A/N: So everyone make sure you read the last chapter which is part one of this two chapter update. This one is wild and a bit painful...the next one is all about the actual case and it's going to get intense. Shout out mrj726 (we worked our asses off on this one didn't we) Please review...we're almost at the finish line for this story. I can't wait...I'm exhausted. And with all that being said...here we go!
Jane
James was sitting across from me in the restaurant booth looking very much like he wanted to implode. He kept shaking his head and his face was wrinkled in a disbelieving frown. Both of our meals remained untouched but our drink glasses were empty. I'd had one drink already to calm my nerves and James had polished off his second Long Island Iced tea. I stabbed at my French fries with a fork and sighed heavily. I'd stopped crying long ago and my sadness was replaced with feelings of vindictiveness coupled with defeat.
I felt like I'd been living a lie for five long years. All this time I thought my family had been killed in a random drunk driving accident. To discover that it wasn't true and worse to discover that my family's death had something to do with Tommy having an apparent addiction to gambling was sickening. I couldn't care less that my brother was a criminal. Well that's a lie; I did care. A lot. But he'd been trying to do what was right at the end. He was fighting for justice and standing up for what was right and someone had killed him and my whole family for it. Someone in that fucking Road Dog gang. I stabbed my fork at my plate several more times. I felt my cheeks tremble in my fury and my entire body flush with rage. I wouldn't stand for this. I wouldn't let this go. I knew the truth now. I was the last surviving Rizzoli old enough to make a difference. It fell to me to avenge my brother and my family that were robbed from me. But how? I couldn't go at the gang head on and neither could Maura; we'd get killed! Still there had to be a way; there just had to be. And if not I just wanted to run. I wanted to forget everything I read in that file. I wanted to go back to New York and leave this hateful place behind for good. I should never have come here; well, I'm glad I did. This way I could convince Maura to stop what she was doing and come back to New York with me. I wanted justice; but I wanted Maura far more. I had been unhappy for so long and Maura filled my life with love and purpose. I didn't want that to end, I didn't want Maura to end. I just wanted peace for myself and our family.
I could feel James glancing up at me from time to time. His eyes were nervous and uncomfortable every time he looked at me. I didn't care what he was thinking. I didn't care what anyone was thinking. I had my own thoughts to consider and no room for thoughts or opinions from anyone else.
"Would you like another round?" Our perky waitress asked appearing at our booth.
"YES!" I said without even thinking.
James was more hesitant.
"Who's going to drive us home?" He hissed at me across the table.
I glared at him.
"I don't give a fuck! We'll leave the car here and take a taxi!" I grumbled stabbing at my plate again.
"But Jane I don't think you should get drunk in your state of mind..."
"...what state of mind is that MOM!" I spat at him angrily.
James cowered under my ferocity.
"Two more please!" He squeaked at the waitress who looked all too pleased to get away from the table.
James picked at his Cobb salad. I could tell he wanted to talk but I wasn't in the mood to coddle him anymore. I'd put up with his hysteria the entire way back to the city and now I just wanted to think about what the hell I was going to do. I drained half my drink as soon as the waitress delivered it and ordered another before she left the table. James kept glancing at me nervously as he sipped his drink from his pink straw.
"That's a woman's drink," I said offhandedly.
James pouted.
"You know she's going to find out it was us!" James retorted.
"What?" I frowned.
"She's going to find out it was us that broke into the car!" James exclaimed.
"HOW?!" I frowned.
"She's not stupid. You said you tore the papers in the file! The alarm didn't go off, there's no forced entry. She's going to know someone had to have a key to get in!" James sighed.
"She'll forgive you because she loves you. But what about me? This is a shit storm." He complained.
"You know what?! I just found out my entire family was murdered because my brother was trying to bring down the most dangerous motorcycle gang in Massachusetts. I've got more to worry about than Maura's reaction to you right now! And anyway, she will be mad at me too!" I spat across the table.
James nodded his head.
"Yeah you're right...she will be mad at you! She's not going to stand for the spy stuff anymore now that she knows the truth. She's going to pack us off to New York if we're lucky or overseas if she's feeling particularly malevolent. Maura's the only thing we need to worry about right now. She's the one working the case remember? She's the one going undercover in the homicidal death gang! They killed your family and an undercover police officer...they'll kill her too and you if you're not careful!"
"I'm not going anywhere! Maura can't order me around. She can't banish me from the city! I'll send Angela back to New York with Consuela but I'm not leaving Maura to do this alone. I don't care if she likes it or not. Either she comes to New York with us or I stay here with her." I shot back with more fierceness than I actually felt at the moment.
James sipped from his pink straw again looking at me from the corner of his narrowed eyes. I downed the rest of my drink.
"I think you're underestimating her. Maura does what she wants, and when she wants. She has the power of her name behind her. That woman can move mountains, you've seen her. She'll move you too if she wants...all the way back to New York. And she'll work this case if she wants to; you need to think about how to get her to leave for New York with us!" He wailed.
I felt my anger rising.
"I think you're misjudging me. I'll do as I please James. And I don't want Maura involved in this...not exactly. I don't want her running around undercover with those people. But I do want those biker bitches behind bars...or dead! I'll do it myself if it comes to that especially if it keeps Maura away from that gang! "I said slamming my fist on the table.
Several heads seated at tables near us looked warily in my direction. James reddened with embarrassment.
"You can't get involved and neither should Maura." He tried to convince me.
"We just need to come up with another plan. We need to figure out how to get to the gang without getting directly involved with them. There has to be a way. We need to go to that strip club and check it out," I whispered to James.
James looked incredulous. His hair was wild and his suit was rumpled and the knot of his tie was undone. I'd never seen him look so disheveled and his frantic expression made him look dangerously close to crazed.
