Snow fell around Hogwarts, and Christmas closed in on them mercilessly.
Hermione had to admit how much on edge she was. All the singing, decorating and jumping around in expectation went badly with her real frame of mind. One afternoon, she blasted a singing Christmas gnome to a thousand pieces before even noticing what she had done. It had sprung at her from behind an armour, and reflexes had taken over. Luckily, she had been alone at the time, but she felt rather badly for the poor thing.
All Ron and Harry would talk about were the Christmas holidays, how much fun they would have and how cosy and wonderful it would be, sitting around the Christmas tree with every single Weasley available.
Luckily, they attributed Hermione´s lack of enthusiasm to the problems with her parents and didn´t press her to join in.
The general noise in the Common Room had reached a level unbearable to her, and she spent even more time in Snape´s quarters or her own room, studying, reading or fighting.
That was why, on the second evening before the end of term, Severus found her in the gym, sweating all over and panting but more relaxed than she could remember for a long time.
"I hate Christmas", she told him without breaking the rhythm of her punches.
"Welcome to the club", he smirked.
"The students are bad enough", she continued, moving on to sit ups, "But the professors… Dumbledore is running around as if he expects eternal sunshine and ice cream for everyone!"
"And who´d want ice cream in this weather", Severus grinned, walking over to the window and watching the dark clouds that emptied snow on the castle.
She grunted in agreement and concentrated on her high kicks. When she had run through her full series of exercises, she felt a presence behind her and whirled around, just in time to block and trap his fist.
He lowered his hands, and as she grinned at him, dropped something into her hand.
"This, Hermione, is a knife", he said, quite unnecessarily.
"Now really", she retorted mockingly, "And I had thought it a rubber duck."
"Knives", he went on, simply ignoring her joke, "are, when handled expertly, among the most dangerous weapons there are. You can take them with you wherever you go, hide them in your hand or under your clothes, and they may give you just the advantage you´ll need in a tight spot."
"Plus they are nearly impossible to block even with a sword", Hermione added, "At least, that´s what my aunt told me."
"Clever aunt."
"So you want me to learn fighting with this?", she asked him, not sure whether she liked the idea.
"I would recommend it. Especially because it is what I´m best at", he flashed her a smile.
"Oh, don´t tell me there´s something you´re not perfect at", she teased him, "It would give me the shock of the year!"
"Brat", he shot back, then walked to the side of the room and removed his robes. Attired in nothing but shirt and black linen trousers, he returned and moved into attack position. She copied his every movement, not noticing that she was grinning with excitement.
Knives – more dangerous, but certainly more fun.
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The great Christmas trees were erected on the last morning of the term, unfortunately during breakfast. Hermione sighed and lowered her head to hide her annoyance. So much fuss, only to create dozens of convenient hiding places for attackers.
Her gaze darted over to Severus, who was sitting at the High Table with a huge scowl on his face. As if having felt her eyes on him, he met her gaze and sent a single word.
Humbug!
Hermione choked as pumpkin juice collided with her laughter somewhere down her throat. Ron and Harry had to slap her back and did so rather too vigorously to her liking. There had been another meeting the night before, and her back was still sore.
She sensed Severus´ concern and flashed him a short I´m all right, don´t worry.
He smirked at her, Constant vigilance, his thoughts thundered in her mind, such a good imitation of Mad-eye Moody´s barking that she started coughing and laughing again.
When she left the Great Hall, she noticed Draco and moved her head to the left in a short, barely noticeable gesture. But he understood. When she had excused herself from the Gryffindors and gone in search for her "lost book somewhere in the Great Hall", he was already waiting for her in their favourite storage room.
He embraced her so tightly she could barely breathe, but it didn´t matter. Of all the good things that had happened to her during the last weeks, this was perhaps the best. To have her Draco back, her only friend.
But he wasn´t her only friend any longer, and since they had applied the spell, he had even developed a way of interacting with Severus, albeit a rather tentative and nervous one, mainly based, as he had once told her, on the fact that "Snape was obviously good for her".
"Gods, I don´t want you to go there", she whispered now, terrified with the prospect of cold, unforgiving Malfoy Manor and the dangerous madman that lurked inside, "Be careful, will you?"
"Course I will", he answered her, but the intensity of the embrace only increased, "I´m his only heir, remember?" The bitterness in his voice made her heart bleed for him.
