Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own an active and naughty imagination. Rated M for lemony goodness.
Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The original content, ideas, and intellectual property of this story are owned by PeppahLouie. Plagiarism is theft – so please no copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.
©2011 PeppahLouie . All rights reserved worldwide..

***Wild has been nominated for The Sunflower Awards! Thank you to Freakydeelite and Jennic782 for the nod!***

I see some of you were quite upset at the end of the last chapter! Tsk, tsk, tsk. Oh ye of little faith...

CHAPTER 25 – ANTIDOTE

Bella

As I awaken, my swollen eyes resist opening. I force them open to a slit and I am momentarily confused as to my whereabouts. Ah, yes... hotel room. Rubbing my eyes, I glance to the right of the bed... 11:00 am. The last time display I saw was through tear-blurred, alcohol impaired vision at 4:00 am.

In front of the clock radio, the blinking notification LED on my cell phone attracts my attention. I pick it up to investigate, expecting another voicemail or text from Alice. It is a text... from him.

Received at 10:15 am: Please call me. We need to talk -E

There are three earlier texts from him as well. I scroll back to the first.

Received at 7:14 pm: Isabella, there has been a terrible misunderstanding -E

Received at 8:38 pm: You don't know the whole story -E

Received at 12:59 am: Bella, please let me explain -E

These texts are the first direct communication he has attempted since I left yesterday afternoon. I wonder why he hasn't left a voicemail, but quickly decide it's a good thing he didn't - it would send me back into another crying jag if I heard his voice right now, and there is no way I could resist listening to his message if he had left one.

I don't know what possessed me to follow Tanya last night and check into the same hotel. The Four Seasons – it's a snazzy place. I acted on pure impulse.

Of course, I have no idea what room she's in... and the clerk wouldn't tell me. I could have pushed it, maybe bribed him. I could have checked out the restaurant or bar last night, hoping to run into her. But once I got into my room and closed the door behind me, my tenuous walls came crashing down. After I cried myself out on the bed, I looked around the room and found an eighty dollar bottle of wine that I could buy at a liquor agency store for twenty. I opened it, turned on the television and ended up watching The Notebook. I cried in spurts all through the movie and then again when it was over, finishing the entire bottle of wine and finally falling asleep wrapped around a pillow.

Thankfully, I appear to be all cried out for the moment. In fact, I'm actually feeling quite angry - angry at Edward, angry at Tanya, and angry at myself for not dealing with this situation in a more sophisticated manner. I mean, would Allie have run away crying from Noah? I don't think so. Energized by my temper, I jump in the shower. I plan to get dressed quickly and head down to cruise the hotel lounge and restaurant to see if I can find Tanya.

.~.~.~.

I spot her as soon as I enter the lounge. She's not hard to find, sitting alone at the bar with her bright strawberry blonde mane. She's over made-up and overdressed for the noon hour, sucking back a martini... somehow, I don't think it's her first.

"Excuse me? Sorry to bother you, but I actually saw you outside a restaurant yesterday evening. You seemed to be upset, and I asked if you were okay. Do you remember?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure honey. I remember."

"Um, you seemed to be really hurting. I hate to see anyone like that. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you maybe want to talk about it?"

"Why would I want to talk to a perfect stranger about my problems?"

"Well, a perfect stranger has no bias. She can just listen and let you get it off your chest, you know?"

"That's a good point. Maybe it would do me some good to say it out loud. God knows I've been thinking about it for long enough."

"It's settled then. Excuse me, bartender? Can we have two more martinis over here?" I take the stool next to her. "So, what's your name?"

"It's Tanya. Tanya Denali. What's your name, honey?"

"Oh... I'm, um, Marie. Marie Black."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Marie."

"Same here, Tanya. So tell me about this guy. Is he the love of your life?"

"Love? I don't believe in love. But he does. What a sap."

"What do you mean? I thought you said yesterday that he was the only man you ever wanted?"

"Yeah. I wanted him. I still do want him... at least I did yesterday before he kicked me out."

A flash of anger surges through me.

"I wanted him long ago because he was the best looking guy around and a fantastic lay. I had what other women dreamed about. But he was too emotional. He started to talk about feelings and the future. I didn't want any of that. I mean, he was a great fuck, but there was no way I was going to keep all my eggs in one basket. There are just too many big hard cocks out there, you know? And I like to sample the offerings. Of course, he wanted a monogamous relationship. I didn't want to lose him – he had great social connections because he's a high-profile chef, and he made me a happy girl in bed. So I had to sneak around and get my kicks, all covert-like." She snorts and takes another swig of her drink.

