Cosima ended the call, Delphine was not picking up. Maybe she's still in the meeting. The student saw the professor leaving with the dean after they finished up in the lab. The brunette was waiting outside by the tables near the main door. The professor's parking lot was around the back and they would not cross that street, so there was no danger of being caught waiting for Delphine. Besides, the campus was mostly quiet but for a few students and professors in a hurry to get home. Cosima decided to follow the example and leave; once she arrived home she would try Delphine again.

At her small apartment she placed her bag on the sofa, after retrieving her phone and threw herself on the bed reaching for the pillow where Delphine's head spent the night. The scent of the blonde's shampoo still lingered, jolting her brain to the memory of that morning. Cosima resisted the impulse of sniffing the pillow, instead she grabbed her phone, trying Delphine again, who was still not answering. That's odd! She glanced at her watch, it was almost eight, the professor should be free by now. Then again… She didn't know what was going on at those meetings, the student had no idea how long they could take. However, she remembered Delphine complaining about the length of them.

After dinner she tried the professor once more, with the same results. She texted Delphine: "Is everything ok? Call me when you can." Cosima didn't want to sound too pushy. At eleven there was still no word from the Frenchwoman and she was getting worried.

Cosima hardly slept and when her alarm-clock went off she was long awake. She was tired but the first class of the day was immunology, so she quickly got ready and was already at her building's door when Scott passed by her place to pick her up.

"Well, isn't this a surprised?" His face presented a smile, which soon faded when his eyes settled on his friend's face. "Not a good morning, then?"

"No, definitely not a good morning!" She started to walk next to him, a slow pace. There was no reason to hurry, she could do nothing but wait until she had the opportunity to be alone with Delphine.

"What happened now?" The young man asked, a concerned expression plastered his face.

"I'm not sure yet. But I'll find out soon enough!" Was the brunette's response, which made her friend realize this wasn't a conversation Cosima wanted to extend. So they walked in silence along their usual path.

They sat on their usual spots, the amphitheater still half-empty, it was five minutes before the beginning of the class. Cosima removed her notebook from its bag, taking a chance to check her phone once more. There was no news from Delphine over the night and this morning the same thing. The student decided earlier not to try the professor again; she would see her soon.

The classroom was already filled when the Frenchwoman arrived. Her head down, not looking around the room, like it was her habit, no greetings. Delphine moved to her desk placing her laptop brief and purse on top of it, with a deep sigh. She finally lifted her head, her glances avoiding the front row.

"Let's start!" A serious expression taking her entire face. Cosima was staring, in disbelieve, at Delphine: deep bags under her eyes, like she spent the night awake; her movements stiff, slower than usual, as she started the presentation; her voice scarcely audible, constantly breaking, which made the professor keep clearing her throat.

During the entire class not once had her eyes rest in Cosima, whose unrest was growing every passing minute. A voice, that Cosima didn't know where it came from, screaming louder and louder in the back of her mind.

When the hour was over, Cosima hurriedly gather her things, meaning to go talk with the professor. I'll make her look at me! But when she glanced again to Delphine's desk she was gone, without taking the usual questions at the end of the lesson. What the hell!? The student was lost, suddenly not knowing what to do. Her friend, who was waiting for her to make up her mind, brought her back to reality with a touch to her elbow.

"Cosima, are you okay? We need to leave for next class!" His face right in front of her.

"Uh? What?... Oh, yeah, right. Sorry." An apologetic smile, taking her leave next to Scott.

Cosima didn't understand what was going on with Delphine. Last night's silence and now this…

At lunch her curiosity gained and, after giving Scott a lame excuse, she was walking down the hall that lead to the professors' offices. She knocked on Delphine's door and when there was no answer she tried again…nothing. Cosima placed her hand on the knob to open the door, but a male voice behind her stopped her. "Can I help you, Ms. Niehaus?"

Cosima turned to be face to face with the dean. "Huh? No… I've got some questions for Dr. Cormier." Slightly blushing.