"WE need to throw ourselves at Maura's feet and confess to everything and beg her forgiveness! At least that's what I need to do. I'm not protected like you. She's not in love with me! We gotta stay away from this from now on, Jane. More than that we need to convince Maura to stay away from it too! How could you even think of getting involved now that you know the truth?" James said with shaky fists and veins popping out of his neck and forehead. .
"Honestly I don't want to be involved! I want to take Maura and run. But if she won't leave with me how can I NOT get involved now that I know the truth? I have to at least try right? My brother died trying! You've got family; what would you do if someone killed them and you had the chance to find out who it was?" I retorted angrily.
"I'd let the police do their fucking JOB!" James hissed.
His jowls were quivering and his face was reddening.
"I did do that and they gave up!" I said crunching on a piece of ice to keep myself from shouting.
"They reopened the case...they're trying to figure it out!" James said drinking from his pink straw again.
"When you say 'they' you mean Maura and that old raisin detective going undercover with a bunch of sociopaths. It's too dangerous, the very idea is insane! You said you didn't want Maura to go undercover with them either. You said you loved her like a sister! Help me out here James!" I pleaded with him.
James sighed and swore under his breath.
"I don't want you getting involved in this either. Maura would die if something happened to you...and she'd blame me for it. She could crush me if she wanted! Maura's only doing her job, but you're a civilian and her girlfriend. Like I said, I say we confess to what we did and try to convince Maura to come back to New York with us until this whole thing is sorted out." James tried to convince me.
I sat back flustered and frustrated.
"She won't do it James. She won't give up; I know her! If she won't back down, neither can I. I don't want to get killed nor Maura to get killed either; especially Maura James. I'll be damned if she's getting into this mess alone! We have to figure out how to help this case along so everyone on the good side comes out alive!" I cried.
"Well what the fuck Jane, what do you want me to say? Obviously this gang is not playing around; getting involved is a death sentence. There's no way to do it without danger!"
"Think James. You have a private investigator. I feel like Maura and that old detective are looking for somebody with that same jacket they were wearing. There were all kinds of pictures of the jacket in that file. And that strip club...something's going on with the strip club. I say we sit outside that club and wait for the guy with the jacket to show up. Then we steal his bike and give it to Maura to find fingerprints or something. She says she has a finger print. We don't even have to meet those people face to face. I don't know why Maura didn't think of this!" I said chewing on another piece of ice.
"You don't think that gang would notice us sitting outside that club night after night? They probably have cameras and stuff. They'll get our license plate number and track us down. Even Maura wouldn't just steal a bike because it's an illegal search and seizure for the police and just plain old grand theft auto for us you fucking crazy pants! There's a process to this thing. They have to prove probable cause in order to convince a judge to sign a warrant to seize property, run finger prints and DNA. They can only prove probable cause if they get some kind of confession from someone in the gang about some crime or conspiracy and even then they need to find the right guy before they make a move. The only way to do that is undercover. We don't know the specifics of what's going on with the jacket. We can't run around stealing motorcycles from everyone in the world that has that damn jacket! Any evidence we collect that way wouldn't be admissible in court, then the gang would be on to us, we'd blow the entire investigation; the whole police department would hate our guts, not to mention how embarrassed and furious Maura would be...and then MURDER or worse JAIL! Think like a cop miss NYPD." James hissed.
I frowned. James was right. I scratched my head thinking hard.
"What if we..." I started, but James cut me off.
"...Stop saying 'we' I'm over the freaking 'we' word right now. If it doesn't have something to do with convincing Maura to stop with this nonsense I don't want to hear it." James growled.
I glared at him.
"What if we found the guy with the jacket and at least got his license plate number and got your detective guy to do some background checks on him. If something comes up for him in the system like a warrant we can give the police an anonymous tip. We can do this James," I pushed.
James looked drained.
"We'd still have to find out who the guy is and that's nearly impossible without going undercover. It's bigger than just the one guy. We don't know if he was ordered to kill your family by someone higher up in the gang or what the fuck is going on. I can tell you one arrest isn't going to make a difference. You have to take the gang out at the knees and cut off the head. You have to do that from the inside. It's too dangerous. Jesus Christ you're persistent!" He scoffed.
"Persistence is the key to success," I smiled.
"In this case persistence is the key to murder." James retorted.
I rolled my eyes. I started to argue again but my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID, it was Maura. I didn't bother to answer. I was too angry with her to speak to her.
"That's her isn't it?" James sat up excitedly.
"Yes," I admitted.
"Answer it, explain yourself, plead for mercy!" He cried.
I shook my head.
"James, I'm furious with her. She should have told me the truth about my brother! She was probably never going to tell me! I'm so mad I can't think straight right now."
James looked like he wanted to fall out of the booth.
"You're mad at her? We are the ones running around like Sherlock and Watson breaking into cars and shit! How was she supposed to tell you about your brother? She was trying to protect you from this and from yourself. She'd do anything to protect you. Why can't you see that?"
I shot daggers at James across the table.
"It wasn't her place to do that!" I raged.
"She had every right to do that. It's her case..."
"...It's my family's case!" I interrupted.
James closed his eyes and gathered his strength. He opened his eyes and fixed me with a level gaze.
"The only reason your family has a chance at justice at all is because of Maura. Your arrogance in thinking you can do better than her is astounding!"
I fumed.
"Maura's not a detective..."
"..Neither are YOU!" James spat. "The only one qualified to do this is Maura and the police...let them do what they do best which is solve crime!"
"And let her get killed in the process? I don't think so! I've lost enough already. I'm not losing her too."
"You need to come clean about the car incident and listen to what she says. We can give her some ideas of how to solve the case but at the end of the day it's not up to us. She knows best Jane. If she refuses to back down at least she'll protect you and solve this case one way or another."
