After.
Chapter Twenty-Five: Bam
What was the point anymore? Kaidan had clearly used her. Shepard's mission was failing. Cerberus was no longer her purpose for existence. The Illusive Man most likely wanted her dead. The Normandy was no longer within their control. There was an active Geth now on Earth – not to mention EDI.
"This entire mission is a fucking disaster," Miranda commented aloud, as Jacob sat across from her at the local bar they had decided to attend – with drinks in-hand
"What are you talking about? We beat the Collectors," he replied, setting a brightly colored drink in front of her.
"The Collectors were a small part of this, Jacob. The real threat is still coming towards Earth and all other life. That was our mission and here we are. On this rock that humanity calls home."
"How can you talk about Earth like that?"
Miranda took a long drink, "Never been before."
"You've never been to Earth?"
"Why bother? We're much more advanced out there."
"Makes sense I guess. Are you okay? I haven't seen you this out of it, in ages."
"I'm...alright, Jacob. Just trying to figure out what to do next."
"I'm just hoping the Alliance remembers we'd all be dead without Shepard and changes their minds."
"Not likely."
"We can dream."
"What's the point?" Miranda finished off her glass, resting her head on her hand.
"Hey...Miranda?"
Her eyes remained fixated on the table, "What?"
"Look at me."
The woman slowly raised her eyes to meet Jacob's, "What?"
"You need to calm down. We'll figure it out. For now, why not just relax? It's been a really long time since I've seen you just let your hair down."
Miranda smiled slightly, before sighing.
–
"Come here...come here little guy..." Shepard coaxed, as she wiggled her fingers under her new bed at her scared kitten. Joker sat atop her bed, silently watching as the woman sat on all fours, attempting to lure the cat out.
"He'll come out – just let him relax in the new environment a bit," Joker suggested, causing Shepard to stand up – awkwardly straightening her dress blues, "Relax, Gaz."
She sat herself beside Joker on the bed – causing the man to raise his hands to her shoulders. Making gentle but effective circles, Gaz let out a sigh – her eyes closing from the contact.
"Joker..."
He grunted slightly from putting force on her back, "Yeah?"
"I don't know anything about you."
The grounded-pilot blinked, slowing his hand movements on her back, "What?"
"Like I know your personality, but I don't know anything really about your past."
"You already know the basics. Grew up on the Arcturus Station because of mom's work. Was always that awkward kid because of my Vrolik syndrome. Got the nickname 'Joker' because I never smiled. Best pilot in the galaxy...you know...the basics," he smiled, as Shepard leaned her head forward from the movements of his hands on her back, "That's no more than I know about you."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I know you're an Earth orphan who did some shit with gangs, then ended up in the Alliance and here you are."
"I guess I assumed that everyone read my personnel file."
"Why would I do that?"
She shrugged, "I dunno."
"I do normally creep on everyone in the crew, but I liked talking to you better."
"Unlike the rest of the crew?" Shepard asked, her voice pausing for every hand-movement he made on her back.
"Ha. You know I don't like people."
"So I'm an inanimate object? That explains a lot."
"That...would explain a lot."
They were both silent, before Gaz laughed, "My brain took that too far."
"Yeah mine too. Though it made my friendship with EDI make more sense."
Shepard laughed under her breath, before feeling Joker's weight shift.
Gaz jumped slightly at Joker kissed the back of her neck.
"Sorry – didn't mean to scare you."
"It's fine," she smiled lightly to herself, before turning to face him. Her eyes slid to his hat, causing the pilot to remove the item.
"I guess I can't really wear this now," he realized, running his thumb over the emblem, "Cerberus colors and for a ship I don't fly."
"Hold that thought."
Shepard stood from the bed, moving to one of the many bags that held the various items of both Joker and Gaz. After a bit of digging, she returned to the bed, and placed a hat upon Joker's head.
"What the shit?" he asked, sliding his hand up to his head to take a look at the new form of head-cover. In his hand was a blue SSV Normandy hat.
"I...where did you get this?"
"I got hold of my old stuff awhile back and found this with it. Everyone was given a hat," she shrugged, "But I think you'll enjoy it better than me."
Joker's eyes shot back and forth between Shepard and the new hat, "I can't take this from you..."
"You can and will. What happened to your last one anyway?"
"It's..." Joker's eyes dropped to the floor, as the kitten escaped and made a run for his food bowl on the opposite side of the room, "On your memorial."
"Oh."
"Yeah," Joker slid the new hat atop his head – expression vacant.
"What happened after I died?"
Joker's brows furrowed, before his gaze slowly rose to meet Gaz's, "What?"
"When I died...what happened?"
"Gaz..."
"I want to know."
"Basically your death ended the lives of most of the crew," he commented quietly, "While we were still breathing, we could hardly function. Kaidan became an alcoholic. Tali stayed with me for a long while, before going back to the Flotilla. Garrus and I tried to get Kaidan to pull his shit together. It was rough. Really rough..." Joker pulled his hat down to pull his eyes into shadow, "Now I just pretend it was a nightmare and move on."
He stood and made his way to her small kitchen, picking up the kitten in the process and placing the creature on his shoulder, as he investigated the fridge.
Gaz silently sat on her bed, feeling awful for even bringing it up.
"Fridge is empty," he commented, "Hey – want to go out with some people from the crew?" he asked, brushing off their previous conversation as if it didn't happen.
"Who?"
"Uh..." Joker tapped his omni-tool, "Kenneth, Gabby, Patel, Matthews, Cappa, and Kelly."
"Are they inviting me or you?"
"Well – me, but I doubt any of them are going to throw a shit-fit over you coming."
