I know that it's been more than a week, but hey, it was shorter than 1 and a half months, wasn't it? :D I'll try to hurry up with the next one though...

This chapter if from Severus' angle and I'd like to think that I didn't make him too OOC. There are some thoughts from him that aren't explained, but they are not forgotten, they just fit into another chapter better :P

Have fun reading!

Disclaimer: HP is still not mine...

In the last twenty-five years Severus was entrusted with many secrets. There were petty ones amongst them, like when a student told him that he/she was madly in love with another imbecile and asked for his guidance, and although he never really cared about the personal lives of his pupils he gave them advice when they were desperate enough to go to him. After all, a Slytherin who was infatuated with a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff was really in need of some help. And then there was the confidential information he had to keep to himself during the war and protect even if it cost him his life. He had secrets of his own, buried under solid Occlumency shields, never to be spoken about, never to be revealed to anyone. But as he sat there, listening to the drunken ramblings of Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age, he felt a sense of self-importance he hadn't experienced in a long time.

As she told him about the raid and her doubts, about her depressing thoughts of being responsible for events she had no way to influence he was perplexed by her obvious trust in him. She opened up so easily, shared a part of her with him that made her feel vulnerable – her slumped shoulders and the constant biting of her lips were good indicators of that – without a single reservation, as if it was perfectly natural to her. And though the topic was not a cheerful one the Potions Master was happier than he remembered being in Merlin knows how many years, his self-loathing notably abating. After the war he never dared to believe that someone other than Lucius and Draco would see anything in him that would make him worthy of any semblance of trust whatsoever. Coming from her the notion was so overwhelming, astounding and exciting at the same time that he suddenly had a lump in his throat and he had to make a serious effort to react to what she revealed to him in a suitable manner.

That is, if one could call his little speech suitable. But there was no taking it back and to be frank he wouldn't change it even if he could because his words seemed to have a positive effect on the brunette. Being an amateur – at best – when it came to comforting others he felt pretty smug about her compliment. If he was better than Draco in cheering her up then maybe he was not a lost case when it came to having a friendship with an emotional, open-hearted woman.

Make no mistake, he knew very well that she was inebriated and that normally she wouldn't have gone all melancholic and teary-eyed over the fate of those women, after all, she was a damn good auror who knew how to stay detached and professional, but at least now he knew that he was adequate when he had to deal with her under these circumstances.

Now all he wanted to know was if she'd remain this trusting after she sobered up or if she'd go back to being her friendly, but more guarded self. In a way he wished she would continue to let him in. A little voice in his head, however, thought that it would be better if everything went back to the way it used to be in the morning.

One thing was sure, though. He had much information to mull over already and she didn't even finish her story yet. Maybe it was time to refocus on her. Pushing his myriad of questions to the back of his mind he raised his head from the back-rest of the armchair and his gaze settled on Hermione.

The petite woman was curled up on the luxurious sofa, her tiny frame looking even smaller than it actually was on the large piece of furniture. She was lost in thought if the faraway look in her eyes was anything to go by. The Slytherin battled with his curiosity for a few moments, silently debating if he should make some noise or poke her to get her back to the present, but he came to the conclusion that it would only make her agitated and he was afraid that he'd feel compelled to throttle her if she once again began rambling in the middle of a particularly interesting part of her narration. Deeming it safer to wait – for his own sanity and her safety – he instead contented himself with taking in the pleasant sight she presented.

After a minute or two a small sigh and her slight squirming signaled the end of her silent period of contemplation. The sparkling has gradually receded in her eyes and Severus assumed that the drunken haze she was in was slowly subsiding.

