Wanda can't be certain how long it's been since the boys left the apartment. She's been dozing in the tub for what feels like hours, slipping in and out of daydreams—of last night, and Bucky, and that beautiful smile of his. Teach me something? she hears him whisper, his voice so real, before it fades.
She blinks herself awake slowly, distantly aware that this isn't the first time she's drifted off today. Wanda counts this as her third nap in the tub, though she lost count a long time ago. The water is cold now, so it must have been a while. She sits upright in the tub with a yawn, fills the tub with enough warm water that it's nice to sit in again, and then she reaches around blindly on the tiled floor for her phone.
5:06 PM, the screen tells her. There are new messages to read too, some from work, most from Pietro. She reads them quickly then finds her conversation with Bucky, still curious about what has kept him so busy today. She hasn't heard from him today, no texts, no calls, nothing since last night, though she's also been too busy today to call him. It took hours to clean up the apartment, they were so hungover and so tired, and there was just so much to do, but somehow they did it.
Together, she reminds herself, then smiles at the thoughts of Pietro and his help. He was so positive, so quick at getting things done, and she couldn't have done it without him. She isn't sure how long he's been gone now, off to help Clint run errands in the city for dinner tonight. Wanda exhales a breath and sinks deeper into the tub, suddenly feeling nervous about tonight again. She can't pretend that she isn't nervous, or that she hasn't felt the nerves ebbing and flowing all day.
Wanda wants to go and see Clint's apartment, to spend the night with her brother and his friends. It's just hard sometimes because she gets nervous, and it's been so long, and there's a pressure on her to go tonight because they've both wanted her there for so long. But still there's a part of her that does want to go, despite her nerves and the pressure she feels on her shoulders. She wants to enjoy it and try something new, but at the moment she is a little too focused on her nerves and her thoughts of Bucky to feel good about tonight.
She wants to call Bucky, hear about his day, tell him about hers, but it's been hours since they last spoke and she's convinced herself that he must be too busy to talk or he would have called by now. Wanda goes back and forth on it, almost calling and then changing her mind again, until finally she makes a decision. She sends him a text, followed quickly by another before she can change her mind.
[5:09 PM]:
Never have I ever...made such a mess in my apartment.
[5:09 PM]:
Also, hi. x
Once the texts are sent to Bucky, she places the phone back on the tiled floor, sinks down into the water, and lets the thoughts of him roll in again. Never have I ever...Never have I ever..Wanda lets out a breath, forces away the memories of Stark's party, and finds something else to focus on. She moves a hand gently through the water, watching the surface ripple, the bubbles parting around her fingertips as the memory of that night sticks to her.
Two minutes later her phone lights up with Bucky's reply. She reaches eagerly over the tub to get a look at the message, her slightly damp hair pulled up on her head, cold water running down her arms as she turns the phone over. Three texts roll in, one after the other.
[5:11 PM]:
evening, sleeping beauty.
[5:11 PM]:
*red.
[5:12 PM]:
how are you feeling?
Wanda smiles to herself, scoops up her phone again, and starts to type back her reply. Better, she thinks to herself, and writes to him. She feels much better now that he's here talking to her, though she isn't quite sure why that is, or how he makes her feel so much better with just a few words. She doesn't dwell on it for long, sends back a reply, and then waits a little impatiently for his answer.
[5:12 PM]:
Much better now. How are you?
Bucky's reply comes back almost instantly. He sends three texts within a minute, stops for a moment, starts to type up another message, then stops again. She smiles at how sweet it is, how eager he is to talk to her. She feels the same way and the thought makes her smile as she begins to wonder where Bucky is texting her from right now.
She imagines that he is out there somewhere in the city, taking a walk through the park, sitting by a pond, or enjoying a drink at a bar. Maybe he is sitting by a window in his apartment and looking out at the city like she often does, or maybe he's in the tub like she is and he's waking up from an afternoon nap. She smiles at the thought and hopes that wherever he is that he might be smiling with her.
[5:13 PM]:
yea I'm good. was wondering when I was gonna hear from you
[5:14 PM]:
hope you're not feeling too crappy... :)
[5:15 PM]:
also I'm sorry I couldn't hang around in the morning. wasn't sure when you'd get up and I had to go. x
For a moment after, a very long and unclear moment, she can't quite work out what to say. Wanda writes and deletes her first reply, then three more after that, because she can't seem to fit everything that she wants to say to him in a few messages. She soon decides that what she wants to do is call Bucky and hear his voice, listen to him for a little while, if he isn't too busy. But first she decides to get out of the tub and get warm.
The water is cold again, her fingers are starting to shrivel, so she quickly climbs out, wraps a fluffy towel around herself, and returns to her bedroom. It's quiet now and so clean, no signs of last night's party left behind, though it hangs around in her memory anyway and makes her smile. She is still smiling minutes later when she is dressed and sitting on the edge of her bed, phone against her ear as she calls Bucky. It rings twice before he picks up.
"Hey there, sleeping beauty."
Wanda smiles at the nickname and wiggles back on her bed, hoping that Bucky might be able to stick around and talk for a while, even though she knows that she can't really stay for too long tonight. She has to get ready for dinner, call a cab, and get to Clint's apartment early to help out and spend time with them before everyone else arrives. There are a lot of things she should be doing but that is all forgotten now, replaced by thoughts of Bucky.
"Hi there." she says and smiles more. "It's nice to hear your voice."
