Chapter 25: Apologies

"Toronto?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, there's a university there that wants me! Dad, aren't you excited for me?" I asked. "Their completely paying for the school part and where I live and everything. It's completely free on a scholarship."

"But, Toronto? That's really far away, Bells." He said. "Don't you want to stay here, in Forks?"

"Mom said the same thing to me when I was considering moving in with you." I pointed out. "I think it will be healthy for me to go, they want me there soon. I think it'll be good for me to experience more than one city…I want to experience as much as possible. Please, Dad, if I don't answer them soon they'll give the scholarship to someone else." The last part was completely a lie, but I needed something to help convince Charlie…well the whole thing other than Toronto was a complete lie, but that didn't really matter. "Please, Dad, they're pretty much guaranteeing me a job if I go, they want me to come soon to get a feel for the school and everything. I've already taken all the prerequisite courses needed to go. Dad, please, this would literally make my life."

He sighed. "Well, you're eighteen and can make your own decisions now. I do wish that you would stay here until graduation, but I can't keep you here. It's your own decision, and I can't really tell you what to do. If you weren't an adult, than I wouldn't let you go, but I can tell how much you want this."

I grinned and hugged him. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, Bells, just promise you'll keep in touch?" he asked.

"I promise." I said. I went up to my room, and called Carlisle. "Guess what!" I said into the phone.

"What?" he asked.

"Charlie said yes!" I squealed. "I told him that they'd give the scholarship to someone else if he didn't let me go! He said yes, Carlisle!"

"That's great!" Carlisle said, I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'll be leaving tomorrow night, and I think your plane ticket is scheduled for two weeks from now."

"Two weeks?" I whispered. Two weeks without Carlisle. Two fucking weeks.

"I know it's long, but it's what's best to make sure no one is suspicious. I would rather be more cautious, and make you come about a month later, but I'm pretty sure you would start showing more by then, and we can't risk that. I know it'll be hard to wait for two weeks, but it has to be done. It'll be much less suspicious that way. I'm sure a lot of people will have their suspicions anyway, but the only people who know that I'm going are you and my family. I told Alice, Emmett and Edward to keep it quiet and not let a lot of people know. Of course, Alice knows the real reason as to why I'm going, but none of the others do."

I sighed. Two weeks away from Carlisle would drive me insane, but I knew that it made sense what he was saying and what was happening. I completely understood why we had to wait two weeks to see each other again in Toronto, but that didn't make me any happier.

"Alright." I said quietly. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." He said. "But it will be much better once we're both here, just think about that to get you through the two weeks…I know I will be."

I smiled. "Two weeks."

"Two weeks." He confirmed. "Oh and Bella?"

"Yes?" I said.

"I love you."

My breath caught in my throat and my heart fluttered. This was the first time he had told me that he loved me.

"I love you too." I whispered.

"Two weeks." He said with a sigh.

"Two weeks." I said.

"Have a good night, Bella." He said.

"Good night, Carlisle." I said before ending the call.

I flopped onto my bed, smiling. Carlisle had told me that he loved me. It made my heart flutter to think about him on its own, now that he had said those three little words, my heart was sent racing at just the thought of him. I sighed quietly, thinking about the next two weeks ahead of me.

In those two weeks, I wanted to clear everything up with Alice. I wanted everything to be good with us before I left. I would also have to tell Jacob what was happening…I was trying to put that off for as long as possible. Him and I had a strained relationship as it is, what would he do when he found out I was leaving? Probably forever.

I knew that I would probably never be able to return to Forks. If I came back, how would I explain everything? As long as no one from Forks saw me over the next nine months…except for Alice that is, then I'd be fine. But how could I honestly just drop everything immediately and go? I knew that it was necessary, but was I strong enough to drop everything immediately?

I fell asleep easily, which was surprising seeing as my mind was so full of shit about my life. When I woke up I just wanted to go back to sleep. I closed my eyes and pulled my blanket back up over my head, not wanting to go throw up into the toilet yet…which was sure to happen soon.

I sighed quietly, and felt my phone vibrate. My stomach lurched and my eyes flew open. I hadn't gotten a text from this person in days; I had hoped that they would stop.

Going somewhere, Bella? Not before you say bye to Jake and make everything right with Alice!

What in the actual fuck?

Well, at least now I knew that I needed to clear everything up with Jacob and Alice…but how was I going to do that?

"Shit." I whispered.

