'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

Well, I think it's about time for a disclaimer, eh? Well, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor do I, in this chapter, own the song "I'll Cover You" that comes from that oh-so-lovely movie/play, Rent. :) I also stole a recipe for a celery dish from some Australian site called "Fresh for Kids." What can I say? I know nothing about celery. Or cooking. I'm a failure at life, heh. Oh, and I'm sorry I forgot to update this.

So… cue the Chrismassy scene. See the lazy snow outside that was lazily… squatting outside the window. Hear a busted radio belting out—

"Leaving my house, I'll be your shelter/Just pay me back with one thousand kisses!/Be my loverrrrrrr! I'll cover youuuu-uuuu!"

"Open your door/I'll be your tenant/Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet/But sweet kisses I've goooot to spare!/I'll be theeeere and I'll cover youuu!"

"…Seto, why does that sound like two guys?"

"O.O Uhm… I really don't know, Mokuba," replied Seto, who was unfamiliar with the song, "I'll Cover You," from the play and movie Rent.

"Never mind," Mokuba said abruptly, wanting to move on. "Let's just keep going… What else did you say we needed besides the—" Mokuba winced. "—Celery?"

"…We need garlic. And ginger."

"…I think Yugi has that in his pantry…"

"Prawns and coconuts."

"o.O Coconuts?" Mokuba shot his brother an odd look. Seto himself looked rather odd, as he was currently sweatdropping due to the song saying something about being one another's cult.

"…Look," Seto reasoned, shaking his head to clear it of any wayward thoughts, "this is the only celery dish I know how to make, and it calls for shelled prawns and desiccated coconuts."

"…I don't believe that desiccated is a word," Mokuba snubbed. Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"Oh, please shut up and help me look for some."

"Why don't we ask Yugi?" Mokuba asked, smiling pertly at his big brother. Seto froze, and a cold feeling washed over his back.

"Let's just let him rest… I think he was going to take a nap or something."

"Why, are we that boring?" Mokuba mused. "What else do we need besides shelled prawns and decimated—"

"Desiccated."

"—defecated coconut?" (A/N: Hehehehehehe…)

"That's desiccated. We also need tomato sauce, and rice."

"—Yugi's allergic to tomatoes."

Seto blinked. "What?"

"I said, 'Yugi's allergic to tomatoes,' " Mokuba repeated irately. Seto rolled his eyes.

"Oh, please. How would you know?"

"I just do! Really; you can ask him," Mokuba lied.

"Alright then… cough! Liar. Cough! What do you think we should make for dinner?"

Mokuba looked back at the veggie chiller. "Why don't we just make the cabbage? We could… boil it, or whatever."

Seto was kind of put off by the way Mokuba sounded like he had no idea what he was talking about, but he nodded anyway.

Meanwhile, Yugi was outside in the hallway. He hadn't trusted the Kaibas enough to be left alone, so he was sitting on the steps of the stairs, able to see inside the kitchen at an angle. In truth, if either Seto or Mokuba took even a sideways glance in his direction, they would've seen him, but while Seto thought Yugi was going upstairs to get some rest (which Yugi admitted was a very good idea,) Yugi actually just wanted to sit down for a few minutes and think things over. Sure, he wanted all of this—Mokuba, Seto, and the upcoming dinner that was sure to be a fiasco—to go away, but he had to figure out how to do it.

/Please won't you just send them to the Shadow Realm,/ Yugi begged. /It's worth it! Think about it: no more Kaiba to challenge you to duels every single day, no more--/

/I like dueling him everyday! If I don't duel everyday, my skills will get rusty! And if Seto doesn't challenge me to a duel, who will I duel?/

/Uh… Joey?/

/Yeah… Well, I guess I could; I mean he's come a long way since he started dueling…/

/Make that a really, really long way!/

/Why are you so anxious to get them out anyway, aibou?/

/Why are you suddenly backing out on me?/

/But isn't acting gay fun:P/

Yugi sputtered in surprise. /Ex-cuse me?/ he responded angrily. /No! Of course it's not fun! I hate it! I hate everything about it!/

/Are you sure?/ Yami continued to tease. Yugi did not like the concentration of mischief that was leaking through their bond.

/What are you saying, dummy?/ he demanded.

/:P/ That was the only thing Yami had to "say." Yugi saw red at that moment.

