Now things get to where they ought to be~ its goofy and happy and downright sickeningly cute imo but thats a good thing! Or so I hope...

warning: ooc, crackiness, fluffy stuff, zazie and connor trying too hard
inspiration: ?

disclaimer: I own nothing!

Onward! I really dont like the ending but I do at the same time...

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"dinner"

Noir lowered the paper in his hands, blinking as he processed what he'd just heard. Lag's face was beet red, his shoulders drawn up as if he were reporting in to his superiors. It was a day off, a rare thing for a Bee, and the boy was dressed in a comfortable sweater and oversized pants.

Somehow, he looked a bit more groomed than usual, the man noted.

"You want to go to dinner with me...?"

Putting words to the requests seemed to intensify Lag's embarressment. "Y-Yeah. T-Theres a r-really good p-pizza place that C-Connor suggested!"

Niche glanced from her bowl of soup, blinking owlishly. "Where Connor took Sunny?"

"Y-Yeah, Niche." Lag stammered, feeling as if she'd outed him somehow.

Noir tilted his head, resisting the urge to snicker at the boy's discomfort. "Should I ask Sylvette then?"

"O-Oh um..."

Ever the helpful one, Niche piped up, "Sylvette says she's busy with orders!"

"Well then," Noir hummed, an amused grin curving his lips. "I guess that settles that."

Smiling nervously, Lag wiped his clammy hands on the inside of his sleeves. "Y-Yeah, it does."

000

The restaurant was cozy, tucked neatly between older establishments. It was charming, really, and it brought in a lot of couples on the weekends. This was not lost on Noir, ever the observant one. As they approached the building, he thought back to Lag's discarded calendar.

Was this his first date idea? How cute.

Lag gulped, heading to the door, holding it for his friend with a smile. "Y-You can choose where we sit."

"Me? But shouldnt that be the girl's choice?" Noir teased, snickering when the boy fumed.

They did find a seat, a small table by a window. Lag sighed happily, the smell of bread a heavenly scent. Noir refrained from picking on the boy, watching him fidget with the menu absently.

"W-What kind did you want? Connor said the pepperoni was really good." Lag supplied, smiling.

It was hard to tease someone so cute, Noir mused. "We can try that."

The boy seemed pleased. A waitress came to the table, a scratchy voice asking, "How can I help you?"

Lag almost dropped his menu, staring at the "woman". That chubby, definitely not a cute girl, that was definitely Connor, wasnt it!? Dressed in an ill fitting dress and apron, with a curly wig, Connor was pretending as if this was a routine thing.

Noir eyed the chubby boy, then Lag. "The pepperoni, please."

Not-a-girl Connor wrote the order down, smiling. "Anything else?"

"Lag, did you want anything else?"

The boy looked between the two, as if he were in a nightmare. "A-Ah um...j-juice..."

"Two juices then!"

Lag watched his fellow Bee waddle off to the kitchen. How did this happen...? Why did it...? Shaking his head, the boy looked to Noir, gaping. Noir smiled back, amused.

"Whats the matter?"

Did no one else see that...?

"Ah...nothing..."

Sighing, the boy cast another glance to the kitchen. That was definitely strange... But he'd just make the best of this, he decided!

Turning his attention back to Noir, he smiled and asked, "So how are things going with Dr. Thunderland Jr? Are you finding anything out?"

The man leaned back in his chair, sighing. "Not really, but its going well enough. We found a frame the other day that didnt seem to fit."

"A frame?"

Nodding, Noir began, "Yeah. Of-"

"Here are your drinks!"

Lag winced, trying not to openly stare as his friend set down the drinks. Connor stood back, clapping like a cute waitress would, smiling. "Are you two out for something special?"

What...?

"A date." Noir supplied, sipping at his juice.

Lag whipped his head around to gape at the man, face beet red. What?!

Not-a-girl Connor cooed, a sound that Lag was sure would haunt him. "Thats cute! Should I get you a shake?"

"Lag, would you like a shake?" came the amused response. That bastard wasnt even trying to hide his amused grin.

"W-Wait one second!" the boy yelped, confused and mortified. "W-What was that just now!"

Connor tutted. "Aww, he's embarrassed~ Maybe you shouldnt tease him so much."

He was going to flip the table, he swore it. What the hell was this! But, just to make sure that his not-a-date strayed even further, another familiar voiced called from the kitchen.

"Connor, get your ass back in here! The pizza is gonna burn!"

What fresh hell was this...? Was that...that couldnt possibly be...

"One minute Zazie, Lag's turning a weird shade of purple!"

000

So the dinner didnt go quite as planned. Noir, merciful for the first time that day, had escorted his friend away from the restaurant when Lag began to foam at the mouth. Lag, to put it lightly, had never been more humiliated before in his entire life.

They'd decided to take a walk instead, feeling that the fresh air might stop Lag's bawling. Noir almost felt bad. "I'm sorry...I didnt think you'd get so upset."

Lag kept his head down, kicking at a stray pebble. "Why'd they do that..."

"I suppose for moral support."

"They failed." Lag muttered, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

Noir fought the urge to snicker. "Connor said he'd give you free pizza for a week."

That was nice of him, Lag thought. He knew it must be killing his friend inside to not eat it himself. Still, Lag was going to eat it all in front of him now. And maybe even drop it when he went to offer some.

Sighing, the boy whined quietly. "That couldnt have gone worse..."

Noir hummed a bit, "I dont think so. It was a fun first date."

There was that word again. Breathing hitching, Lag paused in their walk through the park, staring up at the man. "D-Date...?"

Stopping as well, Noir turned to see the boy who he'd walked by. "Well, wasnt that what it was?"

"B-But how did you...?"

The man blinked. "In your calendar. It said you wanted to go on a pizza date."

Calendar. Calendar. Pizza...date...

"So thats why it wasnt in the sock drawer!" Lag cried, face turning beet red. "You looked through it!"

If Noir was ashamed of himself or embarrassed, he certainly didnt show it. He itched his cheek. "It was by Niche's pants. You asked me to get her a pair and I just found it." taking note of how his little friend's face was turning that shade of purple again, he continued, "But its fine, really. I thought it was...cute."

"C-Cute?"

"Isnt this the part where you ask me for the second date?" the man teased.

"I-Its not funny!" Lag sputtered, covering his face with his hands.

"Did I say it was a joke?"

Peeking between his fingers, the boy searched the man's face for any sign of teasing. The biggest difference, Lag decided, was that Noir teased mercilessly while Gauche was painfully straightforward. It was like a child with a bandaid, Noir just grabbed a thread and tugged until Lag came undone most of the time.

For once though, it didnt seem to be the case. Noir kept a steady, serious gaze on him. Swallowing, Lag felt his heart beat painfully against his ribs. "Y-You...you really want to?"

A smile tugged at the man's lips. "I really do."

Dont cry, dont cry! Sniffling the boy felt a laugh bubble up. "T-Thats really great...!"

Sighing, Noir ruffled his hair. "You cry so much."

"I-I cant help it, I'm just...really happy."

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