"Aww. That's sweet, red. The feeling's mutual." he says, playful before his words grow softer. "How are you feeling today, doll?"
"Much better now. How was your day?"
"Good. It was good, yeah. Better now." he says, and it sounds like he's smiling. "I'm guessing your day didn't start too well though?"
She smiles thinking of Bucky's sweet notes and glances over at where she left them, tucked away safely in the notebook by her bed. Her gaze soon wanders lazily over to the packet of cigarettes on the nightstand, tempted to convince herself to light one and just have half to calm her nerves, but she's trying to quit.
So Wanda leaves the packet untouched, rolls over on her side, and begins to think of last night again. She thinks of Bucky in her bedroom, sitting on the floor with her, both of them laughing at one of his really bad, dumb jokes. Bucky in her bed, his fingers in her hair, his arms around her as she fell asleep. Bucky and the notes he left her, the smile he gave her in the dark.
Bucky and his goodnight kisses.
Her chest tightens, fills with warmth, and she quickly becomes aware of a fluttering against her stomach that she immediately recognizes as butterflies. Wanda lets out a breath and smiles to herself, curious about how it's possible that she feels this happy after the longest day and the worst hangover she's ever had. She already knows that it's because of him.
"I woke up to something nice, so that helped." she admits then pauses. "The aspirin and coffee also helped."
"The miracle of coffee, right? I swear, it can fix almost anything." he laughs, then goes on. "I heard Barton had a pretty late night. He ran into Nat and Steve at the club that you ran into me at. They got wasted. Not like we did, but still. I heard they went pretty hard."
"Mmm." Wanda hums, distracted again.
It comes back to her in flashes, quick and bright. Memories of last night; drinks, and dancing, and Bucky's hand in hers as they sat out on the fire-escape together, smiling and telling jokes. Wanda closes her eyes at the memory and she feels a sudden pang of longing to go back to last night, to do it over, maybe do it all a little differently.
Maybe she'd drink less, just so she could remember more of it. Still, she doesn't regret a moment of it. How could she? It was a wild and wonderful night and she's not sure she's ever had a night quite like it, not for a long time. She can't remember the last time she enjoyed herself that much with a friend.
She soon gets stuck on that thought, that word, and tries to move past it. Because she can't quite work out what Bucky is, or what he might be, but she knows that he is more than just a friend. She spends a little too long thinking about this, distracted by her search for a word that she never finds. It's only when she hears Bucky clear his throat that she remembers he's still here with her, waiting on the other end of the line for her answer.
"I guess you could say we had some fun." she says.
And when he laughs, Wanda laughs with him.
"Yeah, you could call it that. But we made a bit of a mess, didn't we?" he says and then sighs. "I tried cleaning up some of it up before I left. Moved plates and bottles over to the kitchen. But then your brother and Clint came home and there wasn't much else I could do."
There's a pause again, this time from Bucky, and then slowly he goes on. His voice becomes softer and a little more sincere, as if he needs her to know that he means this, is quite serious about it.
"You sound good, by the way. Chirpy, I mean." he adds, somewhat awkwardly. "You sound chirpy, like you're in good spirits. I'm glad. That's what I mean. I'm glad you're doing okay. That you're happy. I mean. That's what I mean."
"You sound happy too." Wanda says and slowly smiles. "I've been thinking about you today. Every now and then.."
Bucky laughs again, louder this time, and she wonders if it's because he's alone and more relaxed now, or if it's because he's letting himself enjoy their conversation. Whatever the reason is, she doesn't mind. She just feels glad to hear him laugh and to know (or, at the very least, to hope) that she is the reason he is laughing, that she might even be one of the reasons that he is happy today.
"Really? Was it my good looks?" Bucky laughs. "My charm? Or were you thinking about how...good, and kind, and pretty I am?"
Oh, she realizes.
He remembers more than she thought. Much more. She smiles at the thought and forces herself not to feel too embarrassed by her drunken confessions to Bucky, because she doesn't really care what she said or admitted to him last night. Wanda trusts him more than he knows and she almost feels relieved to know that she told him things she might not, things that she usually keeps to herself. She wants Bucky to know how she feels, what she feels, for him. He was honest with her, too.
That part she remembers.
Bucky standing at her apartment door, his t-shirt dripping wet, a peach stuck in his hair. She smiles at the memory, then feels herself soften as she thinks about gently picking the small piece of fruit out of his hair. How close they got, how soft she let herself be with him. She doesn't know why she is this way around him, or how he brings out a side of her that has been buried for so long, but he does.
"So," she sighs. "You remember?"
"Probably more than you do."
Bucky's answer is vague, probably intentionally so. It sounds like he might even try to stop himself from laughing. She imagines that he is still smiling though, and she soon realizes that she wants to laugh with him. But for the moment she holds it in, suddenly curious about the parts of last night that she forgets and the things that he might remember.
"Did I say anything..."
"Embarrassing? Oh, no. Not at all. Never. It's you, Wanda." he's quick to assure her. "You're always adorable. So don't worry, it wasn't embarrassing. It was very, very cute."
She laughs. "So it was embarrassing then."
"Don't worry, red. It'll be our little secret."
Wanda smiles again, almost certain that Bucky is smiling with her now. She feels nervous again, though she convinces herself that it's because of tonight's dinner but Wanda knows that it's more than that. She knows that it is Bucky doing this to her and despite what they've shared, how close they've grown to each other, he still makes her nervous. He still makes her feel like this.
