Title: Tainted Star
Chapter 25
Author: Phoenix
Rating: M for strong sexual themes, violence and language.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or anything having do with it.
A/N: Thanks to my beta TheJudge94! Just want to ask please no character or ship bashing on this story. Even if I dislike a character myself, I will not bash them, so I please ask you to do the same. Thank you! Also a big thanks to all my reviewers you guys are amazing and I don't thank you guys enough! Warning: Trigger warnings in effect.
Rachel jolted awake as a sharp pain ran through her side, she cried out as her body stiffened and shook. She felt a pair of soothing hands caress her back in attempt to comfort her. She opened her eyes and expected to find her girlfriend giving her the comforting gesture, but was surprised to find her asleep next to her. She turned herself carefully so not to hurt herself or wake the exhausted girl who had her arms wrapped around her. She smiled warmly when she found Brittany rubbing her back the most concentrated and concerned look, Quinn and Puck sitting on either side of her with matching looks of worry.
"When did you guys get here?" She asked quietly, not wanting to wake Santana.
"About fifteen minutes ago, we didn't want to wake either of you, Armando told us we could just sit here and wait," Puck explained his voice just as soft. Rachel nodded in understanding.
"Where is everyone else?" She asked curiously. She thought for sure everyone would still be crowded in her room.
"Well Kara had to go to work. Tim, Tanya and Artie went home to pack some stuff for you while you're here. Maria and Tony went to get something to eat. Julio is trying to get a hold of some of his professors to talk about how long he can be away from school, though he should know he isn't going to get ahold of anyone on a Sunday. Also Armando is around here somewhere probably looking after some other patients," Quinn explained reaching over to take her tiny bruised hand.
"I don't want Julio missing anymore school because of me. He already missed so much when Tony was hit. I'm not even family," Rachel stated, she really didn't want to mess up anyone's lives because of her stupid mistake.
"You say you're not family one more time and I will deprive you of snuggles for a week," A groggy voice threatened. She turned back to find her girlfriend trying to look stern but failing miserably with her tired eyes.
"Like you could last a week without snuggles either," Rachel challenged with a knowing smirk.
"I can too," Santana argued with a pout making her even less convincing to the group who just giggled at her.
"Sweetie you get really restless if you don't get your snuggles, just face it baby you're a cuddle monster," Rachel said with a chuckle, Santana huffed.
"Whatever, I can't help it that you're an amazing cuddler. Seriously babe, you're like a teddy bear," Santana said trying to save her badassness by sounding nonchalant about it but in the end it didn't help at all. They chuckled again but wisely decided to not make another comment about it. Santana turned to Brittany who had yet to make a sound, and still had this worried and determined look as she continued to massage the diva's back.
"Something wrong B?" Santana asked concerned, she had never seen her best friend go this long without smiling.
"Rae's hurting, I'm trying to make her feel better," Brittany said making everyone smile warmly at her.
"Thank you Brittany, you're making me feel a lot better," She told her, trying to hide the wince but the slight twitch in her face was easily noticed by the others who were paying attention to every little move the small girl made.
"But you're still hurting, I can tell," Brittany said with a frown, her voice missing its usual cheerfulness.
"Do you need some more pain med's babe?" Santana asked wanting to slap herself for not noticing sooner that Rachel was in pain again. Rachel shook her head.
"No, I'm fine," She said, she really did not want to use that stuff unless she really needed to like she did earlier. She didn't want to become dependent on it and she really didn't like how it made her feel. Santana gave her an unconvinced look.
"Rach," Santana started with a long heavy sigh. "If you're in pain you need to let us know, you don't need to be brave for us," She scowled at her, lifting her chin up so that their eyes would meet.
"I'm not trying to be brave, it really isn't that bad. It's more like a dull ache, nothing I can't handle. If it gets worse I promise I'll let you know," Rachel tried to reason but Santana still looked unsure.