"Mm hm… But perhaps I can answer them!" Dr. Leekie was smiling, not like his usual fake smile, but a genuine one and, even though the student didn't think possible, this smile made her even more uncomfortable.

"No… no… It's about the class…umm…immunology…"

"Oh, okay. I see…" He replied. "Well, that has to wait, then. I'm afraid Dr. Cormier left campus for lunch."

Damn! "Oh... I'll talk with her later, then." Cosima started to walk back out, trying to get some distance from the man, but he followed her.

"Yes! You'll see her at the end of the day, when you go check on the trial." He kept walking next to her. "Speaking of it: I was very pleased to see that your latest report was according to your standards."

"Glad to hear it." The brunette was scarcely listening, her mind going over the several possibilities why Delphine was not in her office during lunch, like she used to. Maybe she went out for lunch with her colleagues, maybe something came up back home and she had to leave to call her family. Please, anything but trying to avoid me. Although, more and more, that prospect was gaining form in Cosima's mind. A lot had changed in Delphine's routine to be a coincidence.

The afternoon managed to be even worse than the morning, progressing extra-slow, minutes ticking by like hours. The closest the end of the day was, the slower the time passed by. Cosima was pacing to Lab C, going as fast as she could without running, Alex was already by the door, waiting. She barely exchanged two words with her partner when she pushed her way into the room. But as she feared, Delphine was not in; at least not yet. Cosima knew that, sooner or later, the professor would need to be there.

The student was almost finishing the report when, finally, the Frenchwoman arrived. But Cosima made no movement to go meet her professor. She has to come here! So she waited, with a patience she didn't feel, until Delphine made her round through all the stations, reserving for last Cosima and Alex's.

Cosima sensed the professor approaching their station, but didn't lift her eyes from the computer's screen. In part because she was genuinely pissed at Delphine and, on the other hand, because she was afraid her feelings were going to be released right in front of her partner.

"Is everything going well in here?" The professor asked.

Cosima didn't answer, it was Alex who talked. "Yeah, we're almost finished."

"Good! Once you deliver the report you're free to leave." Delphine informed. She was keeping her distance from Cosima, standing next to Alex. And, after a small pause, she left them to join Dr. Leekie at the main desk.

When they were done Cosima told Alex she could leave, the older student wanted to deliver the report herself. She was tired of all the waiting. Steady strides guided her to where the professor and the dean were talking.

She cleared her voice to get their attention and handed them the report. "We're all done for today!"

Dr. Leekie received the recently printed paper. "Perfect. You can leave, if you want."

"Actually, I kind of need to talk with Dr. Cormier." She struggled to sound calm. "About those questions earlier…"

Dr. Leekie looked at the professor, who was sat at the desk looking at something in the monitor of her laptop. "Oh, well, of course. Although, I don't think this is the appropriated venue, since it doesn't relate to the project, right?" This caught Cosima by surprise, she was trying herself to find a good excuse to get Delphine away from the lab.

"Uhm? Right!" A frowned expression.

"Dr. Cormier, you can go talk with your student in your office. I'll finish up here." The professor raised her head, looking at her boss, mouth slightly open.

"Yes, of course." She closed the lid of the computer and got up, putting the machine under her arm. "Ms. Niehaus, shall we?" And waved her hand for Cosima to take the front.

They walked silently down the hall, the student, awkwardly, leading the way, too afraid to look behind, afraid of what she could see in Delphine's face. Cosima had no idea of what was going on, but she wasn't stupid, she knew something was wrong. All this changes in the professor… She braced herself for a fight.

The brunette had a closed expression, which was mirrored by the blonde when the door was open and both women entered. Delphine sat her computer on her desk and moved to the side of her chair, but didn't seat. The silent she reserved for Cosima the last 24 hours remained, looking down.

"Okay, do I have to start?" Cosima asked. Delphine said nothing. "Delphine!" She almost screamed.

"Keep it down, please!" The Frenchwoman finally said, in a low voice.

"Oh, I'll keep it down, as long as you tell me what the hell is going on!" The student demanded.