"Try to spend some time with your mother, and don´t risk anything! If something happened to you, Draco…"
"Nothing will happen", he reassured her, "Will you take care of yourself in turn?"
She smiled at him. "I promise. And if not, Severus will force me to."
She said goodbye to Ron and Harry after lunch, telling them that she would floo from McGonagall´s office.
"It´s quite difficult to get to the safe house", she explained, hugging both of them quickly, "A Ministry worker will accompany me. Now you two, take care of yourselves and don´t run any risks."
"Same goes for you, Mione", Ron replied, "And when it all becomes too much – the Burrows is always open for you."
"Thank you guys. Have a wonderful Christmas!"
She waved them out of the entrance door, then returned to her Head Girl´s room. Packing the belongings she thought she´d need over the holidays, she carried her trunk over to McGonagalls office. The Professor was out, but had left her door open as agreed the night before
Hermione didn´t know what her Head of House was thinking about her Christmas domicile, but her surprise at the long and deep friendship between McGonagall and Severus had taught her never to underestimate the woman again.
Inside the room, she shrunk her trunk and slipped on the invisibility cloak Severus had given to her. At exactly five past two, the office´s door opened and in walked Professor McGonagall.
"Ah, Miss Granger", she said in a clear, carrying voice, "I´m sorry you had to wait."
"It doesn´t matter, Professor", Hermione answered as clearly and slipped through under McGonagalls arm that held the office door wide open.
"Have a nice holiday, Hermione", the teacher whispered, waited another second, and closed the door behind her.
It was a strange feeling, stepping through the magic tapestry and knowing that this would be her home for the next two weeks. Strange, but nice in a heart warming sort of way.
Going all teary again, Hermione, she smirked. But then, why not. It was Christmas, after all.
She unpacked her luggage, returned to the library and chose a book. Severus wouldn´t arrive till the evening, having to supervise the boarding of the Hogwarts Express and mingle among his colleagues afterwards.
Jane kept her company during dinner, and entertained her with childhood stories from Severus. Some were enormously funny, and Hermione found herself giggling like a teenager, something she had sworn solemnly never to do.
From the sound of it, Severus rooms at home had experienced as many explosions as the twins place at the Burrows. Perhaps even more. And she would certainly mention the number of his melted cauldrons when he´d complain about Neville the next time.
She did notice that Jane avoided all mentioning of Severus´ parents, but decided that the thought of the very people who had thrown Jane out of their house would probably ruin the evening.
In turn, she treated Jane with a detailed account of her determined work on behalf of the house elves, something she found sadly funny in retrospection. How naïve she had been! But Jane wouldn´t hear it.
"It was a good idea, darling", she said firmly, "And you had the right goals in mind. But it couldn´t work. The world is changed in here", she pointed her finger against her forehead. "As long as the house elves don´t realize their rights, nothing will ever change their treatment. Oh, if we´d only manage to unite, we´d be a force to reckon with", she twisted her row of pearls dreamily.
Finally, Jane disposed of their meal´s remains with a snap of her fingers and left her, heading off for some committee meeting or whatever she was spending her evening with.
Hermione resumed reading, but a strange, warm feeling rising in her stomach kept her from concentrating. Only when the magic tapestry glowed and the tall black figure of Severus stepped through, did she recognize the fluttering feeling in her belly.
She was actually looking forward to Christmas.
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The next days passed without any major catastrophes, injuries or crises. In a way, one could have called them peaceful.
Hermione and Severus settled into a steady rhythm easily enough. They – or at least Severus, who had turned out to be the night owl she had always assumed him to be – would sleep long, meet for breakfast, train a couple of hours, spent their afternoons on their own and meet again for dinner and evening training.
Often they would sit together in the library, he at his desk, she in her personal armchair, she reading, he grading essays or drafting articles. Muttered comments or criticisms – both were used to talk with the text in front of them if it angered or surprised them - would lead to lengthy discussions about the strangest topics. Sometimes, Severus would rush her up into his lab to prove his theory, or she would select a book from his library and read aloud to him, simply ignoring his thrown in, lengthy comments.
Oh yes, he had shown her his lab, and she had been overwhelmed by it. Sun streamed through it for most parts of the day, and the long rows of wooden shelves held every potion ingredient she had ever heard of, and some more. The room had breathed friendliness, discipline to her. It had smelled like home.
She would watch him prepare his potions, marvelling at the expertise of his long, slender fingers and the concentration that seemed to emanate from him whenever he worked. Sometimes, she would assist him, but she felt content enough just sitting their, following his every movement and memorising the lectures he delivered absently.
