enough for any expecting woman to have a panic attack."

"No, something else has happened but I don't know what." He looked perplexed and Charlie felt for him, he really did.

"You think it has something to do with Michael?" His voice was low but Anna heard it perfectly well, her ears straining even harder now that Michael's name had been mentioned.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him since he was admitted here after the car crash." He shifted under Charlie's gaze. "I think he knows it's his baby."

"How?" The older nurse questioned worriedly.

"He showed up at her house a few weeks ago, drunk again." He spoke disgustedly, causing Anna's heart to ache for her troubled brother. Growing frustrated with how they were speaking she headed straight to the relatives room to allow herself to calm down, missing the most integral part for Charlie and Sam's conversation.

"He tried to kill her? Why the hell wasn't he locked up?" Charlie questioned furiously, not only angry at that but at the fact that it just so happened to be the night he'd showed up at her house to apologise and then decided against it. If only he'd stuck to his gut instinct, he could have done something. Anything.

"He got off, community service and mandatory AA counselling."

"So, he's still out there and now with the knowledge that she's carrying his child?"

"I think it's bothering her, she looks like she hasn't slept in weeks."

They both exchanged worrying glances before finishing up their conversation and headed their separate ways. Sam making his way back to Connie's office. She was in a more relaxed state now, going through paperwork at her desk, she looked sheepishly at him for a brief second as he entered.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks." She cleared her throat. "Before you ask, I don't know what happened. I just, panicked." She sounded angry again but he was going to put a stop to this once and for all.

"Cut the crap, Connie. The only person who knows what's going on with you right now is you."

"See." She smiled irately. "If I'd known this was going to be the outcome of me letting you in on strict instructions not to suffocate me then I never would have let you get close in the first place! Countless times I have warned you to leave me alone, to back off just a fraction so that I can breathe but you never listen! You never have! And you know what? I don't think you ever will!"

"Oh." He laughed, showing no sign of humour as he leant forward on one foot. "That is rich, Connie. Because the only person responsible of suffocating you at the moment is you." He retorted quickly. "You trap yourself in a bubble of fear and worry and you don't let anyone in to help! You let it take over you, you tackle everything on your own and you can't see what it's doing to you! Look at you! You look as though you haven't slept in weeks, you're thinner now than before you were pregnant, you can't even focus on small tasks! You're having panic attacks!" His sentence trailed off noticing that she was scoffing at his words.

"Please, don't make me laugh." She shook her head. "And what? You think me talking to you or opening up to you will take back any of this?" She motioned to her five-month bump beneath her black blouse. "I deal with everything on my own, that's the way it's always been. I don't need anybody else!"

"Why face things alone when I'm stood here begging you to let me in? I don't know how many times I can repeat this situation, Connie. I really don't. I'm tired of it. I stayed here in Holby to be closer to Grace. Tell me now, if there is nothing between us then I'll happily head back to the states. Grace can choose who she stays with. I didn't stick around to treated like this." His ultimatum rang loudly through the small room. Her head spinning, she couldn't lose him. This is what she needed. A small wakeup call of what she might lose if she kept up this lone rider behaviour. Because Christ knows, she desperately didn't want to be on her own right now. She sat back down again defeatedly, looking down whilst she spoke.

"I can't sleep." She shrugged. "It sounds ridiculous and I hate myself for it but I feel like if I close my eyes for too long he'll be there, I know he's out there but when he'll next pop up again I have no idea and it's exhausting me." He was deeply shocked at her honest words. He'd genuinely expected her to book his flights for him and wave him off now but this was totally not what he'd imagined. She really did need him. But did she want him?

"I don't think you should stay at yours tonight. I have spare room, you can stay there for however long you need." He could sense she wanted desperately to refuse his kind offer but at the same time she was so tired she'd honestly contemplated sleeping in the hospital so she didn't breathe a word, this he took as a thank you. He felt stupid for having offered her the spare room but he didn't know where they stood with one another at the moment and felt that if he didn't mention the spare room he'd appear to be acting very forward.

