Your Ghost

I keep going to the river to pray

'Cause I need something that can wash all the pain.

And at most I'm sleeping all these demons away
But your ghost, the ghost of you
It keeps me awake.

Bella's pov:

As we made our way to the cabin...the rain pored down loud and hard, pittering and pattering before breaking away as I spread out my palm to catch a few droplets that slipped astray.

"Are you sure they are there ?".

I looked up straight at the boy while subtly glancing at Edward, silently asking him the question which he absentmindedly nods conforming Mathew's unsure ramblings.

"well, they should be." He looked down at his watch and back up at is again.

"At this time of the night and in this kind of weather…..? I doubt they would be anywhere else..." .I watched his shoulders hunch in disappointment as he knocked again. "Maybe we should just…."

The door flung open reveling a rather small, slender women wrapped up in a dark,red cashmere shawl leaning against the door her heart shaped face and her angular features softened by a few trendials of curls that seemed to have slipped from her neat bunk the stranger seemed to portray a rather kind, motherly figure that belonged with the stars in a silent movie era,

I felt Edward grip tighten on my arms. His body tensed as he watched the pulse by her neck a bit too long.I held on to him strongly interlocking my fingers through his while rubbing his palm in soothing circles. Subtly, I looked at him in the eye, hoping to convey a bit of my reassurance and strength to a part of stared back,almost in awe before the his fingers latched onto mine in response. i felt myself smile.

"oh Mathew ?! sweetheart ! what are you doing out there in the cold? come in,come in".

Her bright brown eyes shone in youthful enthusiasm as she stepped aside to let us in. "all of you".

I pulled my hand casually from his grasp, before wrapping my arms around myself pretending to warm up. Looking away to evaluate my surroundings instead of his face. From the dark pine furniture to the filled up frames, my eyes finally stopped at a rather tall,grey haired man that stood strong and silent by the fire place. His cautious smile softening as he layed aside a thick book by its shelf.

I smiled back shyly as the stranger walked up to her husband,hooking her arm to his,buoyantly. "oh Robert look ,guests !". Her grey eyes seeming to land on my golden ones from across the hall ."What's your name dear ?"

"Bella". I answered stepping aside quietly as she diverted her attention to Edward. "and young man ?".

His answering demur strongly contradicting mine as he stepped forward grinning instead."Edward Cullen, ."

She smiled responsively before enveloping Mathew in a fierce embrace.

"and you Mathew ! how have you been, dear ? its been months since you visited down here honey ! and how is your father by the way ? Still deciding to run the garage alone?".

He returned her hug in a equally loving gesture.

"We are all fine Claire.I had just decided to drop by for the fall before heading back to NY,next week. Oh and dad ? he's probabley waiting for me right now.I promised I would finish off dinner with him…..",he looked out at the window frowning slightly ."I think its best if I leave now so I can get back before the storm hits." He turned towards us."I just wanted to make sure Edward and bella get a comfortable place for the night but I wan't sure if the Spencers had left.."

This time it spoke up. "Of course you're all welcome to 's been pestering me for company all evening forcing me to read her favorite lines from classics To her." He laughed softly as he held,his lovely wife close.

" oh shush now Robert ! ", she smacked his arm playfully . "I don't think they would want to hear your ramble this late ."

She looked back at us apologetically, "Dont mind him dear. Robert's just whining that we interrupted his usually reading sessions and its true I don't mind a bit of company at all. It's been quite mellow,since our guests left last night…..That is if our humble home is acceptable to you both..."

"Oh of course ! Thank you ! We would really appreciate it if you could spare a room for the night...its been rather been a long day". I glared up at Edward's guilty face emphasizing on the word long ,before smiling back at her." I'm glad Mathew let us know about the opening home really is beautiful, ."

She stepped forward taking my hand in hers while beaming at my complement. Her motherly smile and strong hold subconsciously reminding me of Esme."Thank you, my dear. And please call me Claire, honey. Mrs. Grey is my mother-in-law , not me ! ".We laughed softly while the men stepped away discussing, accommodations and the rents, before Mathew finally departed for the night.

I followed Claire quietly, as she walked down the hallway, indicating to different rooms as we walked by. My eyes darted around the walls,observing the framen's in mild curiosity as I looked up at a young blue eyed girl that occupied almost every frame to the end. From her child hood photos to her late teens. It all stood there in silent provocation just begging for various personal questions to be raised.

Who was this girl ?

I made a mental note to ask Edward later,as the owner stepped aside pushing open, a wide wooden door.

"and this…..is your room".

I looked around surprised by the cabin's space that radiated a comfortable aura and warm blend of colors, before peeling away my drenched coat and disposing onto the empty cloth stand.

Edward stepped in from behind me."Thank you so much Claire.I really can't began to tell you,how much Bella and I appreciate this."

She laughed, waving the compliment away like it was nothing. "Nonsense my dears.I told you,I always enjoy a good company out here. In fact I don't think Robert could thank you enough for keeping my mind engaged now, ever since my dear charol-…."

She stopped abruptly as if she thought of something better or important to say than continue. "Spuppers ,ready if you both would like some...but please make yourself at home before that .I think you'll find a couple of shirts n pants I hung up,earlier today, by the end of the wardrobe. Spares you see..so please do go ahead and use them,if you ever feel the necessity."