Ugh. "So what happened?"

"Well, one night, a food critic I was seeing on the side wanted to take me out to dinner. When we pulled up outside of Eddie's restaurant, I started to panic. That's the guy's name, Eddie, at least that's what I always called him. He goes by Edward because he likes to come off as pretentious or something. Anyway, we got to Eddie's restaurant and I was all nervous... but then, I thought it would be such a thrill to be there with another guy, right under his nose, you know? I didn't know anyone who worked there, other than Eddie. So, I went on in. I hit the wine pretty hard because I was a little jittery. Of course, the meal was excellent – Eddie really is one shit-hot good fucking chef. My date loved it and was already talking about the great review he was going to write. One of the servers came by to tell my date that the chef wanted to come out and meet him. I had to think quick, so I came up with a little diversion. I told the guy we should have some fun, then I slipped under the table and gave him a blowjob while Eddie stood there and schmoozed with him. Yeah, they had those floor-length table cloths just like in the movies, can you believe it? Anyway, I was sloppy because I was a little drunk. I got a fucking hair caught in my throat and started to hack and cough, and I accidentally bit the guy's cock. Then he's all like, 'what the fuck are you doing, you bitch' and Eddie is like 'what the fuck is going on under there?' Then he pulls up the table cloth and there sits yours truly, hooking a pube out of my throat."

Tanya's verbal dysentery is in overdrive, but it's like trying not to look at a car crash when you drive by. She drains her glass and calls over the bartender, indicating he should give us both refills. I wave him off my glass – I haven't touched my drink at all.

"That must have been embarrassing for you," I say lamely.

"Yeah, well... it was not one of the most stellar moments of my life. Eddie grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me out from under that table and out through the kitchen to the back alley. He wasn't yelling or anything – I think he was in shock. His voice was real quiet and steady, and he asked me what was going on. I was tipsy and I didn't like the way he manhandled me – it was humiliating being dragged through the restaurant like that."

I marvel at this vacuous woman who was humiliated not by being caught sucking off some loser in public, but by being pulled away from the scene of her indiscretion.

"I wasn't thinking clearly, and I wanted to humiliate him right back. So I told him that I was blowing the critic to ensure him a good review. He looked at me with such contempt that I wanted to keep hurting him. When he asked me if this was the first time, I said no, that I had granted lots of sexual favours in the past to help his reviews. Of course that wasn't even true, but I was so mad at him. His eyes were cold and he was obviously disgusted. I snapped. I mean, where did he get off thinking he was so much better than me? Nobody looks at me like that. I was pissed and I wanted him to know what a fool he was – how I had carried on a completely free sexual life right under his snooty fucking nose and he had been too stupid to realize it. So I spilled the beans. I named off at least fifteen guys I had screwed while playing perfect little girlfriend for the big fancy chef."

Tanya is slurring now. I am in shock – I can't believe anyone could have treated Edward like this. How could anyone be so callous, so... cruel?

"Do you know what that jerk did then? He fucking cried. Not like a girl or anything, but he had tears running down his face. And that just made me feel worse. He asked if it had all been a lie, and I said of course it was and wasn't I a good fucking actress? He asked me why, and I spit at him that he was a good lay and he kept a nice, fancy roof over my head. Of course, I can afford my own roof - after all, I am a successful swimsuit model." She throws her hair back over her shoulder and straightens her posture as she says that. But she can't hide the tramp... not anymore.

Something horrible (well, even more horrible than what she had already revealed) occurs to me. "Tanya, weren't you worried about, you know, disease? You might have infected Edw... err, Eddie. I mean, were you at least having safe sex?"

"Hah – that is actually quite ironic. I only ever had safe sex with Eddie. He insisted on using condoms as extra protection against pregnancy. He knew I sometimes forgot to take my pill and he didn't want the burden of children while he was building his career." She makes air quotes when she says 'career'. "Of course, we did have ripped condom issues every once in a while – he's a big boy – and I might have weakened them with my nails when he let me put them on him. I like the feeling of fucking a guy bareback, and it was the only way I could get it from him. Of course he would always stop when they broke, damn-it." She smiles and licks her lips, and I want to smack her. Hard.

Poor Edward... two years of getting tested every six months, never knowing if the next set of results might bring a death sentence.

"But Tanya, what about your own health?" I have to ask because I just can't fathom her disregard for herself.