"Please 'Tana, I really don't want to take that stuff unless I have to. It makes me feel weird and out of control and I really don't like that feeling," She confessed. Santana sighed and nodded.
"Alright but if I find out you're trying to keep up a brave face it's not going to be pretty Rachel Barbra Berry," Santana warned, Rachel smiled at her gratefully.
"I promise," She said truthfully and cuddled back into the Latina's side. She looked over at Brittany who was still frowning and sighed. This whole situation just sucked.
The group of high school seniors made small talk carefully avoiding the topic of what had happened the past couple days. They all just wanted to bask in the relief that it was finally over. Rachel was safe and Hiram was in jail. Maybe now they could finally go on with their lives without having to look over their shoulders. Rachel started to grow restless and shift in the bed uncomfortably. She joints were growing stiff from not moving and she just wanted to get up and walked around a bit.
"What's wrong babe?" Santana asked as the girl turned in her arm with the fifth time in the past five minutes.
"My joints are stiff, I really want to get up and try to walk a bit," She said with a hopeful look. She was never one stay immobile for long periods of time and she could feel the circulation of her blood not flowing correctly.
"Let's see what Elise says okay?" She said after a short moment of contemplating it. She didn't want Rachel to over exert herself but she also didn't want her to be more uncomfortable then she already was if it was avoidable. Elise entered almost immediately after she had pressed the call button.
"You rang?" She asked smiling at the group of teens.
"Rach wants to get up and move a little if that alright, she said her joints are stiff," Santana explained and Elise nodded.
"Of course she can, as long as someone is there to help her walk then it's a great idea. I was going to come in soon and suggest it anyway," Elise told them already moving towards the IV to move it to the portable stand.
Puck and Santana carefully helped Rachel sit up so that her legs were dangling over the hospital bed, her feet not even touching the floor. Elise grabbed a special pair of socks so that she wouldn't slip on the cold hard floor. Rachel slowly scooted off the bed and started to stand slowly with Santana and Elise bracing her on both sides. Her legs shook under her, not used to supporting her weight anymore. They would have given out on her if it wasn't for Santana and Elise holding her up. Elise carefully moved away once Rachel had gotten use to standing again and let Santana support her girlfriend on her own. Santana kept one hand on the diva's shoulder and the other around her waist, ready to catch her if she need to.
"Umm guys, you might want to um. . . Cover up before going out into the halls," Quinn's timid and unsure voice said.
Santana looked over at her friend questioningly to find her averting her eyes away from the pair. Puck also had his eyes averted away though she could tell he was contemplating looking back at them. Brittany however was looking with no shame and a small smirk. Santana looked down and quickly realized what was going on. The flimsy hospital gown wasn't tied well enough, and her backside could be seen through the opening on the back of the gown. Rachel looked back and quickly pulled the gown together to cover herself, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. Elise handed Santana the gowns jacket and helped Rachel into it so that she remained covered. Santana signaled to Puck and Quinn they could look again as Rachel hide her completely red face in Santana's neck. When Santana felt tears she pulled away slightly and moved Rachel's chin up so that she could look in mortified eyes.
"Don't be embarrassed love, it happens," She attempted to reassure her; she kept a strong hold on her just in case her legs decided to give out. Rachel shook her head and continued crying.
"Shh baby, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You've got a cute little backside," Santana complimented with a smirk. She really hoped she didn't sound like a pervert, but hey this was her girlfriend she was allowed to compliment her and remind her of how sexy she was.
"That's true," Brittany confessed causing everyone to stop and look at the slow blonde. An awkward silence passed over them as Brittany just smiled at them. Rachel eyes went wide and blushed even a deeper shade of red.
"Um. . . okay, well girls why don't you start walking. I think up and down the hall twice will do for now, then maybe later or tomorrow if you're up to it Rachel we can try a walk around the whole ward," Elise said with a awkward smile trying to alleviate the embarrassment the young girl felt from being exposed to her friends.