I started to argue again but James' cell phone rang.
"It's Maura," He exclaimed.
I grabbed the phone from his hand and held it away from him.
"Jane...give it...give it!" He begged trying desperately to snatch his phone back.
I swatted at him and cursed until it stopped ringing. James sat back in the booth looking flustered and dejected. Everyone around us was staring.
"Why are you being so stubborn?" James hissed.
I tucked his phone in my pants pocket and leaned back in the booth.
"If Maura refuses to back away from the case how do I convince her to let me help?"
"You don't!" James said rolling his eyes and rubbing his forehead.
I thought for a few moments.
"I have an idea!" I exclaimed at last.
James grumbled.
"Not another one of your ideas."
...
I paid the taxi driver and ran up the driveway to the front door with James in tow.
"I can't believe we just left a rental car at a restaurant!" He complained.
"Stop fretting you whiner it will be fine!" I said through clenched teeth.
"I have to pee so badly!" James wailed.
I rolled my eyes.
"That's because you had three lady drinks and you have a woman's bladder." I chuckled.
James fumed at my insult. I rummaged in my pocket for my house key when I heard the click of a gun behind me. I spun around. James was pressed against the front of the house with his hands up trembling in fear. There was a very large man pointing a very large hand gun at us. He was wearing a sharp black business suit and was clean shaven and clean cut. He certainly didn't look like a scary biker but he did look frightening none the less. There was no fear in his eyes and no hesitation in his demeanor. He had the set jaw and steady arms of a man who had wielded a gun many times in his life. I raised my hands slowly shocked and uncertain of what was going on. It was early evening, the sun was just setting. This couldn't be a robbery, so what the fuck?
"Identify yourselves!" The man barked at us.
James squeaked. I frowned.
"I live here; this is my girlfriend's home and this is our attorney! Who the hell are you?" I inquired.
I was growing angry that this man was aiming a gun at me on the front steps of my girlfriend's house.
"Jane Rizzoli? James Licton?" The man asked with authority.
"YES!" I exclaimed.
James was shaking like a leaf beside me.
"I'm Arthur Bennington. Dr. Isles hired me and my partner as private security for you and the family for the time being." The man said holstering his weapon.
"WHAT!" I wailed.
"Go inside ma'am and sir. Dr. Isles will be home shortly."
"Is she very mad?" James quaked.
The security man cocked his head to the side and seemed amused.
"Just wait inside." He said.
I didn't need to be told twice. I opened the front door and dragged James inside behind me.
"Gross James, you're sweating like crazy!" I said wiping James' sweat on my jeans.
"I think I pissed myself a little, that guy's so scary, Jane!" James wailed.
I rolled my eyes.
"You're such a sissy-go change!" I berated him.
"Go to hell you were scared too!" He spat at me.
"Who wouldn't be? At least my pants are dry you wimp. I can't believe Maura's got those secret service dudes running around the house pointing guns at people!" I exclaimed.
I was extremely shaken by what had just happened. I was trying to pull myself together with great effort but James' panting was distracting.
"She's scared for you and the baby. That's how dangerous this situation is...it calls for delta force one!" James exclaimed.
I started to respond when my thoughts were interrupted.
"WHERE YOU BEEN MALDITA?" Consuela screeched bounding into the foyer with Angela on her hip.
I smiled at my baby and pulled her into my arms. She giggled and pulled my hair as I kissed her all over her cheeks. Franklin Thomas rushed up to us and barked at James' feet. James stepped behind me and eyed FT warily. I thought I saw him put his hands in front of his crotch protectively. I smirked.
"What's going on with the guy outside, Consuela?" I asked walking toward the living room with Angela bouncing in my arms.
"I not know! There another one upstairs digging around. Big scary man with big scary gun! Doctor call in panic asking for you! She send strange men here and no explain why. What you doing? Where you been?" Consuela said at my heels berating me with information and questions.
"If you two in trouble I taking baby away from here! I already pack bags! You tell me what's going on!" Consuela demanded of me.
I sat on the couch and kissed the top of Angela's head. James had come back from probably changing his urine-soaked boxers and disappeared into the kitchen. Consuela stood over me with her hands on her hips and a pout on her wrinkled face but her eyes were wide with excitement.
"I want you to leave for New York tonight Consuela. I'll book you a flight on my credit card but I want Angela out of here as soon as possible. You'll be safe there."
Consuela narrowed her eyes at me.
"I knew you in trouble. Loca! Maldita! You come to New York with me!" She demanded.
I shook my head. What the hell? Maldita? I'd have to ask Maura what the word meant. Angela squealed in my arms reaching for her stuffed elephant. I handed her the toy and kissed her head again smiling at her grinning face as she chewed on the animal's ear.
"No Consuela. I have to stay here with Maura, but you must keep my baby safe."
Consuela looked beside herself.
"What is going ON?!" She ranted.
James came back with two glasses of wine handing one to me and drinking from the other. He was only wearing his dress shoes, socks, boxers and a wife beater t-shirt. Consuela began screaming something to the effect of people used to wear clothes in the doctor's house until I moved in.
"Jane's brother was a gangster back in the day. He got a guilty conscience and turned on the gang. The gang found out and had him killed along with Jane's entire family. The police never solved the case five years ago and now Maura's running around playing hero. Jane made me spy on Maura and we found out she's going undercover to find the guy that killed Jane's family after Jane broke into Maura's car, and now Jane wants to run around playing vigilante like a crazy ass! Maura must think someone from the gang broke into her car and that's why she sent that security team to the house. The gang is a bunch of dangerous murderers and as long as Maura's working this case and Jane keeps being a nosey ass girlfriend we're all in danger. That's what's going on!" James said flopping down on the couch and sipping from the wine glass again.