"Yeah, well... you know what, Marie? I figure I'm here for a good time, not a long time. I mean, look at me – I'm gorgeous with a fantastic body... but what happens to me when I'm no longer a hot, young thing and my body starts to sag and my skin starts to wrinkle? No one will want me then – my marketability will be gone. So you know what? I decided that I'm not going to slowly creep up on my grave drinking protein shakes and working out... nah. I'm gonna skid in at the last second with a martini in one hand and a ciggie in the other, freshly fucked and ready party on the other side."

Wow. "So what happened after your confrontation in the alley?"

"Well, that was the end. Eddie wasted no time getting rid of me. He had the locks changed the next morning and I came home to find all my things out in the hallway. In a few months he was gone. He left Chicago."

"So, Tanya... if you have this terrible history with this guy, how did he end up being the only man you ever wanted?"

"Ha! I did say that, didn't I? Well, you know, I was thinking about him a while ago. He was such a great lay and he always took good care of me. I was hoping maybe enough time had passed that he might consider giving us another chance. I guess I wanted him because I couldn't have him."

"Wanted? Past tense?"

"Oh yeah. I found out last night that he hates me. I mean he really hates me. I'm not going to waste any more time chasing him. There are lots of great lays in the sea, right?"

"So, you didn't come to find him because you love him?"

"Love? Oh please. There is no such fucking thing. Hey, you want another drink? There are a few good-looking guys around here today. I think it's a dentists' convention. Dentists make great money, and think of all the cosmetic repair and whitening you could get for free!"

"Oh... I actually have to get going. But thanks for the drink and the conversation. It was very... enlightening. Um... good luck, Tanya." I think you're going to need it.

She is already eye-fucking some poor guy and waving me off. I throw some cash on the bar and I return to my room. I need to think about what I have just learned from Tanya, and whether or not it has any real bearing on my relationship with Edward.

.~.~.~.

I've checked out of the hotel and walking to my truck when my phone buzzes in my pocket, indicating a text message has been received. I pull it out.

Isabella? Where are you? Please, for god's sake, just let me know you're okay -E

His message brings tears to my eyes.

I'm okay, Edward. I'm on my way home -B

I spend the short drive back to my apartment plucking up the courage to do what I have to do. I hope he lets me speak first.

I pull up to the curb just a short ways from the door to the lofts. Edward is sitting outside on the fire escape, his expression hidden behind his Ray-Bans. When he sees my truck, he watches and waits for me to get out and head toward the building, then he climbs back in his window.

He meets me at the top of the stairs. He has removed his sunglasses, and the look on his face is pure pain. I have to be strong and face this.

Edward

"Bella... please, can we talk?"

"Yes Edward, we need to. I have something to say to you."

Oh no... no no no. I will not let her do this - I can't lose her. She has to believe me. I follow her inside her door.

"Bella, please let me explain."

"I'm sorry Edward, but I really must speak first."

This can't be happening... I can feel my eyes start to burn and water. I look down at the floor, gesturing with my hand to indicate she should go ahead.

She takes a deep breath. "Edward, I owe you an apology."

I can't be hearing her correctly. My eyes dart up to hers, tears be damned. "Pardon?"

"An apology." She's blinking back tears too. "I apologize for thinking the worst of you and then leaving before giving you a chance to explain. I'm so sorry I worried you last night. I gave in to my insecurity and instead of facing the issue head on with logic, I let my emotions run away and I followed them."

I'm stunned. And awed... she's more amazing than I thought possible.

"Oh, Edward... please say you forgive me!"

"Forgive you? Bella, baby, there is nothing to forgive. What you overheard me say to Tanya was horrible - of course you reacted to it. I'm so sorry you were subjected to it. She showed up here out of the blue and asked me to take her back. I sort of flipped my wig at her."

She nods, her tears escaping her eyes now and trickling down her cheeks.

Sniffling, she reaches for a tissue from a box on the counter. "The things you said to her... I was afraid that maybe she was the only one you would ever truly want and after she hurt you so badly... that you could never really let me in. But I couldn't understand why you would have been deceitful with me all this time. And then I thought about how Jake had deceived me for years about his true desires and motives. And I just didn't know what to do... I needed time to think about it all."

