Iryo-nin Kasa (医療忍傘)
Chapter Twenty-Four: Missions
So… bored…
An hour into the mission and I wished something would go wrong just so it wouldn't be so boring! Team Thirteen's C-Rank was to a businessman that believes his extremely hot wife is cheating on him, who wants to bet it's his wallet she's after and not his froggy good looks?
Anyway, our mission was to stalk his wife and find her boy-toy and where he lives. Simple enough… if it wasn't so damn boring. Good lord, if I want to follow a woman around shopping, I would've become a sales associate. The woman should really get a different color for her wardrobe aside from pink. Seriously, pink dress, pink lipstick, pink shoes, pink everything. What I wouldn't give to have this mission title into "A Study in Pink" at least that has murders. Oh, how I wish this was an assassination mission, anything to get away from this monotony.
"Dying?" asked Shisui evenly, his eyes glinting with mirth as he kept his face straight.
"As if Hizashi sensei would accept that excuse." I replied airily, doing my best to maintain my posture and form.
A wry grin touched his lips. "Have you seen Itachi recently?" asked Shisui.
"Not since Fugaku-san passed my morning training to Hizashi sensei… he was quite adamant that I finish training with kunoichi training." I resisted the urge to sigh.
"Looks like you made progress," said Shisui in good humor as he bumped shoulders with me. "I would never think that our little Kasa could pull off being a lady."
I broke my attention on our target and glanced briefly at him. "Am I supposed to take that as a compliment or an insult?"
"Had it been a couple of weeks ago, your fiery temper would've flared up, followed with a duck threat," said Shisui with a soft theatrical sigh. "I'm going to miss that… Hmm, now that I think of it, how exactly were you going to turn us into ducks anyhow?"
"…Turning people into ducks requires an intricate process of completely unnecessary steps, with roller-skates, tar and lots and lots of duck feathers." I answered.
"…That's it?" said Shisui with a raised brow as if he's disappointed. "From how you always talked about it, I thought there would be more."
"That's the child friendly version." I added. "The other one would require me to knock you out, disable you from using chakra and taijutsu ever again and then sell you to a madam to shell you out to the highest bidder, which most likely will be creepy pedophiles that has a fondness for snakes and other kinky things."
Shisui stared at me wordlessly.
"I'm still debating which one I should do." I said pleasantly, biting back the urge to cackle at the look on his face.
"… Do I want to know what the heck you two are talking about?" crackled Zaji's voice over the headset.
I paused, startled by his voice. "…Were our headsets on the whole time?"
"Nope, just yours," replied Zaji. "…Should I worry that you might turn us into ducks anytime soon?"
"I don't believe so," crackled Muta's voice as he joined in the conversation. "From what I've gathered, only those with the Uchiha name were given such threats."
"Oh," drew out Zaji in realization. "So it's an Uchiha thing. I didn't know you guys liked girls that's—"
"Zaji, it will become your thing if you continue on that train of thought," said Shisui warningly.
"He's getting defensive," said Muta. "I believe that is a sign of—"
"The mission," interrupted Hizashi, exasperation tethering at the edge of his voice. "Or have you all forgotten about it?"
"Target sighted at twelve." I answered to make sure Hizashi doesn't kill me later with more training. I wonder if clashing conversations was another Konoha team dynamic because even the normally calm Shisui wasn't immune to the squabbling.
"The guy looks old enough to be her father," commented Zaji. "Is he really the guy we're looking for?"
"It's possible he's just an acquaintance of sorts," noted Muta. "Maybe a business partner of our client?"
"…I don't think so, something about them doesn't seem right," said Shisui.
"What do you mean?" asked Zaji.
"Just look at the way she smiles at him," said Shisui as he pointed out the subtle interactions between the two. "That sort of smile isn't one you give to someone you barely know. Not to mention the subtle way they brush their hands against one another. There's something more here."
"Hizashi sensei, should I confirm it?" I asked.
"Try not to screw up," replied Hizashi, his voice distorted through the static.
Shisui glanced at me curiously. "What are you planning?"
"Just watch." I said conspiringly with a grin before darting behind a building for cover. My hands went through a short run of seals as I charged up my chakra. "Transform!"