I glared at him. Consuela looked fit to be tied.
"You not serious!" She shouted.
"He is serious," I said honestly.
"But that crazy. You and doctor get yourselves killed!" Consuela wailed.
I started to reply when a second security guard entered the room. He looked twice as scary as the first guy. He was a giant hulk of a man standing way over six feet with shoulders as broad as a doorway. His face looked like it hadn't worn a smile in a decade at least and his cold blue eyes were piercing and observant of everything. I stared at the man with my jaw hanging open. James looked like he needed to change his shorts again. Consuela looked flustered and aggravated by the man's presence. Angela squealed and giggled at the huge beast of a man. The man actually smiled at my baby. I was shocked that his lips knew how to make a smile at all. Hulkster took one look at James sitting in his shorts cowering like an idiot and gave him a distasteful frown.
"Who the fuck are you?" I exclaimed in a high-pitched uptight voice.
The man nodded his head toward me.
"Gerald Ingles, ma'am. At your service. Dr. Isles hired me to keep you safe. I'll be your personal escort back to New York and your bodyguard until Dr. Isles says otherwise." The man explained.
"What!" I blurted out.
"Dr. Isles feels that under the circumstances..."
"...what circumstances!" I interrupted the man. "I don't need a baby sitter and I'm not going back to New York!"
James nudged me with his elbow.
"Careful," James whispered close to me "That guy could snap your neck like a twig!"
I rolled my eyes.
"What exactly did my girlfriend say to you?" I inquired as patiently as I could.
Gerald inclined his head again.
"It would be best if the doctor explained herself," He replied steadily.
"She not tell me either!" Consuela huffed.
I started to ask more questions when the front door opened and people started pouring into the house. Gerald pulled his weapon until he noticed the children and the frantic woman walking through the door. A radio on Gerald's waist chimed in.
"Two toddlers, one infant and one adult female entering the premises. No security threat detected!" Arthur's voice sounded over the radio.
Gerald holstered his weapon.
"Molly!" James exclaimed.
He bounded to his feet and ran towards the door giving the security guard a wide berth and eyeing him warily as he passed him. Two young boys, at the most three and four years old, and James' wife walked into the house. James' wife was holding a baby carrier in one hand and luggage in another. The second security guard Arthur entered the house laden down with luggage. I rose to my feet in shock. Molly and James' children weren't supposed to show up until the next day and I had planned on asking James to cancel their visit all together in light of recent events. I didn't want my own child in the house let alone anyone else's until matters were under control again. Franklin Thomas was circling the company and barking excitedly. The two young boys squealed in excitement at my puppy and started running through the house, knocking things over with their flailing arms, and yelling at the top of their lungs with Franklin Thomas in tow nipping at their heels. Angela giggled and squirmed in my lap excitedly trying to make me put her down. Consuela looked beside herself.
"Who these people Miss Jane?" She whispered to me with bright flustered eyes.
I eyed her back just as bewildered.
"James' family. Those are his kids and that's his wife!" I explained.
The two boys started jumping on the love seat and throwing pillows at Franklin Thomas who barked happily and ran around the couch with his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Consuela started screeching and waiving her arms in consternation.
"NO jumping on furniture...no throwing pillows! NO NO NO!" She wailed.
Consuela was red faced and huffing snatching pillows from the boys and trying to swat at Franklin Thomas with them. FT snatched a pillow right out of her hand and started tearing into it excitedly sending bits of stuffing flying everywhere. I sighed and rolled my eyes. This insanity on top of everything else I had to contend with was maddening.
"Fuck me!" I wailed to myself.
I looked at the security guard. He seemed to be mildly amused by the goings on. A pillow narrowly missed my head and I ran from the living room with Angela cradled in my arms. I scooted up to James who looked panicked and terror stricken for some reason. Molly looked teary eyed and woeful. She was extremely thin I noticed and seemed like she was in way over her head. The young blond was sniffing softly, her eyes red and runny.
"What's going on buddy?" I asked James through gritted teeth.
He eyed me nervously. His brow was sweating for some reason and he seemed more fidgety than usual. The boys ran through the downstairs again screaming at the top of their lungs with a barking Franklin Thomas close behind them. James looked like he wanted to chase down his boys but he seemed afraid to leave his wife. I narrowed my eyes at James' bad ass kids. They were spreading stuffing from the ripped pillow all over the house. Angela seemed thrilled at all the excitement. I struggled with her writhing body. Consuela appeared at my side and pulled Angela from my arms walking up the stairs cursing in Spanish under her breath. I noticed her uniform was covered in bits of pillow stuffing. I was too frustrated to find it in myself to grin. I pinched the bridge of my nose between my eyes and sighed heavily.
"HI Jane," James' wife said breathlessly. She put the baby carrier down and shook my hand. I smiled as graciously as I could.
"Hey Molly, you're early." I said not unkindly but I glared at James briefly before returning a smile to Molly.
The boys ran by again still screaming.
"Show me where to put these," Gerald said holding up the suitcases.
"Oh...um follow me," James said heading up the stairs.
I laughed nervously when I was left alone with Molly. Molly was staring at James's state of dress or undress and frowning a little.
"SO!" I said trying to break the tension "How old is the pip squeak?"
"Oh, eight months yesterday. I know I wasn't supposed to show up until tomorrow, but the boys are such a handful and they miss their father. It's hard for me alone with all three of them." Molly looked exhausted.
I noticed her shirt had a milk stain on it, her hair was frazzled and her eyes looked weary and overwhelmed. I felt sympathetic toward her. I could still hear the boys screaming somewhere in the house. I took the baby carrier and led Molly into the living room. There were pillows, couch cushions, and stuffing everywhere. Somehow a lamp had gotten knocked over and for some reason gummy treats were scattered all over the floor. Molly looked embarrassed. The boys ran back into the living room and started jumping on the love seat again.
