A/N: Hello everyone. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I haven't had a chance to get to them all, but I will. Thank you to everyone still adding me to their alerts and faves. Take care all and Please Read and Review.

Special thanks to Kristine Thorne, my very lovely beta. You have been doing an awesome job even though you've been feeling so poorly lately. Thank you for the continuing support. You rock.

Special thanks as well to PandaHeart for giving this a quick look over as well before I posted it.

Disclaimer, since I think its been a while since I posted one: I don't own anything in the HP universe or make any money off these stories. I only play with the characters for fun and to annoy J.K.R with how much I'm changing her story. lol.

Chapter 24

Hermione wrote the letter for Dumbledore like he asked her to. Sealing it herself in an envelope and adding a charm that only Severus could open it. She wouldn't have Dumbledore changing anything in it. She had carefully worded it so she wouldn't lie to him about anything coming.

She hadn't been able to look at Dumbledore after she gave it to him and left. She didn't even wait to be dismissed either. He seemed to understand this too and let her go without another word.

She slowly made her way down the stairs and out past the statue. Her movement was jerky as she walked the long way back to her dorm. Her face still swollen from her tears and her body exhausted from the emotions pouring through her.

What is the point of going on after I get back? What do I have to look forward to? A life filled with emptiness. Maybe that was her punishment for everything she had changed without meaning to.

Made a man who was supposed to love another, love her instead. Or maybe love her as well, since she knew his deep love for Lily would never disappear. Made a man who had pined for a woman who would never love him in return, now pine for two women.

She had ruined his life and only made it harder for him now. So now she must be punished. Her punishment would be to love a man she could never have. Love a man that would be dead by the time she got back.

She would love him forever. She knew she would never love anyone like she did Severus. Minerva had it right so long ago. The older woman had said that what she had felt for Ron wasn't real and when she found it she'd know.

Well, she knew that what she felt now was real. She knew what she felt was so deep that no one else would ever come close to making her feel what she felt with Severus. That was her punishment. To die alone, just like he did in her past, just like he would again.

She was almost to her dorm when she saw Minerva coming out of it. The woman stopped, startled to see Hermione at all. But was even more so when she saw the absolute despair on Hermione's face, along with the remains of her tears.

"Hermione, what is it? What's happened?" She asked, rushing over to her.

Hermione looked up at Minerva and promptly burst into tears again. Minerva slipped her arms around her. Patting her back and telling her it would be all right, still having no clue what was going on.

Hermione paused and looked up at Minerva, making the woman gasp at the emptiness she saw in her eyes. "It wont be alright Minerva. It won't ever be all right again. It's time. Dumbledore found a way for me to go back and he won't let me stay." She said tonelessly.

Minerva frowned, not liking how Hermione looked or sounded at all. "Come along dear. We'll go to my office and see what we can figure out for you."

One of Minerva's arms was still around Hermione, as she led the young woman back to her office. Getting more and more worried the closer they got when Hermione didn't say a word and simply looked worse and worse.

Once they were inside, Minerva turned to her. "Okay dear, tell me everything. What's happened?"

Hermione sat down when Minerva pushed her into a chair. "Dumbledore has figured it out and I have to go back. I have to go back and be alone." She said numbly.

Minerva frowned. "Well, what if we talk to him? See if you can stay for a bit longer? There's no rush is there?"

Hermione simply shrugged. "He says I can't stay. The longer I stay, the more I risk things changing. He wont let me stay. He said I didn't have to leave tonight, but he'll make me leave soon. He's more powerful than me and can make me leave, no matter what I told him."

Minerva's frown deepened. "What did you tell him?"

Hermione sighed and stood. Minerva watched as the lifeless girl in front of her walked to her stone pensieve. She used her wand and pulled a silvery blue strand out of her temple and let it fall into the bowl.

"See for yourself. I can't cI can't talk about it." Hermione said in her toneless voice once again.

Minerva took a deep breath and stepped over to the stone bowl. She placed her hands on the side of it and fell into the memory. Hermione saw Minerva gasp over what she heard.

