EPOV
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Leaving Bella alone with Dr. Harper was one of the hardest things I do. I know I had no right to listen in on Bella's past life and current thoughts but I couldn't help but think that in some ways maybe I did. I had to put my faith in Dr. Harper and hope that she wouldn't steer Bella away from me. All this irrational thinking had led to another decision I had made and I wouldn't be apologetic for it.
"Thank you for doing this. I trust you had no issue." I replied appraising the stunning pendant in my hands.
"Absolutely not, Mr. Cullen. It is a fine piece if I must say."
"I understand that this is…an unusual request. I appreciate the efforts that went into this and I will make sure that you are compensated greatly for your work as well as your discretion, Mr. Ford."
"You are most generous. I leave the instructions here with you and take my leave."
"Seth will see you out."
I played a little more with the locket in my hands. I could not believe that somewhere inside this beautiful antique that belonged to my grandmother was a tracker. Mr. Ford had done great work indeed. I looked over the set of directions and it seemed pretty standard.
"Don't you think you are going a tad bit overboard?" Seth walked back in just as I was placing the necklace back into its box.
"No."
"Edward, I truly believe that with the skills you and I have taught Bella, she could do well in a fight. Of course we won't know until we place her in a real life situation…"
"Absolutely not." I cut him off. "Bella, is not going to turn out like me."
"What, a quitter?"
"Stop it. You know why I stopped."
"It wasn't your fault." Seth snapped.
"I don't want to rehash this again. Bella, is not going to run out into the night. You will not have her pick up where I left off. Are we clear?" I barked.
Seth stared at me for a long minute.
"Fine."
I relaxed only a smidge.
"You really think she can't handle herself…if the opportunity were to present itself?" Seth asked.
"I don't ever want to have to find out. It's your job to make sure that if it did, she could. However it's my job to make sure that she never gets close enough to find out. I didn't commission this piece because I think she will be abducted by Jacob. The locket was made so I can make sure that she if she does run…I can find her. Bella, is a runner. She always has been, even though before she couldn't run without tripping but now, I don't trust her and I won't spend the rest of my life looking for her when I could avoided all that torment with one small piece of jewelry."
"What about…if you love her, you'll let her go."
"No. I won't and I know she loves me too but Bella doesn't think rationally and it's only a matter of time before she tries to do something stupid and I won't allow it. You can disagree with me but I don't care what you, Dr. Harper or god himself thinks. I won't lose her again."
"I still don't understand why you won't let me put her in a controlled situation. It would help her greatly. You know this." Seth argued.
A controlled situation was to go out and essentially find a site where you could be the bait for a potentially attacking. We called it a controlled situation because the master would be nearby to jump in with weapons in tow if it got too crazy.
"And what if it does the opposite? Makes her even more terrified. You don't have to hold her at night when she's thrashing about and crying. You don't know if she is mentally capable of handling a situation."
"But what if she handles that situation. Don't you think it would give her some faith in herself and the nightmares could stop? She doesn't know if she can really do anything at this point because she's only spared with me. She thinks I'm going easy on her and true I am but if she could really see how far she has come, that would give her more confidence and less likely to leave you out of some delusional idea that you would be better off without her. Have some faith in her."
"She has only had three months of training. I don't believe she's ready." I dismissed.
"What will it take for you to give me a chance to prove you wrong?" Seth asked.
"Seth…no." I shook my head.
"Dammit Edward." Seth yelled. He rarely yelled at me and I could see the frustration roll off him in waves. "Just give her a damn shot. Stop being this…pussy you seemed to have turned into. A couple of years ago, you would have jumped at this."
"It's different now." My voice rose.
"Because you have forgotten who you are. Or maybe you should spend some more time kissing James Sayer's ass because that is all you seem to be good for these days." He spit.
"You have no fucking right to talk to me about that shit. I was then one out risking my life every fucking night. I didn't see you standing beside me. And why is that? Why were you so much of a cowardly pussy to never leave the fucking quarters." I roared.
"Because if I hadn't been on point, watching out for you; your ass would have been dead."
Seth looked at me one last time and shook his head while turning to leave. I didn't have a response. Many times he did save me but that didn't mean I was willing to pay him back with Bella. I did trust Seth with my own life however I couldn't bear to trust him with Bella's. I couldn't trust anyone with that, not even Bella.
I tried to calm down a smidge but I might not have been completely calm when Dr. Harper found me in my living room with a scotch in hand.
"Drinking never took away a person's problems." She commented.
"I didn't realize I paid you for my AA therapy as well." I snapped.
"Do you need a session? I find you are in much more need of me then Bella is at this point."
"Is she okay? What…how…"
She shook her head before I could even think about how I wanted to phrase the question.
