Several weeks later:
Sam walked into Landry's office, gently knocking on the door.
"Colonel!"
"You asked me to report, sir." She said, soberly.
"Yes, I did." Landry said, nodding. "Close the door, please."
She nodded as she did so, and turned back.
"Have a seat, Colonel."
She sat in front of the desk as he situated himself behind it. "How have you enjoyed your return to SG-1?"
She managed a small smile. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"
"Granted." He said, nodding.
"It's...comfortable."
"You're bored." He said, perceptively.
"It's not that, sir..."
"Of course it is, Colonel." He smiled. "No one expects to command an expedition and then be returned to the assignment they held before that not more than a year later."
She sighed, softly, as she looked at her hands for a moment. "No, sir. I suppose not."
"Well then, you'll be happy to hear that you're being reassigned."
Her head snapped up. "Reassigned, sir?"
He nodded. "There's a new Daedelus class ship which needs a commander, and you've been selected."
She inhaled sharply. "Me, sir?"
He nodded. "I think we all agree that the commander should be able to repair the very thing they're commanding..."
She was speechless. "I...I see.." She finally stammered.
"You're not happy about the development?"
"It's not that, sir..."
"There's another assignment you'd prefer?"
She exhaled softly. "No, sir."
"Good. Then, you report to Peterson for transport in six weeks. Until then, you have leave."
"Sir, I have some.."
"Experiments you'd like to finish."
She swallowed. "Uh...yes, sir."
"I assumed as such. You'll have a few days to do what you can before you must send the files to Dr. Lee."
She nodded, soberly.
He stood, and extended his hand to her. "Congratulations, Colonel."
She managed a faint smile. "Thank you, sir."
-
Sam walked down the corridor with a small sigh, passing Daniel on her way to the commissary.
"Hey, Sam." He greeted, absently.
"Hi, Daniel." She said, managing a sober smile.
He looked up, sensing that there was something on her mind. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She said, shaking her head. She pointed her thumb over one shoulder. "I'm headed to the commissary for some cake. You wanna come with?"
"I've got to turn in this report on the ruins SG-22 found on their latest mission."
"Ah." She said, nodding.
"Are you sure there's nothing on your mind?" He asked, studying her.
"Apparently, there's another Daedelus class ship in need of a commander. It's new, and they want me to command it."
"That's great."
She bit her lip. "Yeah..."
"You don't want to go."
"I've been considering early retirement, actually." She said, exhaling softly.
"Retirement, huh?"
She nodded. "Life's too short to keep putting everything off."
"I see."
"But...I doubt they're going to accept my application now. I should just put in my year or two, and come home."
"And retirement?"
"I'll give them my papers the minute I get off the ship for the last time."
"Have you told Jack yet?"
She shook her head slowly. "Why do you think I want cake?"
"He's not going to stop you, is he?"
"He's too good to me for that." She said, shaking her head. "But it'll kill me to have to tell him..."
"He probably already knows."
She swallowed. "I know."
"Why do you think he encourages you to take these assignments?" Daniel mused.
"Because he knows how dedicated I am to my career." She explained, somewhat surprised by the question. "Why? Do you think he's avoiding something?"
"Well, when you're worlds apart and still...just engaged..., he doesn't have to worry about..."
"Another family." She murmured as she realized what he was getting at.
"It's probably crazy to even think..."
Sam bit her lip, suddenly more than a little insecure about her relationship. "Go turn in your report, Daniel...I think I'm gonna get some cake."
"I'm sorry, Sam. Sometimes I think out loud, and..."
She shook her head. "No, Daniel. Don't apologize. It's something I hadn't thought of before...and probably something I should have considered...given his past..." She sighed as she tried to smile wryly. "Suddenly, I'm not in the mood for cake..."
"Sam..."
"I'll be fine." She assured. "I just...Jack and I need to talk about this...figure something out."
She managed a weak smile before she walked toward her lab. She had some work to finish before she traveled to DC to spend the rest of her leave.
-
She sat on the couch, thoughtfully as she waited for him to return home from work. The beer in her hands had gone flat hours ago. She hadn't taken a sip in at least that long.
She was silent as she heard the front door open as Jack entered. She'd taken a cab. He wouldn't know she was here until he walked into the living room.
He made his way up the stairs, looking at them until he finally reached the top when he sensed her presence. "Sam. What are you doing here?"
"We need to talk." She said, swallowing as she looked over at him.
"Okay..." He said, confused.
"Not now. I mean...you can change your clothes, grab a beer...whatever."