In a poof, I appeared as a frantic looking handmaid from our client's household before dashing out towards the woman.
"Milady Rina!" I cried out daintily as I weaved through the crowd in an amateurish fashion. Good lord, someone punch me. I used the word dainty to describe myself. "Milady wait!"
The reaction was near immediate; the woman tensed and snapped her attention to me. The man on the other hand remained calm and made a smooth turn of his heel to walk off. If we weren't watching them, it would have been a smooth escape for him. There's definitely something up with them.
"What is it Sayuri?" asked the woman stiffly. With the way she carried herself, she was doing her best to not allow her gaze to follow the man.
"Ryunosuke-sama will be having guests this evening, will you be joining him for dinner?" I asked, faking the breathless heave from the run.
"You came all this way out here to ask me that question?" She stared at me in a deadpan. "Of course I'll be home! When am I not home? Are you stupid?"
"Sorry, milady!" I whimpered pathetically, refusing to break character. I probably should've picked a better question, but too late now. Just stick with it! "But you left without a word this morning so I thought—"
"You thought wrong!" snapped Rina in ire. "What do I have to do to get someone with a brain around here? No! Not even a brain! Even half a brain would be better than an idiot like you!"
Wow… harsh much? I feel a little bad for the girl I'm impersonating. I wonder if I can sue her for mental anguish? Would that even exist in this world? Hmm, scratch that, I don't care. What with this weird semi-feudal-ish world, I'm not about to waste time dissecting its laws and ethics. Besides, I'm a freaking ninja! We work around the law anyway. I'll make sure to leave something nice for the woman before our mission is over.
"Why are you still standing here? Don't we have guests coming? Go home and tend to your duties!" snapped the woman.
"Y-yes milady!" I stuttered for good measure as I bowed repeatedly.
"Don't just stand there! Get going!" snapped the woman again before I gave one last bow and darted off in a frenzy, crashing into several people and apologizing as I went. Maybe I should've picked a maid that was less clumsy… The poor thing is going to get a tongue lashing later.
"You couldn't have thought of a better question?" crackled Shisui's voice over the hidden earpiece as I ran for cover.
"I confirmed it did I not?" I retorted under my breath as I hid myself and laced my fingers together. "Kai!" The image of the distressed maid disappeared and I peeked out from my cover for a better look at our target.
"I've got to say, lover-boy is slick," said Zaji. "He slipped away pretty smooth for a civilian."
"The man is hardly a boy," injected Muta.
"Do you need to take everything so literally?" grumbled Zaji.
"What's our next objective?" I interrupted before another bout of team squabbling starts. I swear they're almost as bad as my team. "Do we report back to the client? Or do we continue to observe and gather more information on the man?"
"What do you all think?" asked Hizashi, obviously testing our decision-making on the field.
On the one hand, we know the face of the man we were paid to find. On the other, our client might or might not know who he is. Do we follow and gather more information, such as his name and locations where he could be found or do we report back to the client? In a C-Ranked mission, it would save a ton of time if we just went with the extra step and stalked the man, in case the client had no clue of the man's identity.
However, had the mission been a higher rank and enemy shinobi were involve, the decisions would be made differently. Blindly stalking a target is not the wisest thing to do.
"I say we report back to the client and call it a day," said Zaji. "We found the guy he wanted right? And we could just do a transformation for him to see his face."
"What if the client has no clue who that is?" interrupted Muta. "I suggest we follow the suspect and gather as much information as we can on the off chance that the client requests a follow-up and further investigation."
"But that's not even a part of the mission objective!" complained Zaji.
"Would you rather waste time scouring the town looking for the man at a later time if we do end up getting an add-on in the mission?" retorted Muta.
"No," grumbled Zaji.
"I don't think Zaji's completely wrong though," commented Shisui.
"Your thoughts?" asked Hizashi.
"Technically, our mission is done and over the moment we found our client's wife with that man and the extra legwork isn't really necessary considering our mission parameters doesn't include a thorough investigation. However, I do agree with Muta that there might be a possibility that we might have an add-on to the mission if the client is not pleased," noted Shisui.