"You know I can't tell you anything. If you want to know, you'll have to ask her yourself. I will make a recommendation, however. You really need to allow Bella to be around people other than yourself and Mr. Clearwater. She told me all about your trip in Aspen and I am disappointed that you never exposed her to others. Keeping her all to yourself is not beneficial. She has anxiety and I think she needs to be put out in the real world once more. She needs your help to make that transition smoother. I will not allow you to be selfish…if I feel that your relationship is detrimental to her…I will tell her."
I squeezed my hands into fists and tried to control my breathing so I wouldn't lash out at her.
"Calm Edward. You really need to work on your anger issues." She scolded.
"Anything else?" I asked as calmly as possible.
"Validate her feelings. She…feels very strongly about certain things that have happened in the past and even though you may not agree with her assessment, it's what she feels and you need to listen and then tell her how you feel. You need to be honest but not angry. I am not happy with how… upset you get with her. You really need to control your anger and if you can't then you really do need to let her go."
It absolutely crushed me to hear Dr. Harper's words. Bella must have told her about some of the incidents in Aspen when I would get angry with her and I could tell by what Dr. Harper said, that these moments had a profound effect on Bella. I hurt her. I did that.
"So what have we learned?" Dr. Harper asked. "We are going to think before we bark. We are going to encourage Bella to spend some time outside of these walls and in social situations. Correct?"
"Yes, Dr. Harper." I replied like a child who had just been ripped a new asshole by their parent.
"Good. I will be back tomorrow for your session. Which…you seem to be in great need of."
Dr. Harper left without another word and I tipped back the rest of the contents of my drink down my throat. Sitting there in the dark still mulling over the several negative conversations from my day. It was getting late when a sudden thought popped up into my mind.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed the number I needed.
"It's almost six on a Friday. Please tell me you don't need anything more from me." Alice whined.
"A favor...a big favor. We're back and I was wondering…if it wouldn't be too much trouble…if you would…like to…come to dinner?" I swear it took everything in me to ask.
Silence. Which for Alice was a rare find.
"You're…inviting me over for dinner?" You could hear the confusion laced in her voice.
"Well….you and your husband…you can invite that Rosalie girl, if you like." That sounded better coming out of my mouth than in my head.
"Why? I mean…I don't understand, is this some type of Ten Little Indians play?"
"Come on Alice. I'm not going to kill anyone. I…had a discussion with Bella's therapist and she thinks that Bella needs to be around more people so, I figured why not you. Look, if you don't want to come…"
"No. Of course we will come. For Bella. Of course." Alice jumped in.
"Great…good…uh…say in an hour?"
"See you then boss." She chirped.
Great. Good.
I went to search for Bella to tell her of the…great news, if you could call it that. I was a little worried when I entered our bedroom. I hoped that she wouldn't be too emotionally and physically drained. I know it had been a long day and if she did feel tired, I would need to call off dinner.
The shower had just turned off the moment I stepped into the bathroom.
"Bella." I called out.
"Edward?"
Who else would it be?
She stepped out of the shower and my god, how I managed to keep my pants from exploding with cum, I'll never know.
"Hey. I'm so happy you're here. I have been dying to talk to you." Bella's overly enthusiastic attitude threw me for a loop.
"Really?" I asked still trying to perve on her while she wiped the beads of water from her perfect body.
Suddenly she threw the towel straight at my face.
"Pervert." She smirked.
"Sorry…I just…can't help it. God you're gorgeous."
She looked at me like she was trying to decide if I was being sincere.
"Thank you." She smiled softy and then started to pull on her panties.
"So…uh…what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked trying to concentrate on whatever she was about to tell me.
She started to brush out her hair once she had on her bra and panties. I walked over and sat up on the bathroom counter so I could look her straight in the eyes while she told me her story.
"Seth, let me choose a weapon to work with today. It was…one of the best experiences of my life. I know it sounds stupid but I just felt so much power even with shooting at a non-moving target. Edward…I just can't describe how…liberating it all felt. Please would you talk to Seth and let me continue on with…this."
"You really liked it that much?" I asked.
She put down her brush and walked over to stand in between my legs.
"Yes. Please. Please, Edward." She asked sincerely.
"Whatever you wish, my love." I put my hands on her hips and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Just a few hours ago I was so scared she was going to run the moment we touched down in L.A. but now I started to feel a smidge better. However.
"Bella. There's something I want you to have. I know it's…kinda of hokey but it belonged to my grandmother and I would be honored if you would wear this as a symbol of my love for you." I pulled the small box out of my pants pocket and opened it to display the small diamond and gold locket.
Bella gasped as I held it up for her.
"Oh Edward…I can't accept this…I mean I would be terrified to lose something so sentimentally valuable."