She wonders if he always will.
"Can I see you tonight?"
"I'd love to, doll. I really would..but I've got a thing." he says and sighs, disappointed. "I can call you if it finishes early? That is, if you're not in bed and fast asleep by 6 o'clock."
"Ha. Very funny." Wanda smiles, then softens. "I'd like that though, if you called."
There is more that she wants to say after this, more that she almost tells him. Come over, she wants to say, though she quickly decides against it because she knows that he is busy tonight and it's different this time. Wanda knows it is different to the last time he said he was busy, and had a thing, and he ran from her, because this time he means it. She can tell that things have changed between them, in what she believes is a good way, so she decides not to ask him over because she trusts him and wants him to know that.
She also knows that she will be seeing him soon anyway and that will be enough, it always is.
"Great. I can't wait. But hey, I gotta go now. I gotta take Stevie Junior for a walk." he says, and laughs a little. "By Stevie Junior, I mean Bruno. He's Nat's dog. Steve's now, too. I guess. He's been waiting me out all afternoon for a walk, just staring at me, waiting for me to crack. So I did and now we're going to the park. It'll be nice. Maybe you'll run into me there?"
There's a pause, intentional this time, and Wanda smiles, ready to answer when Bucky cuts in with a joke that she can tell he believes is quite funny.
"Get it? Because the last time we were at the park, you ran into my bike?"
Wanda grins, squeezes her eyes shut, and tries not to feel too embarrassed by his joke and the memory of all the times she's run into him. She's not sure why it happens, how she always seems to be the one running, tripping, or falling into him. It's not that she wants Bucky to be the one who trips or fall overs, she just thinks that she might like it if just once she weren't the one falling.
"I get it. I do, it's cute." she hums, smiling. "It is cute that you are trying to be funny. It is awkward too, because it isn't really funny. But still, cute."
He laughs and disappears again, only for a few seconds this time. She imagines it's because he's ready to go out for his walk with Bruno and she doesn't mind that he's busy because she can't stay for much longer anyway. She needs to go, has to get ready for dinner at Clint's, so she can be there early before everyone else arrives. But for just another minute she wants to stay here and enjoy the sound of Bucky's voice.
So warm, so sweet.
"Well, what can I say? I'm cute. Anyway..How 'bout I send you a pic of us at the park?" he says, laughing again. "I feel like Bruno would really like you. He doesn't like me. Yet. But I'm growing on him. I get the feeling he'd like you though."
"He will come around. It takes time. Trust me, I would know." she insists, and smiles when he laughs. "Have a nice time tonight. Maybe I will call you later?"
"Yeah, sure. I'd like that, red. It was nice to hear from you again." Bucky admits. "Wish I could stay and chat. But Bruno is like one minute away from peeing on this rug if I don't take him on this walk and Nat will kill me if that happens."
"Oh. Well, go then. Quickly, go. We'll talk later?"
"Sure thing, doll. Have a good night. Get some rest if you need it. Alright?" he says, and she is certain that he is smiling now. "And I know it gets hard sometimes for you. Because I'm just so charming. But try not to miss me too much. I'm just a phone-call away if you need me."
Wanda laughs and says goodbye to Bucky, the call ending seconds later. She sits there for a minute after, lets her eyes fall shut, and slowly she begins to imagine where Bucky is in the city right now. She imagines that he is smiling with her, maybe even because of her, and just thinking about it makes her smile more. It keeps the smile on her lips, so big and real, long after their call is over and Bucky is off on his walk with Bruno.
Minutes skip by and she is still thinking about him. Wanda knows that she should be focused on tonight, knows that she should be doing something instead of just sitting here and thinking about Bucky, but she just finds it so hard to focus when he makes her feel this good. It distracts her, what he makes her feel, and it's been so long since she felt anything like it that it's almost dizzying.
For the next hour, he's all that she can think about. Bucky and his pretty blue-eyes, that sweet smile, his playful laugh. Bucky and the way he looks at her, how he teases her, makes her smile like she hasn't in months. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. She's been here before, been swept up in thoughts of him, but this feels different, isn't something she recognizes at first, until slowly she does.
Wanda recognizes it as a spark, a small flicker of hope for something else, something more. With him. She soon forces it away, convinces herself that she didn't feel it at all, because it is dangerous to think of such things. It feels even more dangerous to have hope, to long for something more, because she has already lost so much and she is afraid of losing this before it has even really begun.
Still, the spark remains.
Hours later she ends up at Clint's apartment in Tribeca, late and only a little nervous when she knocks on the front door. Her brother greets her with a smile, takes the flowers and wine she offers as her apology for being late, and he quickly welcomes her inside with open arms. Wanda lets him lead the way down the decorated hallway and seconds later she is distracted by the loft that she finds herself standing in.
It's big, so big, and very different to what she imagined it would be. She's not really sure what she expected but it was never this. In all the months that she's known Clint she's never been to his place in the city, never been all that interested in coming over, despite their many invitations to come by for dinners, and parties, and game nights.
Wanda always assumed that Clint's place would be just like any other apartment in the city, that it would be just like theirs; small and homey, always cluttered, always loud, with barely enough space for three people to live. She didn't realize just how wrong she was until now, as her gaze skims over the apartment that is very different to what she imagined in her head.
The loft is wide and spacious, with big open windows, dark hardwood floors, and lots of natural light for an apartment in the city. It's all so bright and lovely, so nicely decorated, and she is almost overwhelmed by it all. Wanda's eyes dart around the space quickly, soon focusing on Clint's kitchen over on the left side of the loft.