"As you know the article in the Prophet about Harry and me sent the nosy assholes that read the damn tabloid into uproar. I've gotten howlers and mails demanding an explanation and many closer acquaintances have deemed me worthy of a visit even if we haven't met in years. Apparently I'm only interesting when I'm mentioned in the newspaper. But when the truth came out yesterday morning in the Friday issue penned by a mysterious reporter – I still don't know his name but if I find him I'll have to thank him – and then I became 'poor little Hermione who has been treated badly by the Boy Who's An Idiot'. And with that came another inflow of letters, this time with 'wise' words of advice on how to patch things up with that moron, most of them saying that although he was a bit misguided in his attempt to be friendly I should forgive him because it would be so 'cute' to see the Trio back together. By the time we prepared everything for the mission and were ready to take off and storm Lestrange Manor I've had enough. After we finished there I went home, threw up a repelling charm against mail delivery – every form of it – and went to bed. And in the afternoon when I woke up I decided to go and have a few drinks with the guys to forget the last couple of days. Imagine my surprise when I couldn't find any of them home, except for Drake, but even he gave me this crappy excuse about having things to do and was out of my sight before I could say quiddich." she was frowning and the ex-spy could see the cogs in her head turning. He quickly realized that he'd have to distract her from that particular subject and he'd have to do it fast. He wouldn't have put it past her to connect the dots even in her less than stellar state and then he'd have a furious, tipsy little spitfire to deal with. Not to mention the fact that if she knew what the other Slytherins were up to that night she would try to run off and save Potter from the well-deserved punishment they came up with for him. He couldn't let that happen.

"I've thought you were smarted than to be bothered by strangers' opinions. If you ask me, the first article was hilarious." he had the sudden urge to pat himself on the shoulder for this little comment when he saw the indignant scowl appear on the auror's face.

"I do not care what they think. I've dealt with them for years. But what the hell did you find funny in that piece of made-up shit?!" her words had an edge to them, one that let Severus know that if he gave the wrong answer he'd be in serious trouble. But as he watched the red cheeks of the petite woman and looked into her narrowed eyes he couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him.

"I found the speculations about you and that brat quite amusing since day one. You've never been in the same league." he was pretty sure that his words could only be interpreted in one way, but the brunette's muddled brain had proven him wrong in an instant. Hermione was out of her seat in a series of lightning quick movements belying her inebriety and she reached the armchair opposite of her faster than the wizard thought possible. She leaned down, her hands gripping the arms of the chair so strongly that her knuckles turned white and she hissed in Severus' face, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"You think that he's out of my league, don't you? That plain, brainy little Hermione couldn't get a guy like the Chosen One. And to think that I was convinced that you actually hated him… Tell me, just how poor of an opinion have you got of me as a woman that you wouldn't wish me on one of your greatest enemies? Am I that repulsive?" she looked so hurt and angry in that moment that the Slytherin was stunned into silence by the sheer force of the emotions in her eyes. He had to make a swift recovery if he ever wanted to make one and he struggled to bring forth the words stuck in his throat.

"You've misunderstood me. I did not mean it that way." his own breathing quickened and he wasn't sure if it was because of the situation or the close proximity to the lioness.

"Then what?" she spat the question in his face as if it was a challenge and he had to force himself to remain calm and collected, wanting nothing more than to launch into a tirade about how much she underestimated him. However, he knew that it would not solve this mess and so he gritted his teeth before rising to his own defense.

"What I wanted to say is that I always knew you were better than him. Even in your school years you were smart, ambitious and mature. He was never your equal nor will he ever be. He'd never deserve you. Not to mention that I've never pegged you as one who'd go for the famous pretty-boy with the intelligence of a Flobberworm. Oh, and just for the record, I think you're twice the woman than what he'd be able to handle." a smirk had found its way to his mouth as he finished his explanation and withstood her scrutinizing gaze.

For a couple of minutes the Gryffindor studied the man sitting in front of her, searching the depths of his dark irises for any form of deceit. Finding none she calmed down almost immediately, the tension leaving her slight frame and the next thing Severus knew was that he had a beaming, affectionate witch in his lap and was squeezed in a hug stronger than what one would expect from such a small slip of a girl.

"Thank you." as she buried her head in the crook of his neck her whispered words sent shivers down the ex-spy's spine.

"Foolish girl. What is there to thank me for? I said nothing but my honest opinion." he noted with some disappointment that in his discomfort he reverted to his typical snarky self unconsciously. To compensate for his harsher than necessary comment he carefully – and a bit awkwardly – returned the hug with one arm, just in time to save the brunette from falling to the floor in her attempt to make herself comfortable on his lap and as he gripped her a bit tighter he was torn between feeling amused, embarrassed and nervous. He didn't allow himself to dwell on it.