Alice was right... of course. The pixie's always right. "Sweetheart, I said those things in anger and frustration. I couldn't believe she actually had the nerve to show up here, and I wanted her gone. I didn't want her seeing you or meeting you or knowing anything about you. Baby, you, and what we have together, are too good and pure to be tainted by something like that. I was afraid if she knew about you, she'd try to interfere with our relationship. I don't want her anywhere near us."

"I knew it didn't make sense. But I couldn't stop thinking about all the pictures of Tanya I saw on the internet – she is just so beautiful. And then there were the pictures of you and her together, and you were such a stunning couple."

"Bella, darling, Tanya's not beautiful. She might look good on the outside, but inside she is nothing but ugly."

"Yes, I discovered that this morning. See, I followed her and checked into her hotel yesterday."

What? Shit... please tell me you didn't talk to that bitch. I keep my worry to myself – I want to hear her whole story.

"I don't know what I was thinking – I guess I was sort of acting on instinct, not really considering what I was doing. Well, after watching a heart-wrenching romantic movie and drinking a full bottle of wine last night, I woke up this morning with a hangover but, strangely enough, a much clearer head."

I pass her another tissue. "Is that when you decided to come home?"

She bites her bottom lip. "Um, no... not quite. So, after I showered, I went to find Tanya."

I open my mouth to complain, but she holds up her hand to indicate I should hold my tongue.

"I wanted to know her motivation for coming here. I guess I wanted to know if she intended to pursue you. I found her in the bar and pretended to be a stranger who was concerned because she looked so sad. I told her my name was Marie Black. I asked her if she wanted to talk about what was wrong, and she did. I'm happy to report that she doesn't love you and is not intending to make any more attempts to get you back."

"Thank the universe for small miracles. What happened next?"

"I went back to my room to get my things and check out, all the while recounting the last couple of months. I thought about us and what we've shared. I remembered father's day and the baseball game... the night Jared came for dinner... you singing to me at Escala... the sunflowers and your beautiful words; I remembered the our first date in Tacoma... sleeping in your arms after my apartment was broken into... the pool party... first time we kissed, and then the second time, and then all the times after that..."

She's blushing now, my adorable girl.

"I thought about the way we danced at Luna, and the way you touched me when we came home after Luna. And then I thought about the last few days, and how passionate we were together, especially the night before last."

Tuesday night... it was heaven.

"And I knew, Edward... I knew that whatever I had overheard you saying, it couldn't be the whole story. I realized I had to be missing something, because there was no way that my Edward would mean those things."

I can't hold it in any longer... my heart is pounding as I step forward, placing my hands lightly on her shoulders and caressing her jaw with my thumbs.

"Baby, my first and last conscious thoughts each day are of you, and you star in my dreams every night. You've settled perfectly into my life like a lost puzzle piece, completing me and making me whole. Truly, the thought of this... us... ending, of being separated from you – it causes me physical pain." I rake my one of my hands through my hair and then slide it around her waist, moving the other to gently cup her cheek. Her wide brown eyes are swallowing my soul.

"What I'm trying to say... is that I love you, Isabella. I love you so much, and I thought I'd lost you... please say you won't leave me, that you're mine, now and always." As if to seal the permanence of my declaration, I lean down to place a sweet, tender kiss on her lips.

"Oh Edward!" I catch her as she jumps up onto me, wrapping my arms tightly around her and holding her close, feeling her soft warm body, comforted by the familiar strawberry scent of her hair mixed with her natural sweetness.

She's kissing me deeply, passionately... and I am lost in the sensations of her delicious mouth on mine and the urgent clashing of our tongues. I move toward the kitchen counter and sit her there, our kiss and embrace unbroken. I want to envelop her, meld with her, consume her, never let her go.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity of kissing each other senseless, we pull apart to look into each others eyes. What I see in hers fills me with joy.

"I love you too, Edward, more than I would have thought possible. I never knew it could be like this... that I could feel so completely and utterly connected to another person. Sometimes, when I try to describe to myself how much I feel for you, my chest gets tight and it's like I could suffocate from the sheer weight of my emotion. I won't ever leave you – it would kill me to leave you. I'll always be yours, Edward... always." She pulls me back to kiss me again.

Our relationship – so intense and evolving so fast – is like an unstoppable force that feeds on itself and keeps getting stronger. We haven't even made love yet... but I know, with absolute certainty, that Isabella Swan is the woman I will be with for the rest of my life.

.~.~.~.

Much later, after work, with soft jazz playing and candles lit, we are lying on the couch face to face, simply cuddling and enjoying each other, kissing softly, whispering and giggling and planning for upcoming events - the pool party, our trip to Forks, the charity ball. When I wonder aloud how many critics will be in attendance at Aro's event, Bella suddenly sits up, pulling me with her.

