Disclaimer: They all belong to Janet Evanovich, except the ones who are mine!
Warnings: You name it, you've been warned!
A/N: Christie, our Fan Fiction Goddess, what would I do without you? I heart U! Thanks to all the readers and reviewers. I'm still a review slut, so please keep 'em coming.
Thanks for reading and reviewing 'The Devil and Miss Plum'!
As The Worm Turns!
Stayce (XJerseyGirl)
Chapter 25: Fighting Fish!
I dragged myself up slowly from a deep sleep. My dreams had been filled with hands reaching out to grab me; of trying to run away but my legs wouldn't cooperate. Dreams of clawing my way out of Stiva's coffin, struggling for air. I had been fighting a nightmare and I was exhausted.
I could feel the dried tear tracks on my face and my eyelids were so heavy they wouldn't open. My tongue was thick in my dry mouth. The dull headache that throbbed in the back of my head set the stage for the ache in my heart. I felt a blanket of sadness and depression that laid so heavily on me that it was hard to breathe and I didn't even have the energy to try to open my eyes.
I turned over onto my back and rubbed my hands over my face, finally prying my eyes open. I was in a bedroom, nothing fancy, but nice furniture, big TV, good sheets, clean, comfortable.
I was in the safe house, and even though I couldn't remember it, I knew exactly how I got here.
The drapes were pulled across the windows but I could tell that it was still dark. It was gonna be a long night. As I laid there I could still hear Ranger's voice echoing over and over in the back of my head, "Trust me. It'll be alright, I promise. I promise."
I never could have imagined it would come to this. If I had, I would have prepared myself, I would have braced myself for that blow. I would have expected it and even if he had caught me off guard, I could have at least said to myself that I should have know it was coming. But he blind sided me. He lied to me, and I trusted him so completely I never even suspected he would do that. I was too old to be this naive.
I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. Instead, I made the physical effort to sit up; my body felt like it was made out of lead and my head floated around near the ceiling like a helium balloon. I sat for a minute with my head in my hands, trying to clear my foggy brain but nothing was helping.
Why did he do this to me? Worse yet, how could I have been stupid enough to fall for it? All that stuff in the bedroom, all the, "Oh I want to wrap myself around you ... I want to comfort you ... I want to protect you." It had all been lies. It was just a distraction. He probably practiced in front of a mirror to make sure he looked and sounded sincere. He doesn't talk like that! All that mushy shit? Holy God!! What a dope I am! I fell for it hook, line and sinker. I felt so stupid.
I realized now that I couldn't trust any of them. Tank, Bobby, Lester ... they were all Ranger's men and would do whatever he told them to do. They were like those bobble head dolls on car dashboards that just nod their heads. All the guys knew that since Stiva locked me in that coffin, my greatest fear was being trapped in a tight, dark space. I guess my fears were overshadowed by what Ranger wanted. I found that out last night, the hard way. Another lesson learned about being part of the team. I guess that I'm gonna have to start my own team, I thought sadly, one that would be loyal to me.
It dawned on me that I wasn't angry. Where was the outrage I should have felt? Where was the fury? I wanted to be angry, I needed to be angry! I knew what to do with that! Being mad energized me. It would make me want to hop out of this bed and tear the first poor bastard who came through that door into dog food. I'd gut them and leave them bleeding on the floor, then laugh as I stepped over the body. But I didn't feel any of that. All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and hide under the bed. I wanted to sleep until it all went away. I never felt like this before, and it scared me.
I heard a small noise and the bedroom door opened. I watched through the curtain of curly hair that hung over my face. Lester came in and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed. He had a mug in his hand and held it out to me. "Hey Bombshell, I thought you could use some tea." I stayed where I was, with my head on my knees, and ignored him.
He seemed surprised at my reaction to him. "Steph, what's the matter? You feel that bad?"
He tried again. "Look Bomber, Ranger said that if you felt hungover, you'd want McDonald's. Do you want me to get that for you? Tell me what you need and I'll get it. Aspirin, Tylenol, Advil, whatever. Steph?" He reached out to touch my arm and I pulled it away from him. I wasn't drinking that tea, I wasn't eating McDonald's, I wouldn't touch anything they gave me. The last thing I wanted was to be drugged again. "I'm just gonna leave the cup here. You let me know if you need anything, okay?" He stood there for a minute and then just turned and left.