I only had two weeks to say goodbye to everyone and make things right with Alice. I needed her to know that I was completely sorry about everything that happened between us, and that I just wanted her to forgive me.

I mean, how could my baby grow up without its amazing big sister Alice?

I sighed quietly. I was sure that Jake would be the easier person to deal with. Alice would be much more difficult to try and talk to.

I sent a text to Jake, asking if I could come over, and his reply came almost instantly, telling me to come right over. I hopped off my bed, and went downstairs and out the front door. Charlie was dozing on the couch, so I didn't bother waking him just to tell him that I was going out. He would probably just end up getting irritated with me…well, only for a little bit, until he found out where I was going and who I was going to be seeing.

I got into the car that Carlisle had got for me, and carefully drove to Jake's house. I still wasn't used to this car, and I doubted that I ever would get used to it.

I pulled into Jake's driveway, slightly nervous. I never knew what would happen when I came for a visit to Jake's. I was never sure what state of mind I would leave in…whether I'd be pissed or confused or happy, it was always a mystery. Every single time I came here, something happened. I pushed the memories of my last few visits out of my head.

You are saying goodbye to him, knowing Jake he'll just get mad again, nothing else can happen between you. You almost fucked him last time you were here.

I sat in the car for a few moments, staring at the house. I doubted Billy was home, and I was pretty sure that Jake would think that I had come over to fuck him or something. I sighed and pulled my hood up over my head and got out of my car. I jogged to Jake's front door and knocked.

And I waited.

And waited.

And then, waited some more.

I banged on his door again and waited another two minutes before he opened it.

"What took you so long?" I asked in annoyance before stepping into his house. "It's pouring rain!"

"Sorry Bells, I didn't hear you knock." He said. "I was in the shower." He motioned to his dripping wet hair.

"It's fine." I said, taking my hood off, and going into his living room.

"So what do I owe this visit to?" he asked. "Decided to give me another shot?" he said that last part with a cocky smile.

"No." I said. "Not at all." I took a deep breath before continuing. "Jake, I'm leaving."

His expression changed instantly from joking around to dead serious.

"Leaving?" he asked. "Leaving to where?"

"Toronto." I said. "There's a university there that wants me. They've offered me a full scholarship, I don't really have to pay for anything, and they're practically guaranteeing me a job if I go. Isn't that amazing?"

"But, Toronto?" he asked. "That's pretty far away."

"I know, but this is my future, Jake." I said. "I've already said yes…I just came over to tell you."

"When do you go?" he asked, sitting down.

"In two weeks." I said.

"Two weeks?" he demanded. "You're leaving Forks in two fucking weeks? Why didn't you tell me before now? What the fuck, Bella?"

"Jake, can you calm down?" I asked. "I just found out last night. They contacted me last night to tell me that I had been accepted. I only asked Charlie last night after they contacted me. You know that I'll keep in contact, but I have to take this. It's my future. We can Skype as often as you want."

He sighed, I knew that he was upset with this, but I didn't care. He could be as upset with me as he wanted, it wouldn't change the fact that I was still going. I had to go to be with Carlisle to raise our baby together. Our baby was more important than just having Jake upset with me over not telling him that I was leaving sooner.

He pulled me into his arms in a hug. "I'm gonna miss you, Bells."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Jake." I said softly. "I'm gonna miss pretty much everyone here, but it's a sacrifice I'm definitely willing to make."

"Will you ever come back?" he asked.

"I hope to." I said truthfully. "But I don't know how busy I'm going to be with school and stuff."

"Come visit me again before you leave?" he asked.

"Of course." I said. "Of course I'll come visit you, Jake. How could I not?"

He smiled. "I had to make sure."

After that, our conversation turned light. After a while I left, and decided to go to the Cullen house. The sooner I went to talk to Alice the better. I had to make things right with her, and I wanted it to happen before I left. Well, I needed it to happen before I left, but that's beside the point. I wanted to make things better with her so that I could spend a lot of time with her before I went to Toronto. I was pretty much abandoning everybody, so I wanted to spend time with all the people I loved for as much time as I could. I sighed as I pulled into the long winding driveway. I knew that this would be difficult to do, and I doubted that Alice would be cooperative with me. I had to sit her down and talk to her.

As I got to the end of the driveway, I got out of my car. The garage was closed, so I wasn't going to even bother trying to cut through there and into the house. I took a deep breath and went to the front door. I had to think long and hard before knocking. I didn't know if Alice would see that it was me and just slam the door in my face, or if she would actually let me in to talk to her.