"Boys please stop! We're guests here!" She pleaded with the boys who paid her no mind.
They were busy throwing gummy treats at Franklin Thomas who was making a game of jumping up and catching them. I didn't know what to think. Molly wasn't more than 26 and in no condition to deal with her rambunctious boys. I sat the baby carrier on the coffee table and snatched up the two boys by the collar.
"You two devils outside!" I barked with a cop's authority, hustling them by their necks toward the back door.
Franklin Thomas followed looking for more treats.
"You too!" I shouted at my dog as I pushed the boys out on the back patio. FT followed.
I closed the door behind them and turned my attention to Molly. She was brushing at the milk stain on her shirt. I thought I saw tears in her eyes. I sighed and shook my head.
"Do you think you could entertain the animals while Molly and I talk?" I asked the giant security guard.
He nodded his head and slipped outside. I went about putting couch cushions back in their place and poured Molly as glass of wine. I figured if she were breastfeeding she would just set it down, but it seemed like she could sure use something to calm her nerves.
"What's going on sweetheart you look...frazzled?" I said pulling Molly down on the couch.
She took the glass of wine and drank heavily from it thanking me graciously. Not breastfeeding apparently…at least I hoped not.
"I can't do this Jane. I'm a terrible mother! The boys never listen to me. You see what they're like. I'm depressed all the time and James is always gone and I'm all alone in that big house and no one to help me. I just needed to see my husband," She began to cry. I topped off her glass of wine.
I patted her on the shoulder. I didn't know what the hell to say. I had a million things on my mind, two giant hit secret service type babysitters to contend with, I had to get Angela and Consuela out of the city, a girlfriend to no doubt fight with, my family's murder to help solve, and now I had a house full of guests to top it off. I sighed and drank from my own wine glass. Molly was still crying and then she leaned her head on my shoulder sobbing uncontrollably. I rolled my eyes and patted her back drinking my wine over her shoulder as I did so. James and Consuela entered the living room. Consuela looked around and started cursing at the mess. James seemed humiliated at his wife's breakdown and their baby started crying. I rolled my eyes.
"Oh NO! My shirt!" Molly wailed.
She pulled away and I noticed her breasts were leaking milk through the fabric. She started crying all the harder. I eyed James nervously and pulled their baby out of her carrier. James smiled at me painfully and led his wife upstairs.
"This madness!" Consuela screeched as soon as James and his wife were upstairs.
"I KNOW! But they're guests. We can't kick them out," I said wearily sitting down with James' baby and rocking her gently with in my arms.
Consuela started putting the living room back together. She cursed many times when she stepped on a sticky gummy treat smashing it into the Oriental rug.
"In all the years I know doctor I never know so much madness in the house. Now you say you in danger and so is Doctor! Ay dios Mio."
I started to reply but the front door opened again and Maura and Korsak walked inside. Maura looked furious and Korsak looked like he wanted to walk right back out the door. Maura's eyes went wide when she walked into the living room and saw what was going on and James' baby in my arms.
"Hey honey!" I said sarcastically.
"What is going on?" Maura shouted over the noise looking around with wild eyes. She noticed James' boys screaming outside with Gerald chasing after them. Her jaw dropped. Korsak scratched at his stubble.
"Oh isn't it great, James' family is a day early!" I yelled back. "Good evening Detective Korsak," I nodded to the man.
"Jane," He replied casually.
James's baby was squalling in my arms so we all had to shout to be heard. Maura pulled the baby girl into her own arms.
"Honey we need to talk!" Maura shouted over the baby's crying.
"WHAT!" I shouted back.
Maura started to reply when the baby spit up on her blouse. I couldn't even laugh even though it was hysterical. Maura looked beside herself with frustration. I just shook my head and pulled off my tank top and wiped off Maura's blouse. Maura looked at me furiously nodding her head toward the detective and then back at my topless body. I shrugged my shoulders. What did it matter? I had a bra on for Christ sakes. Consuela pulled the baby from Maura's arms. Maura grabbed mine and detective Korsak's hands and led us into the dining room. She rounded on us furiously.
"Did you break into my car today, Jane?" She asked me straight out.
I was shocked for a moment, and then I shrugged my shoulders again.
"Maybe...um…weeelll…yeah kind of I did" I confessed.
Maura looked furious.
"What does that mean, Jane?" She demanded.
"You gave me a key, so it's not exactly like breaking into the car." I said backing up a few steps, as I answered.
Maura fixed me with a vicious glare."Why would you do that Jane? Do you have any idea how terrified I've been? I thought someone stole the key from you! I thought you were in danger! I was scared to death something happened to you and then you didn't answer your phone! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Maura raged at me.
I threw the dirty shirt on the floor and clenched my fists.
"I did what I had to do because I knew you were hiding something and I was right! I read that file." I said narrowing my eyes at my girlfriend.
Maura looked beside herself with anger.
"You had no right to do that Jane. We talked about this; you said you trusted me! Now I find out you've been running around behind my back spying on me?" Maura was quaking in fury.
I gave her my most loathsome glare.
"You've got a lot of nerve talking about someone sneaking around behind someone's back! You were going to run around undercover in a motorcycle murder gang and not tell me! That's bullshit...not to mention totally insane! I demand you stop with this undercover shit immediately!" I screamed at her.
The look Maura gave me could have melted ice and set the room on fire at the same time. I held my ground. I would not flinch under her fury.
"You do not make demands of me when it comes to my job!" Maura said in a low chilly tone laced with contempt.
I was so angry I kicked my shirt on the floor and sent it flying across the room.