As soon as the door closed I stumbled across the room and turned the key in the lock. It wouldn't keep any of them out, but at least they couldn't just walk in on me without warning. I was lightheaded and dizzy and the room was spinning. I put my ear against the door and listened. I could hear Lester's voice; it sounded like he was on the phone, probably with Ranger. It wasn't a long conversation and I will say that he sounded concerned. I couldn't hear everything he said because it sounded like he was pacing, but I did catch a couple things. I heard him say, "not good ... pale ... and won't talk to me."
I looked around the bedroom and realized that my purse and bag weren't here. Shit! I wanted my gun and cell phone. It was an awful feeling to want to have protection from the people, who up to last night, I trusted with my life. I hated that they thought it was okay to gang up on me and take away my free will, to force me to do something. I don't think I had ever felt so alone. But this was almost funny. Who would have ever thought that Stephanie Plum would feel safer with a gun. I wish I could laugh about it.
I went into the bathroom and almost freaked when I caught a look at myself in the mirror. I was downright scary. I looked like death warmed over, even to myself. I was pale and had huge dark circles under my bloodshot eyes. I looked like I'd been on a three day bender. I don't know what they gave me last night but I looked hung over and felt worse. I would have killed for "The Cure" but unless I went and bought it myself, I wasn't gonna trust anything they offered me.
I bent over and drank about a gallon of water from the faucet. My stomach immediately rebelled and I spent, I don't know how long, being violently sick in the toilet. Every time I thought I was done, another round started. I wanted to crawl into the shower in the worst way, but I didn't have the energy. I had to be on my guard. Some guard I made! I was shaking and sweating bullets and all I could do was lay on the cold tile floor next to the toilet.
At some point I heard a high performance engine pull up under the window. I didn't even have the energy to roll my eyes. I knew who that was. I heard the car door slam and swift footsteps come around the side of the house. Great! Just what I needed ... company. I was in no condition to deal with him, unfortunately, I couldn't deal with anything at this point and just laid there on the floor curled up in the fetal position.
I heard the bedroom doorknob rattle, but the door was locked. Maybe he'd just go away. Ranger called my name, his voice was soft and concerned. When I didn't answer, he knocked. At first it was a gentle tap against the door and progressively got louder as I didn't respond.
"Steph." Ranger said, his voice calm but firm. "Stephanie. Open the door."
I heard him say something, to Lester I suppose. Finally he turned back to the door, "Babe, if you don't open the door, I'm going to force it open. At least say something so I'll know that you're alright."
I couldn't have answered if my life depended on it. I couldn't even keep my eyes opened.
"Babe, I'm coming in so if you're near the door, back away so you don't get hurt. Steph? I'm coming in now." I heard him put a foot to the door right above the knob. The door crashed open and hit the wall behind it. His footsteps crossed the room and from my vantage point, flat on the floor, I could see the toes of his boots when he came over to the bathroom doorway.
"Jesus!" In a second he was kneeling over me, brushing my hair off my face, checking my eyes, fingers to my neck checking my pulse. He wet down a towel and ran it over my face and neck and down my arms, but when he tried to sit me up I was hit by another wave of nausea and I hung back over the bowl. There was nothing left in me to throw up and my body was wracked by huge dry heaves, the tears just streamed down my face. When they finally passed Ranger caught me as I sagged back to the floor.
I made a pitiful attempt at pushing him away, telling him I hated him and to leave me alone. He just held me and murmured against my hair, "I know Babe ... I know." When he finally decided that I had hit empty, he lifted me and carried me over to the bed, laying me down and gently tucking me in.
I only remember bits and pieces of the next couple of hours. Ranger and Lester trying to get me to drink something and me fighting them, trying to get away, telling them I wasn't gonna let them drug me again. I don't know who won that fight. I think Bobby came in and I felt a needle stick my arm. Ranger, held me and ran his hand up and down my arm, saying softly, "It'll be alright, Babe, I promise."
He promised, he promised ... my heart broke all over again and I started to cry, softly at first until the wracking sobs took over. I didn't remember any more.