When it was finally over, Minerva pulled back and looked at her with tears in her eyes. Hermione pulled the memory back and placed it in her head. She watched Minerva walk to her desk and pull out a handkerchief.

Wiping her eyes and blowing her nose Minerva was thinking. There had to be a way. How can we send Hermione back to live in such misery? She hadn't seen what Dumbledore had seen when Hermione showed him her memories, Hermione hadn't watched them with him, but she had seen the tears in his eyes. She knew it had to have been bad.

Turning back Minerva stared hard at Hermione, taking in her lifeless expression. No, we can't send her back to that. With Hermione looking this bad now, to actually be living that way would kill her in the end. But Minerva had no real idea what all had happened.

"All right. First things first, I need you to show me everything. I need to see your first year, all of it up to the day you arrived here." Minerva said.

Hermione sighed. What good would that do? She had no clue, but she knew it didn't matter anyway. She knew Minerva wouldn't change it either. She couldn't, there was too many things interwoven together.

Too many things that, if changed would simply cause a domino effect. If they stopped one, it would just knock the others out of place. No, there was no changing anything.

With no real emotion involved, Hermione pulled her memories one by one and they watched them. It took hours. Hermione pulled only the pertinent ones to show her, to help speed things along without needless fillers.

Showing her what they dealt with concerning the sorcerer's stone. Hearing the story of how Harry's parents were killed and Voldemort destroyed. Showed her what they dealt with when the Basilisk was loose. Minerva gasped many times over what all she saw, but Hermione knew she hadn't even gotten to the worst memories yet.

She showed her about Sirius escaping and what they dealt with that year. Hearing the story again about how James and Lily were killed and Peter being the one to do it while framing Sirius. Minerva watched it all, but kept her thoughts to herself on it.

She showed too about Harry and the Tri Wizard Tournament. Showed her about Moody coming to teach and finding out it was actually Barty Crouch Jr. Showed how the Wizards cup was a port key to a graveyard where Voldemort waited. Showed her everything Hermione thought might be important. Including Harry saying that Voldemort was back and how Harry's blood had been the key.

She showed the memories during their fifth year. Showed her about Umbridge, hearing Minerva gasp as she saw the students tortured. Showed her how no one believed Harry about Voldemort's return. Showed her the Battle of Ministries and how Sirius died. Even showing how Umbridge was lured in to the forest and taken by the Centaurs.

She showed Minerva her sixth year. Minerva gasping at learning that Dumbledore had been cursed. Gasping even more when she learned that he asks Severus to kill him. Tears streaming down the older woman's face as she watched Dumbledore actually get struck down.

Next, came the memories of her seventh year and the hunt she had been on with Harry and Ron. Minerva was in tears again at seeing Hermione suffer during their hunt, and then even more tears came as she witnessed Hermione's torture. Hearing her scream with the agony of the torturous curse being used over and over again, along with everything else from that awful night, made bile rise in the older woman's throat.

The last group of memories was of the final battle. Minerva felt a bit numb by now from all she had seen, but still cried as she saw so much death and destruction. She saw Severus die in the shrieking shack while right in front of Hermione. Saw Hermione tell Harry that she didn't think he was actually dead yet, crying out that they couldn't just leave him like that if he was still alive. Even if only barely.

But they had known Death Eaters were on their tail and couldn't stay. Hermione had been in tears as they left their potion's professor, Harry and Ron all but dragging her out of the place.

Showed the final show down between Harry and Voldemort. Showed Harry telling everyone that Severus had been Dumbledore's man the whole time. Showed them winning and how life was like after Hermione went back to school.

When the memories all finally faded, it was almost dawn. Both Hermione and Minerva were exhausted. Both of them mentally drained which made them physically drained as well.

Minerva flicked her wand and two glasses of fire whiskey appeared. When Hermione tried to say she didn't want it Minerva insisted, saying it would help. Minerva figured that even if the young woman hadn't been twenty-two like she had seen, she still would have made Hermione drink it. After all of that, they both needed it.