"Of course you can. I know you would take excellent care of it. I love you, Bella. Promise me no matter where our relationship goes…no matter how mad you may be with me…or no matter how much you ever feel that you and I can't work…promise me you'll never take this off. Promise me that when you look upon it, you'll know how much I love you no matter where we both are."
She looked down at it and I could see the fight going on internally. I was just about to say more when she looked up at me with tears in her eyes.
"I would be honored. I love you too, Edward. Thank you."
I pulled her in for a kiss a thousand times relieved but feeling like an asshole. Bella could never find out or else I could lose her and that was never an option for me. I only was able to get over it with my justification that I was doing this for us.
I couldn't help myself, with her standing here in practically nothing and my complete concern for the thoughts racing through my mind I pulled her closer and pawed at her ass like some horny teenager. I needed her. God, I needed to cum in her.
"Edward…" she pulled back a little. "Can you do me another favor?"
"Anything, sweetheart."
"When you talk to Seth…can you ask him when...I need to know. When?"
When?
…
Oooohhh.
"I'll try." I stuttered thinking about how Seth was none too happy with me at the moment.
"I hope you don't mind but I invited some of your friends over for dinner. It's been awhile and I thought maybe you would like the change in scenery for company.
"I like your company just fine but maybe…it would be nice to have them over. Do you think we could have dinner in the atrium?"
"I don't know if there's enough time to get that together but we can have them over again. I promise."
She pulled away from me and I missed the feeling of her being so close.
"Well, I better get dressed then."
"Okay."
"Maybe you could invite Seth for dinner. It would be nice." She replied finishing her hair brushing.
I cringed.
"What? Do you not want him there?" she asked.
"Um…no…it's fine. I'll ask him." I stood up from the counter.
"Edward, what's going on? You and Seth didn't have another go, did you?"
"Don't worry about it." I placated her.
"Edward." Her voice reproached me. "Was it about me?"
"Look at you so self-absorbed. Not everything is about you, Isabella." I teased.
She folded her arms across her chest blocking me from my perfect view.
"Don't worry about it."
"Edward." She warned again. "Come on. Just tell me. Maybe…I can be of some help. Maybe I can find a solution. If it's about me, I have a right to know and Dr. Harper said that…you need to...share things with me too you know."
I sighed and sat back down.
"Bella, this is about your training…we're in disagreement of where we think you are and if you are ready for the next level."
I was worried with how that came out. I didn't want her thinking that we thought she wasn't strong. She scrunched up her adorable face, "who doesn't think I'm ready?"
Uh oh.
"Well…I…am just concerned about you. I only want what's best." I mumbled.
She walked over to me and looked me straight in the eyes with more fire and passion then I had ever seen. I was so entranced that I hadn't even noticed her hand come up and smack me upside the head until after I felt it.
"What's the matter with you? Don't tell me I'm not ready. It is not your decision to make. It's Seth's, so you go and apologize to him and tell him that you will no longer be butting in on my training."
She stood with her hands on her hips, looking something fierce.
"Go!" She pointed.
"But…"
"GO!" she barked.
I stood up completely unsure of what just happened. I walked out of our room and down the stairs to the back of the house still trying to figure it out. I rapped on Seth's door and then stood waiting for this humiliation to be over with. I was a proud man so I did not look forward to this conversation.
"Can I help you, Mr. Cullen?" he answered the door with a salute.
"Just let me in." I pushed past him and all his ridiculousness.
"Now what?" Seth sighed.
"Bella…we are having some people over to the house this evening. Bella asked me to see if you wanted to join us." I grumbled.
"Bella?"
"Yes, Bella." I huffed.
"Sure."
I walked around still trying to get up the gusto for the next part.
"Uh…Bella also wanted me to talk to you…she said she really loved the weapon training you did with her this morning. She wants more…of that."
"I assumed as much."
I sighed. "Also…she wants to know…" I paused hating life right now. "When you will allow her…and me…"
"That depends on you." Seth sated already knowing where I was going.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"When I see that she is capable. Truly capable of handling herself…then I will release my condition. And if in the mean time she wants to fully understand what I mean…she can ask you why she's horny and unable to have perfect release."
"Seth, I don't want her in any kind of…controlled environment." I huffed.
"Would you like her in an uncontrolled environment?" Seth mocked.
I just stared him down not amused.
"You have to have more faith in her." Seth countered.
"Dinner's in twenty." I replied walking out of his home.
Bella was still not down from upstairs when our guests arrived which made this awkward as hell. I could see Rosalie eyeballing me and I tried to rise above. I shook Jasper and Emmett's hand and welcomed them in. I took everyone in the dining room and offered them a beverage, like a good little host.
"Oh my god." Alice gasped. "Bella, you look amazing."