When I woke up it was daylight. Ranger was holding me gently, like he was afraid he'd break me. My head was pounding and my throat was sore and after the workout they had, I should have abs of steel for the rest of my life. I pulled away from Ranger and turned toward the edge of the bed. I wanted to get away from him but I didn't trust my legs to hold me. I was weak and had the shakes and the damn bed wouldn't stop spinning.
I could hear low voices coming from the other room. One voice got louder and I recognized it as Morelli's when he shouted, "What the fuck?" Morelli was snarling, "Manoso! You really are fucking crazy! You drugged her and put her in a box? The thing she's most afraid of? You mother fucker!" as he strode in from the other room.
Joe hesitated for a second when he saw me laying there and muttered, "Oh God, Stephanie," then crossed the floor in two strides. I don't know where I got the strength but I leapt up and flung myself at him. He staggered back a step as my weight hit him full force. I think I climbed Joe like a tree, hiding my face in his neck and wrapping my arms and legs around him.
I have to admit, I was relieved to see him. For all our arguments, differences, and problems I trusted that Joe would never intentionally do anything to physically hurt me. His being here would give me a break from having to deal with Ranger, a chance to clear my head and think straight. Just loud enough for Ranger to hear, I said, "Make him go away." He nodded back at me.
In his best 'cop' voice Joe said, "Manoso. Please step out of the room so I can talk to Stephanie."
"Stephanie and I need to have a talk first. We have a lot to straighten out." Ranger's voice was firm, but neutral.
Ranger stood up from the bed and walked over to stand next to us. He moved to touch my hair and Joe turned me away from him.
"Steph obviously doesn't want you in here. I don't think she's in any condition to straighten out anything right now."
"I want to hear her tell me that herself, Morelli."
If she's telling me what to say to you, I'd take that to mean that she doesn't want to talk to you herself."
"Morelli ..."
Something in me broke. I tried to talk but all that came out were huge, shuddering sobs. Joe moved to sit me down on the edge of the bed and I just hid my face in my hands. Both of them reached out to touch me. With a speed that amazed me, Joe stood up and smashed his fist into Ranger's jaw, catching him completely off guard and making him take a couple of steps back. I jumped up from the bed and stood between them but my knees buckled. Ranger had instinctively fisted his hands and assumed an aggressive stance but immediately relaxed when he realized that no further attack was coming, and he caught me as I fell. Lester came barreling in, but stopped short at a look from Ranger.
Ranger straightened, his blank face in place. "You only get one free shot, Morelli."
"That one was for Stephanie since she can't do it for herself." Morelli said. "Mine will come later."
Ranger looked Morelli in the eye and gave him a small nod. They had reached an understanding. They still had to work together. We all did.
Ranger sat me back down on the bed and gave me a final look, but I couldn't meet his eyes. He left the room, pulling the door shut behind him, and while it didn't latch because of the broken lock, it did stay closed. As soon as we were alone I asked Joe to turn on the TV, adjusting the volume to drown out our conversation.
He came back and squatted in front of me, taking me hands in his and looking deeply into my eyes. His voice was soft and gentle. "Feel as bad as you look, Cupcake?"
I nodded. "Worse."
The expression in Joe's eyes said it all. I didn't think I had any more tears left, but I felt my them well up in my eyes and spill down my cheeks..
"I can't believe I'm gonna say this Cupcake, but you're in love with the man. When we used to fight you'd get angry, pissed, furious, murderous." He smiled at me sadly. "But you never got hurt. You never felt hurt over me." He took a deep breath and blew it out. "You would always pack up and run. Don't run anymore, Steph. This time you have to stay and fix it."
"I don't know how, Joe. I always went into denial. I'd run away and after awhile things would go back to normal and we'd just pretend that nothing happened."
"And that why we're where we are, Steph. You have to stand up on your hind legs and fight for what you want. Even if you're not sure how, you know you have to try."
I couldn't argue with him. My usual routine didn't work. Ignoring and denying weren't gonna fix this. I had to come up with a new plan. When Ranger and I had negotiated our agreement, I had promised not to run away. I guess I had to learn how to fight for what I wanted.
"I need to get cleaned up first, and I need to eat something. Could you get my bag and purse, I don't know where they are?"