"Sam." She caught him as he was about to leave, her words almost whispered. "Thank you."

/

"Well, you look a little more presentable." She looked him up and down in her kitchen after closing the blinds and blocking out the dark night sky. "You really scared me today, Michael."

"I know, I'm sorry." He sighed. "I just had a little slip, that's all."

"Well a little slip is something you can't afford to be doing, especially if you're going to fight for your baby." Her words drew a deadly silence upon them.

"My baby? So it's mine?" His words were gushing happily. "How? Did she tell you?"

"Not exactly, I overheard Sam Strachan talking to one of the senior nurses today. He said it was your baby."

"And you're sure that's what he said?"

"Loud and clear." She kept the part about Connie having a panic attack to herself, she didn't know why but she felt as though he didn't need to be aware of that small detail right now.

"So, now what?"

"I guess you need to speak to her, so long as you're sober. Then you can talk it out properly, if it is your baby then you have the right to be involved."

"She's stubborn, Anna. She'll keep me out as best she can, trust me, she's a pro at that."

"Look, leave all of that to me. I'll think of something." She spoke surely but on the inside she had no idea what she was going to do.

/

"I left a couple of clean towels on your bed too. There's an ensuite, feel free to use it." He smiled as he let her in, she went home briefly once she'd finished work to get some of her belongings.

She wasn't staying long, just so that she could catch up on some much needed sleep. The black circles under her eyes were the only bags of hers that weren't bearing a designer label. She didn't like this unpolished look she was sporting at the moment and the sooner she caught up on some sleep the sooner she could get back to normal. She was just glad that the news was out now, it was common knowledge throughout the hospital that she was pregnant and nobody seemed to be gossiping about the identity of the Father, which was one less brick upon her shoulders.

"Thanks, I won't be here long-"

"Stay as long as you need, I'm sure Gracie'll like it too." He smiled. "She's at a friend's tonight but she'll be back with us tomorrow." He was totally unaware of it but his last sentence pulled at her heartstrings so hard she felt like a bus had hit her. She'll be back with us tomorrow. Us. That small, two lettered word that signified something so much bigger than what it was. A family unit, they'd all be under the same roof together for the very first time. "Connie?"

"Hm?" He'd snapped her out of her thoughts.

"I asked if you wanted something to eat?"

"Oh, no I'm fine thanks. I ate before I got here." She readjusted her stance, her bag becoming heavy in her grip.

"Sorry, let me take that upstairs for you-"

"No, it's fine I can manage." Suddenly aware of her words she realised she was doing exactly what they'd spoken about hours earlier in her office. His eyes were locked on to hers, his hands on her bag as he waited for her to finally let go of it. To his surprise, she did before thanking him. She had a long way to go but shutting everyone out for so long made it hard to let them back in again, it was almost an effort if she was being honest.

The evening swam by with no dramas arising, she'd shocked them both by accompanying him in his living room just as he finished up some paperwork. Both of them still fully-dressed in their work attire, a bad routine each of them had gotten into the habit of doing.

"So, how is Medical Director life treating you?" She stood close to the fire, being warm at the moment was of extra comfort to her. "The paperwork drowning you yet?"

"Surprisingly, no." He smiled, locking the top drawer upon putting everything away. "I was taught by the best remember? Paperwork is just as important as the exciting stuff." He mimicked her previously uttered sentence from years and years ago. She smiled small but genuinely before drifting off off into a daze, her eyes scanning the room. It wasn't at all like her living room. Equally as nice, she had to admit he had taste with furniture too but his was littered with family photographs. In a way it was heart-warming, she couldn't do the same for she only had Grace in her life.

"You used to be blonde?" She smiled looking from the photograph of a young Sam Strachan on his fire place back to him at his desk, he looked embarrassed.