Her Dark Mark hadn´t burnt since the end of term. Sons and daughters had returned to their Death Eater parents´ home, and even the Dark Lord seemed to want an undisturbed holiday.
It was a wonderful time, surely the best since Hermione had decided to become a spy. She could have spent her life like this, researching, talking, sharing thoughts. She felt a twinge of bitterness at the realization that she had only found this by sacrificing the life she might have had. But it was a very small bitterness, and the golden days made her forget it easily.
And all too soon, Christmas had arrived.
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"I hate Christmas presents", Snape said coolly, "Everybody has realized that by now and doesn´t expect them from me."
"Obviously, it doesn´t keep them from sending you presents", Hermione, who had sent her presents away by owl that morning, commented, and watched the large pile of presents and the Christmas tree with a mixture of astonishment and exasperation.
It had been a compromise, Severus had explained, forged between him and Jane years ago. She would insist on a tree, a real, big one, and he would insist that it shouldn´t disturb him. So they had settled on a fir tree, decorated in dark red and black.
It was the strangest Christmas tree she had ever seen, but when she had descended from her room on Christmas eve, and her eyes had fallen on the two dark clad figures, one towering over the other, decorating it and bickering all the time, it had seemed quite appropriate.
"This tree is scary", she announced now, walking around it and eyeing the decoration warily.
"Yes, it is quite fitting", he agreed, and met her fit of laughter with a good natured grin.
Having given up on the matter of trees and decorations, Severus seemed nevertheless determined to ignore the significance of the day as much as possible, harassing her into training directly after breakfast.
She felt like collapsing when they returned to the living quarters, even though Severus had healed her bruises and the ankle she had overstretched. She still wasn´t a match for him, but she was getting better and better, and from the glint in his eyes she could see that he was starting to enjoy their sparring.
She opted for a long, hot bath and buried herself in bubbles, thinking how much a part of herself these rooms and inhabitants had become over so short a time.
She had expected to miss her family – over Christmas their house would be filled with cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles, but this was even better. She wasn´t related to the two people downstairs, but they knew her better than her parents had for years.
While soaping and rinsing her body, she noticed the effects of their training. Muscles were building on her arms and legs, and her skin had developed a healthy, glowing tone. If things go on like this, she thought contentedly, I will even be able to look at myself in the mirror again, soon.
Humming to herself, she dried her hair and her body. After a moment of insecurity in front of her huge, open wardrobe, she chose dress robes, not the revealing ones she´d wear to Lucius´ invitations, but a simply cut, unobtrusive set held in gold and light brown. She let her hair fall loosely over her back and pondered the question of make up, finally deciding that it would look exaggerated. Severus would probably await her in his normal robes, and smirk at her attire.
But he didn´t wear his normal robes. In fact, he had abandoned them for dress robes of a deep, burgundy red that suited him perfectly. He did smirk, however.
"Jane forced me", he greeted her, "What kind of excuse do you have?"
"Pure, sodding sentimentality", she replied unashamedly, and gave him her most roguish grin.
"Well, you are young and unversed in the ways of the world", he sighed resignedly, but suddenly, he arched his body into a deep bow.
"In that case", he said, straightening again and offering her his arm, "May I accompany you to your seat?"
"Where is Jane?", she asked, noticing the little elf´s absence.
"She fled to her niece after preparing dinner", he told her, "She knows I´d dampen her spirits."
He lowered his voice conspiratorially, "I heard her singing while she cooked. It was awful."
Christmas dinner was delightful. Jane had prepared enough for ten people, it seemed, and the Christmas pudding was delicious.
"Another compromise", Severus grumbled, pointing at his pudding as if it was a living, rather dangerous thing, "I traded the pudding for an absence of crackers."
"Wise choice, that", she remarked, and helped herself to a second piece.
Afterwards, her belly full and her limbs aching with a comfortable, lazy exhaustion, she settled herself on a sofa in front of the Christmas tree. She had expected Severus to return to his normal schedule, and had hoped fervently that he would forget about their evening training tonight. She felt too full to even move.
But to her surprise, he sat down beside her and examined the Christmas tree silently, with a frown on his face. For a tiny, surreal moment, she expected him to break into a song.
"There is a staff Christmas breakfast tomorrow morning for all of us who stay at Hogwarts", he said instead. "Albus coaxes me into attending every year, and it would be suspicious if I didn´t participate."
