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Chapter 25:

Another night passed without rest. I struggled to get out of bed and I felt nauseous. My head was throbbing and I looked like death itself. I held my stomach as I walked over to the wash basin. I kneeled down in front of it and I felt my heart race as I felt myself about to be sick, but nothing came. I washed my face and then went back into my room. I felt dizzy; I had to hold the wall as I walked back over to my bed.

I sat down and held my hand to my forehead. I was in cold sweat. My chest felt even tighter than yesterday and the heaviness in my heart had only grown stronger. I felt myself about to be sick again and I ran to the wash basin, but once again, nothing happened. I sat, crouched over next to the wash basin. I was shivering and I leaned into the wash basin and puked. It was nothing but water. I rinsed my mouth and stared into the basin. The only thing I had consumed for almost four days now was water.

I pushed the wash basin into my bedroom and sat down on my bed, shaking. I was hot but also freezing. I was so confused, I had never been sick before. Whenever I was, mother would stay with me the entire time. I swallowed and felt a sharp pain in my chest and I leaned into the wash basin again and puked. I rinsed my mouth through again, struggling my way back to bed. I was so weak, I could barely walk.

I heard the nurse walk in, but I was staring up at the ceiling. She looked at me and I heard her gasp. She quickly set down the breakfast tray on the nightstand and she rushed over to me. "M'lady! Are you alright?"

Despite my weakness, I cringed at that question. I didn't need her help, I needed no one's help. I could take care of myself. "Leave." I told her and she stood for a while, looking reluctant but then she quickly scampered away. I watched her go and my stomach turned over again and I leaned into the wash basin. I was too weak to rinse my mouth, so I leaned against my bed stand and gritted my teeth from my chest pain.

The only person, I wanted, needed was mother. I swallowed hard and turned my head to stare at the wall. I shivered again. My throat felt dry and scratched as I swallowed again. A bitter taste in my mouth. I feebly looked up when I saw my door open. Zuko walked in. My stomach turned and I grabbed the wash basin again and puked. I felt Zuko's strong hand on my back. "Katara? What happened?" His voice was bewildered and I slowly pushed my face up from the wash basin.

He stared into my face, with his mouth parted in shock. "Spirits" He muttered as I leaned back into the wash basin. My stomach was in so much pain as I puked again. I wanted to tell Zuko to leave, to get away from me, to not see me in this state, but I was far too weak to even speak. I felt his hand slowly pat my back, awkwardly.

I finally looked up from the wash basin after a long time and I turned my face away from Zuko. He was still in shock, but he grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him. I pushed him away with my remaining strength. My head pounded with a new form of pain as he began asking me questions. "Was it something you ate?" I didn't have to look at him to know his eyes had darted over to my filled breakfast tray. He took a deep breath, "Have you eaten anything at all? Did you get any sleep? Katara! Look up at me!" His voice was so firm, my face slowly looked up at him.

Finally my eyes locked with his and I closed my eyes. "I can't-" my voice cracked and I looked away from him. His voice came soft and gentle through my closed eyes. "Katara, it's okay to grieve." And then something in me collapsed. I broke down and tears slid down my face. All of my resistance and infirmity collapsed somewhere inside of me and tears slipped off of my face and I felt Zuko pull me into his arms. My crying went to full on ugliness as my face contorted and I felt my nose begin to run. Zuko's breathing was warm and steady next to my ear and I cried harder and harder.

"Oh mother…" I moaned through my sobs and I cried harder. I was shaking so violently, I felt Zuko hold me tighter. "Mother…" I sobbed into Zuko's shoulder and I felt him place one of his hands on the back of my neck and pull me closer to him. "I w-want her…" I cried to myself. I was relieved that Zuko didn't try to silence me, I was glad he didn't try to stop me crying. If I had to shut up any more feelings I felt I might have exploded.

I clutched his shirt from his shoulder and clenched it in my fist as I sobbed harder. The thunder from the storm outside rumbled in sync with my sobs. "Mother…" I moaned her name louder and louder, over and over again. The word 'mother' slipping away from my grasp rapidly. My sobs slowed into muffled sniffles and slow tears and finally Zuko slowly pulled away and he looked right into my eyes. I couldn't look up at him and I felt him wipe a tear off of my cheek.