"Edward... I forgot! There's something I need to tell you about Tanya."

Ugh. "Jeez, Bella... can't we let that sleeping dog lie?"

"It's not what you think, babe. This is important."

"Okay, shoot." What about her could possibly be that important?

"Edward, Tanya told me that she never actually traded sexual favours for your reviews. She said it to hurt you because she was humiliated about being dragged out from under the table at your restaurant."

My eyes feel like they're popping out of my head. "She voluntarily told you about that? Wow... she truly has no shame. Wait... what did you say about the reviews?"

Bella reaches up to cup my face, tenderly caressing my cheek with her thumb. "Sweetie, she lied about that. She was trying to hurt and humiliate you... Edward, you earned your reviews in Chicago, babe. You earned them all, because you are an amazing, talented and successful chef. You always have been."

I'm in shock. How can this be? Something I have held as fact for so long, something that I allowed to affect my self-esteem and confidence, is completely false?

"Well I'll be goddamned."

Bella

He leans forward, rests his elbows on his knees and buries his face in his hands. I figure it's best to not say anything more right now, so I simply slide my arm across his back and rest my head on his shoulder.

After what seems like an eternity, he finally speaks. "I can't believe how stupid I was to let her deconstruct my life like that."

"Try not to beat yourself up too much, Edward. When someone is in a situation, amidst all the emotion, it's difficult to see things as clearly as in outsider might. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience."

He nods and rakes his hands through his hair.

"And as horrible as it was – what Tanya did to you – I can't help but be grateful for the turn your life took as a result. Your decision to return to Seattle ultimately brought you to me... I'm sorry if that sounds selfish, but I guess I am a little selfish when it comes to how much I love you and how thankful I am to have found you."

Twisting sideways, he reaches for my face and brings my mouth to his for a gentle, lingering kiss.

"Isabella, if going through all that was the price I had to pay to ultimately find you and have you in my life, then I'm happy to have done it."

I consider the gravity of Edward's words. He's happy to have suffered if it meant finding me. Wow, that's a powerful statement. I will never doubt his feelings again.

He turns to fully face me, taking both of my hands in his.

"Looking back on everything now? I can see that you had an affect on me the first time we met and shook hands. As soon as we touched, I felt an electric kind of connection to you. I wanted to pull you to me... and then your eyes haunted me when I went back to the kitchen. On some subconscious level, I knew you were special... I knew you would eventually be mine... that you were meant to be mine. But even if I hadn't seen your eyes... Bella, if I had been blind, I'd still have known you would be mine someday."

"Oh, Edward... your words are poetry. I need to be close to you – will you stay with me tonight? Will you hold me and kiss me and help me forget last night ever happened?"

His response is immediate as he stands and scoops me up in his arms. "You look ready for bed, Miss Swan."

"Indeed, Chef Cullen. And, I think I need a little prep for what's to come, don't you?"

I giggle as Edward growls into my hair and takes the stairs to my bed two at a time.

As he sets me down, a slight nervousness settles in to my stomach. He must notice, because he leans down to kiss me softly. "I have no expectations, Bella. As far as I'm concerned, sex isn't an option right now... I'm rather looking forward to that under the full moon of a warm August night in Forks."

I smile up at him. "Um, I'm going to change into my pyjamas. Did you want to go to your loft to get yours?"

He shakes his head slowly, his sexy smirk melting my insides. "Nah, I'll sleep in my boxers... if that's okay with you?"

I nod, maybe a little to vigorously. "That's fine. I'll... err... be right back."

"Take your time, baby. I'm just going to text Alice and let her know I won't be home."

I hurriedly change into my grey, lace-trimmed tank and boy shorts jammies. I remember how Edward looked at me when I wore them for the slumber party.

Hmm... slumber party. We need to have another of those. I make a mental note to talk to Alice and Rosalie about it.

I quickly wash my face and brush my teeth, and grabbing my hairbrush, I head back to my bed and Edward.

I find him sitting up on my bed, clad only in his black boxer-briefs, his long legs crossed in front of him. He's doing something with his phone. Watching him in my dresser mirror, I tease him as I start to brush my hair. "Are you still texting Alice? What are you sending, a novel?"

"Ha ha. No, it's this damned addictive Angry Birds game. I'm stuck on a level... I just can't get that last little bastard pig to die!"

