*Look at that another chapter. The reviews keep the chapters coming. I was going to break this up into two chapters where it splits but I decided to just keep it as one long chapter. As always please read and review.*

Chapter 25

Previously on NCIS

(Abby and Tim's House)

"Abby….I…I love you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Abby, I can't imagine my life without you. You are everything to me. Since we've gotten back together, all I can think about is you and how much I love you. I never want to be without you." Tim got up and knelt in front of her, "I truly love you. Abby, will you marry me?"

Abby felt as if she was just punched in the gut. The air was sucked from her lungs. Tears formed in her eyes as she looked at him, kneeling in front of her. The black velvet box opened in his hand. Abby brought a hand up to her mouth and closed her eyes for a moment, "I can't. I'm sorry." She pulled her hand out of Tim's and put her head in her hands.

Tim's jaw dropped to the floor. He felt as if someone had just ripped his heart out and stomped on it. How could she say no? How could she not love him? He tried to form a sentence but every time he opened his mouth to speak no words came out. Once he gathered his head together he got up from the floor and sat beside Abby on the couch. The box he put so much hope and love into sat closed in the palm of his hand. Even in their close proximity, he felt as though he was farther away from her than he had ever been before.

"Why?" He asked quietly. There had to be a reason.

"I just can't." She shook her head. She couldn't tell him it was because she was afraid. She couldn't tell him that forever is an unrealistic commitment.

"You just can't?" He asked, getting angry with her, "That is your reason? I propose to you and you said 'no' because you just can't?" He stood up from the couch and began pacing, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you! And I thought you wanted to spend the rest of yours with me." McGee took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself, "If you didn't want me forever then what the hell are we doing?"

"I can't do forever." She said almost too quietly to be heard.

"What the hell does that mean?" He asked, "Abby we've been talking about having kids and a family and now you tell me 'you can't do forever'?" He took a deep breath, "You know what? I need to be alone right now. I need to think and I can't do that here." He placed the box on the coffee table in front of the couch, pulled his sneakers on and gently shut the front door behind him. Abby sat there staring at the door after he left. She had just ruined the best thing that had ever happened to her.

After a while she realized that the music had stopped and the candles had burnt out. She tried to occupy herself with meaningless tasks but couldn't bring herself to get motivated for to long. She lay on the couch, clutching Bert with Jethro on the floor beside her. Every now and then she would reach down and rub his head. Why couldn't' she just say yes? All the Hallmark cards and sappy movies would have told her to say 'yes'. She did love him, but was she ready for forever? How could she be ready to have a child with him but not ready to marry him? She didn't deserve him. He deserved someone who could carry his child, and wanted to be Mrs. McGee. Not someone who can't bear children and who can't commit to marriage. Maybe she should just pack up and leave. An impatient knock at the door tore her from her thoughts. She knew that knock and if she didn't answer it the person on the other end would just knock the whole door down.

"Hey." She said with a fake smile plastered on her face.

"Oh Abby." Ziva said pulling her friend into a hug, "He is OK. He is with Tony." Ziva said reading the unspoken question in her friend's eyes.

"Good." Abby said solemnly. She made her way back to the couch and sat down. Ziva took a spot on the opposite end of the couch.

"Are you going to tell me about it?" She asked.

"There's nothing to tell. He proposed, beautifully, and I said 'no'. I said I can't do it." Abby said.

"You love McGee, correct?" Ziva asked.

"Of course I do!" Abby said sharply.

"You want to be with him forever?"

"I can't do forever." She whispered, her heart shattering with every word she said.

"Why not?" Ziva was determined to get to the bottom of this.

"I can't promise forever." Abby put her head in her hands, "Something will happen. We will fight and divorce, or he will wake up and realize that I'm not what he wants and what he really wants is a woman who can have his biological child and who his parents approve of and that's not me."

"You and McGee fight all of the time! Most of the time about trivial things that have no real substance." She said.

"I know but what if we fight about something really big? Or what if it's that last little fight that puts us over the top? What then?" Abby asked. She hated being this insecure but the thought of marrying someone, promising to spend the rest of your life with only one person had her scared out of her skin.

"You are going to fight with each other. No one can be perfect." Ziva said encouragingly.

"What if he wakes up and realizes that I'm not what he really wants. I'm not the type of person he wants to be the mother of his child. That he wants someone who can carry his child. What then?" Abby bit her tongue in order to stop herself.

"Do you doubt him that much?" Ziva asked, "I have seen the women he dates when not dating you. He always tells Tony about the same thing when he breaks up with them. He tells him that the other women didn't match up to you. He tells Tony that they were too boring and stuck up. They were not a free soul like you."

"Spirit." Abby corrected automatically, "Free spirit." She closed her eyes as she listened to Ziva continue to speak.

"You know for a fact that he loves you. That he is willing to adopt a child or use a surrogate to have a biological child. So your point is null and void. There is no future day that he will wake up and want something different because, in his words, he already has perfection." Ziva smiled.

"He said that?" Abby asked, not believing it for a moment.