"I did ground everyone."
"Your crew loves you, Gaz."
"Would it be weird if we stopped hiding this?"
"This?" Joker asked, scratching the cat on his shoulder.
"Us."
A smile tugged at the corner's of Joker's mouth, "Showing up to a bar with you on my arm?" he limped over to Gaz, taking her hands, "I would be honored."
–
Kaidan took a long drink of the strange fluid that the bartender had proclaimed was the 'house special'. His head swam and he finished off the glass, wanting his nerves to settle. He had been called back to Earth for Shepard's trial. Anderson had called him personally and told him to kick some order into these idiots – while not getting himself in the same position Shepard found herself in. It was such a mess. All of it. He had a meeting in late-afternoon the following day, which would either make or break Shepard. Luckily, it wasn't common knowledge that he and Shepard were ever involved, so his opinion would not be compromised by feelings – at least in the eyes of those judging his words.
His slurred mind swam back to their last moments on Horizon. The near kiss. The hug. Maybe if he gave it more time, she'd be ready to take him back. And vise-versa. Part of him knew that he really wasn't ready for a full relationship yet. He was still healing. The thought of someday getting Shepard back caused a smile to pull at his lips, as his eyes darted to a group across the room. Familiar faces from the Normandy sat around a medium-sized table. Kelly, Kenneth, Gabby – and a few others. They were all laughing and appearing to have a good time. Two more forms joined the group, joined by their hands. The group all cheered, a few credits appeared to be exchanged as if bets were placed on the appearance of the couple. Then the female form's head turned to the side to say something to the man in a blue hat.
"Gaz...?" he whispered to himself, as the man's head turned towards her.
"That bearded bastard..." he sighed. The alcohol in his veins making it sting more than it should have.
The couple sat down at the group, chatting happily with the rest. Kaidan stared into his fresh glass of...whatever this shit was, slowly shaking his head. All those conversations he had with Joker. The information he had given him. That bastard wanted Shepard for himself, and Kaidan had given him the ammo to turn Gaz right against him. It all made sense now. Joker played him to 'get the girl'. How could that brittle boned pilot handle Gaz? What did she even see in him? He was nothing more than a sarcastic and very sick man. Did she suddenly have a thing for pathetic losers?
Kaidan stared down at his hand, noticing a faint blue glow. He clutched his fist, attempting to calm himself.
Then he noticed Joker walking in his direction. The pilot – who clearly hadn't seen Kaidan – approached the bartender, requesting a round of drinks. Kaidan stood from his bar-stool and approached the pilot, sliding on a fake smile.
"Joker."
The pilot's green eyes shot to Kaidan, "Oh hey – didn't expect to see you here," his eyes darted back to his table.
"How are things?"
"Pretty shitty. We're all grounded and stripped of all rank – including G...Shepard."
"First name basis with Gaz? Huh..."
Joker remained silent, as he adjusted his SSV Normandy blue hat. Apparently he had decided to parade around with the dead ship's insignia on his forehead.
"So what brings you to this place?" Joker asked, after clearing his throat.
"Have you kissed her?"
Fear washed over Joker's face for a brief moment, before it was replaced by forced confusion, "Excuse me?"
"Gaz. Saw you holding her hand when you two walked in. Didn't know she had moved on."
"I..."
"Fucked her yet?"
Joker's expression went from confusion to anger, "How can you talk about her like this?"
"Have you?"
"What does it matter?" Joker's voice growing angrier, "She's not yours, Kaidan, she's a person who can make choices on her own."
"Is that why you turn her against me?"
"You kept pushing her away – what do you expect?"
"After all we've been through, Joker..."
"Oh you mean me saving your ass on a regular basis?" his voice raised. People were starting to stare.
"I didn't ask you to bail me out of that."
"Yeah – well I'm actually a loyal person. I don't turn my back on people when it becomes inconvenient."
Kaidan balled up his fists and tackled Joker to the ground, quickly swinging his hands against the man's face and stomach. He could feel bones crack under his biotic fists, and feel the warmth of blood on his hands. But he didn't want to stop.
"Kaidan!"
Alenko raised his eyes to see Shepard running over – her expression pure anger and...fear? Various emotions rolled over Kaidan, causing his eyes to lower back to Joker with full intent of having at least one more hit before he was forced to stop. However, the fragile pilot had other plans.
A gun was pointed at his stomach. The bloodied man glared at him through his green eyes and whispered, "Fuck...you."
Bam.
–
AN: HOLY SHIT FUCK BALLS! Yes, I react in a sophisticated and classy way. I had this planned for ages. Like...forever and ever. And OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS BLEEDING. Both are fucked up hard. Why do I do this to myself/you guys? Damn. I'm evil. Drunk Kaidan is punchy, apparently. Gah – just so many emotions. Of course I had to throw in some more Miranda, considering her life is pretty much shattered at this point – but she has Jacob. Hopefully she'll be okay. Also, the reason Joker has a gun is quite simple. I figured that after the Collectors raped the pillaged the Normandy, he started to carry a small gun with him. It's a simple head-canon that I felt the need to share with you all.
Oh – and I love your comments, everyone. YOU GUYS ARE SO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN THIS STORY IT'S AWESOME. And yes, I agree. I FORFEIT AS A HUMAN TOO. LET'S BECOME DRELL AND HAVE PERFECT MEMORIES AND LOOK LIKE FISH. Sounds like a plan. I should start a club.
Also – Mass Effect 3 tomorrow.
Rated M for: Language, future sexual situations, violence, and so I can have freedom without fear of scarring a teen for life.
Oh – and I don't own anything ever.