"Sure", she shrugged, "But you should expect crackers at such an event."
"I have resigned to them", he answered darkly and was rewarded with a chuckle from her.
"So, as I won´t be here tomorrow morning", he broke the companionable silence after awhile, "Why not open the presents tonight?"
"It´s against tradition", she protested, "But… oh, well, why not."
She turned to her stack of presents and carefully unpacked them one by one. Harry had bought her a selection of very fine, coloured parchment and a fragile quill made of glass. To her astonishment, Ron presented her with a rather nice necklace.
"I wonder what he´s thinking", she murmured, "normally, he´d buy me all kinds of awful things. Probably enlisted Ginny´s help this time."
There were also packages from other school friends and the rest of the Weasley family. Jane had given her a book on the "psychological background of slavery". Dumbledore and Dobby both presented her with a pair of woollen socks. She wondered if they had bought them together.
Draco´s present was an old, richly illuminated book called "Onward from the Middle Ages. A study of changes and traditions."
After she had finished unwrapping, she watched in amusement as Severus divided his stack of presents into one rather large and a very small one.
"Those are from colleagues and people I don´t like", he answered her unspoken question, gesturing over to the large pile.
He examined a small, round present critically, and placed it aside with a sigh.
"Albus will give sherbert lemons like every year", he sighed, "To sweeten my temper, as he so adeptly puts it."
Minerva´s present was a book. A shadowy figure was depicted on the cover, under which big, red letters read: The Tragic Hero: Dark, Brooding and Seductive. A critical Companion through the Ages.
"Oh, what wonderful friends I have", he muttered.
Hermione couldn´t keep a grin spreading on her face, but Severus just shook his head.
Next, he turned to a huge, bulky package and unwrapped it apprehensively. The wrappings revealed a stack of paper, several drawing utensils and a book with the title "Drawing. A Beginner´s Course."
"That´s from Jane", Severus told her, "She always gives me something I´m bad at. Says it´s good for my character."
"You seem to have a knack for receiving educational gifts", she commented, reaching behind her, "I´m afraid mine is blatantly out of line."
She handed him a present, wrapped in red paper, and for a moment, his hands rested on it without moving.
"Open yours first", he finally told her and selected a box that lay a bit apart from his presents.
"I thought you hate giving presents?", she protested.
"Don´t punish me for making an exception once, or it won´t happen again. Anyway, I would have given these to you Christmas or not. Now seemed as good a time as ever."
Her hands shook a little as she opened the box. She hadn´t expected a present from him.
The box´s content however took her breath away.
"Severus, they are wonderful!", she whispered, carefully lifting one of the two slender knifes from its wrapping to examine it further in a firelight. "What are they made of?"
"A special type of Perspex", he answered, "Sharp as any steel and untraceable by metal detectors. The sheaths are dragon leather and have glamour charms stitched into them. Integrated Portkeys will transport them to a place of your choice, be it your hands or these quarters."
Smiling in delight, she traced the dagger´s outline with her fingers and tested the blade. She could herself and her smile widened.
"It is perfectly balanced and light as a feather!"
"I hope so", he simply said, "You deserve only the best."
Had he been one of her house, or perhaps even Dumbledore, she would have hugged him fiercely for this. But something about the thought of embracing him made her feel awkward and nervous…
"Thank you so much", she whispered instead, and softly touched his hand. "Now open mine!"
His movements were slow when he unwrapped the box, and she found herself holding her breath in anticipation. She hadn´t been sure about getting a present for him, worrying that she overstepped the limits and he would react with scorn. Now she rather wondered if he wouldn´t be disappointed. These knives were so… beautiful! Her present could barely compete with them.
Carefully, he opened the box and withdrew a teapot. It was so black that it seemed to absorb the light around it, and only when he lifted into the light the hundreds of tiny onyxes could be seen sparkling and shining.
"It´s from India," She said nervously when he remained silent. "Protective spells keep the tea warm and fresh and enhance the its properties. I know it´s not much, but…"
"It is very beautiful, Hermione." He interrupted her, his voice glittering with amusement. "Stop apologizing for your gift, it doesn´t become you."
"Oh." She said, not knowing what to make of his response. "All right."
He raised his eyes towards hers and sent her a short message, the thought whispering through her mind like a soft summer´s breeze. Thank you.