I roll my eyes at him. "Oh come on, Edward. That game is simple. It's all about angles and force, like billiards."

"Oh really, Miss Swan? And are you any good at Angry Birds, or billiards for that matter?"

"In fact, Chef Cullen, I was always very good in geometry and physics in school. One of these days I may have to teach you a lesson or two on a pool table."

His eyes darken as he tilts his head and drops his phone, his irate feathered friends forgotten. "Is that so, Miss Swan?" And in a flash he's behind me, his strong arms slinking around my waist, gazing into my reflected eyes. "I may take you up on that."

I give him a sugary smile and continue my brushing.

He continues to stand behind me, watching the brush pass through my long, straight hair. After a few moments, he murmurs huskily, "Why don't you let me do that for you?"

I hand him my brush, my body already tingling at the anticipation. He gathers my tresses and pulls them onto my back, then he smooths his hand down the length before bringing the brush to the crown of my head. Slowly but firmly, he works the brush through my hair and down my back. As he repeats the action, he watches me in the mirror, holding my stare. I shiver at his touch, his gaze, the intimacy we are sharing. It amazes me how Edward can turn the simple act of brushing hair into a sensual experience.

When he's done, he reaches around me to lay the brush on the dresser; then he gathers all my hair into one hand, pulls it to one side and twists it around his wrist, effectively tilting my head to the side. His head descends to my neck and he grazes his teeth along the tendon there, sending tremors through my entire body. As I watch him, he drags his tongue from my collarbone to my jaw and then slowly places soft, warm kisses all over my neck.

I close my eyes and moan when his other hand glides smoothly up from my hip and under my tank top to cup my breast. "Edward... you're making me crazy."

"That's the general idea, baby," he mumbles against my skin.

"I want to kiss you..." I moan as he pinches and rolls my nipple.

He pulls me backwards and turns me at the same time... as he sits on the bed, he lifts me onto his lap to straddle him. Oh, I like where this is going!

With one hand holding my hip and ass in place, he reaches up with the other hand and pulls the neckline of my top down to expose my breast. "Oh god, Edward, you're so sexy..." My hips start to writhe against his erection as he extends his tongue to circle my nipple before sucking it into his mouth.

"You need to lose this top, Isabella." His eyes are smouldering green fire as I pull the tank off. He spends a moment gazing at my breasts, his thumbs caressing my waist. "Fuck, baby... you're so beautiful." I grab his head and pull him to where I want his mouth as I grind myself on his cock. Jesus, I have no self-control with this man... but oh, the sensations!

"Bella, let's move up onto the bed so we can lie down." I crawl off him, my pussy lamenting the loss of friction, and scramble up to the pillows. He lies down to face me and pulls my hips toward him, thrusting his hard-on against my sex and squeezing my ass.

The room is filled with the sounds of our moans and heavy breathing. Eventually, Edward pushes me gently onto my back and rolls toward me so that he is half on top of me. He trails his hand from my hip to my chest, where he pauses to massage and squeeze my breasts before slowly tracing his hand downward again, and he's not stopping at my waist this time.

He pulls his face back to look me in the eyes, silently asking permission, and I answer him by pulling his mouth back to mine and bucking my pelvis up toward his hand. With a groan, his hand stays outside my shorts but slips lightly between my legs, his fingers tracing a firm line from my clit to my vagina and back again. The sensation elicits a deep-throated moan that I suddenly realize is coming from me. Involuntarily, I bend my knees and spread my legs a little to allow him easier access. He spreads his hand so his fingers are massaging around my opening while his thumb circles my clit. It feels so amazing and I can feel my muscles start to tighten as an orgasm approaches.

"Oh god, Edward, you're going to make me come..."

"That's my plan, love," he murmurs against my lips before bending down to lick and suck my nipples as his wonderful hand continues its magic between my legs.

I'm pushing my pussy against his hand now, and then I reach down to press my hand over his, adjusting his movements slightly to achieve the perfect stimulation.

"Oh jesus, Bella, I fucking love it when you show me what you like."

I clamp my legs hard around our hands and pull his head firmly to my breast. "Edwaaard! Oh, oh, oh... unghhh... OHHH FUUUCK!"

Several minutes later, I'm still squirming and squeezing my legs together. My panties are soaked through and I am lying in Edwards arms in sheer bliss.

"I can't believe I screamed like that." Biting my bottom lip, I glance up at him shyly, and he looks down at me through the corners of his eyes, grinning.