"And what do you propose we do?" continued Hizashi, his betraying none of his thoughts.
"We should follow the suspect and gather whatever information we could, at least until we can locate him again if necessary. If not, the amount of effort we wasted is minimal at best," concluded Shisui.
"Kasa?" continued Hizashi, his voice betraying nothing. "Your thoughts?"
"Uh…" Shit, what do I say? "I think Shisui has a valid point, but…"
"But?" prompted Hizashi.
Crap… uh… m-make up something! Quick!
"There's a miniscule chance that the suspect isn't our target. I think we should split into two teams, one to investigate the suspect, preferably a team with better combative skills in case things go sour. The other team, one that is more familiar with our target, should continue surveillance on Rina-san." I blurted.
Shit! Why did I suggest splitting the team? Nothing good ever happens when people split up! Or was that only in horror movies? Huh… when was the last time I saw a movie? Better yet, what was the last movie I saw?
"…Did you all get that?" said Hizashi as he finished whatever orders he was giving.
Damn it! Curse you, short attention span!
"Um… Can you repeat that? I didn't pick that up." I lied.
"…You dazed off again," droned Hizashi.
"No I didn't!" I protested.
Dead silence followed and it would have likely continued much longer if I weren't already aware of the scathing glare accompanying the silence.
"… Yes…" I muttered under my breath. "I apologize for my lack of attention."
"Do try to pay more attention in the future," noted Hizashi. "We're splitting into two teams as you suggested. The team following Rina will comprise of Shisui and Muta. You and Zaji will be with me following our suspect."
"…Why am I on the pursuit team?" I asked warily, certain that my combative skills are subpar compared to my new teammates.
"It's obvious due to the fact neither you nor Zaji should be trusted to stalk a target without Hizashi sensei's guidance," droned Muta.
Ah, that makes more sense.
"Hey!" protested Zaji. "I am totally capable of handling myself! Hizashi sensei obviously put us on this team because he knows we kick ass."
More like ass kicked. Personally, I'm not bother by this; at least I know if I screw up, Hizashi would be there to save my sorry ass.
What? I'm a freaking level one medic with barely any medical skills and crappy ass defense. I'd be glad I survive fighting sewer rats and ginormous bees! Though… knowing my luck, I'd be bested by a slime. A level one slime, now wouldn't that be sad?
"Uh… Hizashi sensei, both targets are leaving." I interrupted.
"You all know what your objective is," started Hizashi. "If all goes well, we'll rendezvous in an hour. You all know where."
"Except Kasa," inserted Shisui cheerily.
"I dearly hope you fall into a pit and drop into an endless abyss where you will perish." I said with sugary venom.
Shisui chuckled. "I love you too."
"Enough, Team Thirteen move out," ordered Hizashi.
Once we split and followed our targets, it didn't take long before Shisui and Muta left our communication range. As genin we were issued the standard radio with a hundred-meter radius, a range that's hardly useful for anyone above a genin, but for a jounin sensei, it meant if shit happens they have more than enough time to get to their student, give the idiot in trouble didn't get themselves killed.
"So, what would make a woman like a man that's old enough to be her father?" asked Zaji curiously.
"Many reasons," said Hizashi, but supplied no further information.
"That's it?" said Zaji in disappointment when silence fell. "No wise words? No warnings about how all women are evil?"
"You do know it defeats the purpose of him warning you if you know already right?" I drawled over the static.
"Touché," noted Zaji. "So, same question as before, why would a woman like a man that's old enough to be her father?"
He's a persistent one isn't he? I'm surprised Hizashi sensei hasn't killer-intent his ass to the grave yet…. Or has he done it already and this was the aftermath?
"Why are you asking me?" I returned the question.
"Duh, you're a girl," said Zaji. Even without seeing him I could tell he's was rolling his eyes.
"And you're a boy." I agreed.
"Huh?" said Zaji, puzzled. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Exactly." I said.
"Are you sure you're eight?" asked Zaji.
"No, I'm actually in my thirties if you count the last eight years of this second life." I replied truthfully, as if anyone is going to believe it.