At long last she seemed to have found a spot which she was satisfied with and Severus, for the life of him, couldn't remember just how exactly she managed to wiggle herself into that position. Maybe he was becoming senile in his old age. This had to be the reason, he reassured himself. Because the only other logical explanation to his sudden lapse of memory was that he was concentrating too hard on the feeling of the lithe, warm body of the Gryffindor as she moved around and it was simply not acceptable. Not when she was so vulnerable and certainly not when she was just expressing her gratitude – no matter how enthusiastically – over a friendly statement from him.

But for Merlin's sake, how long has it been since he had the opportunity to relish in the feeling of someone in his arms? Someone that has not been injured, incapacitated and in need of his help. Of course, he had carried and protected many of those during the war, mostly the poor souls who had the misfortune to find themselves in front of the Dark Lord and later were unable to leave his presence on their own feet, but that was a completely different matter. Sure, there was that one time when he woke her from her nightmare, but she was a distraught mess back then. And true, he did draw her into a brief hug after their truce in the lab two weeks ago, but that was partly in response to the awkward, one-sided embrace she gave him when he offered his friendship to her and partly to convey his gratefulness at the time. They hardly counted if he was looking at them from this angle. Now, however, she was happy – and to his absolute bafflement he felt the same, just because he was the one who put that ridiculous smile on her face – and she stayed in his one-armed embrace even when she had fairly adequate control over herself and was in a good enough condition to flee from the situation. And that, to have someone to hold and to have someone to hold him in return just for the sake of the comfort that the closeness of another person was able to bring was only familiar to him from distant memories.

But then he recalled the trust he was so in awe of, the trust that Hermione had bestowed on him and he pressed his lips together in a thin line, chastising himself for seeing more behind her innocent actions than what was there to see. She was a touchy-feely Gryffindor, one who wore her heart on her sleeve most of the time and who was prone to display her emotions as she saw fit, without hesitancy. The Potions Master had observed her interactions with Draco over the years on numerous occasions, especially in the previous months and she showed her fondness towards the blonde in the same way. Therefore, he pointed out to himself, he had no right to take advantage of the situation and use her alcohol-induced need to do what she did to satisfy his own irrational want for human contact. He silently swore to himself that from now on he'd stay solely focused on her, or more precisely on what she had to say and ignore his own selfish thoughts. He could do this. After all, he was used to putting others' needs before his own and if anyone deserved this small sacrifice from him it was the fragile-looking woman currently sitting between his thighs, both her legs thrown over one of his own and swinging comically back and forth as they dangled from knee down next to the armchair.

With these resolutions he leaned back and regarded Hermione with a neutral expression, giving her a chance to take the initiative and resume their conversation if she wanted to.

She tilted her head to the side and regarded the dark-clad wizard with a thoughtful expression. The corners of her lips curved upwards in a bittersweet smile and as if she was steeling herself for something bad she wrapped her arms around her torso while she rested her shoulder on Severus' chest. After a huge gulp and a deep breath she was speaking again.

"You wanted to hear about Him and you held up your end of the deal, so I'll do the same. But it won't be a cheerful topic. I apologize in advance for my silly mood swings." the ex-spy saw the mischievous glint in her eyes and gave her a mock-scowl.

"I can tolerate the tears and the whining, I've had enough practice dealing with that as a teacher, but don't get all sentimental if you can avoid it, please." his tone was strict, but he gave her waist a small squeeze to let her know that he did not intend to offend her. Her cheeky grin and the elbow that pressed sharply into his ribs for a moment made it clear that she understood his meaning.

"You only got used to the crying and whining because most of the time you were the cause. But I'll try to steer clear of melodrama. Now will you shut up and listen to me, or do I have to make you?" her impish smirk was definitely something that she acquired during her years of partnership with Draco and Severus wondered what kind of adult she would have grown up to be had she been in Slytherin. Outwardly he gave nothing away about his musings, only raising an eyebrow.

"And how do you think you'd manage to do that? Not that I'm not eager to hear the rest of your story, but it is a brave thing to say to someone stronger, bigger and more sober than you." that was it, the familiar bantering that he so missed since he got a taste of it during their time spent on the research. It nearly made him feel like a decent human being, even if it was just for a few minutes at a time. How he craved those fleeting moments…

"If you keep doing that I'll be forced to show you just what I had in mind. Getting lost in your thoughts and not listening to me is not any better than interrupting me..." the Potions Master nearly groaned at his own stupidity, displeased with his lack of self-discipline. Looking down at her, however, reassured him that she was only teasing. "And to answer your question you are bigger, sure, and certainly stronger than me, and I won't pretend that I'm a hundred percent sober, but you forgot about one, very important thing."