"I'll be right back." Joe went out into the living room.
Almost immediately, I heard angry voices coming from the other side of the door. In a few minutes Joe came back in, my bag and suitcase with him. I rummaged around in my bag and found my cell phone and guns. So far, so good. I grabbed clothes and took a quick shower. The pounding water cleared my head and made my aching body feel better. I did the hair and makeup thing and threw on my clothes.
When I walked out of the bathroom, the smell of food hit me and my stomach rolled a little. The bags were on the small table under the window. There was soup and a sandwich and vanilla milk shake, all nice and bland. Lester, swearing that it wouldn't be tampered with, had gone to a local restaurant for take out. I ate it without enthusiasm but had to admit, I felt better.
Joe and I talked about tonight, what I needed to do and how. I'd seen enough TV to know how a Fed acts at a crime scene, so that was no problem. We talked about Carl and Big Dog and Eddie and Mary Lou and Connie and Lula hearing that I was dead. He assured me to that this was absolutes necessary for the whole scheme to be believable. He also pointed out that since this was the Fed's idea, nobody could blame me. It wasn't any real consolation but that made me feel a lot better and I guess I finally relaxed about the whole nasty business.
Then Joe brought up Ranger and all those lovely relaxed feelings went out the window. He was right, of course; I needed to settle things with Ranger fast so that emotion, neither his nor mine, would effect tonight's little tragedy. Like it or not, we had to talk. But I needed to make a point first.
Joe went out to 'warm up the audience' so to speak. I could hear him reading Ranger the riot act and strangely, I didn't hear Ranger saying anything back. I heard Joe tell him that they were both guilty of trying to mold me into what they wanted me to be. I'll bet Ranger just loved that! I also heard Joe say that he backed off because he thought that Ranger could make me happy and give me the life I needed, the not material stuff, but the freedom to fly. I had to smile. Now that it was too late for us, Joe had actually learned something about me.
Ranger tapped on the door and pushed it open slowly. He stood for a minute before he walked into the room. I was standing with my hands on the back of the armchair, looking down at the floor. If I didn't know him better, I would have said that he was nervous, maybe as nervous as I was.
"Can I sit down, Babe?"
I gave a single nod, and Ranger moved over and sat on the end of the bed. I just stayed where I was, looking at the floor between us.
"Babe, you should sit down, too."
I came around the chair and sat, tucking my legs up under me. I really wished I had a pillow to hold, I felt sort of naked without it. I glanced up at him when he wasn't looking and noticed the bruise that was forming on his jaw. Morelli really had socked him good.
"Are you feeling any better now? Your color is back."
I nodded.
"Steph, we both know that I had to get you out of there. If Bobby had walked in just a few minutes later ..."
"Please don't go there, Ranger." I closed my eyes and shook my head.
"You have to know that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you."
"How can you say that?" I asked, trying not to let all the pain I was feeling seep into my voice. "How can you justify what you did?"
"Steph," Ranger reached out for my hand, but I moved it out of his reach, "look at me."
When I didn't raise my eyes he got up from the bed and squatted in front of me.
"I had a job to do. I couldn't let emotion get in the way, I had to focus on the goal."
"The goal. So the goal was to feed me a line of bullshit that I was stupid enough to believe because I loved and trusted you? The goal that let you drug me and stuff me into a small, dark box, like a coffin? Or how about the goal that allowed you to cart me off someplace like some kind of kidnap victim?" I was on my feet now, pacing, unable to hide the bitterness in my voice. "Is that the goal you're talking about because I just wanna be sure we're both on the same page!"
"I had to protect you at all costs." Ranger's voice was quiet and conversational as if none of this was really bothering him at all.
"You expect me to believe that there was absolutely no other way to get me out of RangeMan." I matched my voice to his.
"Stephanie, I was trying to protect you, not dominate you."
"I think you had a different reason."
"My only reason was to keep you safe?"
I looked up at him, with as neutral an expression as I could muster. "I think you were trying to sabotage 'us'. I think you were looking for the deal breaker."
He hesitated and his eyes met mine. Time stood still, and in that second I knew I hit the nail right on the head. I wasn't prepared to be right and it hurt more than I realized. "I rest my case."