Hermione choked it down, the liquid burning her throat and stomach. The alcohol helping to dull the pain, leaving her only exhausted and a bit numb.

Minerva told her to go to bed, saying they'd talk about all she had seen later. Telling Hermione that she didn't want the girl going to class either the following day. Asking her to take the day and rest in her bed.

Hermione nodded slowly and made her way back to her dorms. She didn't even strip down, she only flopped into bed and let sleep take her away from the pain of having to leave.

1996- Beginning of Hermione's sixth year at Hogwarts.

Severus stared at Dumbledore in his office. "You want me to do what?" The dark man shouted while jumping out of the chair he had been sitting in.

Dumbledore was hurting. Both physically and mentally he was in deep pain. The curse he was suffering from was slowly killing him, but he knew this had to be done. "I need you to kill me, Severus. Draco has been ordered to do it and he can't have that tainting his soul."

Severus glared at the old wizard. "So you want it to taint mine?"

Dumbledore sighed. He didn't have the strength to fight Severus right now. He needed to rest. "Severus, you know I'm dying anyway. You would be doing the merciful thing anyway."

Severus shook his head. "No. We can find a way to fix it. Give me time to find a potion to cure you. I can't do this Albus."

Dumbledore sat wearily in his chair at his desk. "Severus there isn't any other way. Trust me, I've tried to find another way. But there isn't one. If Draco kills me like he has been ordered to he wont ever get past it. It'll haunt him until the day he dies. He's just a boy Severus. He's only sixteen. Could you have dealt with that at sixteen?"

Severus glared. "You know that isn't the same thing. I was much tougher at sixteen than Draco is. I wasn't pampered like he has been his whole life."

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "That is my point. You can live with this. You know that I'm dying and while I still live I'm suffering. Please, old friend. Do this for me. End my pain."

Severus started pacing around the room. When he had come here tonight, he never imagined this. "How can you ask this of me, Albus? Even if I could live with it, I wouldn't do it. I only have one more year to wait before Hermione is back. How can she forgive me if I do this? She'll never understand. Would you have me lose her now after coming so close?"

Dumbledore smiled again, a bit sadly. "Severus, she already knows."

Severus' head snapped up and he stopped pacing. "What?"

"She knows, Severus. She knew before she came back to us all those years ago. She knew and she understood why you did it and fell in love with you anyway. You wont lose her over this." Dumbledore said.

Severus frowned and narrowed his eyes. He couldn't see how Hermione could have forgiven him for killing the man she looked at as a surrogate father. Dumbledore has to be lying. Hermione will hate me.

Severus cocked his head. "So you're telling me that she doesn't hate me at all over this, if I do it?" That didn't sound right at all to him.

Dumbledore sighed again. "Severus, you will suffer greatly with what all is to come. I won't lie to you. This will be a tough burden for you to bear. You will face some of your most trying times. Many people will hate you if you do this. Even Hermione will hate you for a time. Even as she swears that there must be a reason, that there must be more than what they know, she will hate you for it. But when the truth comes out after the war, she forgives you. She'll understand what you did and all you have done over the years. She will learn it all and when she goes back in time after the war, she'll fall in love with you."

Severus felt his chest tighten. Hermione will hate me? While I love her, she will loathe me? How will I live with that? How long will she hate me for? How long will I have to see the hatred for me in her beautiful chocolate and caramel eyes? His dark gaze met Dumbledore's again. "How does the truth come out?"

Dumbledore looked down at his black hand. He had removed the glove he normally wore. "I can't tell you that, my boy. I...I don't know for sure. She only let me see so much from her memories." Dumbledore knew he couldn't tell him the truth. Severus would never go through with it if he knew.

Severus swallowed. "She let you see? What did you see?"

"I saw that I would destroy the ring holding a piece of Tom's soul and it would curse me. I saw that you would stop the curse from spreading and killing me quickly. I saw you promise me that you would kill me if Draco fails to do it. I saw myself die, so it will happen either way." Dumbledore said.