"And what would that be?" as Severus gazed at the witch, not breaking the eye-contact in order to stay focused, he had to admit to himself that for once in his life, he was having fun. And it felt damn good.

"That I'm a tipsy, brave, bold Gryffindor. Oh, and foolish, too." and with that she leaned in and bit the wizard's neck. It didn't hurt him, not by a long shot, but it left him gaping like an idiot. And the insane vixen had the audacity to start giggling. "See? I told you that I'd make you shut up."

"Why, you impudent little minx!" he practically growled, then after a moment of silence he burst out laughing so hard that his sides ached. Her tinkling laughter followed his own and she rested her head on his chest while she shook with the force of it.

It took them considerable time to calm down and when they both had their breathing under control the Potions Master, in a rare act of insanity pulled the auror's curly-haired head towards himself, pressing a kiss onto her forehead.

"I promise that I'll listen. Go on brave Gryffindor." he barely recognized his own voice, softer than he ever heard it to be. As she nestled closer to him and clutched his hand in her smaller one he watched her, feeling like a fool when her happiness evaporated right before his eyes to give way to the sad looking girl with a somber expression. And when she shuddered almost imperceptibly, biting her lips as she peeked up at him with pain and perhaps a fraction of guilt in those whiskey coloured orbs of hers he instinctively put his other arm around her. If he was honest to himself he had to admit that he had no idea what he should do, but his small gesture seemed to be enough for the brunette because with a quiet sigh she relaxed and with a steady voice proceeded to tell him about the mysterious Him.

"To tell you the truth, I don't even know why I keep this a secret, it's nothing serious, if you look at it from others' perspective. It's a fairly common thing in the muggle world, or at least it's nothing sensational. But I have no idea what it would be like if the wizarding press got wind of it. And it's hard for me to process, I guess, even if I had years to get used to it…" she was rambling again, most likely without noticing it, but Severus knew better than to interrupt her. This was something that she had to explain on her own terms, because obviously it affected her more than she let on. "You all knew – I mean nearly everyone in the Order – that during the war I erased my parents' memories of me and their true identities and sent them to Australia. But what nobody knows except for Draco is that after the war I went after them, to lift the charm and bring them home. And I knew that they'd be angry at me and disappointed and I was ready for that. Because no matter what I got from them as punishment I was happy that they lived long enough to be mad at me. Or at least I thought that until I found them. It was a rough month, tracking them down. Especially because they were separated by then. And this is what's the hardest to make peace with, that their marriage didn't survive the ordeal as they had. Later my mom told me the truth behind it all, that they had problems even before I sent them away and that they tried their best to stay together just for my sake. But with me out of the way, so to speak, they had nothing to keep them in a loveless relationship. Because no matter how much I've altered their memories their personalities remained the same and there was no spark between them anymore. So they got divorced about five months after they arrived in Australia. In a way it makes me feel even worse to know that they made such an effort for me and I destroyed their marriage in exchange for it. It doesn't even matter that I did it involuntarily, it's my fault regardless."

She went silent for a while, staring ahead and gulping from time to time. It was her way of keeping her emotions in check, the wizard realized that, but he was getting impatient. He would have pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance if he could, but his arms were still wrapped around the petite witch and he didn't think it would have been a good idea to withdraw them. Instead he occupied himself with speculating about what the end of her story could be.

"So there was my mother. She was all what I thought she would be – infuriated, displeased, puzzled – but she was understanding in a way that just moms can be. She told me that she still loved me, that she didn't want to come back home because it reminded her of too many things and because by that time she had already found a guy who she was pretty much falling in love with, but that I was welcome in her home anytime. And I was fine by me, I visit them on every holiday and I think myself lucky that I got my mom back. She's happy there, she married the man she got together with and they had a baby last November." the ex-spy did not expect to hear something like this and his face must have betrayed his surprise because Hermione chuckled, shaking her head. "I wouldn't have thought that I'd ever have a sibling, either. And it frightened me at first, to know that there's a little man on the other side of the planet who will look up to me one day and whom I'll have to protect. But then I remembered that "Hello, you moron, you've done that for years in Hogwarts with two imbeciles as your charges and you did just fine". So I think I'm up for the challenge. But that's not what I wanted to share with you. The next part is what's important…"

She turned her head upwards to have a better view of Severus and as their eyes met and locked the wizard gave a nod, assuring her that she still had his attention.