I was surprised I didn't feel embarrassed. My chest felt as if it had been allowed to breath and I took in a deep breath I had not been able to take for a long time. I felt a huge weight being lifted off of my heart and I could feel relief running through my body. Zuko's face was graced with a small yet beautiful smile. "Now-" he began but he was cut off by me leaning back into the wash basin as my stomach turned over once again. "Sorry." I mumbled quietly. He gave me a stern look. "You must eat something" he looked over at my breakfast tray, "and you need to rest."

I shook my head, "I'm not hungry." I was still shaking from all of the events and my breakdown.

"You must rest then, and eat once you wake."

As he spoke I felt a wave of exhaustion crash over me. I nodded weakly to him and he got off of the side of my bed and helped tuck me into bed. I despised the idea of being too weak to put myself into bed. I closed my eyes, but I could still feel his presence in the room as I drifted off into a deep sleep.

I woke up a few hours later. It wasn't enough for missing four nights of proper rest, but I woke up feeling refreshed and replenished. My stomach was still in severe pain, but the rest had helped it a lot. When I awoke, Zuko was already walking towards me with a tray of food. "Three hours is definitely not enough, but you should eat something before you rest more."

It wasn't same tray I had received this morning. I still wasn't hungry, but Zuko was right, I had to eat something. I took a few sips of water before I ate. I took a few bites of bread. The idea of eating, making me feel sick again, but I forced myself to swallow. After a few more bites, I felt my stomach pain lessening, but it would be sore for a while after puking so many times. I didn't eat anything else, Zuko told me that was wise, since eating a lot suddenly would probably make me sick again.

He told me to rest again. "You need to rest longer. You missed too many nights of sleep for you to still be awake." I protested but he was stern and I was surprised to say as I placed my head back on my pillow I drifted back into a deep sleep.

I woke up after a sleep that felt so long and peaceful. I blinked a few times as I looked around. The maid came quickly into my room and placed a tray of food next to me. "The Prince has told you to eat this."

"What time is it?" I asked her, ignoring what she had said.

She looked over through my balcony window, "Almost the evening."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"I would say about two days."

I raised my eyebrows. I was asleep for two entire days? "Very well." I nodded at her, "you may leave." The maid left and I looked over at my food. I slowly picked up a piece of bread and began taking a few bites out of it. My stomach had a faint pain in it, but it was almost gone. Now that I felt better, I realized I was starving. After the bread, I carefully ate a small portion of egg. I knew I shouldn't eat anymore, I still wasn't fully recovered. After I ate, I got up from my bed, feeling weak no longer and pulled out a dress.

It was one of my own and it was plain and dark blue. I washed up and then called the maid back up. "Would there be time to take a bath?" I asked her. The maid gave me a quick smile and then rushed off. She called me back when my bath was ready. I pulled off my nightgown and climbed into the warm bathwater.

When I finished I felt clean and awake. I changed into the dress and re braided my wet hair. When I walked out of the wash room, Zuko was waiting for me. He looked over at me and nodded approvingly.

"You look refreshed."

"As long as I don't look dead anymore." I said softly. I then took a deep breath and looked Zuko right in the eyes. "I want to learn how to fight." I said firmly.

I saw Zuko's eyes widen slightly. "What?"

"You heard me." I pursed my lips before I spoke, "I want to be able to defend myself. I want to learn how to fight with and without weapons. Will you teach me?" I knew it was a lot to ask, but I was hoping he would listen to my reasoning.

"Defend yourself from what?"

"Will you teach me?" I asked impatiently.

"No." He replied flatly.

My eyebrows shot up, "What? Why not?"

"You're a girl; I can't teach you how to fight."

I rolled my eyes. He was still shallow and pathetic. "So what? Why can't I learn how to fight?" My voice was rising.

"You don't understand, girls don't fight around here. It's just not something that's not supposed to happen." He looked over at me, "I never said I agree with it but I can't teach you."

"Why not?"

"There's no use in arguing. I said I can't teach you."