Severus growled. "You've known for years what would happen? Why did you destroy damn the ring then?"

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "I knew that if I didn't, it would change the outcome of all of this. I have to die Severus. If I didn't destroy the ring, then someone else would have had to do it. I couldn't let anyone else die in my stead. I've lived a long time and made my peace with it years ago."

Severus started pacing again. "Why did she let you see this if she was so worried about changing the past by staying?"

"She tried, at the very end of her time with us, to find a way to stop it all. She thought that by showing me, I might help her save everyone. She begged me to let her stay too. Severus, if I could have, I would have. I sat for days before she left, doing nothing but going over the memories she showed me and couldn't think of a single thing we could risk changing. I've gone over them again and again for years. But if I allow a single change it would mean the end of us."

His Hermione had risked everything to stay with him. To save her loved ones by stopping it. He still wasn't sure if Dumbledore was telling the truth though. She would not have gone back to keep the future from changing if she had truly shown the old wizard what happens. Her own letter explained why she couldn't have changed anything. Why show Dumbledore and risk him doing it?

Severus stopped pacing. "Albus, I have taken so much of what you have told me on faith alone. But I can't take this on faith alone. I can't kill you. Even if I could, I can't believe she would just forgive me for it. I can't risk losing her. I've done so much for you, Albus. Would you really ask for more than I can give? Would you really ask me to lose the one person I've done all of this for? She wont forgive me and I don't believe you this time when you say she will."

Albus took a deep breath and reached inside his desk. He pulled an envelope out the drawer. Without a word he held it out to Severus. This was why he had asked her to write this for him.

Severus hesitated, he didn't know if this was a trick. He didn't know if he wanted to know what was even inside it. But looking down at it, he saw her familiar script on the envelope that held his name.

Severus felt his chest clench again. She left me another letter? He reached out and took it, staring down at it before meeting Dumbledore's eyes. "She left this for me and you waited until now to give it to me?"

"Severus, I only did as she instructed. She told me that I was not to give this to you until now. I know you'd rather open it alone, but we just don't have the time." Dumbledore said warily. Knowing his explanation wasn't quite true, but not knowing any other way to explain it.

Severus turned from Dumbledore, giving the man his back so he had some semblance of privacy when he opened it. He felt the charm that had been placed on it and paused for a moment. Waving his hand over it, he realized she had made sure no one but him could open it. Making him feel better that this was truly from her and had not been tampered with.

The moment the seal broke and it opened, he caught a whiff of her scent. The other letter he had gotten had the same smell when he opened it but was now gone. Having faded with how many times he had opened and read it.

He took a moment to breathe in her scent. It smelled of her honeysuckle perfume, but it was also mixed with her body chemistry. Changing the scent just enough that it was slightly different from that of his bottle of her perfume. It was enough that it made him miss her even more. His eyes closed as he savored the sweet smell floating around him.

Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and pulled out the parchment. Again seeing the tear stains on it before he started to read her letter.

"My love,

If you are reading this than I am truly sorry. I ache knowing what you must do, Severus. I know this is going to be hard for you. I know that Dumbledore is a man you have known and respected for many years. I know you care about him very much, more than anyone else knows.

I know this because I've seen it. I've seen how you cared for him and what he stood for. I can't tell you how I know this exactly. It's not time for that knowledge yet though it kills me to hide it from you. You can't imagine how badly I want to tell you what is coming. How much I want to prepare you for it all. But I can't. It would just make it that much harder for you to bare if you knew.

What Dumbledore has told you is true, or at least I believe it is. You will be forced to take his life since Draco will fail in his task. I know you have already taken your vow with Narcissa at this point. I know you had no choice in it either. I know what Bellatrix would have done to you if you hadn't taken it. She would have killed you, but not before torturing you into insanity.

I swear to you though, she will pay dearly for all she has done, and for what she will do. By the time this war has ended, she will no longer be alive to inflict her cruelty and malicious derangement on anyone ever again.

It's inevitable that Dumbledore will die, either through the curse, or by your hand. It will be a merciful thing you do for him though in the end by taking his life. It will happen sometime close to the end of the school year.