She smiled softly,her mood slightly damped from earlier. "I'll go set the table for all of us tonight,I'm sure your both exhausted and famished after today but I'll leave you both for now". She quickly turned around and walked away shutting the door softly behind her beforebwe could form a word of thanks.

I listened nervously as her resounding footsteps faded away, leaving behind just the sharp crackling of the firewood to fill the silence..

Edward cleared his throat. Just as we both began to speak simontanusly.

"would you mind if .."

"bella you can…".

We stopped midsentence, grinning sheepishly as our light laughter echoed through the room breaking the ice. Edward looked adorable as he fumbled over words,causing my smile to grow wider than it was….

Well he was Mr. perfect after all.

He ran his fingers through his copper tinted hair. Stammering as he shuffled from afoot to the other.

"What I meant to say was that you can, I mean if u-…you know what ? I 'll just go and…see if there is any payment to settle or something so umm if u would like to change. then….." He smiled slightly backing away until the door stood between us..

Oh, no wonder he was so flustered.I would have blushed too if I could.

"Oh..um...yeah just give me five min. I'll try to be out by then Or you could just..." He smiled more genuinely this time as he replied and left. "no, its fine Take your time."

I stilled reflexively for a moment, as if in after thought, before padding over to the polican bathroom for a quick and warm shower...as the hot water crheaded down my cold body,I let my mind wander letting the day's memories flow in through a quick replay before shifting through certain actions and consciences.

I'm going to have a lot of answering to do when I get back...

Groaning I stepped out of the shower, wrapping myself in a towel, before sprinting over to the wardrobe to pull out a maroon-red full sleeves and soft black sweat pants, slipping them both on me.

Making my way to the old oak dresser,I flopped down and glared at my messed up reflection while working the hair brush through my tangled wet hair.

Ugh.

I heard a soft knock at the door , before I looked up and caught Claire's reflection.

"mind if I come in ?" she asked .

"of course, claire". I sat up straighter as she walked over to the dresser to pulling out the wooden comb from my hand.

"here, let me help."

She gently bought down the comb,working it through my tangled hair, before beginning quietly.

"Edward said you were only staying for the night, and that the two of you would be heading back by dawn tomorrow. "

My eyes drifted down as I nodded. "Its true, I'll have to get back by this weekend for…a family gathering I can't miss. This wasn't actually a road trip . Edward and I were just passing by the area on a long drive before the car broke down on us".I chuckled softly, as I thought back to the day's event. I don't think anyone could have ever guessed that so much could happen in 24hrs….except Alice…hey wait a min..if Alice had seen this she would have surly..-

Claire signed ."Oh dear..i was hoping if you could stay back a day or two for the bonfire tomorrow. Your fiancé did saI'd that it wouldnt be possible but still,I just hoping that you would convince him otherwise…."

Fiancé…?

My head snapped up at the word. "fiancé…?"

She stopped her movement midway, as she caught the confused tenor in my voice. "You both are engaged aren't you ,dear ?".She looked subtly down at my engagement ring . "I mean…. I just assumed.."

"no..no…I mean yes..I'm engaged, but not to Edward. He's just my…".I hesitated. " my good friend. Someone I've known for a very long time..."

"good friends ?" she repeated dubious."But the way he looks at you and you at him..my…one would think other wise."

I bit my lip as I looked away. "no…it isn't like that..".not anymore. "He just flew down to attend the wedding .and..and this trip….".I signed. "Honestly I don't know what I'm doing here anymore…".
I could have easily left, easily made my way back home in time for the wedding preparations.I didn't need sleep or shelter neither did I have an obligation keeping me here unlike the one waiting for me back home.

"I see…"Claire replied wistfully, running the brush softly through my hair, a couple more times, before setting it aside. I found the gesture comforting.

"But tell me something dear, is this man, and this wedding what you truly want ? Does it really mean more to you than a life time with your edward instead ?"

I stared, wide eyed. How did she ….?

She laughed softly at my bewilded expression before explaining. "I may be old, young lady but im not blind . I see the way you look at him dear, exactly the way he looks at you. And I know for a fact, that you love him and that you truly want it all with him instead. But you've been hurt before and now yet you're afraid of suffering from a heartbreak just before you make it to the end…"

I felt my throat tighten as I thought this over. Was it really the only reason I was holding back.

Because I was afraid?
Of the risk…the faith..and the consequences of my decision ?

I signed averting my eyes away again , in indecision,unable to really talk about this anymore.I felt her squeeze a side of my shoulder comfortingly.

"Just think about it Bella...eternity is a long time to promise someone you'll end up hurting down the road..Your resentment for the world will grow if you don't forgive the past and its mistakes..."

"Thank you claire, I …..i promise I'll think about it…. and your right I do need some more time…I don't think I'm ready to go back yet if I still can't seem to decide on what I mind…its telling me to give up and let go and yet my heart…..my heart doesn't seem to want to."

She nodded squeezing my hand before,quietly making her way to the door.."You'll do the right thing sweet girl just give you self night young Bella"

I smiled beforev whispering."Goodnight."

Hey guys,

Sorry for the late and short update (yeh I know ) I have terminals coming up so, trying to fix up my armour for the battle field is taking up most of my time right now.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you did ..pls leave me a review !

An alert/review email from you guys are like a sugar cookies to me.. ;) So leave me one !

-dorsa