Review responses-
dragonlady222- You were the first one to review the last chapter! So you get pocky! (hands you pocky) Of course, it may totally disappear while being transported through time and space to your front door. And I may have forgotten a postage stamp. Anyway… I was planning on writing Chapter 24 since… chapter 2! Ha ha. There's a little bit of what you wanted in this chapter. Feeling sorry for Tea? Good to know.
Hakudoshi-chan- You have become really lax in your reviews… what does that last review mean? Come on, it's not fair if you're not going to tell me what you didn't understand! Onegai? (Or is it kudasai? O.o;)
Akio the Dragon Master- Ah, so Gregory has a thing for stories centered around homosexuals and homophobics, eh? …Gregory is weird. I must meet this Gregory. Maybe he will talk to me again…
It wasn't fair… he wanted to play, too! He wanted to get back at Shadi as much as anybody did. But he was trapped here… waiting… with no idea when he would be able to escape, save that he knew that it was supposed to be soon.
Soon, maybe he could paint the walls with the Pharaoh's blood… maybe Yugi Motou's first, just to set the quondam ruler, present asshole off. Or maybe he could trick Yugi into helping him.
But none of this would matter if that tomb thief got to him first… He strained and struggled against his bindings. It was no use. Someone Outside had to perform the Ritual…
In the meantime, observing the Outside continued to be very entertaining… he had deigned to enjoy watching these mortals' everyday lives. Oh, but he'd destroy them all…
"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!" Tea shrieked. She nearly dropped the bag.
"Um…" said Malik doltishly.
"Making out?" suggested Ryou. "Is that what it's called?"
"I believe so, yes," confirmed Malik.
"Ah. Then that's what we were doing." Ryou nodded wisely in satisfaction with his conclusion.
Tea looked at them both, horrified. "WHY are you two doing that?"
"Well we're not doing it anymore, we're talking to you!" Ryou noted happily. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he managed to slide off of it completely and hit his chin on the floor. "Ow!"
"Ooh! Ooh! I know the answer to this one!" Malik waved his arms frantically in the air. "We're drunk!"
"Yes," Ryou followed suit, "we're very, very drunk. So don't come back tomorrow, 'cause we'll have hangovers!"
The way Ryou said hangovers made Tea want to laugh. Instead, she glommed him suspiciously.
"You two don't smell like alcohol…"
"Well, really, it was just some shots put in our lemonade by that kind and wonderful person… er… what's his name…"
"The famous gay!" Malik shouted. "I mean, the famous guy!"
"Oh, yeaaaaaaaaah…" Ryou blinked. "Who?"
"Barney," Malik said with a smile. Ryou giggled.
"Oh! You must mean Seto Kaiba," Ryou giggled. Sorry, Seto, he apologized tacitly, but you were the only one I could think of!
"Yes, and we did have lemonade during dinner," Malik pointed out.
"You two don't sound drunk…"
"Well that's right; who said we were drunk?" Pushing himself to his knees, Ryou managed to fall and smash face-forward into Malik's nightstand. The Egyptian started laughing his head off. Tea pursed her lips together, and turned around to leave. Then she turned back around and grabbed Malik by the ear.
"I needed to speak to you," Tea said sweetly. Malik nodded dumbly and allowed her to drag him out as he yelled something about baby elephants with sinus infections. As soon as Tea was out of sight, Ryou sat up and sighed. Tea was still in control, it seemed, and—
Hey, why did he sense his yami?
Bakura crept into Shadi's bedroom. He could scarcely suppress the maniacal laughter that itched his throat; so instead, he hummed evilly. Yes, that's right, he hummed. Got a problem with that? Take it up with the Lame Evil People Department of Japan. It's not my job to suit your whims. :P
Bakura crept up behind Shadi and clicked the Millennium Key to his head. For anybody normal watching, this would have looked really, really strange. Some white-haired guy comes in and hits a bald tanned guy in the head with a giant key. What would you think?
