Dumbledore Gets Ripped a New One
By: Sheltie
I don't own Harry Potter at all
A/N: thought it was time for my three favorite serpents to team up against the old goat and greasy bat. That kind of sounded like some kind of comic or Saturday morning cartoon.
Serpent Triad (Daphne Greengrass, Pansy Parkinson & Tracey Davis)
Albus Dumbledore was making his way down to the dungeons where the Slytherin dorms were located. There had been numerous disturbances and he had to investigate them. It might have something to do with Harry vanishing. Now Harry had disappeared and couldn't be found at all. Then all this trouble in the Slytherin dorms happened. It was too close in timing for it to be a coincidence really. So the old wizard and his ever-loyal potion master Severus Snape were on the scene.
The two entered the Slytherin dorms without much trouble, but what they found upon entering the common room was horrible. Most of the male students were injured in some shape or form. Some were nursing their injuries while others were unconscious from their trauma. Then there was the numerous farm animals most of them pigs and donkeys running around like they were five-year-olds on a sugar high. The girls were mostly untouched with a few scraps and bruises though there were some that had long hooked noses and greasy hair, they looked like female versions of Snape. They were sobbing and trying to hide their faces. What neither figured out until later was that all the students hurt were a part of Death Eater families or families with Voldemort sympathizers.
The worse was Draco Malfoy who was now sporting tentacles that had sprout from various places on his body tearing through his clothing. Most were smacking him in the face, but one or two was trying to sneak into his pants and bugger him. He did his best to prevent that as he tried to ward off the tentacles slapping him. His groin was encased by a block of ice. His wand was right beside him snapped in two. He was whimpering and whining like a baby whether that was from having his junk frozen or the tentacle smacking him was up for debate.
"What has happened here?" Dumbledore asked out loud.
Snape dashed over to his godson to try and help, but got viciously bitch slapped by tentacles instead. He pulled out his wand, but Dumbledore stopped him before a spell could be cast.
"Stop Severus, we do not know what it is and you could cause more harm than good" he said.
Snape sneered, but lowered his wand.
"Well, well, well looks who has finally shown up."
"Yes, the goat and the bat."
"And not a second late too."
Dumbledore and Snape turned to see three Slytherins standing there unphased by all the chaos going around them. They were also unscathed.
"Miss Greengrass, Miss Parkinson, Miss Davis" Dumbledore said.
"What is going on here?" Snape demanded.
"Just some house clean up, which I think is going swimmingly" Tracey said.
"Yes, it's been long passed due" Daphne said with a nod of her head.
"I'll say" Pansy said.
"House clean up?" Dumbledore questioned.
"Yes, it's about time we clean up this house of the filth that soil the good name of Salazar Slytherin and its reputation" Tracey said.
"Enough of this" Snape sneered.
"I'll say, Lord Slytherin is very much displeased with how his noble house has sullied itself" Daphne said.
Dumbledore's brow furrowed.
"You will undo what you've done to Mr. Malfoy this instant" Snape demanded.
"Nope, not gonna" Pansy said, "the pissy little ferret deserved every hex he got for just being himself."
Snape was enraged at this.
"Go ahead, just try it" Tracey dared.
Snape snarled as sparks flew from his wand, he was so tempted to hex Tracey. But he couldn't attack one of his snakes.
"Miss Greengrass, what do you mean by Lord Slytherin?" Dumbledore asked.
"It should be quite obvious sir" Daphne said, "Lord Slytherin isn't pleased with how his house has become such a disastrous state and is planning to turn things around. But first we must rid it of the less desirables."
"And who is this Lord Slytherin?" Dumbledore asked curiously.
The three serpents looked at one another deciding on whether or not to answer or not.
"Our Lord Slytherin wishes to keep his identity a secret for the moment" Pansy said.
Dumbledore's brow furrowed as he tried to figure who this Lord Slytherin could be. Snape on the other hand didn't care who this Lord Slytherin was at all. He was going to make them pay for harming his godson. The grip on his wand was so tight that he could probably break it.
"The clean out of our lord's house is almost complete. We just have one last thing to get rid of" Daphne said.
"Yeah, just a greasy spot that's been a nuisance for a while" Tracey said.
It didn't take a genius to figure out who they were talking about. Snape let loose an awarding winning sneer.
"Miss Davis" Dumbledore chided.
Tracey just shrugged, not caring.