I looked over my shoulder to see Bella standing at the entrance to the dining room in a beautiful deep blue dress. Damn, she always looks good but…damn.
Alice and Rosalie went over and hugged her.
"Thank you. Thank you so much for coming. I have missed you." Her soft voice replied.
"Honey, would you like something to drink?" I asked.
"Just water would be great." I went to the task of pouring her water when Seth walked in.
"Seth, you came." Bella smiled. She looked over to me and caught the tense look between Seth and myself. "Uh…Seth, I would like to introduce you to some of my…friends?"
"Of course we're friends." Alice practically smacked Bella's arm at the very idea that they were anything less. "Oww… what did you do to your arms. They're like a cement wall."
"Well, Seth here has been responsible for my training….he has made me stronger." Bella glowed. "Seth, I'm sure you know Alice but this is her husband, Jasper and these two lovely people are Rosalie and Emmett. I met them when I first came to California."
They all welcomed Seth and Katherine walked in announcing that dinner was ready.
Before taking my seat, I felt Bella practically pinch my arm. "I thought you were going to apologize?"
"Oh…yeah…I will." I had completely forgotten and I could tell the look on my love's face that she was not too happy with me.
Dinner was actually a nice affair surprisingly enough. Rosalie and I didn't converse too much which I think was best.
"Do you know what dress you are going to wear to the charity ball next week?" Alice asked.
"I…think there's something in that closet of clothes you bought for me. Not really too sure what to pick…I've never been to anything so fancy before."
"You mean stuffy and boring." Jasper replied and everyone laughed.
"Hey my ball's are not stuffy." Alice snapped at her husband.
"Of course they're not." Jasper leaned over and kissed his wife, "because you don't have any balls, my darling."
"Well maybe you can come over sometime this week and help me pick something out? Maybe you can tell me all about this ball…I was told I wouldn't have to dance since…I don't know how to."
"I will teach you, sweetheart. I promise." I vowed remembering that it was something I meant to do.
"I don't know…I think a week is a little too short to learn."
"Oh Bella, you have to dance. The room is just too incredibly gorgeous to not." Alice's eyes glazed over and Emmett gave the sign that she was crazy. I had to agree.
"So Bella, what are you planning on doing now that you're back?" Rosalie asked.
"I'm not sure yet. Maybe some online classes. I never did get my degree." Bella replied.
"You should go to the local community college. Wouldn't it be nice to go and enjoy learning with like-minded individuals?" Rosalie asked.
"Uh…I don't know…maybe. I probably should look for a job too."
"A job?" I questioned. "If you wanted a job, you are more than welcome to come back to my company."
"Yes. Oh god, please say yes. I can't handle being alone there with Jessica any longer." Alice jumped in and I was never more grateful.
"I'll think about it."
Dinner was finished and Alice decided to pull Bella upstairs with Rosalie to go over her dress options for the ball. I was happy to have a minute alone with Emmett and Jasper.
"Have you had any more run in's with Jacob?" I asked Jasper.
"No. Not since the one. Kind of surprised." Jasper shook his head.
"I looked in on him and found that he still hasn't returned back to Port Angeles. In fact they have filed out a missing persons report." Emmett divulged.
"That's not good. It could mean that he's still looking for her." I replied.
"Do you really think it's a good idea to have her work at Cullen International? Jacob knows she worked there." Jasper asked.
"I just want her near me. I would feel better knowing she was a couple of feet away. If she goes and works someplace else, I'm going to have to hire someone to watch over her. I don't see that going well with Bella."
"I could watch her." Seth offered.
"I know but…you have other things to do and I need someone whose sole priority is just that. I think it's best if she comes back to my company. I could beef up security."
"Well, I know a couple of trustworthy guys. I could have them patrol near your office so just in case there's an incident…"
"I would appreciate any help until I can find that fucker myself. Emmett you and Rosalie should come next weekend. I think Bella would feel more comfortable the more people she knew being around. She will feel safer that way."
"I guess I could find a monkey suit. No doubt Rosalie already has something to wear with all the god awful clothes bursting from her closet." he quipped.
The night came to a close and I knew that I needed to spend some time with my love and get her to comply with coming back to Cullen International. It seemed like there was a lot for us to talk about but I couldn't do that now because Bella passed out on the bed still dressed in that beautiful blue dress that hugged her body perfectly.
I started to pull off her clothes and get her ready for bed when she started to fight me.
"Bella." I called to wake her up out of her nightmare. By the time she came to her face was drenched in her tears and sweat. I held her naked body to me still calming her. I thought back to what Seth said earlier about her nightmares and wondered if maybe a controlled situation really was what was best.
AN: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for reading and reviewing. I am so happy with how this story is turning out. Thank you!