"Well you did, baby, and I'm the one who made you do it."

"Mmm... you sure did..." As I lazily trace patterns on his hard abs, I notice something else is hard, too. "Edward, I want to touch you. I want to do that for you."

"Don't worry about me, sweetheart."

"That's not fair, Edward! Do you remember what I told you before? I need you to help me learn how to pleasure you. I want to." To demonstrate my resolve, I reach down to his erection and wrap my hand around his shaft. Oh – it feels hard, but soft too – very much like the dildo on which Alice and Rose taught me how to give a blowjob. Except Edward's penis is warm, very warm... and bigger.

As I squeeze him tentatively, Edward hisses and bucks his hips up to my hand. "Christ, Bella!"

I let go immediately. "Oh no, did I hurt you?"

He chuckles as he reaches for my hand and pulls it back to his erection. "No way, baby. Your hand wrapped around me like this is one of the best things I've ever felt." He wraps his hand over mine and shows me how hard I can squeeze.

"I'm amazed that doesn't hurt," I mumble, rapt with intrigue as I watch our hands tighten around him.

"Mmm..." is the only answer I get from him. I look back to his face to find he has closed his eyes and laid his head back. I want so badly to give him an orgasm, but I don't think I'm ready to attempt a blowjob. I need to get familiar with his... cock, and maybe get a refresher from Alice and/or Rose.

"Edward? Can I see you?" That opened his eyes!

He lifts his head off the pillow to look at me, his eyes wide. Then he nods and lifts himself up on his elbow.

He reaches to the waistband of his shorts with me and lifts his hips as we both push them down to his thighs. Now my eyes are wide as I take in his length and girth and... yes, his beauty. I glance up to his eyes and he is watching me curiously. I look back to his erection and Edward groans as he settles back onto both elbows.

"What's wrong?" I ask, tearing my eyes away from his groin again.

"There's nothing wrong, Isabella," he answers huskily. "It's just a huge turn-on, you looking at me like that."

"Oh! Well, good, because I like looking at you, like that." My eyes travel back to his cock and I reach out to touch him. I stroke my fingers down and up his shaft, and he hisses again and trembles. He feels soft and smooth... like fine, warm silk.

Encouraged by his reaction, I wrap my hand around him. He moans and bucks his hips a little and I smile at the effect I'm having on him. He's leaking pre-cum, and I know it acts as a lubricant. Gently, I extend my thumb to sweep over his head, smearing the liquid around. Then I move my whole hand over the area to coat it slide back down to grasp him again.

"Christ, Bella...," he moans in a deep, raspy voice.

"I want to make you come, Edward. Teach me how to do it like this."

Rolling onto one elbow again, he reaches for my head and pulls my mouth to his. Mmm, he kisses me slowly, deeply and sensuously and his hips start to move back and forth. Then, while he's still kissing me, he wraps his hand over mine, adjusts the positioning of my fingers, and starts to move our hands up and down his cock. Each time we reach the top, he squeezes tighter and twists counterclockwise a little.

He pulls away from our kiss and we both look down to watch as our hands pump him. Then, he lets go.

"Every now and then, use your thumb to spread more pre-cum around," he whispers.

Following his instructions, I continue to stroke and squeeze him. He groans as he captures one of my nipples in his mouth and grasps my other breast with his free hand. He sucks and pinches hard and the slight pain sends tingles of pleasure through my body.

"You will make me come like this, Bella. I'm getting close..." he moans against my breast and then licks and sucks on my nipple again. His hips are thrusting now, and I realize that I am squeezing my legs together and bucking too because this is a huge turn-on for me, to know I can do this for him.

With a strangled groan, he releases my breasts and reaches down to cover my hand again while rolling onto his back. He guides our hands to focus just at the top now with our fingers pressing along a ridge and our thumbs on the opposite side.

"Jesusgod, Bella, I'm gonna come, jesusfuck, uh... uh... AHHH!" At the last second, he aims toward his stomach and I watch in fascination as spurts of white, creamy cum shoot up his torso.

Edward

I just came all over myself in front of Bella. I don't know if I should be thrilled or embarrassed.

"Edward, that was beautiful." Her eyes are wide and she looks so... happy?

Okay, I'm thrilled!

I'm just about to ask for a tissue when her brow furrows and she reaches to my stomach and tentatively touches her fingertips to some of my cum. Like she's testing the quality and consistency, she touches her fingers to her thumb, watching to see how is reacts. Then, she does something I wouldn't believe if I didn't see it. She actually brings her fingers to her face to smell it, then she extends her tongue and tastes it.