I walked past him, opened the door and went out into a short hall that led to the living room. I found Morelli, Christie, Lester, Tank, and Bobby. They had obviously heard the entire conversation. Ranger followed and just leaned against the wall.
"So now what?" His voice was flat and neutral.
"Now I'll tell you what I'm going to do," I looked around at the group. "Later on Dean will make me up. I'll go to RangeMan tonight and then go back to the same hotel that Christie is staying in. I won't stay here. The Feds can register me under an assumed name and I'll live there like she does. I'll stay in disguise until there's an all clear and then I'll go back to my apartment. I'll work with Christie to find Karvic, and life will go on. If I need a bodyguard, I'm sure that Christie can get a Fed assigned to me, and Joe is always around."
"You mean in addition to RangeMan." He stated it matter of factly.
"No, I don't want anyone from RangeMan assigned to me."
That was quite a bomb I dropped. Every head snapped in my direction. Stunned would be a good description of the reaction. Tank, Bobby, and Lester riveted their attention on me.
"Why?" There was a touch of surprise in his normally neutral voice.
"Because they're your men."
"And you don't trust them?"
"I don't trust you, Ranger." I waited for that to sink in before I continued, "and your men all do anything you tell them to do. I found that out last night. But I guess I should thank all of you." I looked around at the Merry Men. "You taught me a valuable lesson about trust. I put so much faith in all of you to protect me, that I never even thought about protecting myself and I should have." I looked at Ranger. "You were right all along," I said with a sad laugh, "I do need to be more aware of my surroundings." Ranger looked like I slapped him. I could see the hurt in his eyes despite the blank face being in place.
"Babe ..."
"How did you expect me to react?" I said, throwing my hands up in the air. "Did you think that I'd sulk and cry and stamp my foot, and when my tantrum was over, I'd forget it all? I have to start protecting myself, Ranger. I just never thought it would be from all of you."
I walked past him to go back into the bedroom, then I stopped and half turned around. His back was to me. "The saddest part of this whole thing is that as terrified as I would have been, if you had 'asked' me, I would have done it. I would have climbed into that box and let you seal me into that dark, tight, coffin, because I would have done anything ... anything that you asked me to do. That's how much I trusted you." I watched his back straighten and I could tell that had gotten to him.
I went back into the bedroom and pushed the door closed. I leaned back against it and slid to the floor and just let the tears come.
For all the times I had broken up with Morelli I had never felt like this. It was like there was a hole where my heart was supposed to be. I had never felt these waves of loss and panic wash over me like this so I sat and rocked against the pain. I had always felt anger, indignation, resentment toward Joe. There had always been a need to get back at him, to even the score. But this, this was something new, and it cut clear through to my soul. For the very first time in my life, I was lost.
It seemed like the floor was my friend today, I had spent more time there than anyplace else. By the time I had run out of tears I was laying in a heap in front of the door. I may have dozed off because I became aware of being slid across the floor by the opening door. Strong arms scooped me up and held me tightly to him. I threaded my fingers into his hair, burying my face in his neck and just absorbed his heat and strength.
Ranger carried me to the bed and laid me down, sitting on the edge next to me. He ran his fingers through my hair over and over in a hypnotic rhythm until my eyelids just couldn't stay open. He touched my face with the tips of his fingers, tracing over my forehead and eyebrows, my eyelids and cheekbones, over my mouth and chin like a blind man, memorizing me. Slowly, he bent down to me and hesitated a moment before he kissed me ever so gently.
I opened my eyes and searched his face. I saw a sadness there that I had never seen before. He looked lost, as lost as I felt.
"Where do we go from here, Steph?" His voice was so low it was barely a whisper.
Before I could say a word, the bedroom door opened and Bobby stuck his head in.
"Sorry Slugger. Ranger, the office just called. Jono Le Blanc wants to talk to you, they're gonna patch his call through to your secure phone."
Ranger was on his feet and stalking out of the room our conversation forgotten. He stopped short and turned back to me. "Come on Steph, this concerns you, too." He held out his hand to me. I got off the bed, grabbed it and let him lead me out into the living room.
Ranger's phone was on the coffee table and everybody else was sitting around looking at it as if it might levitate. Ranger turned to me, "We told you who Le Blanc is. At this moment, he's probably your biggest threat. He needs the money and he needs the notoriety. Plus he hates me. If we can neutralize him, we can all start to breathe again."