"When can I take a walk outside?" Rachel asked hopefully, she missed the fresh air so much. It's been days since she got a chance to be outside and truly enjoy it.
"We'll see how you're doing tomorrow and then I'll let Dr. Lopez and your actual doctor decide, okay?" She asked, she understood the girl's cabin fever but right now she was still just too sick. Rachel sighed but nodded.
Slowly Santana and Rachel started their walk up and down the hall. Each step was careful and deliberate. Nurses and other patients smiled at the pair as they continued their journey. Their walk took a lot longer than it would normally because of how hard it was for Rachel to walk right now. She didn't expect for her legs to be this sore and they just felt completely like jelly, but the slight ache was worth being able to get out of bed. Half way on their second time coming back Rachel suddenly stopped feeling light headed as another nose bleed began.
"Whoa, okay I think that's enough walking," Santana said waving Elise over who had been watching the couple carefully the entire time.
Santana rubbing soothing circle on the small of Rachel's back as the diva used her hand that wasn't holding on to the IV pole to her nose. Elise arrived with a wheelchair and helped the diva into it and then handed the young girl a wad of tissues. Once they arrived back to Rachel's room, Puck jumped to help Santana get Rachel back into bed. Brittany's eyes went wide when she saw the blood.
"Calm down B, she's fine," Santana assured her best friend, seeing the signs of her going into panic mode.
"But why is she bleeding? Did someone hit her, should I send Lord Tubbington to kick their asses?" Brittany asked seriously. Rachel giggles from behind the tissue and gave the blonde a reassuring smile.
"I'm fine Britt, no one hit me. Just a little nose bleed, it will stop soon," Rachel tried to reassure. Brittany kept looking at her carefully frowning deeper as Rachel had to change out the tissue for another one when it became to bloody.
"I'm going to get some of your medication to help with your clotting. That should help at least slow this nose bleed," Elise said before leaving the room.
Santana crawled back into the bed next to Rachel and helped the diva cuddle into her side. The Latina wasn't feeling the best herself, she was exhausted and she still hadn't been able to shake this cold she got from being out in the cold for so long in just her Cheerio's uniform. Elise had given Rachel the medication and the bleeding finally stopped after a frustrating ten minutes. Quinn, Puck and Brittany left shortly after not wanting to overwhelm Rachel too much. Rachel looked over at Santana who was barely staying awake; she reached over and felt the darker girl's forehead.
"San, you should go home and get some rest," Rachel said pleadingly. She didn't want her girlfriend running herself into the ground because of her. She was safe and looked after here in the hospital; the Latina should be able to take at least a few hours if not a day to herself to get better.
"I'm fine babe," She said with a tired smile.
"Please don't lie to me," Rachel sighed, if Santana wanted her to be honest with how she felt then she expected the same from the cheerleader. "You're exhausted and you still have that cold. Baby you need to take care of yourself," The singer said as sternly as she could manage in her weakened state.
"I'm not leaving you Rach, you freaked out at the idea of me leaving the room when you talked to Tony. I'm not going to abandon you when you need me the most right now," Santana said stubbornly. Rachel rolled her eyes at her.
"I'll be fine, yea it'll be hard to be away from you right now, but you need to take care of yourself. I need you to stay strong, I don't like seeing you sick like this," Rachel said truthfully, reaching up to gently stroke Santana's cheek. The cheerio closed her eyes and leaned into the touch.
"It's not just about you needing me here either," Santana confessed her eyes still closed. Rachel looked up at her curiously. "I need to be here with you. This morning I had a nightmare and after I woke up I just had this overwhelming feeling of anxiety that just wouldn't go away until I was back here with you," She finished tears in her eyes, Rachel wiped them away gently.
"Oh baby, I am so sorry this is hurting you so much," Rachel said solemnly. Santana shook her head and laced her fingers through Rachel's.