The longer Dumbledore lives with the curse the more pain he will eventually be in, until he simply goes mad with it. I have done much research on that curse since the end of the war, so I know what the outcome will be in the end if you don't give him that relief.

I don't know what all of my coming back in time has changed. I know you did it before and I had to write to you now to insure it happened again.

Severus, I love you so much. I will always love you. I've told you before that no matter what, I'll always love you. I'm so sorry for what you now face. I wish I could have found a way to change it and save you that misery. I would never wish something this heartbreaking on anyone, least of all you. You don't deserve to have so much anguish in your life.

Next year, what would be Harry's and my seventh year here at Hogwarts will be very hard on you too. I know what all is said of you during that year. All that you are accused of. I know what I myself thought, and I'm sorry for not having more faith in you at the time, but I had seen so much that pointed to you being guilty of all the accusations.

I want you to know that no matter what, the truth will come out and you will be a hero, Severus. Everyone will know it. Everyone will forgive what had to be done. Everyone will be proud of what you have done and what you are.

Everyone will know what I already know. That you are a great man, inside and out. A man I was honored to love and call mine for a brief period of time. A time that was way too short for me.

But also with this next year, I will not be at Hogwarts. Instead of attending my seventh year, I will be hunting with Harry and Ron. We will do what we must to insure that Voldemort will die."

Severus inhaled sharply. She was going where he couldn't protect her. He had longer than a year to wait for her return. How long? How long will I truly be forced to wait for her? How can I insure that she stays safe while she's gone?

He went on reading, hoping for some answers.

"I need something very important from you. I need you to let me go do what I must next year. You can't come with me and you can't stop me. Which knowing how much you love me, I know you might try. It's what I would do in your shoes. I wanted to stop you from going to all your Death Eater meetings from the first time I saw you twitch with being summoned. But I knew you had to go, and now you know I have to go as well.

Without me there to help Harry, we probably will lose. What we are hunting for must be destroyed for us to succeed in completely ridding the world of the monster that wants to be Lord and Master of our world. Harry and Ron, they need me. They wont be able to figure it out alone. Harry won't survive it on his own.

No matter what happens. No matter what you hear about us while we are gone. No matter what you might have to witness. Do not help me. Do not interfere. Do not blow your cover as a spy. Do not stop what will happen. It must happen. I will be fine in the end. I promise. I know I had to lie to you many times before I left, but this is not a lie. I swear, I will survive all of this, including the battle itself.

Just remember that after this horrible war ends, after school starts again, I will come back to you in your seventh year.

If you remember me coming to you then all is okay with me.

I love you so very much. Never forget that, my love. I will be yours and only yours in heart, mind, body, and soul. Forever.

All my love,

Hermione J. Granger."

He felt tears stinging his eyes again. Felt one escape to slip down his cheek. She knows of the horrible deeds I will have to commit and loves me anyway. He didn't think he deserved that kind of love or loyalty. But she gave it to him anyway.

But what will she have to face that she knows I'll want to stop? He didn't know, but he feared what was coming. He didn't know that if it were truly that horrible, if he would be able to not interfere. He had been ready to do what he needed to protect her in the past. He had been before and was still willing to lay down his life if it meant she was safe and unharmed.

He took a moment to pull himself together as he wiped the lone tear away. He took a deep breath to steady himself for what he knew he had to do. I've already done it once in Hermione's time, so what was to stop me from doing it now?

He turned and faced the man he did care for and respect more than any other man he had ever known. He felt like the world was descending upon his shoulders worse than anything he had ever felt before. But he knew that with Hermione's love, he could bare it. He could bare anything.

"All right Albus. What exactly do you have planned? What do you need me to do?" Severus asked, silently praying that Hermione was being honest about loving him no matter what.

A/N: Okay, I was in tears writing that letter. I know its sad, but I warned you that there would be more angst. There is still more coming too. Just keep your box of tissue's handy. More is coming soon. Take care and please leave me your thoughts.