The next thing Bakura knew, he was inside of Shadi's soul room. For somebody so exotic and foreign and mysterious, you'd think that Shadi's soul room would've held a plethora of secrets; and it did, many about the ancient past, but Bakura wasn't interested in those quite yet. First he wanted to do something funny.
Yes, Bakura has a sense of humor. And it's just coming into effect, right now. Let's all watch, shall we?
He started to move furniture with the gleeful look of a child who knew he was moving mommy's favorite pair of shoes where she couldn't find them.
"Hi Seto!" Mokuba chirped as he entered his bedroom. Seto warily regarded his brother from behind a copy of the Beijing Times.
"Hello."
Yami was in the corner, playing Mahjong Solitaire on Seto's laptop. "Hello, Mokuba."
"Hello, Yami." Mokuba bowed politely towards him. Sifting through some items in his closet, he pulled out a book. It was emblazoned with a label proclaiming that it was a Barnes & Noble Classic, whatever that meant. "Bye…" He started to leave, but Seto interjected.
"Hey, Mokuba, what book is that?" Seto asked curiously. Mokuba curled his upper lip in a malevolent smile.
"Dracula," he averred, before walking out of the room.
Yami couldn't understand it when Seto started screaming.
Tea dragged Malik outside. "I don't care whether you're banjaxed or not, I wanted you to have this… The woman who gave it to me, she's the mother of one of my friends." Tea shoved the plastic bag against his torso and into his hands. "You said you needed it for something. You're so weird. Well, then." She kissed him on the cheek. "Bye!"
She broke off running at top-speed. Malik stared after her.
"Thank goodness for my quick thinking," he mused, "or was it Ryou's idea? I can scarcely remember. Hmm… I wonder what she got me? –Why am I talking to myself aloud?"
He peeked into the plastic bag and paled considerably. "Oh my goodness," he laughed. "This should be… amusing…?"
Malik took the item out of the bag and giggled. It was a pink, silk, padded brassiere. He could hardly suppress his laughter as he walked back into the house. "I must have the best girlfriend in the world!" Malik smirked as he said this. "She's actually helping me with my plot… and she's stupid enough to believe that I'm not—"
"What 'plot'?" Odion interrupted. "And you're not what?"
Odion leaned against the doorframe that led into the dining/living area. Malik gulped, and startened to quicken his pace. Odion reached out and plucked Malik up by the collar like a part-time blueberry picker in Canada. "Oh, no. You're explaining. What 'plot' did you have in mind? If it's anything like the one you and Yugi pulled last month, with the tea kettle and the stolen monkey—"
"It's nothing like that, Odion!" Malik assured him. "I'm just going to embarrass Shadi, is all. He'll never know what hit him, and nobody will get poked in the eye with a banana or be forced to drink fish-food through a dog muzzle like last time."
"You mean tea. That 'fish-food' was tea."
"Yes… yes, I mean tea." Malik shook his head, trying to forget the awful taste that that monkey had shoved down his throat. "There also won't be a barbeque grill involved, so the monkey—I mean, if there is one—or if there was one," Malik tried to save himself, "so that it wouldn't get cooked. But don't worry. All it involves is a bra."
Odion raised an eyebrow, one golden eye trained on him in the manner of a bird-of-prey, the other securing the hallway and making sure nobody passed by. "You…"
"I?" Malik echoed.
"You stole your sister's bra."
Malik fell over with a loud thunk that was probably heard all the way down the hall. A door was heard opening, and then slamming shut, and a few quick, padded footsteps were heard pussyfooting away from them. Odion tensed, but Malik gave a sigh of relief.
"No, I did not steal my sister's bra," Malik said (too loudly for Odion's taste). "I had my girlfriend pick one up for me! I don't even know whose it is… which is kind of sadder than if I had stolen one of Ishizu's. Anyway, I just wanted to put it in Shadi's turban, so that if we manage to get him to take it off—"
" 'Take it off!' " Odion said in a squeak. Malik stared at him.
"…Don't ever do that again."
"Okay."
"Yeah. Anyway, so when he takes it off it'll fall and everybody'll see it." Malik looked extremely pleased. "And it's all thanks to my bird. Well, see ya! I've got stuff to do."