"The reality that I could lose you was almost too much for me to bear. I love you so much and I can't imagine not being able to grow old with you. So being here with you now is giving me a lot more peace of mind then if I was at home worrying, and anyway what better place to be when you're sick then in a hospital," Santana joked at the end, earning a small laugh from Rachel.
"Do you really think our relationship will survive out of high school? Because statistics say. . ."
"Fuck the statistics; I know I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I have never been surer of anything in my entire life. I don't know what will happen in the future, but if I have it my way we're going to be together forever," Santana cut her off, kissing her brow sweetly.
"But what if. . ." Again she was cut off by the cheerleader.
"No what if's, look what we've been through already babe. We've survived all this crap, we can survive whatever else the world has to throw at us," She assured causing her girlfriend to smile and kiss her cheek.
"Alright you can stay as long as you promise to actually rest and not just fuss over me," Rachel said sternly with that scary voice that reminded her of her mothers. She wouldn't admit to it, but that voice scared her.
"Yes mom," She mocked earning an eye roll from the diva. "It's not like you won't be sleeping most the time anyway," She told her with a smile, Rachel just smiled back and didn't even attempt to deny it as her eyes grew noticeably heavy again. When Tim, Tanya and Artie arrived ten minutes later they found both girls sound asleep.
Santana was being forced to take cold medicine that her father prescribed to her and she wasn't happy about it at all, but one pointed look from Rachel had her gulping down the medicine like a scared little girl. Rachel had changed into a pair of loose fitting pajama pants and a button up sleep shirt that the Abrams' had brought for her so that she didn't have to continue to wear that awful, uncomfortable hospital gown. She was also relieved that this meant no more wardrobe malfunctions. She specifically wore the button up shirts so that the nurses and doctors would have easy access to the wires and tubes if needed. She wished she could wear one of her favorite sweatshirts instead but understood why it was necessary.
Artie had made sure they packed Rachel black bear from her dad and the build-a-bear Santana had gotten her. That way she felt more at ease when she had no choice but to be alone at the hospital. Julio had come back to let her know that he had to head back to school on Tuesday because he just couldn't take any more time off. Rachel of course understood and spent nearly fifteen minutes berating him for even considering neglecting his school work for her. This answer only received an eye roll and an amused humoring nod.
Before any of them knew it the day was once again coming to an end. Everyone including Santana was forced to leave the hospital once visiting hours were over - though the Latina took her time saying goodnight to her girlfriend, peppering her face with soft kisses and promises that she would be back early the next morning. She grabbed the build-a-bear from the table beside her and tucked it into the small singer's side before placing one last kiss goodnight on her forehead and followed her family out.
Both girls made it through the night without any nightmares and no incidents from ignorant nurses, both holding the stuffed animals that the other had given to them close: though one certainly had pain medication to help her stay in a peaceful sleep. The next day was filled with more visits from New Directions. Most only staying a short time because they didn't want to overwhelm the diva or keep her from her much needed rest, but people like Puck, Quinn and Brittany stayed until they were kicked out. Though those three it didn't really matter because they knew how to keep quiet when Rachel was resting. Kurt and Mercedes on the other hand was a whole different story.
"I swear it was the scariest thing I have ever gone through. I swear we were all out till one in the morning searching for you every day and even then we had to be forced to go home," Kurt explained with enthusiasm.
He just couldn't get over the shock of one of his best friends being in that much danger and almost losing her forever. Rachel was his fellow gay diva, he related to her in a way that he couldn't even relate to Mercedes who was his best friend. He didn't know what he would do without her anymore and he just couldn't believe that he once treated her as horribly as everyone else in this stupid town when he knew what it was like to be treated that way. He was just so happy that she gave him another chance, and even more ecstatic that, that chance wasn't cut short by that sorry excuse for a human being.