"…Wait, serious?" asked Zaji, baffled. Well, maybe this one would…
"I'm under disguise in a transformation jutsu. I'm actually a four hundred-foot tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings… that sparkles when in direct sunlight." I added as an after thought.
"Now you're just yanking my chain," grumbled Zaji. "As if anyone sparkles in the sunlight. You've got to show me your true form sometime thought okay? I've never seen a platypus bear before."
I paused briefly. "Were you dropped on your head as a child?" I asked.
"Were you?" retorted the boy.
"Cease your bickering and keep your eyes on our suspect," ordered Hizashi.
"Yes, sensei." We chorused, but let it be known we will have another match!
Compared to the rest of the mission, bickering with Zaji was actually kind of fun. He's not dull-witted as acts even though he technically is that idiot of the team. It was all an act, remember what I said about Hizashi assigning everyone a role on a weekly or bi-monthly basis? Zaji's role for this particular week was a gullible country bumpkin. If I didn't know about Hizashi's training routine, I might actually think he was that daft. Though, the act wasn't too far off from his true personality. After all, Hizashi knows the limits of his students and we are only just genin.
I feel a little gypped that my assigned role was a proper lady. I could do it, I just don't like to.
Anyway, the rest of the mission was rather dull. Can't expect much, considering in C-Rank missions, the most danger was a possible bandit attack and while I'd like to say our suspect was secretly some big-shot Yakuza boss and we totally stumbled into his lair and fought about a hundred men each, that didn't happen. Rina just had a taste for older men and he wasn't the only one. Shisui and Muta found several others while following her.
You should've seen the look on our client's face when we showed him the faces of the men we found. Who knew she was a serial adulterer? She's really good at keeping it a secret too, none of them knew about the other men. I wonder if we can recruit her and train her to be a kunoichi? She has the whole subterfuge thing down.
Nah, she'd probably hate us for cutting off her cash cow and backstab us without us knowing. She is a good actress after all.
Anyway, by the time I finished the third C-Ranked mission with Team Thirteen, the chakra inhibitors were long out of Tokuma and Team Four was reinstated the week he formally rejoined the active roster. As fun as it was with Team Thirteen—I'm using fun loosely, I hate reconnaissance work—I missed the oddity of Team Four.
"TOKUMA!" I screamed as I tackled the Hyuga boy with a hug. "I missed you!"
"You saw me this morning for training!" He placed a hand on my face, trying to pry himself from my crushing hug.
"But that was training with Hizashi sensei!" I whined.
"Get off!" grunted Tokuma as we got into a weird redirecting game. Where he would slip out of my grasp, but I'll dance into his path and latch on again before he manages to flee.
"Give it up Tokuma," sighed Santa as he rolled his eyes. "She did the same thing to me when she saw me five minutes ago."
"Damn it, I should've never let Hizashi-sama teach you all those moves!" complained Tokuma as I caught him again and hung off his back like a koala bear.
While I'm still not much for combat, most of the dances and moves Hizashi taught me were good for evasive maneuvers as well as interception. The C-Ranked missions that followed the initial mission with Rina all turned into interception missions when the targets fled and retaliated. Not that I did much of the fighting. My role in those missions was to intercept and confuse or distress the target. You'd be surprise how many grown men succumb to a lost child that's close to tears.
Though, that's only if they're not heartless bastards. In cases like those, use the surrounding crowd to your advantage. That's right; mob mentality, make a crowd think the target is bullying a helpless little girl and then sic them on him. It works wonders.
"Who would've thought a dead last like Kasa could find a way to cling onto you of all people," sniggered Santa as Tokuma finally gave up and I hung on his back like a limp doll.
"Everyone has his or her specialties," interrupted Kurei before we snapped attention to his voice.
"KUREI SENSEI!" I used Tokuma as a bouncing board as I pounced towards our jounin sensei. However, before I could latch onto the man, he grabbed me by the back of my kimono and hauled me up like a bad puppy.
"I'm glad to see you too, but I do believe Hizashi mentioned something about receiving updates on your performance every now and then," commented Kurei.
My blood ran cold and likely my face paled if the amused look on the jounin's face was any indication. "No! Don't tell him about this! I'll be good! I promise! If he hears about this, he'll murder me!" I whimpered pathetically.