"The oftentimes mentioned Him is my dad… My dad was devastated and raving mad. As soon as I told him what happened he went all silent and still and then he was shouting, raging, pacing around like a caged animal. He said many horrible things to me. I've never seen him act like that. He had shown me the side of him that no daughter should see from her father. I've seen many things during my adolescence, things that robbed me of my innocence in a way and took away the naivety that I still managed to retain until then, despite my logical and down-to-earth personality. But when my own dad called me a failure, an ungrateful little bitch…" the wizard unwittingly let out a growl, his eyes alight with the fury he barely managed to keep at bay. "Yes, that's what he said. The lighter part of it. The other half I won't even mention. But it broke something in me, shattered it into tiny pieces and I have no idea if it will ever stop hurting. He blamed me for everything, not just for the divorce, but for their initial problems as well. I have no idea what I did wrong, what I did to drive them apart; really, I was away at a boarding school for three fourths of a year from the age of eleven, for Merlin's sake!" she took a few shaky breaths before finishing her narration with a defeated, quiet voice. "I haven't spoken to him since that day, aside from a few five minutes long visits that never ended well. I stopped trying after two years. But every time I get drunk my mind tricks me into believing that it's time to go and finally fix things between us. That is why I asked you to keep me here. Because after the last put-down from him I was so depressed that it took Draco days to make me eat again and it was an awful experience."

This was the point where she dissolved into tears and the Potions Master couldn't blame her for it. He was shocked by the revelation, shaken to the core, because he knew. He knew what she felt, what it was like to be treated in a way by a parent that no child deserved to be treated in and because he knew that this pain would never fade away completely, that one carried the scars from such a trauma through life.

The memories of his own childhood rushed to the surface, bombarding him with images of his own father abusing him both verbally and physically. The method made no difference, the blows of the bastard's fists and the hateful words that accompanied them hurt equally.

Unable to say anything that would make her feel better – there were no words that could have eased the pain the Gryffindor felt – he pulled her closer, cradling her carefully and rocked her back and forth as she cried. There was no other sound in the spacious room for a long time other than her small sobs and hiccups. After nearly an hour she dozed off with her tiny hands fisted in Severus' dark robe, her face buried in the crook of his neck – his shirt was soaked with her tears and he didn't even mind it as long as it gave her some comfort – and the weight of her legs making his own limb under them fall asleep. And although he could have moved, could have brought her to one of the guest rooms or at the bare minimum could have let go of her with one hand to adjust her position to be more comfortable for him he did none of that. Turning his head to rest his cheek on the top of her head he stayed in the exact same place for Merlin knows how long, thinking about the little warrior of a woman slumbering in his embrace.

It was all clear now. The whispered conversations between Hermione and Draco about Him, that comment from the younger Malfoy when he advised him not to ask the brunette witch about her family, they all made sense.

Not long ago he'd have sworn that he had no heart whatsoever, or that if he had one it was darker and emptier than anyone else's and that it couldn't feel anymore, but at the moment he was no longer sure of that. Because it ached. It was such a foreign feeling that it scared him. Frightened him, even.

He didn't quite understand it. He had heard sad tales and life stories, some of them much more terrible than what he just heard from Hermione, but they didn't even invoke his sympathy, so why was it that hearing this particular piece of information made him so concerned and responsive?

Arguing about this topic with himself for a good half an hour he decided that it was a pointless debate. She was his friend and she was hurting, in a way that he could relate to all too well, so of course he would be more compassionate towards her than, for example, towards Molly Weasley with her dead brothers. It sounded harsh even in his mind, but he was not a nice man and this was an accurate summary of his thoughts. Leaving the subject to mull it over later he simply continued the soothing movements that lulled the little Gryffindor into sleep and listening to her even breathing he nodded off as well.

Oh, by the way, feel free to point out the mistakes if I left any, it's 4AM and I'm too tired to read it over three times as I usually do.

Also, reviews are appreciated and more inspiring than you'd think! :)