"Why does he hate you so much?" I had a terrible feeling I wasn't going to like this answer.
Bobby spoke up first. "I told you that he got shot up pretty badly during a coup attempt. He was paid to assassinate that country's president." Bobby hesitated, unsure of how much to say, but Ranger gave him a nod. "Our government sent a detail to insure that a friendly nation's government remained in power."
I turned and looked at Ranger. He didn't say anything and I didn't need to be told who had shot Jono Le Blanc. I could imagine that he blamed Ranger for everything and wanted to revenge himself against the handsome, wealthy, successful man he saw as the cause of all his troubles. Le Blanc had lost his stature as an international assassin, his wealth, and his lifestyle. By settling the score with Ranger, he could regain everything that he lost. For me, that was a terrifying thought.
The phone started to ring, and Ranger looked at me, putting his finger to his lips. I nodded in understanding. It wouldn't do to let a World Class Assassin know that he had an audience, especially one that included his potential victim.
Ranger picked up his phone. "Manoso." SWAT Ranger was on duty.
"Mon ami! Comment se va?" From the tone of his voice, Le Blanc sounded like an dear, old friend.
"What do you want, Le Blanc. I don't have time for games." Ranger was all business.
"I understand that you have a lady friend who has made a very rich enemy who wishes her ... gone." His voice was oddly cheerful, considering the subject matter.
"And?"
"And I also understand that she has an even richer 'friend', who wishes to insure her safety." Ranger raised his eyebrow at Tank, Bobby, and Lester who all grinned and nodded at each other. RangeMan ESP and I had no idea what was going on.
"I'm sure that you didn't call to chat about my acquaintances, Le Blanc."
Ranger squeezed my hand at the word 'acquaintance'.
"You never were one to make small talk, Ricardo. Very well then, I believe that I have a mutually beneficial proposition to make and I think it would be in everyone's best interests for us to meet and discuss it."
Tank and Ranger exchanged a look. Tank touched his watch and held up ten fingers to indicate a time. Ranger nodded back in agreement.
"When do you want to meet?"
"I would say as soon as possible."
"You can come to RangeMan at 10 pm tonight. That's the best I can do."
Ranger's voice remained business-like and neutral.
"And you will guarantee my safe passage, yes? You know that I would not appreciate any unpleasant surprises."
"You have my word that neither I nor any of my employees will take any action against you, unless of course, you cause a problem."
"Well, I suppose that is the best I can expect from you. But I know that you are good to your word. You know me too well to play games, eh Ricardo?" His laugh made me shiver, it was that evil.
"I know precisely what you are capable of, Le Blanc."
"A bientot, mon ami!" And he laughed as he hung up.
As soon as Ranger hung up, everyone sprang into action. Tank was barking orders into his phone involving elevated security levels at RangeMan. Bobby was talking to Luis Guzman, Ella's husband, giving him instructions about preparing Ranger's 6th floor Corporate office for the meeting tonight. Lester called Cal about the internal security system. Christie was on the phone with the Fed's and Morelli talked to the Task Force. The only ones without a cell phone attached to their ears were Ranger and me.
I guess the answers to my questions about our relationship were going to have to wait. The questions about this operation couldn't. Ranger still held my hand in his, and he gave it a little shake and tipped his head toward the kitchen, one eyebrow arched. I gave a nod.
I sat at the table and Ranger poured us each a mug of coffee and put the cream and sugar in front of me. I doctored mine and hesitated for the merest second before I took a sip. Ranger reached over and took the mug out of my hand and took a drink, shuddering at the sugar, before handing it back to me.
I took a sip and I asked Ranger if he knew what Le Blanc wanted to talk to him about. Ranger nodded.
"First though, we need to talk about the ... scene outside RangeMan tonight. Did Christie or Morelli go over everything with you? Do you know what you're supposed to do?"
"Yeah, and I've watched enough TV to be able to pull it off. Walk the grid, look for 'clues', check out the crowd without them knowing it. Stuff like that. It should be easy, it's not like I'm supposed to be a CSI or anybody with specialized skills."
"So you aren't nervous about this whole thing?"
