25

Ignoring the people who milled the hallway around her, Shay hesitated briefly before pushing open the door to Kane's room. She closed it behind her, looking around. His bag was on the floor. Of the man himself there was no sign. The shower was running. Sighing, Shay went to a bench and sank down on it to wait. She closed her eyes, listening to the water run, wanting to just go on in there and join him.

She hated herself for that. He'd treated her like shit and here she was, still lusting after him like some starry eyed groupie. She couldn't do this anymore. Whether he wanted her around her not, he was going to have to face the fact that they were bound together in a way that he could not destroy.

The water cut off, and Shay opened her eyes, watching the doorway. Kane stepped into the locker room, eyes briefly resting on her. He had a towel wrapped around his waist. If he was surprised to see her, he did not show it. She almost envied him that. It wasn't so long ago he was scaring the hell out of her when she'd come out of her own shower.

He picked up his bag and propped it on the bench, pulling items out. Shay watched him for a moment, unsure of where to start.

"Um…we need to have a talk." She finally forced herself to speak.

Kane's eyes met hers briefly. Shay bit her lip at what she saw there. There was no way he could constantly fake that hurt, that wanting. No matter what he said.

Kane sat down on the bench, refusing to look at her. Shay stood and paced the room, nervously rubbing her hands together.

"Something…happened. You have to be ready to hear it." This was going to be even harder than she thought. She decided to just spit it out. "Kane…I'm pregnant."

Kane's head came up slowly. He stared at her, eyes wide. Before he could speak, Shay went on.

"Bischoff overhead a conversation I was having and he confronted me about it. He said he was going to tell you on TV tonight, to use it to get you angry," she took a deep breath. She was aware of his eyes on her but she didn't return the look. She was afraid of what she'd see there. "I told him no, not to do it, but…I have no control over what this place uses for their entertainment."

She stopped pacing, standing a few feet away from him, finally looking at him. He looked completely thunderstruck.

"Shay…" He managed to speak her name but seemed to lose track of his thoughts.

"I know I shouldn't just spring this on you. I wanted to wait and think of a way to tell you when I was more used to the idea of it. But I wanted you to hear it from me. Not from Bisch or Shane. Not on TV."

When he didn't respond, she looked down at the floor. "I know you don't feel anything for me. I don't expect anything from you concerning this child. But you have a right to know. I'm not going to do something stupid. I'm going to have this baby."

She stood silent in front of him waiting. Shay closed her eyes, ticking off the minutes in her head. He didn't care. Wasn't that what his silence meant?

Shay felt his hands touch her, grabbing her waist and pulling her forward. She uttered a yelp, startled, but went to him willingly enough. She opened her eyes, watching as he unbuttoned the bottom of her shirt. Then her jeans. When her stomach was laid bare, he gently ran a hand over it, caressing her. She had to fight to keep from making any sound.

Kane leaned forward and brushed his lips across the skin just under her belly button. Shay's eyes filled with tears. Oh God, that gentleness thing again. She knew she was just setting herself up again, knew it, but was powerless against what she felt for this man.

"Do you…" Kane stopped and cleared his throat. "Is keeping the baby what you want? What you really want?"

She surprised herself. "What I really want is you…" She heard his sharp intake of breath. "This baby is a part of you. Of us. You said you felt nothing for me. Or…with me. But I have this baby now, that's got to mean something." She sniffled, wiping away tears. He'd resumed his slow, gentle stroking of her stomach with his fingers. "I know that you think you can't…love…but I can. I can and I am going to love this little one with everything that I have."

Kane pressed his forehead against her stomach, taking a deep breath. "I was so wrong." It was barely a whisper. Shay had to strain to hear him. "You were right. I am a coward. How can I expect you to believe me now? After the way I treated you…" he sighed, his breath sending a shiver down her back. "I don't know what to do to make it better."

"I don't know if you can," Shay said sadly. She raised a hand and stroked the back of his head. "I didn't mean it."

"Mean what?" He muttered against her stomach.

"When I said that I…that I hate you. I didn't mean it."

Kane closed his eyes and made a soft noise low in his throat. Shay cupped his face in her hands, gently urging him to look up at her. "I love you," she looked directly into his eyes when she said it. Watched the confusion on his face, the hurt, the disbelief.

"Shay…"

"No. You listen to me. I love you," She traced her fingers down his cheek. "You have a show to do in fifteen minutes. I know you can't…or won't…admit that you feel anything for me. Nor do I want to hear it right now." She saw him frown in confusion. "Come to my room after the show. If you want me, if you feel anything for me, if you want to make it better, you come to my room and you show me, damn it. No more games. No more hiding. If you don't come then…" She took a shaky breath. "Then I'll know you don't feel anything for me. I'll take my leave and I'll have this baby, and we can just get on with our lives."

She didn't wait for his answer. She stepped away from him, buttoning her shirt and jeans, missing the contact already but ignoring the feeling. She gave him one last look, then turned and left the locker room.

This was it, his last chance to open up to her. Shay knew that after tonight, one way or another, they would both find closure. She only hoped she was doing the right thing. She could only be setting herself up to be hurt again. But not knowing was what was killing her. Kane would have to either admit that he had feelings for her or live his life a lonely man. Either way it would soon be over.