"Guess!" The blonde raised her head for the first time since they arrived, her eyes meeting Cosima's.

"Guess!? Seriously, that's all you've got to say? Guess!?" The younger woman was losing what little control she had left, but that didn't stop her from realizing that the professor was struggling to find the right words. I'm not going to help her, she has to say it!

The silence was thick, flooding the small space. Delphine opened her mouth but stopped before any sound could fill the air. The student took a deep breath, so her words didn't sound too harsh. "I'm going to need you to say the words Delphine, or else I'm not going to believe it."

Delphine's eyes were growing redder, she was fighting back tears, her lower lip stuck between her teeth, staring at her student. Until she broke the eye contact, lowering her head once more. "This has to end, Cosima."

Her words hardly reached Cosima's ears, so low they were spoken. Yet, it was enough to send the younger woman's world into shock, even though by now she had, indeed, guessed, somehow she was not ready to listening to it out loud. It made no sense, they were alright. Cosima was convinced all the doubts that had hunted her professor, and even herself, were dissolved in the mist of the feelings they felt for each other. This makes no sense!

"What happened?" She asked, because she couldn't imagine it was the old questions that had surfaced.

"Nothing happened!" Delphine answered, a little louder this time. "You always knew this could happen. It's not news to you."

"I don't believe it, what a lame excuse…" Cosima was not letting it go. "Don't tell me it's the same issues we had earlier, because I don't believe it. We talked about it and we knew it was something we could surpass!"

"No, Cosima, we really didn't!" The professor seemed to have found her voice and was now raising it. "We chose to ignore it, to pretend it wasn't there. But that doesn't mean the problem went away. It was always there, every time we were together, a shadow over our heads."

"Bullshit!" Cosima was mimicking her professor, raising her voice as well. "Something happened and you're too much of a coward to tell me, so we can deal with it. Together." She started to move, to get closer to Delphine. If only I reach her, I can touch her. She could see things my way.

But the Frenchwoman moved away as well, not allowing Cosima to get near. "Please, Cosima, try to understand. Why can't you see that this is too much? That I can't continue to do this, to live in a constant fear to get caught, afraid I might lose my job and with it everything I've ever worked for." Her voice broke, tears finally breaking free.

"Delphine, don't do this, please!" The brunette stopped trying to reach her professor. "You can't do this! You don't want to do this! Look at you!"

"No! Just let it go. It's over!" This time the Frenchwoman's voice didn't break, a flow of steady words escaping her lips. "All this sneaking around… This is not a relationship, it's a lie we tell ourselves so we can sleep better at night. But you know, deep down, I know you know…"

"If you think that you have no idea of who I am, what I can do." Cosima was fighting back her own tears. Was Delphine really convinced that they were not strong enough to pull through their difficulties? "Of course I knew this was hard, I just thought that we…"

"Cosima, stop! I don't want to listen anymore. I've made up my mind, there's nothing you can say that it will change my decision." She angrily cleaned her eyes with the palms of her hands. The professor stayed still and quiet for some time and after a deep shaky breath said. "I don't want this to disturb your work, either in school or with the project."

Cosima stared at her in disbelieve. Is that her major concern, after all…? "Please, don't flatter yourself… You think what? I'll dissolve into a messy crap just because we're no longer together… Oh wait, we were never together, right? So it doesn't matter much… Please!" The student said, words lashing out, her rage coming from a place she didn't know, and she wasn't aware why, but she wanted to hurt Delphine… "I was a great student and a happy person before you came, you think I can't be anymore because you're breaking my fucking heart… whatever!"

She didn't wait to hear Delphine's answer, she strode to the door opening it passing through and smashing it close, all in one motion. Now that she was out of sight, she let her tears run free, walking fast down the corridor. Most of what she said in there was a lie, but she didn't care. She knew Delphine was lying as well, she knew something other than what her professor said was behind her decision, she just didn't know what. Yeah, but I'll find out. Until then, fuck you, Delphine… See if you grow a spine!