"Will I see you accosting your teammates again tomorrow?" asked Kurei.
"Noooo," I wailed. Had I paid attention, I would've noticed the hint of amusement glinting in his normally stoic red eyes. Since I wasn't, I wailed like no tomorrow. "I'll be a good girl! Don't make me take calligraphy lessons again! I'll do anything! I'll give you my first born!"
"… Is this Hizashi sensei that scary?" asked Santa as my offers became more and more ridiculous.
"His lessons aren't that bad…she's just really bad at it," noted Tokuma.
"Sensei, while Kasa's having her mental breakdown, what's on the agenda today?" asked Santa, completely ignoring my babbling mess.
Of course, I didn't notice one bit of the conversation going on, rambling like a lunatic will do that to you. Considering this was the first day back for Tokuma, we ended up doing mainly D-Ranked missions, something to ease him back into the groove or some nonsense of the sort. I expected it to take as much time as we've done before, but surprisingly we finished in half the time.
"Does it seem like it was much easier?" I asked once the mission debriefing was over and we handed in our completed mission scroll to the office.
"It better be easy," grumbled Santa. "This is nothing compared to the six C-Ranks Shirakumo-sensei put me through."
"Shirakumo-sensei?" I asked.
"Your other boyfriend's sensei." Tokuma raised a brow. "What kind of ninja are you? Shouldn't you at least know that?"
"I'm not going to even retort to that." I huffed and turned my attention back to Santa. "So, what sort of C-Ranks did you get? Hizashi-sensei only got us the reconnaissance related ones."
"Escort missions," said Santa in a deadpan. "In general, they're not bad, but when Itachi steps in to fight, let me tell you, your boyfriend is a beast. It's near impossible to keep up with his speed and Shirakumo-sensei will run you to the ground if you don't pull your weight during missions. I've lost count how many punishment exercises I've been through."
"I guess that explains part of it." I murmured.
"You of course, we don't need to ask if your psychotic meltdown earlier was any indication," drawled Santa but glanced to Tokuma guiltily when he noticed our quiet teammate. "Sorry, we really shouldn't be talking about C-Ranks, it's my fault that you were indisposed for so long."
"The time's not wasted," said Tokuma after a moment. "I've improved on my training despite the chakra restrictions. I just need some time to refine it… though…" a wry grin touched his lips. "It was quite amusing to pulverize the dead last every morning."
"You did not pulverize me!" I huffed. "I was going easy on you."
"Sure, in another reality maybe," said Tokuma in good humor.
"Should I send you into another impromptu vacation again?" I grumbled.
"That was all Santa, you were just picking up his spoils," snorted Tokuma.
"Oh yeah?" I puffed up my cheeks. "I've gotten better! I'll totally beat you during our next training session!"
"I like to see you try," continued Tokuma. "Without Santa, you're not that hard to beat."
"Do I need to break you two up again?" sighed Santa. "We just got back!"
He was promptly ignored as we continued bickering. Even Kurei-sensei didn't bother with his personal input this time. Even though we were apart for weeks, our team still picked up exactly where we left off. No doubt giving the man a migraine or an ulcer.
Overall, my short time as a genin seemed peaceful and calm compared to the previous years of terror and panic. Though, unless someone turns inexplicably evil in the next week or two it'd be hard to match the terrors that plagued me the past three years in Konoha.
I wonder how long will this calmness last? I get the feeling that something was going to change soon. Something big. It was something I should worry about, yet for the life of me, I couldn't make sense about this nagging feeling at the back of my mind.
What exactly?
"Sa-sa!" chirped Naruto's cheery voice as I stepped through the door and shuffled off my shoes.
"Hey, Naru, did you miss me?" I said, patting his head as he clung onto my leg briefly before darting off to who knows where in the house in a giggle.
Ah, whatever it is, I'm sure it's nothing too bad… I hope.
Author's Note: I'm back! Updates aren't going to be back to speed just yet, but as I promised. A new chapter in roughly a month's time. Now that we've gotten through intro to being a genin, let's get to the fun bits! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you guys are awesome!