Chapter 25: Progress

Jazen's POV:

I woke up alone in my bunk. I didn't remember falling asleep, let alone actually going to bed. I sat up and stretched. Had to admit, sleeping on the bed instead of the couch definitely felt better. When I looked down, I noticed my Loth-cat in the bed with me, half underneath my blanket.

I shoved it back in my backpack with my holo-disks and Lynx's jacket. I stood up, sighing at the quiet thud my prosthetic made when it hit the ground. Even lighter than normal ones, it still made too much noise.

Darrick was in the common room, leaning over something on the table.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He didn't jump like he usually did; he'd heard me, probably. "You'll see. It's almost done."

"Yeah, but what i-" I tried to see it, but Darrick pushed me away gently. He still worried I would lose my balance too easily.

"Don't look, kid. Just give me another twenty minutes, okay?" He paused then looked back at me. "Go get something to eat. An actual meal, Jazen. Not just fruit. I'll be checking."

Well shit. "Okay. How's… how's your hand?"

Darrick stopped what he was doing to look at me again. "I'm fine. How are your arms?"

I glanced down at the bandages still wrapped around my arms. "Fine."

He smiled and turned back to the secret project. "That's good. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"I'm happy I'm feeling better, too." I was going to walk away, but I stopped. "When did I fall asleep?"

"I'm… not sure. I went back to sleep after telling you to stop drinking caf. I woke up at about eight, and you were in bed already."

"So you're not the one who carried me to my bed?" If anyone else touched me while I was asleep, I'd freak out or attack them. Except Darrick. (Well, I had attacked him before, but not in the past year, not in my sleep.) "Then who…?"

"Might've been Hera or something. She's in the cockpit with Kanan, Sabine, and the kid I don't really trust."

"Okay... I'll talk to them, then eat, if that's alright?"

"That's fine. And no caf."

My heart rate picked up when I got closer to the cockpit. I hadn't talked to the others much since my break down. What if they said something? The couple times I had spoken to them, Darrick had been there, too. He'd intervened if he thought they were going to say something he deemed the wrong thing to say.

This is really just pathetic. Why don't you just go hide behind Darrick?

"Shut up," I hissed.

Grow up.

"Stop telling me to grow up." Before that got out of hand, I walked inside the cockpit.

They heard my steps and looked at me as I sat down.

"You seem… better," Hera said slowly.

"I feel better. Um… when I fell asleep last night… Were you the person that put me in my bed? 'Cause Darrick didn't, and…"

"That was me, actually," Endorian answered.

I looked at him, frowning. "You did? And I didn't freak out?"

"Nope." Before I could ask why he did it, he continued, "I figured you probably shouldn't be sleeping on the floor like that. Not good for your back."

He had a point, but it was still weird. I was a light sleeper, barring being knocked out or drugged, and it was just… not like me. "Right… Sleeping on the floor does hurt my back."

"You've slept on the floor?" Hera asked.

I nodded. "I used to sleep on the floor all the time. Darrick got me to stop for awhile, but… I usually end up sleeping on the floor when I'm trying to avoid sleeping by exercising or some shit. You have no idea how many times Darrick woke me up and made get on the couch."

"Twenty-eight." Darrick walked in as he said that, continuing before I could ask, "Yes, I counted. You were actually working yourself to exhaustion, kid. You passed out more than you slept. It was kinda scary, you know."

"It's how I dealt with stress."

Darrick sighed. "At least you've made progress with that. I made you something to eat." He handed me a plate of food. It wasn't much, but still more than I normally ate.

"Thank you. I would've made my own food, though, Darrick."

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to make sure you ate something proper. Maybe not proper portions 'cause I don't want you getting sick from eating too much, but at least proper nutrition."

"Did you finish-"

Darrick shook his head. "I took a break to make the food. I'll be done with it after you eat. Just figured I'd check in on you. You good?"

"Great, actually."