Santana glared at Kurt from her spot next to Rachel. The last thing her diva needed to be reminded of right now was what went on with the rest of them while she was being forced to drink poison and getting slapped around. Rachel for her part gave a stiff pained smile. She loved Kurt and the rest of her friend and was truly grateful for everything each of them had done to help find her. She just wished her gossip loving friend had better timing at bringing up topics like this.
"It was like watching a horror movie, only one you were a part of and couldn't stop when you got to scared," Mercedes continued to ramble on, Kurt sitting beside her agreeing. Santana felt Rachel stiffen more and more with every little detail that the two brought up. She knew she was picturing all her friend exhausted looking for her for hours with no success or chance in finding her. She needed to put an end to this before Rachel got too much into her own head and not only started reliving her own experience during the time she was kidnapped but also to start once again blaming herself for everything they went through on this end of the situation.
"Enough!" She barked out causing the ramblings diva's to stop mid-sentence. Rachel looked up at her with a mixture of gratefulness and scolding. She probably just didn't like that she resorted to yelling.
"We are just having a conversation Santana, no need to get snappy," Kurt snapped back trying to save his dignity from getting yelled at. Santana shook her head at him.
"Well this 'conversation' is upsetting her. So either pick a different topic or don't speak at all," Santana warned her HBIC glare in place. Kurt and Mercedes took a really good look at Rachel for the first time since they arrived. She was buried into Santana's side doing her best to hide herself from the world, her body was tense and her knuckles were turning white from the tight grip they had on had on Santana's shirt. Both divas' wanted to yell at themselves for not realizing how much they were upsetting her.
"Sorry Rach," Kurt said his voice suddenly soft and sullen.
"Yeah, we didn't mean to upset you. We're just so happy to have you back," Mercedes agreed, her voice also taken down quick a bit. Rachel poked her head out from it's hiding spot and gave her friends an encouraging smile.
"It's okay," She sniffed her voice small and strained. All three looked at her with concern; they hoped they didn't push her too far that she was retreating back into herself.
"Why don't we talk about Valentine's Day, this will be the first year we all have dates!" Kurt said excitedly. Mercedes and Rachel giggled at him as Santana groaned banged her head back a little on the pillow.
"Kurt that's like three week away," Santana groaned out she seriously did not want to get caught up in all this mushy shit unless she was alone with her girlfriend. She seriously had her limits about revealing her soft side to other people who weren't Rachel.
"I know I should have started planning last month, but I just got so distracted by everything," He sighed exaggeratedly, unaware of what Santana actually meant by that statement.
"I'm sure you'll plan something wonderful Kurt, Blaine will love whatever you come up with because he loves you," Rachel assured lying her head back on Santana's chest and nuzzles it until she was comfortable.
"Hey, they aren't pillows little girl," Santana joked as she poked a reddening cheek lightly.
"They are today," Rachel retorted back softly, though slightly unconvincing because her blush just grew deeper as she said it. The other three just laughed at her attempt and smiled fondly at her.
"Whatever you say babe," Santana said pulling her impossibly closer.
"So Mercedes any plans with Sam yet for Valentine's Day?" Kurt asked quick to get back to his girl talk that he loved so much. Santana bit her lip to keep from groaning in disapproval again.
"I don't know I think he wants to surprise me, at least that's what he keeps hinting at," Mercedes told them; Kurt tilted his head to the head and awed. Rachel smiled, while Santana just rolled her eyes.
"I bet he's planning something extremely romantic, he seems like the type who would be into the big romantic gestures," He swooned with a dreamy look on his face, obviously thinking about Blaine planning some big romantic date for him.
"So what are you two lovely ladies planning for Valentine's Day?" Kurt asked gesturing towards the two girls in the hospital bed. Santana froze because she had no idea what they were doing yet, she's been too busy worrying about Rachel's well-being.
"I don't think I should talk about that with my girlfriend sitting right here, wouldn't want to give away the surprise now would we?" She asked smirking up at Santana playfully. Kurt nodded taking the whole thing very seriously.