"Wait a second!" Odion once again grabbed Malik's sleeve like a middle school student tugging on a roll of red paper from the colored-paper rack. "She just came over to give you a bra?"
" Apparently so," rejoiced Malik, "which is all fine with me, because I really can't stand it when she hangs out in the house. It's so annoying…"
"You should break up with her," Odion advised, nodding. Malik nodded eagerly.
"I'm gonna! –As soon as this trick is over, because I might need her help again." Malik smiled evilly. "But don't worry, Tea is evilly replaced now…"
Odion raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said you weren't very popular at your school."
Malik tossed the bag over his shoulder and started to walk away, this time without interruption as he called back over his shoulder, "I'm not. But everybody has their one special fan."
Odion's eyebrows switched positions, the left one lowering and the right one raising. "Oh, I… I have no idea what you're talking about?"
One special fan? Odion wanted to rub his temples right now. Dude, not even I have groupies…Lucky!
Odion grunted disconsolately and turned away, leaving Malik to whatever fun and games he desired. And he desired… Ryou… aiding him with TURBOGRAF-X 16 madness!
Malik's Turbografx-16 would be locked up in his closet, as always. Malik had collected only a few games for that system—the real, real old, the real, real rare, and the real, real good. (A/N: Say that last sentence out loud. It's REALLY fun to say!)
As soon as he was out of sight, Malik turned the doorknob and slipped quietly into his room again.
"Hey Yugi," Yami said as he entered the room. "What's up?"
"Zzz…"
"Are you sleeping?"
"Zzz…"
"Hello?"
Yugi rolled over. "The banana-bread wasp stunk Douglas Adams on his birthday… Zzz… bad banana-bread wasp, bad monkey idols… Zzz… the QUEEN!" he murmured loudly. Yami sweat dropped.
"Yep, he's definitely asleep," the oh-so-intellihentay Pharaoh concluded. (A/N: Intellihentay is an inside joke. It means intelligent.) He sunk to the floor and started to get undressed. "And he took my spot, too! I thought we agreed that I called dibs on the bed. Hmph."
"What's that?" Kaiba asked, sticking his head into the room. Yami shook his head. A blush bore itself timidly on the tips of his ears.
"Nothing, Pooky," Yami informed him, "now scram."
"Not unless you stop calling me Pooky," Kaiba demanded, scowling vehemently. "Where on Earth did you get such a ridiculous name? I don't want to be called that."
"But why, Pooky?" Yami whined. He tried his best to give Kaiba what others called "the puppy eyes". Yami's eyes weren't nearly as cute as Mokuba, Ryou, or Yugi's when they wanted something, but they were intriguingly interesting, a mixture of liquid ember and sugar-induced mental incapability. If you didn't understand that sentence, you may be offended by the last two words in it.
Kaiba stared at Yami's eyes for awhile before he realized that he was staring. Then he snapped at Yami growlingly, "Because you're doing it to bother me!"
" Hm… by George, you're right!" Yami leapt to his feet just as Kaiba asked, "Who's George? Is he a writer?"
" No silly," Yami giggled.
"Stop making that face," Kaiba snapped. "I told you that you shouldn't have eaten that entire back of Jolly Ranchers."
" But I brushed my teeth!" Yami insisted. "Like, five times! Yugi's mother made me stop. Something about wearing the enamel off of my teeth… whatever that is."
Kaiba rolled his eyes, but before he could respond to his boyfriend's sugar-driven behavior, Yami leaned up and kissed him before shouting "BYE!" and slamming the door in his face.
Kaiba blinked. "Blink, blink," he said, "that was weird."
"What's even weirder is you narrating your actions," Mokuba opined as he passed him by. "Come to bed, Seto. You're going to need sleep, you know. C.E.O.'s aren't, like, super-powerful or anything."
"C.E.O.'s in general are not. I, however, am! Mua ha ha, mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha—"
"Seto, stop it," Mokuba scorned. Kaiba's ears, had he been a dog, would have dropped.
"Sorry."