I had to make everything right with her before it was too late. I couldn't leave Forks without knowing whether or not she hated me. Even if she did hate me, at least I knew that I had tried. That's really all that counted, right?

I knocked on the door and waited. While I waited, I bit my lip in anticipation.

A few moments later, Alice opened the door. She glared at me once before going to slam the door, but I stuck my foot in the doorway, to stop it from slamming shut.

"He isn't here." she said, not opening the door any more. "He went to work to finish off some final paperwork before he leaves the country…for you. I'd check the hospital if I were you." I ignored the venom in her voice and tried to talk to her.

"I'm not here for him." I said. "I'm here to talk to you, Ali. Please, I can't do this anymore. Can we please talk?"

It took her a few moments to say anything to me. I stood there, with my foot in the door, waiting for her to answer me. I needed to talk to her. I couldn't go on with this.

"What?" she demanded, still not opening the door. I would've preferred to actually go inside and sit her down and talk to her, but this would have to do.

"Alice, I'm so sorry for what happened." I said. "I was an idiot, and didn't tell you the whole story…I realize now that you would've just played along with it for me if I had told you, but I was afraid that the person would know…I was afraid that they wouldn't think what I had done was good enough…which it ended up not being good enough anyway. And that picture of Jacob and I? That was nothing…him and I…we aren't together. That was just…I don't even know, it was in the heat of the moment, and it was fucking stupid of me. Can you please forgive me Ali? I don't want my baby growing up without you."

I heard her sigh, but she cracked open the door a teeny bit and she peeked out at me.

"There's nothing go on between you and Jacob?" she asked.

"Nothing." I said. "We're only friends."

"Good…because if you hurt my dad like that…I don't think I could ever forgive you, Bella."

"Alice, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did that to him." I said. "Can we please be friends again? Please?"

She opened the door all the way. "I forgive you."

I grinned and hugged her. "Thank you Ali, thank you so much."

"You can come in if you want." She said, moving out of the way. I stepped into the house, and looked at her. She was wearing a baggy gym shirt from school, pyjama pants, and not a touch of make-up on her face. She looked really tired and not like the usual glamorous Alice.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah…why do you ask?" she responded, and gave me a look that told me not to ask any more questions about it. She wanted me to let it go. "I just woke up."

"No reason." I said. There was something deeper than just the fact that she had just woken up, which I knew was a lie. Alice never slept after noon. And it was two o'clock in the afternoon. No matter how late Alice would have stayed up the night before, she would never sleep past noon.

"Do you want anything to eat?" she asked, making her way into the kitchen as I followed behind her.

"No thanks." I said.

She turned. "Are you sure? Have you eaten today?"

I hesitated. Had I eaten today?

"Bells, you haven't eaten?" she asked. "That's not good for you or the baby. Sit."

I sat down at the kitchen table. How had I forgotten to eat today? I guess it had been because I was so preoccupied with leaving the house to fix things with Jacob and Alice that it slipped my mind. I was pretty upset with myself that I hadn't eaten anything, even more upset that it hadn't registered in my brain that I was hungry.

"So what's been going on with you?" I asked Alice.

"Nothing really." She said with a shrug. "Been helping my dad pack up his stuff…are you all packed and ready to go?"

I bit my lip. "Not really." I hadn't started anything at all to go. Hadn't even gone through the stuff that I wanted to get rid of or keep and bring with me.

"Not really means that you haven't done anything at all, right?" she said with a smile, turning back to look at me again. "Don't worry, I'll help you pack."

"Thanks." I said.

After that, we gossiped. It was so nice talking to her again…I didn't ever want to have a fight this serious with her again. I knew how bad it would be for both of us to have to go through that again.

But, there was something that was still bothering me. The fact that she had told me she had just woken up, when I obviously knew her better than that. I would have to watch her more closely from now on to make sure that she actually was okay; I mean maybe I was just being paranoid, but I highly doubted it. I knew that she wasn't okay, and I wanted to know why. Had something happened between her and Jasper again? Was it because she had lost her baby? Or simply just because we hadn't been talking?

Okay, I doubted it was that last one, but it was making me feel better thinking that it was just that and nothing more.

As I went out to my car, after saying bye to Alice, Carlisle was pulling into the driveway. My heart seemed to skip a few beats as I saw his car pulling up. This would be the last time I saw him for two weeks…I had to make it count.