"Who says you'll be surprising me, I plan on giving you the best Valentine's Day ever," Santana countered smirking back.
"You do that baby, but I'm still going through with the plans I have for you," She said pulling her down by her neck so that their lips could meet for the first time in days.
They both got lost in the sensual touch. This kiss was soft and slow, they were just enjoying the missed feelings of the lips melding together, bringing them closer not just physically but emotionally. They pulled apart at the sound of a loud cough. Santana growled and looked over at the two divas', not liking the interruption after being deprived from her lover for so long. Both divas' were holding up their hands in innocence. Santana's brow furrowed together in confusion that is until they pointed towards the door. When Santana and Rachel turned their heads towards the door the singer froze while the cheerleader's growl grew deeper. Shelby entered the room timidly unsure of what to make of the scene before her.
"Hey, I just wanted to see how you're doing. Dr. Lopez said you were feeling more up to visitors today," She greeted holding her hands up as a peace offering as Santana continued to give her a look that could kill.
"I didn't even know you knew I was here," Rachel said softly, unsure of how to react to her birth mother.
"I've known since you disappeared. Tim called me to let me know, I wanted to come sooner but I was asked to wait because you just weren't up for visitors," Shelby explained. Kurt and Mercedes squirmed awkwardly before standing up.
"We're going to head out, we'll come by tomorrow around the same time alright," Mercedes said giving Rachel a hug after she nodded and then gave Santana one as well.
"Take care of yourself diva, you to Satan," Kurt told them with a smirk, while giving them both a hug each.
"Watch it Porcelain," Santana said smirking back and with that the two divas' left, leaving them with a very awkward looking Shelby.
"Please sit down Shelby," Rachel offered politely, which Shelby did. "Baby, could you help me sit up please?" Rachel asked not comfortable with lying on her girlfriend's chest in front of her birth mother. Though it was completely innocent she just felt too vulnerable in that position and she wasn't ready to let her guard down in front of Shelby just yet. Santana understood and help the girl into a sitting position, so that she could still lean into her side but she wasn't lying practically on top of her.
"So how are you feeling?" Shelby asked after the small girl was settled. Santana rolled her eyes at the question. How did she think she was doing after being kidnapped and given poison?
"A little better, still exhausted but the nose bleeds and the gum bleeds are happening less often then yesterday and they are taking less time to stop," Rachel explained her voice stiff and guarded.
"That's good," Shelby nodded unsure of what else to say. She was extremely happy and relieved that her daughter was doing better, but now she just didn't know where to go from here. Rachel sighed at the older woman's hesitance.
"Shelby I'm glad you're here, I really am. But I am kind of still confused by the suddenness of it, just. . . what are you expecting from me?" Rachel asked she had wondered this the first time Shelby had showed up at her school. She still didn't believe the older woman could want to be in her life without wanting something from her.
"I'm not expecting anything from you, I promise. Like I said last time we talked I just want a chance to be in your life, in any way you'll have me," She told her truthfully.
"I still don't trust you," Rachel told her point blank.
"Neither do I." Santana growled. Shelby nodded.
"I understand that and accept that. I'm not planning on leaving and I'll still be here whenever you are ready. I realize me being here right now may be a bit too soon, but I had to see for myself that you were alright," Shelby said moving her hand to rub her daughter's knee but awkwardly stopped herself before touching her. Realizing quickly it was way too soon to be offering that kind of comfort.
"I'm touched and I appreciate that, I really do. I know last time we talked I told you the only reason I'm giving you a chance if for Quinn, Puck and Beth, but I would be lying to you and myself if I didn't confess that I want some kind of relationship with you. I'm just not sure what kind of relationship that can be yet," Rachel admitted, biting her chapped lip, her gums were unable to take the sharp teeth and quickly started to bleed again. Shelby noticed first and instantly grabbed some tissues that were sitting beside the bed. She fought back the mothering instinct to hold the tissues to the girls mouth herself and handed the tissues over to Santana who soon after figured out the problem and held the tissues to the injured lips.