"Yes. He also said that the only person he ever wanted to have a child with would be you because of the way you are with little children. You love them. He knows that once you two have a child, biological or not, you will accept he or she for who they are and not try to mold them into something you think they should be." Ziva said.

"What if he leaves?" Abby asked her voice shaking slightly.

Ziva sat pondering what Abby said for a moment, "Are we talking about 'what if he leaves during a fight' like now? Or are we talking 'leaving forever'? Because that is two very different scenarios."

"Both I guess." Abby breathed softly.

"Abby." Ziva grasped her friend's hand, "He left tonight because he was angry and he didn't want to say something he didn't mean. He left tonight because it hurt when you said 'no'. He will come home. He didn't go out drinking or go to a stripper club. He didn't go out and sleep with an old girlfriend or prostitute. He came over to Tony's. He told him that he needed talk and he asked me to come over here so you weren't alone. McGee didn't want you to be alone. But he knew that if he stayed he might say something that hurt you and that is the last thing that he would ever want to do to you." Ziva explained, "He cares so much for you that even in the middle of a fight he is thinking about your well being."

"I can't do forever." Abby repeated. Ziva sat quietly waiting for Abby to finish her thought, "He could die. It's likely that he will at least get hurt in the line of duty. Kate died, Tony's car was blown up, Gibbs was blasted ten years in the past, you were almost hurt when you went undercover, and when you and Tony went together you both got bruised up and hurt. Timmy was taken hostage at the prison and was almost shot in the head when Kate died. He was almost shot again when you guys went to take down that arms dealer and the guy got a shot off and it hit his com-link. A few inches over and it would have killed him. His shoulder has been dislocated because of a marine jacked up on steroids. What next? I don't think I could live if I married him and he died."

"Could you live if you were not married to him?" Ziva asked, "If he was in a car crash on his way home tonight and he died; do you think you could live? What about when he was almost shot. What if that guy had gotten just a few inches closer and the bullet hit McGee in the head and not the com-link? Could you live? Would it hurt less that he died as your boyfriend rather than your husband? Would you regret not marrying him or would you remember doing something that made the two of you even happier together?" Abby opened and closed her mouth but no words came out, "That is what I thought. It would hurt just as much. You would still want to die to be with him, just as much."

"I'm just so scared." Abby confessed.

"I know. But he has never let you down before has he?"

"No." Abby picked up the box from the coffee table.

"Then why would he start now?" Ziva asked.

"I don't want to be rushed." Abby opened the box, examining the ring for the first time. It was a simple platinum band. Atop it sat a one carat heart shaped diamond. It was simple and plain, yet beautiful and elegant.

"Has he ever pressured you to do something that you do not wish to do?"

"Never." Abby slipped the ring on her finger, trying to see how she felt about wearing it.

"Then why would this be any different?" Ziva pulled her cell phone out of her pocket once she felt it vibrate 'Tony' flashed on her caller ID, "The ring looks gorgeous on you. Just give it some thought." She smiled. She got up from her position next to Abby, "I am going to get back to Tony's. Everything will work out. Just talk to him." She bent down and hugged Abby, "Shalom."

"Bye." Abby said not moving her eyes away from her hand. Maybe if she stared long enough she could peek into the future to see what she would be like as Mrs. Timothy McGee.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Abby and Tim's House (Later that night)

Tim stepped into the darkened house. The candles were put away and the music was off. It was eerily quiet. Jethro lay at the bottom of the stairs as if he was waiting for McGee to come home before falling asleep himself. With a murmur to him, Tim stepped over the brute animal and ascended the stairs. He looked over at his bedroom. The door was open a crack but the lights were off and no sound or movement was coming from the room. For a fleeting moment he thought she had left. Quietly he peaked in and saw her lying in bed asleep. Her hair was a mess, and she was hugging his pillow. He could swear he saw fear on her face as she slept. Deciding to let her rest for a few moments he walked into his study. He sat down at his writing desk and only then did he notice the note she had left for him. He could feel his heart start beating harder and faster, he could hear it pounding in his ears. What had she written him? Was this a goodbye letter? Was she breaking it off with him? Was she mad that he left for a few hours to blow off some steam? All of his worst fears played over and over in his head as he opened the letter,

Timmy,

I figured when you came home you weren't coming straight to bed. You always need a clear head to sleep. I figured this is the best place to leave this for you.

I'm sorry I said no. It's not because I don't love you. I do. I love you with all my heart. You are my best friend and the only one I can ever truly count on. There is no one that could ever replace you or that could be the equivalent of you in my eyes.

I'm scared. I'm scared that we will fight too much. I'm scared that you will change your mind and realize I'm not what your really want. I'm scared that you will want me to be something I'm not. I'm scared because I know you could really hurt me. I don't think you ever would, but you could. I'm scared that you will leave me. And not just when we are angry and you go to Tony's to stop yourself from putting your foot in your mouth. I'm scared that one day, I'll get a phone call from Gibbs or Tony or Ziva and they tell me that I have to get to Bethesda because something happened and I lose you forever. I don't know if I could handle that.