"Well you don't do things that could get you killed and not even give me a heads up about it! Did you consider me at all when you were thinking up plans to infiltrate this death gang? Did you think about Angela? Angela is your daughter too. Legally she is still under your supervision, remember?Did you ever consider how devastated I'd be if something happened to you because of this case?" I fumed huffing and puffing between gasping furious breaths. I could hardly breathe.
Maura threw up her hands.
"All I think about is you and Angela! If something happens to me I left you everything besides what's designated for my charities. I'm working this case for you Jane. Did you ever consider how much it would hurt me if something happened to you? I'm trying to protect you; everything I do is for you!For us. I hired security to keep you safe and all the while you've been putting us all in danger with your snooping! When was it going to stop Jane? If I hadn't caught you today were you just going to keep on interfering? Do you know how dangerous that would be for you?For me? For the other officers involved in this investigation?" Maura exclaimed, her voice high and shrill.
My teeth were grinding in my head.
"It is not about money Maura. We are not about money. I am not about money. Yeah I thought about how dangerous this is...for you! I don't want you dead. And yeah I would have kept following you around; someone has to watch out for you since you're so determined to get yourself killed! I'm still going to follow you around because I don't trust you to stop this insanity!" I thundered.
"They killed my brothers and my mother Maura; I couldn't bare it if they killed you too. I love and adore you. You are my family. I could not survive losing you. I can only take so much." I could feel the tears burning my eyes.
I swallowed hard and turned away. I brought a trembling hand up to my mouth to hold back the pain.
Maura looked like all her worst fears were coming true. Detective Korsak sighed.
"Jane I've been a detective a long time. I can tell you I'm doing everything I can..." The detective said sympathetically.
I glared at him and walked right up to him.
"...You guys got my family killed by letting my brother get involved in the gang when he was trying to get out. An undercover officer lost his life too. Now you want to get my girlfriend killed! It was your idea to drag Maura into the undercover thing wasn't it? She is a doctor. Not a cop!" I screamed stabbing Detective Korsak in the chest with my finger.
The detective was obviously a little shaken by my accusation only because it was true. Maura looked bewildered by my outrage.
"And you!" I looked straight at Maura, "How could you keep all that from me about my brother working undercover with the police?"
Maura seemed hurt by my words. She reached for my hand but I pulled away. I didn't want to be consoled; I wanted the absolute truth for once.
"I didn't even receive that file until this morning. How could I tell you all those things, Jane? I knew how much it would hurt you; Detective Korsak and I are working extremely hard to solve this case but I need you to calm down and let me explain..."
"...Jiggle Hut gentleman's club right?" I blurted out.
I sneered at their shocked expressions.
"Yeah I know about the strip club." I spat at them.
Maura looked like she wanted to cry. Korsak looked like he didn't know what to say.
"Jane please; you're not supposed to know about that place!" Maura wailed.
"But I do know and so help me I'll burn that place to the ground if you ever try and set foot in there!" I glared at her furiously.
"Jane you would go to jail and the gang would find out who you were and kill us most likely! What would happen to Angela if something happened to both of us?" Maura wailed.
"You know what Maura I'll back off if you back off. I don't want you getting yourself killed over this case. It's crazy and you're crazy and I'm crazy because you're crazy! Let's forget this whole thing. Let's get my nephew and go back to New York. I wish this wasn't happening. I wish you never opened this case." I pleaded.
Maura's eyes looked sad and heavy.
"Detective Korsak can you wait for me in the living room," Maura sighed.
Korsak nodded his head and walked away. Maura and I stared at each other for a long time. I could hear the baby screaming in the living room, I could hear the boys screaming outside, I could hear James' wife crying upstairs, I could hear Consuela cursing about everything. But I had eyes only for Maura. She was so beautiful despite how furious I was with her. Her hazel eyes held a certain sadness I'd never seen and the look of sympathy on her face melted my anger. I felt cold as I stood there shirtless. I wrapped my arms around my body and sniffled. I didn't want to fight anymore; I just wanted Maura to stay home with me where it was safe. Maura sighed and brushed her fingers through my wild tangled locks. I dug at my tired eyes with my knuckles and blinked back tears.
"I only followed you because I was worried about you," I admitted
Maura's smile was pained and forced.
"I only opened this case because I was worried about you!" She whispered. "But it's grown into so much more than that. This case is bigger than I ever imagined but baby you have to back down. Korsak and Frost won't mention your indiscretion; but I can't protect you from the law if you keep going vigilante. Not to mention how dangerous it is. Do you understand?" Maura tried to console me.
"Does that mean you won't go undercover?" I asked hopefully.
"No, I'm still the best option at collecting the evidence I need since the higher ups won't give us more manpower. But I'll be careful honey, don't worry." Maura tried to be reassuring.
It wasn't working. I sighed and shook my head. A lonely tear ran down my cheek.
"I won't let you do it," I whispered.
My breath was raspy and choked. I felt my face burn. I felt my lips tremble. I felt my eyes sting. I wouldn't let her do it. I loved her. Maura sighed and kissed my cheek.
"I've called my pilot; you and everyone else are going back to New York tonight. I'm sending the security team with you to keep you safe. I can't do my job if I'm terrified for you or worried that you'll do something silly to get yourself in trouble." Maura said looking sincerely into my eyes.
I turned away from her, angry tears streamed down my face. I grabbed at my chest and my beating heart. It felt like something inside me had broken sending wave after wave of pain surging through me.
"NO! I'm not leaving. I won't do it. I'm not leaving you!" I cried.
I couldn't hold back the tears. Agony enveloped me driving me to desperate hysteria.
Maura crossed her arms and closed her eyes. I could see pain all over her face, but the set of her jaw told me she would not bend. My pain and Maura's defiance drove me to fury.