"Yes." He admitted coyly before speaking up in a flat tone. "But that's not me." He could see the confusion on her face as she glanced back at the picture, trying to see if her eyes were deceiving her. They weren't though, it definitely looked like Sam and even Grace shared a resemblance. He got to his feet and approached the fire place, picking up the photo frame as he too studied the image. "It's my brother, Noah."

"You have a brother? You look so alike." She stared at the picture in awe, they could have been twins.

"Had." He corrected sadly and put the frame back where it was, her mind racing with what to say next but she couldn't think of anything. "He died when I was in my early twenties."

"Oh God, Sam I'm sor-"

"No, no." He smiled. "Don't be sorry, you didn't know."

"You've never mentioned him before."

"You've never asked." He looked at her warmly, giving her a small hint. That's when it hit her. She'd never asked him anything about his life or his family or anything. He'd repeatedly harassed her about hers but she never disclosed anything. That's where they were different.

"I'm just not in the habit of asking about people's lives, it's nothing personal."

"I know." He smiled. "I'm not just people though, am I?"

"I guess not." She smiled back uncomfortably before turning around and sitting down on his sofa, he read her body language and took a seat on the opposite sofa.

"He was younger than me, I was supposed to protect him. You know, as the older brother, that was my job."

"What happened?" She asked cautiously, her hand automatically moving to her lower abdomen feeling movement as she awaited an answer.

"He got into a bad crowd of friends towards the end of secondary school, overdosed before his seventeenth birthday." There was a strong sense of sadness to his short answer, she figured he didn't want to speak about it.

"You shouldn't blame yourself, you can't control other people's actions."

"I know." He shook his head. "I just always have these niggling thoughts you know, like what if I'd picked him up that night like we'd originally planned? Maybe he'd still be here." The atmosphere was dark all of a sudden, her hand still soothing her bump.

"I blamed myself when my Mother died, I still do."

"You should take your own advice." He smiled, despite the gloomy conversation. "I never hear you speaking about your childhood, ever. Not even with Grace." He was prying now, he knew it but given the current topic he wasn't sure if she'd caught on yet.

"There's not much to say, it was pretty miserable."

"You didn't get along with your Father, did you?"

"No." She scoffed. "He was a nightmare."

"He didn't seem that bad when I met him in hospital." He leant forward with intrigue but she shut it down immediately.

"You don't know the half of it." Clearing her throat, she inched forward on the sofa before standing up. "Anyway I, uh, I should probably get some sleep." He winced regrettably. Knowing he'd pushed too far, he didn't hold back with his final question.

"That's why you didn't want me involved when Grace was born, isn't it? You could never depend on your Father and wanted to protect Grace from the same thing possibly happening to her."

"You're the Father every child deserves." She stood still in the doorway. "I'm sorry I ever doubted that and put you in the same category as my Father." Turning to face him, she smiled apologetically.

"About to reprise my role when the next one's born." He joked lightly but could see she wasn't up for it. "I meant what I said, Connie. I'm still here. I'm going to be a Father to this baby regardless of how often we fight." He stood up, approaching her slowly. "You can't fool me. I know you too well now. I know you're struggling with this silently, I want to be there so that you're not reminded of him every time you look at this baby. Every time you see his little face you'll think of me instead." He smiled. "He'll pick up my annoying habits and resemble you and Grace in appearance. Not one single part of this baby will resemble that man. I won't allow it." He placed his hand on her shoulder, pulling her to him and she couldn't fight it anymore. She melted into him, allowing his arms to embrace her tightly, his chin resting gently on the top of her head. She couldn't even explain how nice it felt to be held so securely.

She felt safe for the first time in weeks.

Little did she know what loomed ahead.

*Thanks so much for reading, once again I am trying to space out the amount for drama that happens, just because I don't want a million things happening at once. I hope you all enjoyed, I apologise in advance for any typos, I didn't have time to proof-read properly! Please review!*