I don't know if I could handle that loss. I do know that married or not I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you. You are the only person that knows everything about me. And I'm so scared that if we get married and commit to forever and I lose you, what will I do with the rest of forever?

I don't want to be alone and I know there is a good possibility that I will end up alone. That something will happen to you. You've almost been shot in the head twice, you've been chloroformed, had your shoulder dislocated, and you've been held captive in a women's prison. Tony and Gibbs have both been blown up. What if it's you next? How am I going to sleep at night knowing that you are up in autopsy and I have to examine everything? I said I can't do forever because I don't know what I'd do with the rest of forever if I lost you.

I love you,

~Abby

Tim let go of the breath he didn't realize he was holding. So Abby said no because she's scared that if he dies after he promises forever that she will be alone for the rest of 'ever'. He skimmed the letter one more time before getting up from his chair and heading to his bedroom. He tiptoed his way around his room, grabbing a pair of sweats to throw on for bed and a t-shirt. He slid in bed beside Abby. Carefully he pried his pillow away from her. That was when he noticed a small glint on her hand in the moonlight. She was wearing the ring. She stirred slightly and cracked her eyes open.

"Timmy." She breathed.

"Yea Abs. I'm home." He pulled her into his arms. She buried her face into his neck breathing him in.

"I'm sorry." They said at the same time. They pulled apart slightly and smiled at each other.

"Let me." Tim pleaded softly. Abby nodded her head to urge him on, "I'm sorry I left. I just…uh…I just didn't want to say anything that would hurt you. Escape was the only thing I could think of to do at the moment. I am so sorry if I hurt you." He kissed her head softly.

"You came home." Abby stated, "Just don't do it again. I don't like the thought of you just walking away when we are fighting because it makes it that much easier to walk away when we are really fighting. I don't want to be afraid that one day you might walk away from a fight and never come back." She clung to him as if he would disappear any moment.

"It won't happen again. Ever." He said accentuating every word.

"Good." She flashed a small smile up at him.

Tim took her left hand in his and brought it slowly up to his mouth giving it a gentle kiss, "There is no one that I would want to wear this ring other than you. I love you. I love every part of you. From your tattoos to your pigtails to your Caf-Pow! addiction to the way you make me feel when I'm with you. All I want is you in my life. I wake up everyday thankful that you are still here with me. I'm elated to know that you, the gorgeous eccentric Goth, want me, the computer geek." He kissed her cheek gently, "I will never want someone other than you. I'm so sorry that I hurt you today. I can't promise that I won't ever say something intensive again or that we won't fight ever again because I will and we will. We fight all the time but all that matters is that you and I work it out and we talk about it and we solve the problem instead of letting it sit and fester. I do promise that I will never intentionally hurt you. I could never deliberately say something hurtful to you and I'd rather cut off my own hands with Typhoid Mary's straight razor than ever physically harm you. We fight over stupid trivial things and big important things but we always come back to each other." He cupped her face in his hand and brought her lips to his, "And when I die, I don't want you to regret our relationship. I want you to be able to move on with you life. If something happens to me, you will not be alone. You will have Gibbs, Tony, Ziva, Jenny, Ducky, Palmer, even Sarah to be with you. Hopefully by then we will have a few kids and a few grandkids, so you could still see me through them. Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for a little while. I'll see you again someday and I'll always be in your heart and memories. I will never leave you. I will always be here. Nothing can change that. You will never truly lose me because I love you too much to let you go." He rubbed his thumb over the diamond, "You will never be alone. I promise. When I die, I want to know that I was able to love you for as long as I could. I don't want to regret all the missed moments in life. If you let go I'll be there to make sure you don't fall. I will be here. Always." He raised her left hand once again and slipped the ring off, "I love you. I always have loved you and I always will love you. Abby, will you marry me? Will you be my wife?" He asked. He had poured his soul out for her. Hoping, praying that his words let her feel the full force of his feelings for her. He tried to comfort her fear of being left alone but wasn't sure how she would respond.

"Oh Tim." Abby sighed. She had remained quiet during the whole time he was talking, not knowing what he would say next threw her for a loop and she couldn't even comment as he was speaking. Now with a smile on his face and hope flickering in his eyes she had to decide, "Yes." It was all she could say before his lips crashed onto hers. She smiled against his lips as she felt the cool metal slid down her finger, "I love you." She said when they finally came up for air.

"I love you." He placed another small kiss on her lips. He leaned back against the headboards holding Abby against his side.

"I love this ring." She turned and looked at him, "How long?" She asked knowing he probably had it for a while but just didn't know when the right time was.

"Since Gibbs and I came back from L.A." He smiled.

"And you waited this long?!" She asked surprised that it took him this long to ask her. He was about to retort that they had other things going on and it wasn't the right time when her cell phone lit up. '1 new message' displayed across her screen.

'So what happened? –Ziva' Abby flipped her phone sideways to text her back. She shot a look at Tim who kissed her cheek and said "I suppose I'll make myself useful." He stood up from the bed, "Chunky Monkey or Half Baked?"

"Surprise me." She called out to him as she preceded to text Ziva (and probably Tony) back about the details of the night.