It's open space andmodern, with sleek black countertops and cute little plants hanging from the ceiling. For someone who rarely cooks at their place, Clint's kitchen is fairly well-equipped. Wanda thinks that she might be just a little jealous of his stainless steel fridge and oven, the separate island bench with sleek black stools around it, and the large wooden shelves that look like they're filled with all of the kitchen utensils and supplies that could ever be needed.
Wanda hovers by the island counter for half a minute, running her fingers across the cool marble bench, before she turns to find her brother. He's over by the sink, putting her flowers in a vase with water, and he's completely unaware of how wide-eyed and overwhelmed she is by just a kitchen and a few plants. A big, beautiful kitchen, filled with all of the pots, pans, and spices she could ever want.
She glances the kitchen over one more time before she decides to take a closer look at the rest of the apartment. There's a dining table on the far side of the loft, over on the right side of the room, that is possibly the biggest table she's ever seen in her life. Wanda counts at least twelve chairs around the long wooden table, with plenty of room for more, and in the middle of the table there's a big bunch of beautiful flowers that look like they've been put together for a wedding or a very elegant party.
It's all very beautiful and modern, not quite how she imagined Clint living before he came into their lives. Wanda soon decides that maybe she doesn't know him as well as she once thought she did and maybe this is who he's always been. A man interested in art, and cooking, and pretty flowers. Maybe she spent so much time trying to keep some space between them, trying to keep herself closed off, that she didn't see this side of him until now, though she doesn't get too deep into that thought tonight.
She forces it away and walks over to the dining table, where quietly she begins to wonder how many nights she missed out on here. Dinners, and parties, and all of the game nights that she said no to or lied her way out of, because she always convinced herself it would be better that way. Wanda doesn't dwell on it for long and lazily walks around to the other side of the table, over to where a pretty painting of an ocean hangs on the wall.
She lifts a hand to touch it, curious, when she hears her brother call out from the kitchen and her hand falls away.
"Sestra, where should I put the flowers?"
Wanda glances back over her shoulder, only now noticing how similar every corner of the loft is. It is all wide, and bright, and nicely decorated. She spots a painting on the wall by the kitchen, decides to look at it later, and turns to her brother, offering him a shrug as her answer. He will make his own decision anyway, she thinks, and soon learns that she is right when Pietro barely spares her a look and finds the perfect spot to place the flowers by a window. He steps back when he's done, takes a long look at the flowers, and then smiles, pleased with his decision.
For a moment she smiles with him, then she continues to wander through the loft. Wanda finds her way over to the living area, that she is certain must be the biggest and warmest part of the loft so far. There are plants everywhere here, in pots by couches and windows, on coffee tables and bookshelves, dangling from the ceiling with the lights. She spends a long time admiring the pretty plants and flowers before she glances over the living area again, deciding that is already her favorite part of the apartment.
Everything here is neat, and warm, and works so nicely together. There's a big rug on the floor, dark red and covered in pretty patterns, that's as lovely as the one out she noticed out in the hallway. She smiles to herself and looks up at the couches nearby, both big and winding, placed on either side of the rug. There's a long glass table placed in the middle of the couches, with a small stack of magazines and a candle placed on one end. The TV is close, a few steps away from the table, and it rests on a pretty black stand that is covered in plants, photographs, and cute little decorations.
The tiny ornaments intrigue her, though she doesn't get much of a chance to look before she is distracted again. By Clint's couches, again. The one on the left is the smaller of the two, made of grey fabric and so soft that she imagines falling asleep on it would be the easiest thing to do. The other is L shaped and quite big, made of a soft brown material, and it looks so inviting that she decides to try it out before anyone can interrupt her.
Wanda bounces gently on the edge of the couch, once then twice, before she settles in and smiles to herself. It feels nice here, nicer than any other couch she's ever sat on, maybe even nicer than her bed. She soon decides that it might even be as long as her bed, maybe even longer. Before she can start to measure out just how long the couch is, she's distracted again. It happens easily in here, with so much to take in, and this time it's a pair of doors over in the kitchen that catch her attention.
The doors are sleek and black, tucked away near the fridge, and they are so subtle that she didn't notice them until now. She suddenly feels curious about where they lead and she's just about to ask her brother when, as if reading her mind, he speaks up from where he's standing by the sink.
"That is Clint's bedroom," he explains, barely looking up. "I can show you around the loft later if you like."
"There is more?"
Pietro throws his head back and laughs, apparently very amused by her reaction. She joins him soon, watching as he tidies up the mess from the cooking he'd been doing before she arrived. Still feeling curious, and very much in awe, Wanda climbs up onto one of the stools in the kitchen and takes a long look out at the big open space again. She's never been inside an apartment like this before, not really, and this place just feels so different from everywhere else.
Feels special, somehow.
"Yes, Clint's room is through those doors." Pietro answers, voice gentle, as if he understands. "Then back down the hall there are the other bedrooms."
Other bedrooms, she repeats in her mind, feeling overwhelmed again. There are more? she wants to ask Pietro but she doesn't. Wanda really just wants to know how her brother seems so okay with this, so at home here, when they have never lived like this before. Their apartment back in the West Village is the size of Clint's living room and kitchen, and their home in Sokovia was half that size, and yet Pietro is so at ease here in this beautiful and big space.