"What's even better is that we didn't need to go looking. It slinked its way here" Pansy said, "what good fortune."
"Indeed, now shall we?" Daphne asked.
Pansy and Tracey nodded. They got their wands out and began to quickly cast spells so fast that neither Snape or Dumbledore had time to do a thing and Snape had his wand out too. The sneering potions master was changed into a rat with greasy black fur. He was placed into a glass cage that was unbreakable.
Dumbledore blinked as he looked at the spot where his precious potion master once was.
"You will change him back this instant or I'm afraid I must take house points" he said in a disappointed grandfather tone.
"A rat, I thought we agreed on turning him into a flobberworm or something like that?" Pansy asked.
"Sorry, kind of forgot" Tracey said sheepishly.
"It doesn't matter, he's changed and caged. We can do whatever we want with him" Daphne said.
"I know, I know. But we agreed" Pansy argued.
"Look, we can go on and on about this later. We still got a goat we need to deal with" Tracey said.
"Right, right" Pansy said calming herself.
They turned back to Dumbledore who they've been ignoring due to their small little argument.
"Now sir, shall we get back to where we were?" Daphne asked.
Dumbledore's wrist twitched and his wand appeared. A hex on his lips, but again he was too slow since the three Vipers anticipated this. They fired off stunners hitting the old wizard in the chest. The power of the stunners was so much he was lifted off his feet and flew back skidding only to be halted by a wall where he crumpled.
"I won" Tracey crowed, "my stunner hit him first."
"No way, it was my stunner that hit him first" Pansy argued.
"It was mine obviously" Daphne said simply.
"In your dreams Daph. We know that you may be more powerful than Pans and I, but speed isn't your forte" Tracey said with a smirk.
Daphne shot a look at her friend.
"Hey, I'm much faster than you are in a draw, and you know it Trace. I've beaten you several times" Pansy chipped in.
"That's in a quick draw, this wasn't a quick draw" Tracey asserted.
"So, I'm still faster than the both of you" Pansy said, "and that means I get the reward. Snuggle time with Lord Slytherin."
"Hell no" Tracey exclaimed.
Daphne nodded in total agreement.
The girls were about to continue their debate when they felt a buzzing in their pockets. They knew what that meant. Their Lord Slytherin knew of their bickering and found a way to curb it since it had been known to go on for hours without any kind of resolution. The buzzing they felt meant they were at their allotted time limit to argue.
"We'll settle this later. We've still got work to do" Daphne said.
"We shall" Tracey said with a nod of her head.
"Yeah" Pansy said.
Tracey and Pansy carried over the unconscious Dumbledore with Daphne conjuring a chair. Once Dumbledore was in the chair slumped over they bound him so he was sitting up a bit more.
"Right, got the Pensieve?" Tracey asked.
"Of course" Pansy said as she opened her robe and dug into one of the inner pockets that had been magically expanded. She pulled out a stone basin that was empty.
"Daph?" Tracey asked.
Daphne nodded and got to work. She placed the tip of her wand to Dumbledore's temple and focused hard. Now usually when taking memories it was much easier for the one retrieving the memory be the extractor as well since things could go wrong with someone else doing it. But Daphne was quite good at this like a surgeon. But as she pulled her wand away a long silver strand followed. It looked like a clown trying to pull a handkerchief from their breast pocket.
Pansy maneuvered the Pensieve in a way so the silver strand could get caught in the basin. No one said a word as Daphne kept pulling until it finally ended. Daphne was sweating hard from the serious focus she had put in and the magic she had to use.
"You alright Daph?" Tracey asked with concern.
"Yeah, just never had to do that for so long. I think I got everything though" Daphne said as she wiped her drenched brow.
"Hope you did. This thing is full" Pansy commented as she looked at the silvery shimmery liquid in the stone bowl before securing it back in her inside pocket for safe keeping.
"Right, take the rat, leave the goat" Tracey said.
Pansy and Daphne raised an eyebrow at this, but said nothing. Daphne picked up the cage that contained the greasy haired rat that is Snape struggling to get free of its confines. The three left Dumbledore bound to the chair and the chaos they had wrecked upon their house.
End
A/N: okay, so ends this chap. I've got a question for you all. Would you want me to add in other girls from other thing aside from the HP verse or do you want me to keep it within the HP verse? Let me know when you review this chap or PM me.