"You can't make me go! You can't boss me around! I'm staying with you...you need me...I need you! I don't want to live another day without you," I cried.
I covered my face with my shaking hands. Maura's voice was soft and sad, grief was written all over her but still she would not bend.
"I don't want to live another day without you either, Jane, which is why you must go. You told me yourself you wouldn't stop interfering. I can't trust you to stay in Boston. You're the mother of my daughter and my son." Maura whispered. "I ran the DNA tests from the sample James collected from your nephew. We have a son now; I have to consider what's best for my entire family sweetheart. That's my job, you are all my responsibility and there is nothing I take more serious than my family. Even if my decisions are painful to us both I have to do what's best. You've trusted me as the head of this house up until now, and I need you to trust me now more than ever. I will do everything in my power to get through this case alive; but I will do everything in my power to keep you as far away from it as possible also. My son and my daughter need their mother. Do you understand little princess?" Maura wrapped me in her arms and I cried on her shoulder.
I held her so tightly against me I was afraid I might crush her. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want the world to have her. I didn't want her to leave me or make me leave her. I wanted to stay in her arms forever. I would keep her safe and she would keep me safe and we could be happy together forever in our embrace. I kissed her so hard I thought our lips might bruise. She held my face in her hands and let me kiss her the way I wanted.
My lips trembled against hers.
"Come back to New York with me," I pleaded.
Maura hesitated. She gazed deep into my eyes. She leaned in and kissed me softly, gently, sweetly. It was the greatest kiss, the greatest love. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I kissed her back. I wrapped my hands in her silky hair and trembled with longing and desperation to keep her near. She was my light, I couldn't lose her to the darkness. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the taste of her and the smell of her shampoo and the sound of her soft sweet moan against my lips. We broke the kiss slowly and stood in each other's arms letting the world fall away around us.
"Is that what you want? For me to give up and go back to New York? Should I tremble in the face of evil and allow these bad men to terrorize innocent people like you and so many others?" She whispered softly.
"What I don't want is for something to happen to you." I said nuzzling my nose in Maura's neck.
I felt her body tremble in my arms.
"Janie sweetheart listen to me," Maura said stepping back and holding me firmly at arm's length.
"We're so close to solving this case. If we can find the man responsible for the murder and get a warrant to collect his DNA or fingerprint we can convince the DA to claim RICO against the gang and bring the whole club down like a house of cards. We can put this gang away for the rest of their lives. They've hurt so many people; I have the chance to bring justice for you and many others. I can't turn my back now. I made you a promise."
I felt my heart breaking.
"Maura I swear to God enough with the promise! My family's already gone, I can't bring them back. I've made peace with that now because I have something else to live for; I have you and Angela and my nephew. I can't raise them both without you...we are a family!You're my family...I need you with me." I begged her with eyes burning with desperation.
Maura looked at me with compassion, empathy and so much love. She brushed the tears from my eyes and kissed my cheek.
"I'm right here little princess; you have my heart. You will never be without me. I am anywhere and everywhere you are even if we're a thousand miles apart. You say you've made peace with your family's death but you haven't sweetheart. You haven't even been to their graves yet. Now unfortunately you know it wasn't just a drunk driving accident...it was murder through and through. It will eat at you forever if you never know who did it or what happened. Do you want some other person to go through the same pain and loss as you? Don't you want justice for your nephew's father? Don't you want your brother's bravery to count for something? Don't you want freedom for the poor, young, often under-aged girls they buy and sell as sex slaves? Do you really want me to turn my back when I can bring them down? You told me once I can't run and hide just because something is painful or scary. You said I have to face my fears and see things through to the end. I need you to stand by me while I stand up for what's right. I need you to trust me and know that I'm doing what's best for you, our babies, and the world. I need to know when I walk into that club that the love of my life is far away and safe with my children." She whispered tenderly in my ear.
"But they kill people, Maura! What if they kill you too? How can you ask me to leave you knowing I might never see you again? How can you ask that of me? I can't do it. I'm not walking away. I staying...I am staying right here," I fell to my knees at Maura's feet wrapping my arms around her waist and holding her tightly against me.
I felt the tears streaming down my face. I couldn't stop the sobs from taking over. I wiped furiously at my tears willing myself to be strong but I had no more strength. The truth of so many things overwhelmed me. My family's murder, my lost nephew, years of regrets over having thought my family's death was my fault when all the while the truth was far more sinister than I could ever have imagined. I'd found my strength through Maura, but nothing could completely wipe away the torment of my family's loss deep in the depths of me. I thought I was managing but maybe I was wrong. Maura was my champion on so many levels. I'd live with the agony in my heart if Maura was always there to comfort me. I wanted to be strong but Maura was my strength. Without her I was nothing. I let the tears flow as they may. Maura cradled the back of my head running her fingers through my hair and shushing me. I sobbed into the soft fabric of her blouse. I couldn't lose her too. I would lose my mind if I lost her too.
"Don't cry baby girl," She said softly.
I only cried harder.
"Please don't do this Maura. I can't lose you...I love you so much...I need you so much! Let's run away with Angela and my nephew and leave this place behind. I'll have your babies and make a home with you and take care of you and love you like crazy. Maura the horrible sore in my soul that I filled with drugs and sex and self-loathing for so long feels like it is ripping me wide open all over again. It's not fair. You can't show me the world and make me feel loved after I hated myself for so long just to turn around and leave me for the same mess that got my family killed. You can't call Angela your daughter and turn your back on her. You can't write me a check for all your money and then send me off like I'm just in your way! Just please Maura, don't leave me! Don't leave me! Don't leave me!" I cried so hard my body shook and my muscles trembled.