/You're having WAY too much fun with this plan, you know, Yami? It was your idea, remember, and I could just as easily tell them that you're gay as well--/

/But then you'd be lying./

Yugi's eyebrows shut tightly. His hands were pushing against the cool metal gold sides of the Millennium Puzzle; his eyebrows were furrowed so low that they could be considered knit together where they met on his face; he had a nasty twitch on his right cheek. All in all, it was probably the ugliest Yugi had ever looked. He felt pretty ugly, too… ugly and nasty. And spiteful. And then his face unwound into its normal state, although his eyes were a bit… glassier… and his mouth was tilted downward.

"Ohhhhh lover! I'll cover youuu, yeaa-aa-aa-aah!/ Ohhhhh lover! I'll cover youuuuuu…"

"What the heck are they listening to?" Yugi squeaked, afraid to speak in a normal tone lest he explode. He stood up and made his way up the stairs, concentrating assiduously on each and every step he made.

/Yugi?/ Yami worried.

/I'm NOT talking to you./ Yugi pulled off the mental equivalent of a huff. He kept his eyes straight ahead as he walked down the hall.

/I was just having some fun with you, Yugi,/ Yami told him. He actually sounded a bit frightened by Yugi's sudden new demeanor.

/Well, obviously your definition of fun and my definition of fun are two very, very different things,/ Yugi decided. /After all, your definition of fun sucks, and mine is just like everybody else's. You, Yami, are a cheap son of a gun, seriously, you do know that right? Why are you helping them torture me like this?/

/I wasn't trying to./

/Like fun you weren't! You're the one who came up with this whole "pretend to be gay" idea! It's your fault!/

/I was just saying you looked like you were having--/

/I WASN'T HAVING FUN!/

If Yugi had spoken those words instead of thought them, and if you had been standing in front of him at the time, you would've been blown over backwards.

/Look, I'm sorry, ok?/ Yami apologized blandly as Yugi went into his room.

/Sorry's not good enough./

/Yes it is./

/No it isn't./

/Well then… I'm really sorry./

/…Okay, but no more making fun of me./ Yugi flopped down onto his bed. Taking off his Millennium Puzzle, he placed it on his nightstand. Yami sighed in relief.

/Ok, aibou, I promise,/ Yami… promised (what? He said he did,) watching as the shorter blonde snuggled into his pillow.

/Ok… Thank you…/

/You're welcome./

/I'm sooooo sleepy…/ Yugi sighed-slash-yawned into his pillow, before rolling over onto his side facing the Millennium Puzzle. At least one problem had been resolved. The two downstairs, though, would not be more at least a few more days.

"MOKUBA!"

Yugi didn't open his eyes, despite Seto's loud cry of exasperation that reverberated all the way from downstairs. Instead he determinedly forced himself into the more peaceful land of sleep.

"Mokuba, you idiot, you do not need that much of a flame underneath the pot!" Seto screamed.

"It wasn't my fault, Seto," Mokuba defended. "Their stove just decided to give that much of a flame! It's… it's a flaming stove! …A flaming homo stove," he giggled.

Seto glared at him. "You shouldn't be saying stuff like that! It's queer."

"You do realize that's a pun?" Mokuba laughed.

"Mokuba, if you don't watch out, something's going to catch on fire," Seto warned, watching the three-foot-long flame spurt from the stove.

"It'll be fine, Seto!" Mokuba offered cheerfully. "We'll just wait for it to die down." Mokuba grabbed a chair and pulled it towards him before he turned around and sat on it. (What? It's a chair. That's what you do with chairs.) His gray eyes turned to the flame, which flickered as if acknowledging Mokuba's presence. However, it was still three feet long.

"What kind of stove is this, anyway?" Seto grumbled. "It's like Yugi's family owns a flamethrower…"

"Better Yugi than the Ishtars, right big brother?" Mokuba said, reaching with his pointer finger extended to the flame.

"Mokuba, what are you doing?"

"Pretty…"

"Mokuba, don't touch that. Don't touch that. Seriously, Mokuba, don't touch that. Mokuba!"

Seto slapped the newly-discovered pyromaniac's hand away from the flame. Unfortunately, by doing so, he sent a wet dish towel that had been dangling over the opposite end of the stove spiraling downwards. It landed just so that its only dry corner was near the flame. In a minute, Seto had two three-foot flames to contend with. He turned to Mokuba, about to admonish him before he picked the towel up by its wet end and tried to toss it on top of itself.

However, he didn't get to.

Kaiba had mused that something might catch fire, but he never expected what happened next.

The refrigerator next to the stove caught on fire.

The normally impassive C.E.O.'s jaw hit the floor.

"Mokuba, get some water!"