"I'm happy to hear that Rach, I want you to take as much time as you need. We'll take this as your pace and just so you know I do not want to take the spot Kara now has in your heart, I didn't understand before the night they found you, but Kara has the place of your heart as your mom. I promise I don't want to take that away from you or her," Shelby promised. Rachel and Santana found themselves both shocked. They didn't think Shelby would respect that boundary; that honestly went a long way with them in getting there to trust Shelby.
"Thank you," was all Rachel said and with that Shelby said her goodbye and once again stressed that she would be here whenever she was ready.
"Wow that was awkward," Santana laughed as the nervous tension slowly left the room.
"Yeah, but I think I feel a little better about giving her a chance. I'm not saying I'm going to welcome her back with open arms the next time I see her, but this, it gave me a little more hope that she's actually serious," Rachel said moving back to her previous cuddle position before Shelby had arrived.
"I'm happy for you babe. Just know no matter what I'm here for you and I will always be on your side," Santana promised. Rachel smiled at the Hispanic girl that kissed her head, feeling extremely loved.
Santana looked up at the sound of someone knocking at the door. She expected to find one of their friends or family member's, because she knew nurses and doctors didn't knock before entering. She tensed up at who she found there. Rachel looked up when she felt her girlfriend stiffen; when she looked over to what she was looking at she had the same reaction. Standing there beside Armando were the two detectives that had been working her case from the beginning.
"Papi, what's going on?" Santana asked running her fingers through her girlfriends hair to keep them both calm.
"The detectives want to ask Rachel some question, that if you feel up to it Rach," He explained. Rachel took in a deep breath and nodded. She knew she was going to have to do this sooner or later, might as well get it over with.
"Hi Rachel," the female detectives greeted entering the hospital room followed closely by her male partner.
"I take it you want to stay with her?" She asked Santana, cringing at the death look that she got from the girl. "Okay stupid question," She admitted and Santana nodded stiffly letting her know that is most definitely was.
"So I know we've talked before but in case you forgot I'm Detective Wildeman," the male detective introduced. "This is my partner Detective Cary," He said pointing at his female partner.
"I remember," She said her voice quiet and soft. She fighting not to bury herself back into her hiding place this is Santana's neck, the way she had been every time something comes up that was too hard for her to deal with.
"Alright as you know we have him in jail and we have a lot of evidence against him," Cary began hoping give the girl some good news and make her more comfortable with talking to them.
"We need to know what happened, from the beginning to end," Wildeman explained.
"You can do it baby," Santana whispered, she kissed the top of her head before lying her own on top of the diva's. The detectives watched the girls curiously. There had obviously been a change between the girls since they saw them together last, and they were pretty sure they knew what it was.
"I found a note in my backpack, I thought it was from Santana so I put it back in my bag to read later," She began after taking in a deep breath. "We had found out that day that it was my dad who had ran over Tony, her little brother. Santana ran away and I was so afraid of losing her," She said beginning to cry. Remembering how she felt like her whole world was going to collapse when she didn't know where girlfriend was and if she was okay. She began crying even harder when she remembered once again that she had put her through an even more painful experience when she did her own disappearing act.
"Shh mi Estrella, everything's going to be okay. I'm right here with you, I'm not going anywhere," the Latina reassured keeping all her focus on every movement and sound the diva made, to make sure she didn't miss any signs of any impending panic attacks. After a few minutes Rachel swallowed hard, took a deep breath and continued with her story.
"After we found San, I finally read the note. It was from my dad, threatening to hurt Santana the way he hurt Tony. I just made a rash decision got on the bus and went to meet him with the address he provided. I left the note behind thinking that someone would find it and then come and find me before anything really bad happened. I didn't expect him to force me out of the motel and into his car. I swear I fought him, I promise I didn't want to go with him, I just wanted to protect you," Rachel cried speaking directly to Santana now. Santana wiped away her own tears before wiping away Rachel's as well.