Maura looked down at me for a long time wiping my tears and brushed her fingers over my cheek. Her face was drawn and tight with exhaustion but she said nothing. Her eyes were red, her lips trembled, so much pain shown on her face. I could tell she was thinking hard of what to say. I was terrified she was going to say something that would hurt me and a lump formed in my throat.
"Let's just go! Let's just run away! All I need is you and the kids...you're everything to me Maura. Please...PLEASE don't leave me!" I begged her with all my might.
Maura looked down at me sadly. A tear ran down her cheek as she cradled my face in her hands and I could see so many emotions on her face. I could tell she wanted to cry too. I could see her eyes shining with tears. I could see her lips quiver and her jaw work to keep herself from sobbing like me. Her eyes radiated affection but there was sadness also. I knew she couldn't stand to see me like this. I knew I was breaking her heart. I knew she just wanted me to be happy and would do anything to make that happen, even if it wasn't what I thought I needed. I took her hands and held them tightly as I looked up at her from my knees with a desperate tear streaked face. I noticed Maura swallow many times to hold back her waves of emotions. She was just about to speak when Korsak walked into the dining room.
"My contact just called. The guy with the jacket is at the club right now!" Korsak sounded excited and determined.
I whimpered. I looked up at Maura. I could feel my eyes burning with desperation. Maura looked shocked. Then she closed her eyes tightly shaking her head and sighing heavily. I pulled at her blouse and lay my head against her stomach.
"Don't go." I whispered so softly I don't even know if she heard me.
Maura lifted my chin with her fingers and cradled my face in her hands. Her expression was solid and determined. There was no fear in her eyes; but I still saw the sorrow she felt for what she was about to say. I knew what she was going to say before she even spoke. I felt it in my heart. Terror and adrenaline enveloped my senses. Maura's face was a cold mask. She pushed her fears and feelings into the recesses of her mind. She was mine no longer in that moment. She was Doctor Maura Isles. There was no weakness in her, and I was her greatest weakness. There was no room for thoughts of me. The realization that I had lost this war crippled me. I dissolved. She would go, I knew it. She was leaving me for the darkness.
I sat cross legged on the floor and sobbed into my hands. I didn't hear the words Maura said to me. I blocked them out. I didn't feel the kiss she bestowed on my cheek. I didn't hear her orders to James and the security guards. I didn't notice the ensuing panic in the house. I didn't notice the other adults gathering luggage and preparing to leave in a flurry to rapid motion. I didn't hear the cars pull up outside to take us to the private airport where Maura's plane was waiting. I didn't hear James' desperate, adamant protestations that Maura not proceed with the case. I didn't hear the way she roared at him to go put some damn pants on and get her family and his to the airport or else. I didn't hear the sweet words Maura spoke to Angela before the door slammed behind her and she was gone. I didn't hear Consuela's efforts to console me as she pulled a shirt over my head. I didn't speak to Arthur as he lifted me from the floor and into his arms. I didn't hear James insisting that he drive me to the airport himself while everyone else loaded into the other cars. All I knew was my pain, my terror, and my aching dread that I could lose the one I loved most.
James drove our car in silence as I wiped at my tears. My vision was blurry and my mind cloudy with grief.
"Why is she doing this to me, James?" I whispered.
James' face was pained and drawn. He sighed and shook his head.
"She's not doing anything to you Jane; she's doing this for you. We did everything we could. She's determined to solve this case, but she's determined that you don't get involved. We just have to do what she asks, we don't have a choice, and she's the boss Jane." James said sadly.
I looked out the passenger's side window. It was fully dark now, well into the evening hours. The lights of the streets flashed by as we drove. So this was it? This was how I said goodbye to the love of my life knowing I may never see her again? This is how our story ended, with Maura running off into the night straight into the darkness of the greatest threat she'd ever faced all in the name of justice for me and my family? I had told Maura to find her strength and stand up for herself, but I didn't mean this. I also told her I'd always be there to back her up...and I meant that. I would not go quietly into the night. I would not hand Maura over to the darkness. I would not flee. I would not falter. I would not leave Maura when she needed me most. I clenched my fists. I set my jaw. James pulled up to a stop light. The other cars in our caravan ahead of us cleared the light but we couldn't make it. I smiled.
"1532 Cavalier Blvd," I said softly.
James looked at me quizzically.
"What?" He asked.
"1532 Cavalier Blvd. The address of the Jiggle Hut Gentleman's club," I said in a cold distant voice.
James looked worried. He frowned.
"What are you talking about Jane?" He asked me nervously.
Before he could react I attacked him. I grabbed his collar and dug his taser from his jacket pocket and held it to his neck threateningly. James' eyes were wide and manic. He held up his arms shaking and terrified.
"What the fuck, Jane!" He said with a shaking pitiful voice.
I shook my head.
"I'm sorry James. I'm not leaving her. I don't want to hurt you but you gotta get the fuck out." I said.
I reached in James' pants pocket and pulled out his cell phone. I tucked the phone in my pocket and put the car in park. James cursed and swore at me furiously.
"You really are fucking crazy!" He raged at me.
His eyes were burning with fury. I nodded my head.
"I'm crazy about my girlfriend," I said honestly. "Get the fuck out."
James looked like he wanted to spit fire.
"Don't do this Jane," He warned me.
"If something happens to me give custody of my daughter and my nephew to Maura. If something happens to us both everything is yours. Take care of my babies. Tell them mommy and maddy died fighting. Now get the fuck out!" I said pressing the taser roughly against his skin.
James cursed and unbuttoned his seatbelt. He slid out of the car and kicked at the asphalt in a rage. I slid into the driver's seat and closed the door putting the car in drive. The light turned green. James ran after the car as far as he could until I turned the corner and sped away.
"1532 Cavalier Blvd." I repeated in my head.
I had a plan.