He waited until I'd taken a couple bites of the food before he left. The food was really kriffing delicious. Better than just eating fruit.

I paused when I noticed everyone else staring at me. "What?"

"You were humming," Hera said.

"I was?"

Kanan nodded. "You didn't notice?"

"No. I guess I'm just… happy."

"I could tell," Endorian spoke up.

I glared at him, but I wasn't really mad. "Stop reading my emotions. It's weird." I carried the plate back to Darrick, and he smiled at me when I walked in.

"Good timing."

"So I get to see the secret project now?"

Darrick grinned and held up a rifle. It wasn't very much like my old one, but it still looked wicked cool. The barrel was longer than the one on my old rifle, and the scope was even higher-quality than my old one.

"How the hell did you… How did you afford that scope? How'd you afford any of this?"

"I had them stored at one of my friend's houses. I don't know when I bought them, but I went and picked 'em up a few days ago. Here." Darrick handed me the rifle and stepped back a little, waiting.

It was heavier than my old rifle, but not by that much. Just enough weight that I could hold it for a long time without getting too tired and without it being too light to aim properly. Well, it would be, when I was back at full strength. Unlike my old one, it wasn't dirty and scratched up. I lifted it and looked through the scope. It had more detailed crosshairs, and what seemed like an even longer range than the last rifle.

"Is this a sniper rifle?"

"Mainly, yeah. But you can mod it a little so it's just a regular rifle, too. You like it?"

"Of course I do. But… are you sure you're giving it to me? You could sell it for a lot of creds. That would really help you."

Darrick nodded. "Positive. I made it for you. And… I found Daniel's notebook in your bag. It's got elements of his design in it." When I didn't say anything, Darrick sighed. "I'm sorry for going through your stuff, but I thought… I thought you'd like it better if it meant more to you than just a weapon."

"I don't mind that you went through my things because you're you. What part of this was his design?"

"The stock. It's usually not used on this kind of rifle, but, in his notes, he said it was a better fit. And it's got your initials on the barrel. The design in the notebook was his initials, I just swapped it out."

I turned it over, keeping it pointed safely away from me and Darrick. I'd thought there was a lot of effort put into the last rifle. But that was nothing compared to this.

"Darrick, why? I've only caused you trouble. Why would you keep doing all these things for me?"

I tried to hand the rifle back, but he just pushed it back towards me. "You haven't 'only cause me trouble.' Yeah, you're stubborn. And yeah, you scare me sometimes. I keep doing these things because you need it, Jazen. Even if you like pretending you don't. You need someone that makes you feel safe and somewhere you're not constantly in fight or flight mode. You need someone in your corner."

I set the rifle down on the table carefully and hugged him. It took a minute for Darrick to hug me back. He wasn't used to me hugging him.

"Thank you for putting up with me and all the shit that comes with it." I hesitated. "Now I feel kinda guilty…"

"Guilty for what?"

"For what I've decided to do. I really do want to stay with you and be normal and maybe progress towards getting to a better state mentally, but… I'd rather have better control of my ability before that. I don't want what happened with those Stormtroopers to happen again."

I stepped back when he didn't answer. "Darrick?"

"I understand, kid. If you need to, you can always stay with me whenever I get a new place. And you better treat your injuries properly or I will find you."

I smiled at him. "Riiiiight. I'm great at disappearing, remember?"

"Don't go dark on me without letting me know first, either."

"I won't."

"Promise me," Darrick pressed.

"I promise," I replied. "Also… could you cut my hair? I hate cutting it myself, and it's bothering me now."

"Sure. Same as last time?"

I nodded, and he walked away to find some scissors. Still have to tell everyone else. But that can wait.

A/N: I was originally going to make the final chapter one big, 3,000 word chapter, buuuut, between going to a dance with my boyfriend, telling my closest friends I'm genderfluid, clubs, literary rally, and school itself, I figured I'd post the first half so that y'all aren't left waiting for a month or so for the chapter.