"I know you fought baby and that you didn't want to go with him and just wanted to protect me. You were so brave throughout the whole things. Everything is his fault, not yours," She said passionately. "Do you hear me? This is not your fault!" She exclaimed holding her a bit tighter and kissing her temple.
"She's right Rachel, none of this is your fault, it's his. He knew he had that control over you still, he knew you would do anything to protect the one you care about." Wildeman spoke reminding the two once again that they weren't alone.
"I love her!" Rachel informed him fiercely. He took a step back and held up his hands in surrender.
"Yes ma'am," he agreed with a smile. Santana smiled at her diva with pride.
"Can you tell us what happened when you got to the farm house?" Cary asked carefully and immediately the air thinned once again as tension filled the room. Santana wasn't even sure she wanted to be in here for this. She hadn't heard specifics about what happened. Just that he filled her up with poison and slapped her around quite a bit. She was almost afraid to hear Rachel relive her pain.
"He threw me down the basement stairs," She continued her voice trailing off into a mono tone void of all emotions. Which worried Santana and the detectives greatly.
"He started accusing me of spreading lies about the family and told me if my friend knew what a selfish bitch I was then they would agree that I deserved everything I got. When he insulted Santana I tried to push him but he just pushed me back onto the ground. He told me if I didn't do as he said he would make sure something worse would happen to her. So I drank what he gave me," She continued her voice cracking through it's mask a little before she quickly put it back into place, but it gave them hope that she wasn't completely turning in on herself.
"I got sick really quickly, but he kept forcing me to drink it no matter how much I kept throwing up. He told me he never wanted me, that if he had to have a child he wanted a boy and then he accused me again of killed daddy. I snapped again though, and accused of him being the one to work him up to that point of having the heart attack," Santana felt another burst of pride, she knew Rachel before actually believed she was to blame for Leroy's death and the fact that she stood up to Hiram about that showed her there was still hope Rachel could recover and move on.
"He snapped after that, got a look in his eyes that I have never seen before. He grabbed me by the throat and started to choke me. He said some more stuff that I can hardly remember because I was becoming so dizzy. The only thing I do remember is him telling me if that I had to die or Santana would take my place. I thought he would end it then, it was becoming so hard to breath, I just wanted to close my eyes and give into sleep, but he wouldn't let me he let go and made me drink more of that poison," Santana allowed herself to look at Rachel's neck for the first time since she arrived at the hospital and felt herself almost break. The dark hand shaped bruises standing out against otherwise flawless skin. She wanted to murder this man for ever laying a hand on this beautiful girl.
The detectives were taking attentive notes. Santana kept focus on Rachel noticing she was no longer able to stay behind the mask as her voice became fill with so much emotion it was becoming difficult to understand her.
"Please tell me you have everything you need," Santana begged hugging Rachel close to her as she cried hysterically into her chest.
"Yes we do. We'll let you both know when the court date is." Cary explained shakily putting her pad away. She was forcing herself to stay emotionally detached but seeing that girl break down was forcing her walls to crumble.
"Court date?" Rachel squeaked with a hiccup.
"Yes, you need to appear in court to testify against him," Wildeman explained gently. He hated this part of the job, putting victims through this pain, but he knew it was necessary.
"Don't you have enough evidence to do that without her?" Santana asked pleadingly. She wasn't sure Rachel could handle the emotional stress that would come with a trial.
"I'm afraid we can't. Without Rachel's testimony none of the evidence will be credible," Santana placed her hand on the back of Rachel head and held her and softly massaged her scalp trying to keep herself from freaking out. The detectives left without another word.
"I can't testify 'Tana, he's going to be there. I can't face him again," Rachel cried clinging to the girl she loved as if her life depended on it.
"You can do it baby girl, I know you can," She said as if she was trying to convince herself.