"You need to talk." He said, soberly. "I can do that in these clothes, and if I want a beer, I can drink yours."
She sighed as she put the bottle on the coffee table. "It's flat."
"What's going on, Sam?" He asked, concerned.
She inhaled as she met his gaze squarely. "I need you to tell me if you have any doubts. Any fears about marrying me."
He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "How can you ask that?"
"Because I've been bringing up the subject for the last six months that I've been back, and you've been putting it off." She sighed. "I can't wait much longer..."
"Sam, you're scaring me." He said, looking at her concerned. "What's so urgent?"
"What's so urgent about marrying me?" She asked, tearing up. "Well, if you don't know..."
"Don't do that, Sam. I'm not playing that game."
She turned a hurt expression to him as she inhaled. "We've been engaged for two years. I'm not saying this is all your fault...I mean, I left for Atlantis...but I'm back now, and..." She closed her eyes as she steeled herself. "I have been for six months. But it seems that we're in a holding pattern."
He opened his mouth to speak, but she pressed a finger to his lips to silence him. "There's never going to be a "convenient" time. There's never going to be a time when we don't have eyebrows raised when they look at us. I realize that now, and I'm okay with it." She sighed. "But I need to know if you are."
He swallowed as she removed her finger. "Of course, I am." He promised. "What's wrong?"
Her lip trembled. "I've been...reassigned..."
"To the George Hammond. I heard." He said, nodding.
"You knew?" She asked, hurt.
"I usually know these things..."
She bit her lip as she nodded slowly.
"What's wrong? You don't want to go? It's...it's a great opportunity..."
She closed her eyes in agony. "Of course it is, Jack." She whispered. "And there will always be a great opportunity around the corner."
He was silent as she opened her eyes and looked at him. "But where does it end? When is it enough for you?"
"For me?" He asked, taken aback.
She struggled to recover her composure before she looked at him again. "Are you afraid that I want kids? Are you afraid that I might change my mind a few years down the road? Are you afraid that we might not have kids? Are you afraid that something's going to happen to me? Are you afraid I'll resent you if I give up my career to be with you? Talk to me, Jack. I need more than this..."
His lips parted in surprise at the depth of her emotion.
"I'm a grown woman, Jack. I can handle whatever you give me." She assured. "It won't be easy, but I'll manage somehow..."
He looked away as he inhaled and exhaled slowly.
She clenched her jaw as she tried to stem off another storm of emotion. She finally breathed in with an embarrassment and nervousness playing on her features. "And...you're not ready to have this conversation..." She said, standing.
"You're right." He finally murmured.
She stopped in her tracks, turning to face him slowly. "About what?"
"I don't want you to resent giving anything up for me. I'm old and tired. You're young with so much potential."
"Not so young anymore." She said, sitting back down.
"Younger, though."
"Yes." She admitted. "Is that a problem?"
"Never." He said, shaking his head.
"But..."
"But you know as well as I do that the Homeworld Security position is one step away from retirement. The George Hammond appointment is just the beginning..."
"Not necessarily." She said, softly.
He raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"Jack, my priorities are changing. Blame our relationship, my age, General Hammond's death, the IOA's backhanded dismissal of my command...whatever you want, but I don't want to find myself old and gray...and all alone."
He sighed softly. "So...you want to give up the appointment?"
"I don't think we have a choice at this point," she admitted. "But...I think there's something we can do to influence future positions..."
"Actually get married?"
She nodded.
"And that's what you want." He said, studying her closely as he thought about the possibility.
She nodded. "Honestly, if I had my way...we'd get married in the next six weeks, we'd spend the next few months apart while the Pentagon processes my retirement or resignation - whichever they actually accept - and then...I come home..."
"And we live our life together..."
She nodded. "Yeah." She smiled wryly. "And I learn a few hobbies."
He chuckled softly before sobering.
She noticed his change, and she inhaled nervously.
"Let's do it. At the cabin...next week too early?"
"I-I would ha-have to check with Mark..." She admitted.
"Call him, and see what works for him. I have a priest friend who'd be willing to come and perform the ceremony."
"What about SG-1?"
"We'll call them too."
She swallowed as she looked at her hands and then up at him. "You're sure?"
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life, Sam." He said, honestly. "I love you, and if it takes a ceremony in the next week to seal that in your head, then that's what we'll do."
Tears slipped down her cheeks as she touched her hands to his cheeks and kissed him gently. "I love you, Jack O'Neill." She whispered, looking him in the eyes.
"I love you too, Samantha Carter."