It makes sense though, she decides soon. He has become familiar with it, has spent so much time here that he knows it well, but still Wanda isn't sure that she could ever be used to something like this place, not that she thinks it would be hard to get used to living in a home as lovely and big as this. She is just used to their apartment, so crammed and cluttered, that suddenly feels like it might be just a little too small for Pietro and this big and wonderful life that he is making with Clint.
A life she can't quite seem to find her place in yet.
"Hm. So. Do you like it?" Pietro asks and lifts an eyebrow, curious. "It is nice. Isn't it?"
She nods and glances out at the loft, noticing more things that she somehow missed before. Things like a small bookshelf against a wall in the living room, photographs of Clint's life scattered through the room, and a sleek stereo by the wall next to a stack of CD's. She reminds herself to look through them later and glances back at her brother, curious if she will keep discovering more new things about the apartment through the night.
"It is big." she says eventually. "Very big. Isn't it?"
Pietro seems mostly intrigued, but if he picks up on how overwhelmed she's feeling then he says nothing. He just spares her a look, pours them both a glass of wine, and joins her side, coming to stand next to her as his eyes flicker out across the loft in a way that is familiar, fond even. For the moment Wanda says nothing, still trying to work out why exactly no one mentioned to her that Clint's apartment looked like this.
"It is. But after a while it becomes familiar."
She smiles, not convinced. "Does it? I don't know how it ever could. His kitchen is bigger than my bedroom."
Pietro's smiling now, playful and soft, like this amuses him just a little. At the same time there's a look in her brother's eyes that lets Wanda know he felt this same way once, that he stood there and saw it from her eyes, though she decides that was probably a long time ago because he is so familiar and comfortable here now. Clint's apartment is so big and lovely, but it is also overwhelming when compared to the other, smaller places that they have lived their lives in before now, that were always so crammed and tiny but they never cared.
It never mattered how big their apartment was, or the years before Manhattan when the apartment they lived in was probably the size of Clint's kitchen, maybe even smaller. It only ever mattered that they had each other.
"Why do you think I like coming here so much, hm?" Pietro asks and shrugs, half-smiling. "You would know if you came over, but you were always so busy. With work, and things, and we could never get you to come over here until tonight."
Wanda opens her mouth, ready to answer, to find the words to explain it, but she quickly realizes that she can't. She was busy every now and then, but most of the time she told lies because she didn't want to come over here. She wasn't ready to put herself out there again, couldn't find a way to tell Pietro then and she still can't. So she says nothing, swallows a sip of wine, and pretends that she has nothing to say, even though she is very much aware of her regrets, and past mistakes, and all of the lies she told.
Over and over again.
"I am curious," Pietro says, turns to her. "Would you have come if you'd known it looked like this?"
"No. I mean.." she stops, considers it. "I did not know, that Clint was.."
"Rich? Mm. Yes, he is. Very rich. He has a lot of money. Some he inherited, most he worked for." he explains, serious until a smile slips through. "Why do you think I am with him, sister? For his jokes?"
Wanda is grinning, ready to answer and tease Clint, when she hears a voice come from behind them. They spin around in perfect synchronization, looking like they've been caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing, but at first Clint isn't all that concerned. He looks better now, much better than he did a few hours ago, and she knows that he must think the same thing when he looks at her.
Clint's smile is big and warm when he first meets her gaze, then it sinks in. He notices the way the two of them are standing together, so obviously talking about something, about him. He glances them over suspiciously, grabs himself a cold bottle of beer from the fridge, and then joins them, relaxed now but still faintly curious about what they were up to before he arrived.
"So. What are we scheming about?"
Pietro shrugs, slips an arm around Clint's waist, and nuzzles in. Wanda averts her gaze, giving the two of them a private moment, until Pietro leaves again. He presses a quick kiss to the side of Clint's cheek, then steps away to check on something cooking in the kitchen. Whatever it is, it smells lovely.
"Oh, nothing much." Pietro calls back. "Wanda was just taking it in."
Clint turns to her and smiles as if he understands, though she's not sure that he ever really could.
"You want a tour, kid?"
Wanda nods. "Yes, or I think I might get lost."
By the way that Clint laughs at her, she can't tell if it's because he finds her funny or if it's because her brother said the same thing to him once. Wanda doesn't really mind either way, she's just glad to be here and to see them both so happy tonight. It feels good being around them and seeing them like this. Feels so much better than making up more excuses and lies. She feels excited to be here and for whatever else the night will bring.
"Don't worry, it's not that much of a maze." he smiles and assures her. "I'll always be around, or someone else will."
Then he must read something on her face, or he must imagine that he does. Wanda's not actually sure that there's anything there, but Clint seems to think that there is and he quickly shares a look with Pietro over in the kitchen. She's still trying to work out whatever it was that Clint imagined seeing when he turns back to her, smiles, and reaches out to give her shoulder a squeeze.
"It's just gonna be a few of the regulars tonight. You already know Nat and Steve, they're great." Clint says and squeezes her shoulder again. "It's gonna be fun. Don't worry about it. It's not like we invited anyone to set you up with, that's next week."
Her expression falls. "That isn't funny."
"Oh, that's cute. You think I'm joking." Clint smiles then turns to Pietro. "Isn't it cute? She thinks we're joking."
"So cute." Pietro teases, grin wide.