"If you mean about being recognized, no. Dean's disguise is great, it let's me talk and move normally and if Eddie didn't recognize me ..." I finished the sentence with a shrug.
Ranger half stood and leaned down, grabbing my chair by the seat and hauling it around the table, closer to him. He sat back down and took my hands in his, studying them carefully before he started to speak. He acted like he was choosing his words carefully. He was quiet a long time, then raised my hands to his lips and kissed the back of each.
"She looks just like you." He shook his head slightly and frowned. His eyes flicked up to mine. "The stunt woman."
I was pretty sure I knew who he was talking about, but I was surprised that this bothered him when so many other things didn't.
He took a deep breath and blew it out. "I saw her this morning after Dean did her makeup. If she doesn't walk or talk, she's your double. It's absolutely bizarre. He turned her around on the stool and she looked at me with those big blue eyes ... it gave me quite a jolt."
"I wonder whether I'll see the similarity or whether it's only other people who can see it? It should be interesting to see myself like you do, for instance." I gave him a rueful smile.
"Babe, she's made up to look like you if you were dead, not ready for a ball." He touched my face gently.
"Oh yeah. I kinda forgot about that. That'll be the hard part, looking at dead me."
"You have no idea," he said softly, his sad eyes on me. "You have no idea."
Tank and Bobby and Lester came into the kitchen. They were all very serious, no joking or kidding. I don't think it was because of what was going to happen tonight. I think it was because of what happened last night, and that they knew I no longer trusted them the way I used to. I was glad to see that they looked like they felt a little uncomfortable.
Ranger looked at me for the longest time, then shook his head as if to clear it. "Did you see the picture of Jono?"
I nodded. "It was in the file of hitmen that Bobby showed me last night. Why does he want to meet with you? Any idea what his mutually beneficial proposal is?"
"I have a pretty good idea." But he didn't say anything else.
"Well?"
"He's gonna tell me that for the million dollars, he won't kill you."
I guess I just stared at him open mouthed. I have no idea what I expected him to say, but it sure as hell wasn't this. I think I did a pretty good imitation of a goldfish, just gulping air through my mouth.
"Well, you can't just hand him a million dollars, so what will you do?"
"No. I'm sure it'll be a wire transfer to the Caymans or some off shore account."
I jumped up so fast that I knocked my chair over. "You can't give him a million dollars! I won't let you. In the first place, do you know how many zeros that is? And how would I ever pay you back? In my whole life I won't earn a million dollars! And ... and ..." I was working up to another good crying jag.
Ranger stood up and grabbed me, giving me a single hard shake. My voice just kinda died in my throat. "Breathe!" he commanded me, and I drew a couple of jagged breaths.
He dipped his head to look me in the eyes. "There is no price ... ever." He just wrapped me in his arms and held me. "Only you, Babe. Only you would be more concerned over the money than over your own life. You never cease to amaze me."
Christie came into the kitchen at that point. "Sorry to break up the party guys, but Dean should be here any minute. He has to teach you to do this makeup yourself, so he wanted some extra time."
"We need a few minutes." Ranger put his hand on the back of my neck and steered me out of the kitchen and into the bedroom. He leaned back against the door. "We have unfinished business, Babe."
"We always have unfinished business, Ranger." We smiled a little sadly at each other. I slipped my arms around his waist and hid my face in his neck, just breathing in his scent. As hurt as I had been and still was, this man could make me feel safe and protected and loved. I couldn't explain it, I knew it made no sense. But there it was. I didn't know how to forgive him, but I couldn't figure out how I'd live without him.
I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. "Ranger," I said softly, "if you're regretting our agreement, if you're looking to get out of the deal, tell me now while I still have some hope of surviving you. Don't drag it out. Just say it and get it over with."
He pulled me tighter to his chest with a groan and rested his cheek against mine. He was quiet for so long that I thought he wasn't going to speak. My heart just hammered in my chest and I started to feel sick again. Finally, I lifted my head so I could look at him, but he wouldn't meet my gaze.
"Babe, we all make mistakes. You have to know that I never intended to hurt you but ... "
TBC ...
Please review. Steph and Ranger take turns reading the reviews to each other while they have breakfast in bed. Please don't disappoint them!