"I think I´m going to test it right now." He suddenly announced and took the teapot with him to the kitchen. The way he cradled it in his hands, like something precious, made her heart ache for him.
This was probably the first "real" Christmas gift he had received in years. And it had been from her.
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"But how exactly?", Hermione suddenly demanded crossly.
Severus raised his head from Minerva´s rather amusing book. They had spent the hours after gift unwrapping silently, leafing through the books that had been added to their collection, but he was used by now to her sudden exclamations.
"How exactly what", he asked.
Without missing a stride, Hermione turned from arguing with her book to a discussion with Severus.
"It says here that wizarding and muggle cultures interacted closely during the middle ages, "influencing each other on nearly every level"", she quoted the book Draco had given to her, "But it doesn´t say how exactly this influence looked like."
Pursing his lips, Severus thought a moment, then placed his book aside and strode over to one of the shelves.
"I have a book somewhere that should illustrate it", he murmured, "It´s something about the history of art… Ah, here it is."
He chose a heavy, illustrated book and walked over to Hermione. Sitting down beside her on the sofa, he opened the volume and leafed through the pages.
Hermione remained silent.
It was the first time they sat so close to each other, and Severus had expected that she would move away, restore her personal space. But nothing of the sort happened. Instead, she leaned over to the book, scanning the pictures closely with fascination in he eyes.
"I bought this years ago when I started to wonder about the tapestries and sculptures in Hogwarts", he explained, "I asked myself where the builders of Hogwarts took their ideas of architecture from, but if you start looking closer, it goes far beyond that. In many ways, the wizarding world formed its ideals about beauty during the middle ages and never moved on."
"That was my impression when I entered Hogwarts", she nodded excitedly, "Everything felt… so medieval, like the old cathedrals and castles. But how did this transfer of ideas work? Did wizards and muggles have more contact than today?"
"Actually, the old cathedrals are a good example", Severus answered and plunged into a lengthy explanation.
His fingers traced the pages of both his and her book, pointing out a relief, a tapestry or a masonry sign, and her eyes followed the soft movements of his fingers.
As he had come to expect it in their discussions, her questions nailed down every weakness of the general theories, prompting even longer explanations on his part.
He had reached the tale of Gawain and the Green Knight when a quiet yawn made him realize he had been going on for nearly half an hour.
"I´m sorry", he said, surprised that so much time had passed, "I´ve tired you. You should be in bed, or talk about something less boring."
"Not at all", she replied sleepily, an open smile on her face that stemmed from the state between waking and sleep she had entered, "It´s fascinating. And I love to listen to you. I always have", her voice trailed away, drowsiness clouding her words, "It´s your voice, you know? I love your voice… Like velvet and steel…"
He looked at her, bemused, not knowing what to make of this comment, but her hooded eyes were fixed on the pictures, and in her state of tiredness, he didn´t know if she even remembered what she had said. So he resumed his talk, his slender index finger gliding over the objects and symbols on the page, until he suddenly felt a soft weight on his left shoulder.He turned his eyes towards her, and found that she had fallen asleep finally, her head resting on his shoulder and her hand curled around his upper arm.
Carefully, so as not to wake her, he gathered her up in his arms and carried her up the winding staircase and into her room.
He laid her down on her bed, marvelling at the trust and inner peace she must feel to let sleep overtake her in his presence. In a way, the weight of her head on his shoulder had been the best Christmas present he had received for a long time.
Slowly, he removed her shoes and placed a blanket over her relaxed body, than straightened up again.
For a moment he just stood there, watching Hermione how she lay in her bed, utter peace and calm displaying in her face. Her mouth was slightly open, and if he´d leaned closer, he could have made out a soft, barely audible snore.A smile bloomed on his face, so full of joy and warmth that it would have shocked everyone he knew. Then, Severus turned around and left the bedroom.
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A/N: Sniff, there you are, some fluff and some fun, though I´m crap at writing either of them. Anyway, I hope you liked this warm and happy little chapter, for we´ll be going dark again!
Next chapter features a meeting between Hermione and Lucius and its rather gruesome effects, a desperate Potions Master and some very, very dark descriptions.
Unfortunately, it might take me some time to update again (unless you persuade me otherwise), for I´m quite busy at the moment.
And thank you all for your wonderful reviews! I´m doing my best to reply, but real life´s pure stress at the moment, so be patient with me! And keep those reviews coming – they make my day!
All the best,
Kayly.