It takes almost all of Wanda's self-control to not roll her eyes, or reach out and poke Clint in the side. She just gives him that same flat look that he eventually understands and soon he stops trying to be funny and tease her about this. He quickly joins Wanda's side, links his arm through hers, and slowly begins to guide her back down the entry hall to start their tour. She feels glad for this, not just the chance to explore the apartment but also the chance to spend time with them before everyone else shows up.
Wanda misses them when they're gone, off on their little adventures in the city, so it feels nice to have this time with them.
"Okay, so, the tour. Let's do this, yeah?" Clint says and grins. "You like this place? You were probably expecting something different, huh? You can tell me if you were. You brother was surprised first, too."
"Surprised doesn't exactly cover it." she admits and smiles. "Can you blame me? With the mess you are always making back at home—"
"You should have seen this place five minutes ago, kid." he insists, gives her arm a squeeze, then laughs. "Looked almost as bad as your place did this morning. We put in a lot of hard work to get it all nice and shiny for you."
It is so much more than that, she thinks and wants to tell him. It is more than nice and shiny; it is bright, and airy, and filled with so much warmth and love. It is a home filled with memories, there is so much love here, and she is certain this is why she likes it so much already. The loft overwhelms her, makes her feel out of her depth, but she doesn't mind all that much because she finds a comfort in its warmth.
Wanda knows it isn't the art, or the flowers and decorations, that make her feel so comfortable here. It's the two of them and their love for each other, their love for her.
She suddenly wishes she could thank them for being there, always asking her to come, never pushing her or making her feel bad when she couldn't accept their invitations. They've always been there for her, she thinks, and then she looks up at Clint to find him smiling down at her. He's always been there for both of them and she's not sure there are any words to thank him, so she doesn't try today but maybe another time she will.
"Really? Mm, no. Something tells me that isn't true." she smiles and pokes at Clint's side. "I think this place is always pretty and shiny."
Ticklish in that spot, Clint jolts away.
"Hey. So I guess you might just have to come over more, see for yourself." he suggests, then smiles again. "You ready to start the tour? I'll show you around just so you know where everything is and you don't get lost. Then when we're all done, you can meet Lucky."
It takes just one second for Wanda to fall in love with Lucky Barton.
The fluffy Labrador greets her with a big sloppy lick across her face and from that moment she is in love. Deeply and completely smitten with this beautiful one-eyed dog. She forgets all about tonight's dinner, doesn't even remember that Pietro and Clint are here with her, and she spends the next thirty minutes playing with Lucky.
He's so sweet and fluffy, a big golden ball of energy, and he really loves chasing the ball around the loft. Wanda must throw the red ball around for at least fifteen minutes and Lucky never gets bored, not for a second. She doesn't either, she only stops playing ball with Lucky after she throws the small ball (not directly, though Clint argues that she does) at a pretty ceramic pot she expressed interest in earlier, over by the window.
It barely wobbles, doesn't come at all close to tipping over, but Clint insists that it does. That it was inches from falling over. She insists that it wasn't, he insists that it was, and this goes on for a while, until Wanda agrees to stop throwing the ball around before dinner and instead she ends up showering Lucky with love, cuddles, and endless belly scratches. This goes on until Clint lets her know that the guests will be here soon and she's covered in Lucky's dog hair.
Wanda smiles, not too concerned about the mess. She decides to leave anyway, just so she looks nice tonight, and she leaves to clean up in the room that's hers when she's here, because apparently Clint's got enough rooms that he's given her one to stay in whenever she comes over. There are four bedrooms here in Clint's loft including his own, that is by far the biggest and nicest, to be expected. His room is separate from the others, through the black doors in the kitchen, while the guest rooms can be found in doors off the hallway.
The rooms are all mostly the same, bright and wide, pretty decorations, very little in them. Clint let her pick the room she wanted, if she wants to stay here tonight or any other night, and he even let her pick the only guest room with an en-suite. It's hers whenever she needs it, he told her, and she knows that she will take him up on that offer soon because she already wants to come back to the loft again.
Not just to see Lucky, to play with him, give him treats, and cuddles, and love. She wants to come back to see the two of them, of course, but she is also very much looking forward to coming back to see Lucky again. For the moment she leaves the golden dog behind and makes her way down the hallway to her room. It's the first door on the left, pretty and simple, with grey walls, hardwood floors, and a few splashes of color to lighten up the space.
It's a nice room, her favorite so far, and one of the things she loves most about it is the king-sized bed that she's very excited to sleep in later tonight. There are also pretty paintings on the walls, thin black curtains to block out the light, and cute plants and decorations placed through the room. Wanda smiles when she returns inside and walks past the soft armchair and wooden dresser, over to the bathroom door just up ahead.
The en-suite is big, not that she expected anything else. The floor is the same dark wood as the rest of the loft but the walls are lighter, making the space feel just a little softer than the rest of the apartment. There's a shower in the corner of the room, a sleek glass cube with pretty green tiles on the walls, and it looks so much nicer than her shower that she feels excited to use it. There's also a tub next to the shower, ceramic white and so big, that she can't wait to fill with bubbles and float in.
Maybe another time, she thinks, because she needs to get ready for dinner now. Wanda turns to the sink slowly, spends a minute looking at her reflection and fixing her hair in a few places, before she starts to clean away Lucky's fur from her clothes. When she's done and most of the dog hair is gone, she takes a step back and stares at her reflection in the round mirror, suddenly nervous again.