"You can't or you won't?"

"What difference does it make?"

"It makes plenty of difference."

He shrugged.

I sighed, "please. You need to understand, I must learn. After- after what happened with the sword…I need to be able to defend myself." I looked up at him expectantly.

He stared down at the ground and I could almost hear him contemplating his thoughts. He looked back up at me, his golden eyes flashing. "Fine." I bit my lip to hold my excitement. "Under one condition."

"And what's that?"

"You listen to everything I tell you, and you don't argue with me."

"Those are two conditions." I looked up at him, he was serious. I nodded "fine. When do we start?"

"Have you eaten?"

"Yeah."

"Are you still tired?'

"No."

"Do you feel sick?"

"No."

"Then we start now." He said flatly. I nodded. He looked over at what I was wearing and sighed. He told me to get a coat and follow him so I did. Being with him, in some ways, made me feel guilty. It made me feel guilty because I felt less grief and pain over my mother. I pushed some of the stray hairs from my braid away from my face and sped up behind him to walk closer to him. We turned through a corner of the estate I had never seen before.

We finally ended up in a large field after crossing a thick forest. The field was a full duel ground. There was a large shed which I guessed held all the weapons and the rest of the field was lines and crossed through with markings for boundaries. I followed Zuko to the shed. He stopped abruptly in front of the shed. "Do you want to learn to fight with or without weapons first?" He asked me.

I looked at him. "Without." I said firmly. He gave me a look and then sighed. We walked back over to the field. He took of his robe, so he was wearing his plain red shirt from underneath. "You should first learn how to block. There are three basic block techniques you should know, the high block, the middle block and the low block." He shot his elbow and his arm in the air, bent towards himself. "This is the high block." I copied him and he nodded approvingly. He now raised his fist and held his arm diagonal across his middle body. "Middle block." He told me. I copied him. "A little more parallel." He told me and I moved it and he nodded. The last block was shooting a fist below your middle body so it would cover your lower abdomen. "Low block." I copied him. He nodded again.

"You use the high block if a person is trying to hit you above your middle body and your middle block for if they are aiming for your middle and you're low block obviously for a low hit." I nodded impatiently. I needed to learn more. I wanted to start fighting. "I won't be teaching you kicks yet, but you can practice throwing hits at your opponents."

He positioned himself in front of me and told me to hit him. I felt strange as I swung my arm from below me towards his face, he gently blocked me. I wasn't actually swinging full power, we were just practicing. "Good. Again." He told me. So I swung middle-to-middle and he blocked again. "That was far too easy for your opponent, find a place that is hard for them to block." I nodded and I swung again, towards the side of his head. He caught my hit and he nodded. "Good, keep going, faster now." So I swung and swung, getting into a rhythm with both of my hands.

He offered me advice and I listened to him carefully and the moves became easier. He showed me how to throw uppercuts and middle cuts. "Can you try hitting me so I can practice my blocks?" I had asked him. He had replied "no" very bluntly. The sun began to set and it created a beautiful glow over the field. I was tired, but I wanted to continue fighting. "Always be the one to hit first." He told me, "this will give you a head start and it will surprise your opponent. Don't give them a chance to strike unless you have to."

I copied all of this information into my head and Zuko left me for a long time to practice swinging and blocking next to a tree. He watched me coolly while sitting under another tree, taking a swig of water from his flask every so often. "Good!" he called out, "Make sure you keep them direct! Keep your arms stiff the entire time, even during the swing!"

I was getting annoyed. I wanted to actually fight someone, I was ready. I shot Zuko looks of annoyance, but he didn't seem to notice as he continued calling out orders. He stood up after a while. "You're a fast learner." He told me. "Tomorrow, we'll practice kicks and then we can start on weapons."

I nodded and pulled off my coat and rolled up the sleeves of my dress, I was hot even though it was cold outside. He led me all the way back to my room. "Tomorrow, come down before the sun rises." I nodded and walked into my room and collapsed onto the bed. I was too tired and hot for dinner, so I fell fast asleep for the first night in many nights, a proper on-time sleep, in which I didn't think about mother the entire night.