My girlfriend is taste-testing my cum.

"Huh."

That's all she's going to say?

"Um, Bella, can you please pass me a tissue before this turns into glue?"

"It turns into glue?"

"Uh, yeah. The consistency changes fairly fast as it cools down... so, a tissue would be very helpful."

"Oh, sure." She reaches behind her to the bedside table and grabs a box of Kleenex, sitting up yoga-style as she passes it to me.

As I wipe up the mess, I look at her from the corner of my eye. She's watching me so intently.

"So... 'Huh' what?"

She jumps as if startled and look up to meet my gaze.

"What?"

"You, err... tasted my uh..." I gesture to my stomach, "and then you said 'Huh.' So, 'Huh' what?"

"Oh!" Now that's a dark red blush.

I smile and shake my head. "Don't be embarrassed, Bella. Just say it."

"Um..." She throws her hands up to hide her face and says into her palms so it's muffled, "swallowingduringablowjobwon'tbeaproblem!"

Did I hear that right?

"Baby, please don't hide from me." I lean over and kiss her knuckles, gently pulling each hand down to her lap. She's biting her bottom lip and looking up at the ceiling.

"Bella, you are so damned cute. Please, sweetheart, tell me what you said." I cup her cheek and pull her bottom lip free with my thumb.

I feel the heat increase in her cheek as she looks down at her hands and whispers, "Swallowing during a blowjob won't be a problem."

My dick just did a dance of joy.

"Well, that's very..." I break off and pull her to me, kissing her in a way that I hope conveys how intensely I feel for her. She moans into my mouth and shimmies to lie against me, maneuvering her chest and hips and legs to create as much contact as possible. Of course, that only helps to speed up the hardening of my cock, which started to spring to attention again when she mentioned swallowing and a blowjob in one breath. And now, it's nestled snugly between us, the head resting against the bare skin of her belly above the waistband of her pyjama bottoms.

Bella pulls away from my mouth and looks down between us, then looks back up with raised eyebrows. "I thought guys couldn't... you know... get it up again so fast."

"I know, and I used to be like that... but this is the effect you have on me, Bella. I could masturbate three or four times a day, and if I touch you or even smell you, I, um... tend to respond." I push myself against her to accentuate the point.

Her eyes look like they'll pop out. "Really? Wow! Even at work?"

"Especially at work... ever since your first night. You always look so fucking sexy. At first, it was just fantasy. But then, after I decided to stop being an idiot and pursue a relationship with you... after I knew what it felt like to hold you, touch you, kiss you... and now to know what it's like to have you touch me... well, it's going to be interesting, to say the least."

"How do you hide it?"

"Thankfully my Chef's jacket is loose and long."

"Hmm," she flashes me an evil grin, "maybe we'll have to meet clandestinely in the office once in a while to um... help you out."

I look up at the ceiling. "And she's naughty too. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mother Nature... for designing my perfect woman and then leading me to her."

After a few moments, Bella pulls away. "I'll be right back."

"Yeah, me too actually. I'll just go downstairs and meet you back here in bed, okay?"

When I climb back up the stairs, my little buddy tucked neatly in my underwear after I whacked off again in the washroom, aided by Bella's exquisite lingering scent on my hand from where she soaked through her bottoms as I brought her to a screaming orgasm – I can't help but grin proudly about that – I find her lying in bed waiting for me.

As I lift the sheets to climb in beside her, I see that she's still bare on top.

"You didn't put your top back on?"

"No... I'd rather feel your skin." She reaches out and turns off the bedside lamp. Now the loft is barely illuminated from the streetlights shining through the living room window.

I nestle in and pull her to me, spooning around her back and burying my face in her hair. Three, two, one... my soldier is at attention again.

Bella giggles and squirms her hips against me and I groan, giving her a thrust against her ass for good measure.

"Goodnight, you evil sprite."

"Goodnight, Edward."

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, my beautiful girl."

"I love you too, Edward. Always."

A/N: DARLINGS: REVIEWS ARE MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN - PLEASE HELP SUPPORT MY HABIT :)

***Bella and Rosalie need your help in choosing Bella's dress for Aro's Haemophilia Charity Ball. Please go to the link on my profile page and look at the choices, and then cast your vote when you post a review for this chapter. I'm accepting votes via review until midnight MDT, April 18, 2011***