She lies, tells herself she doesn't know why, but she does. Wanda thinks it might have something to do with her outfit. Her dress is simple, a pretty floral pattern, dark red and black with short sleeves, and she's worn it so many times before that she's familiar with it by now. But she thinks that she might still be trying to get used to wearing clothes like this, clothes with short sleeves that don't hide the little marks that she's still got from that night.
It makes her feel nervous again, makes her want to put her jacket back on and cover up, or find a way to get out of this. Wanda quickly realizes that she doesn't want to do that. She doesn't want to rely on it, to feel like she needs to cover it up to feel good about herself. So after staring at herself in the mirror for a long time, she decides not to put the jacket back on and she leaves the room, forcing herself to ignore the nerves that she feels rising up inside of her.
I can do this, she repeats silently, tells herself until she believes it. It's only a dinner, a small dinner with friends, and if she can get through one of Stark's wild parties then she can get through this. Tonight will be good, she repeats, over again, before forcing herself to leave her room and return to the loft before she can change her mind. Wanda finds her way back to the main area of the loft easily and is immediately greeted by Lucky, who was apparently waiting for her and is so excited to see her that he jumps up at her like he hasn't seen her in years.
She gives him a quick hug then follows Lucky out into the loft, where she finds Clint and Pietro standing together, waiting for her. There's music playing from the stereo now, bottles and glasses have been placed on the island bench, and snacks have been scattered around the apartment. She still isn't hungry but she thinks that she could use a drink right now, that it might help with the nerves.
Wanda soon decides to have a drink later, not wanting to have to rely on alcohol to get through this. She quickly joins the boys where they're waiting for her over near the table of drinks. They both greet her with warm smiles and she suddenly feels so much better just being around them that she doesn't need that drink anymore.
"This looks nice." she smiles and glances over the room. "What can I do to help out?"
"We're all good now, thanks. Everything's cooking, or in the fridge." Clint says and smiles. "Don't worry, there's gonna be lots of food if you're hungry. But you have to move quickly with this group, okay? Especially Thor. That man eats like a horse."
"Thor?" Wanda smiles. "That is his name?"
"Yep. It's his name." he smiles back. "There's Thor, Loki, Volstagg. 'Wait till you meet Strange and Vision."
For a split second she's convinced they don't notice, that she is the only one aware of his name floating in the air between the three of them. Vision. Then slowly the tension fades, replaced by a quiet that she doesn't know how to break. Wanda looks away, distantly aware of Clint moving away, over to the island bench where he pours himself a new drink and then clears his throat.
"So, ummm. Want a drink, Wanda? Scotch? Wine?"
Pietro's over by Wanda's side in a second, before she can work out her answer, clearly eager to mend this. Whatever this is, she doesn't know, and he seems to want to get rid of the tension that still hangs there in the air between them.
"Why don't you check on dinner, babe?" Pietro suggests. "I will take Wanda upstairs, show her the rooftop."
She feels like she barely has a chance to process it.
"The rooftop? There is more?"
Her brother nods, smiles at her, then pulls her over to the hallway with a gentle tug. Wanda follows quietly, out of Clint's front door, into the elevator and then up. For a moment it is quiet, the low hum of the elevator the only noise as it takes them up to the rooftop. It isn't quiet for too long though and Wanda is thankful for that because there is too much on her mind right now and she always enjoys her conversations with Pietro.
"The garden is very nice." he assures her. "You will love it. I don't think you will want to leave."
"I'm not sure. The rooftop. It sounds danger—"
"Shhh," Pietro grins, nudging her side. "You'll see."
The elevator comes to a stop, the doors open, and then they're off again. Pietro takes her by the hand and tugs her forward, leading her out of the elevator, up a small staircase, and through an open door that leads out to the rooftop that is, once again, far beyond her expectations. It's so much bigger than she imagined it would be, so bright and spacious, and filled with so much life.
Wanda takes one step out into the garden and stops, struggling to take it all in, before Pietro grabs her hand and tugs her away again. She follows him through the garden, catching glimpses of pretty flowers growing, soft couches to sit on, and cute tables filled with plants, books and magazines. It feels nice up here, feels so much nicer than any rooftop she's ever seen. With so many chairs, little couches, and bean bags to sit on, she can't make her mind up where to sit.
Pietro does though, quickly deciding to sit on a wooden swing off to the side, and Wanda follows him there. She sits down in the seat slowly, her gaze sweeping across the big, bright area for a third time. She can't quite take it all in yet but she decides that it must be nice to have something like this to escape to and grow beautiful things in.
She lets out a sigh, happy here.
"So?" Pietro nudges her elbow. "Do you like it?"
Wanda hums a little, feeling distracted again. She sinks deeper into the seat next to her brother and exhales a breath. By her side Pietro says nothing, he simply begins to push the swing-seat back and forth, and she quickly begins to enjoy it and how it feels to have her feet up in the air for a little while.
"Yes, it is nice." she smiles. "I like the flowers."
"I thought you would. Clint grows flowers here sometimes. Well, he tries to grow them. But they usually die." Pietro answers, half-amused. "Maybe you could help? I am sure he would appreciate your help. He needs help sometimes but he'd never ask."
She nods and looks out at the sky.
"I will think about it." Wanda agrees quietly. But I am sure if he spent more time here, he could get something to grow."
Pietro smiles and follows her gaze out to the city. He seems distracted now, like there is more on his mind that he wants to say, and she already knows what it is. Wanda believes that she knows exactly what is on her brother's mind, why they are up here now, but she's not quite ready to talk about it yet. So she brings up something else that has been on her mind, something she's been wanting to talk to him about for a while but they just didn't have time.
"How are you feeling about work? Nervous?" she asks, softer now. "Do you think it will be hard to work with Clint?"
"Mm, no. I don't think so. I won't even see him most days, really." Pietro says and then turns to her, smiling. "He spends most of his time at our apartment, emptying the fridge, making a mess. Doesn't he? Don't worry so much, I'm fine. I will be fine, I promise. There is nothing to worry about."
Wanda smiles back gently, wanting to believe Pietro's words but still finding it hard. She just wants to protect him, to keep him safe like they've always kept each other safe, but she knows that she can't, not forever and not with this. Wanda knows that it's Pietro's decision to make, his life to live, and she won't stop him from living it the way he wants to. She will always worry but she says nothing about it, simply nodding at Pietro and giving his hand a squeeze.
The quiet doesn't last for long.
"He isn't coming tonight. Clint only said his name because he was trying to be funny." Pietro says gently, serious now. "It is only a few people coming tonight and I promise they are all very nice. If you give them a chance, I know you will like them all very much."
She sighs, almost looks back but doesn't.
"That is why we're up here?"
"Yes. But it is only because Clint was there." he explains, gentler now. "I didn't think you would wish to talk about it around him. And I really did think you would like the garden."
Slowly Wanda exhales a breath, deep and small. She turns to look at Pietro, aware of his close gaze, how curious he is, and she knows why. She never talks about this, they never talk about this, about Viszh. She knows that her brother has questions about what happened between them and one day she will give him answers, but she knows that today isn't that day. He seems to understand that too, in his own way, or this is what she tells herself.
"But Clint knows, doesn't he? About Viszh?" she asks. "His face, the way he looked at me. He knows?"
"Yes, he knows you were together. Once, a long time ago. He knows that it is over, but that is all." Pietro nods and wiggles closer. "I promise I didn't tell him. He already knew from someone else. It was Stark, I think. Maybe. And I think—"
"Pietro, it's okay." she sighs. "I promise I'm okay."
His face softens. "I know, I was just trying..."
"I know. To be helpful. You always are."
Pietro lets out a sigh and then smiles, all traces of uncertainty and concern fading from his face. He is happy again, happy that she is here with him, that she is okay, and Wanda so loves seeing him like this. She smiles back, gives his hand a soft squeeze, and then smiles more when he leans in and kisses her on the cheek. When he sits back again, his eyes are bright and his smile is big again.
"I just wanted to be sure," he adds. "That you were okay. That's why we're up here. I had to be sure."
"I am." Wanda nods. "I'm happy to be here. It's going to be fun, yes?"
He grins back at her, kisses the top of her head, then wiggles to the edge of his seat. Wanda watches Pietro as he jumps down, spins around toward her, and offers his hand out to lead the way back into the apartment. But the thing is, she's not quite ready to go back inside yet. She needs a minute up here alone in the garden, just to clear her head and stare up at the city for a while, and then she will come back downstairs and join them.
"Let's go back inside, mm? I will show you Clint's flowers." he says and smiles. "But you will know. They are the small ones that won't grow."
"I think I saw them already." Wanda smiles and relaxes into the swing. "I want to sit here for a moment. I will meet you downstairs soon?"
For the first few seconds Pietro is torn, he can't decide if he should stay or if he should leave and give her a moment alone. She knows that he's just trying to be there for her but she really is fine, she just needs a minute to clear her thoughts so she can come downstairs and enjoy tonight. Wanda hopes that Pietro will understand this and she soon learns that he does, because he always seems to be much more aware of things than she often realizes.
"Of course." he waves at her. "See you soon?"
Wanda nods and smiles back at her brother, watching as he quietly slips away inside. After he's gone she turns back to the sky, tempted to slip away into her past, back into old memories of the life she once had. But she doesn't want that, is determined to not go back there tonight, so she doesn't and she soon finds a distraction in the city.
The sky is so soft tonight, so pretty and blue. Wanda gets easily lost in its beauty and without even realizing it she lets everything else go. She exhales a breath, lifts her head up to the sky, and everything else (the past, the memories, the thoughts of Viszh) slips away from her soon and after it fades she feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. For the first time since she woke up this morning her nerves are gone, her head feels clearer, and all that she can think about is how lucky she is to be here tonight.
note:
hiiii i'm back (again) ❤ with a 10k chapter to make up for the wait. This chapter was really light and nice to write, so I hope you enjoy reading it. Also ENDgaME is so soon and I'm kinda stressing out just a little? so if anyone ever wants to chat/stress/cry about that then you can find me on on tumblr (yep I changed urls again) over at dannverrs. :) alsooo the next two chapters are really good + cute for winterwitch, so I'm really excited to update them and will work on getting them out soon. Thanks for reading!
P.S thank you to bethypie1998, darthelwig, guest, nana723 + waywarddreams for the comments! Also just a really big thanks to everyone who reads/has ever read this story, has left a follow, favorited or followed. It all means so much to me, so thank you. More updates coming soon...
Guest chapter 24: HI THANK YOU. sorry this reply is kinda late. and this update. But thank you. It's nice to be back :) I'm so glad you enjoyed the updated and it delivered, what a relief! I can't wait yo show you what's in store for Wanda and Bucky. Thanks so much for your kind and inspiring words. Have a great day!
x