Disclaimer: although I did my research, I cannot even begin to fully comprehend how hard it must be to live with any form of cancer and I apologize if any of the following story is inaccurate or comes across as insensitive.
"Wow!" Ino says, blue eyes wide in amazement as Hinata easily brushes through her new, short bob. "I'm not in any pain!"
I laugh from my spot on my bedroom floor and tease her, "having no hair is cool, huh?"
Last year when we went to prom both of us had hair that went almost all the way to our hips. It took us more than two hours to clean, brush and style it, but this year it'll more than likely take less than fifteen minutes.
"I hope Tenten hurries with breakfast," I mutter after my stomach grumbles. She had volunteered to go grab some breakfast burritos so we weren't fainting and smashing our done-up faces on the ground when we take pictures with the boys. Both of my friends nod in agreement.
We had arrived back at my house at two this morning and all of the girls just decided to stay the night. Well, besides Karin, she decided to go home and try to patch things up with Yokoi and the other girls, which we could all respect. My house is always the house for sleepovers. My mom is never home and even when she is she doesn't mind having a house full of rowdy girls.
I'm not sure if the boys decided to stay over somewhere or if they took Naruto with him. I kind of doubt it, since he had puked funnel cake all over some bushes right outside of the amusement park. I told him before hand that he would get sick if he had kept going on spinning rides. He just laughed and kissed me and told me that I worry too much. My face warms at the thought. He's my boyfriend now. It's… nice.
Ino must see my blush in the vanity mirror, because she asks me "What you thinkin' about, fivehead?" I look at her to see her waggle her eyebrows at me. "Or should I say 'who?'"
"Shut up," I say and throw a pillow at the back of her head. Hinata squeaks in surprise as it makes contact and abruptly interrupts her brushing. Ino gives me an offended look in the mirror.
"You're really going to ruin all of dear Hinata's work just because you're a little kindergartner who can't handle being teased because you have a boyfriend?" She asks, shaking her head and gaping at me sarcastically. I roll my eyes.
"I'm going to take a shower." I get up from my nest of blankets on my wood floor and make my way to the bathroom, face still blushing.
"Sakura and Naruto sitting in a tree!" She cries as I cross the hall to my bathroom. I can still hear her singing through my shut bathroom door. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
I roll my eyes but smile, my heart fluttering at the memory of our few stolen kisses on the ferris wheel. I start the shower and strip off my clothes, avoiding looking at myself in the mirror. I've lost a lot of weight since I've started treatment and I really don't need to be reminded that I'm beginning to resemble a skeleton.
I keep the temperature of the shower a little above my comfortable level, needing to feel the scalding water slip its way down my skin. It's so easy to be cold nowadays and I feel that maybe if I try hard enough, I can burn away the chill that comes with sickness.
As I lather myself up I can't help but stare at my bottles of shampoo and conditioner lying abandoned on my shelf. I'm sure they've been used by Ino or any of my other friends since, but they still look so… lonely.
I finish quickly, not having anything more to wash other than my body. And I don't really have to worry about shaving anymore. There's a plus. I guess.
When I get out I see my phone's screen lit up. It looks like I just missed a call. When I unlock my phone I see it's from a contact titled "Coolest Most Handsomest Boyfriend Ever" and I smile ear to ear like an idiot. I had forgotten he had changed it last night.
I sit on the toilet, toilet cover down, of course, and call Naruto back. It rings for a while before he picks up.
"Hey," he says and just hearing his voice gives me butterflies.
"Hi," I say, still grinning, "you called me."
"Right," he says, his voice lacking the usual cheeriness. "About that..." His voice dies out and the line goes quiet. The smile falls off my face and my eyebrows furrow.
"What's up?" I ask, trying to have a casual tone to my voice, but I can tell something is obviously wrong.
"I... I had another reaction early this morning," he says and my heart drops into my stomach.
"Oh my god," I say, clutching my phone with my other hand in response to the distressing news, "are you okay? Was it because of the rides?" He doesn't answer me and my heart drops into my stomach. "God dammit I knew I shouldn't have taken you on anything I am such an idiot-"
"It wasn't the amusement park, Sakura-chan," he interrupts my panicking, a soothing tone to his voice. "Granny says it had just been time. I'm like a biological clock. A ticking time bomb."
"Don't say that," I say, voice wobbling. 'You are so much more,' I want to say.
He sighs and I try to swallow my tears away. "So what else did Dr. Tsunade say?"
"She said..." He pauses, like he doesn't want to say or he doesn't even know what to say. "That I need rest. I'm bedridden."
"For how long?"
"A week," he says and I put a shaky hand to my forehead.
"Have you been bedridden for this long before?" I ask, anxiety creeping into my voice. What if this is more serious than he's letting on?
"Loads of times," he says dismissively. "But you know what this means... Right?" He asks, voice regretful again, "I can't take you to prom."
I bite my lip, of course it had occurred to me. "I don't care. I just want you well. Do you want me to come visit you instead? It's just a stupid dance after all," I say honestly.
"No," he says a little too sharply, but then he catches himself and softens his tone, "Don't say that, Sakura-chan, you've wanted this since you were little. I would never forgive myself if I were the reason you missed it."
"But Naruto-"
"No 'buts' Sakura-chan, Tsunade says no visitors at all for me. She's also going to confiscate my phone after we're done talking... so don't.. don't try to call me, okay?" He tells me and I shake my head in disbelief.
"What?!" I cry, "she can't do that!"
"Actually she can," he says dryly, "she's basically Hitler on Ice. I think she's honestly just worried I'll get over excited or we'll text out a master plan for escape."
"Sakura-San?" Hinata's voice tentatively comes from the other side of the bathroom door, coupled with soft knocking, "is everything alright?"
I ignore her. "That's not fair!" I tell Naruto and he's quiet for a moment. My heart pounds and my hands shake. I really need to calm down. I'm not mad that she's not going to let him come to prom. I get that 100%. But no visitors? No phone? No contact at all? What is she thinking?
"I called Shikamaru this morning and asked him and the other boys to take you as a date so you wouldn't be alone," he says with a false cheeriness to his voice, obviously changing the subject. "You'll be the only girl there with four dates."
Still tingling in anger from the news of his lack of communication with the outside world, I calm myself. It takes me a couple of moments to process the new development. I sigh and say "What?...four dates?" I look at my bathroom ceiling and the crack splintering from the corner. "It'll be a new record."
"That's the spirit." I can practically see him beaming with his unwavering optimism. "You'll have a good time."
"I'll try," I say and my voice wobbles. "Are you sure I can't just spend the night with you?" I ask pathetically, my chin trembling. The crack blurs in my vision and bleeds into the white of the ceiling.
"Sakura, please don't cry," he says, voice a little rough. "I love you so much," he pauses for a moment and takes a shaky breath, "and I know we only just said so last night but I've never felt something so true in my whole life."
"I love you, too." I break down, tears streaming down my face. I don't know why I'm getting so emotional. It's just one week.
"Don't cry," he pleads, voice soft, and it's such a simple, caring request that I start to cry more. He just wants to protect me from pain the same way I want to protect him.
"I'm not crying," I say and laugh numbly, a trembling hand wiping at my tears. "I just have something in my eyes."
"Both of them?" He asks, I can hear the shadow of our regular teasing coming through in his voice and I laugh again.
"Yeah, both of them. Don't you know how tears work?"
"Of course I don't. I'm a rock solid MAN."
I sniffle and smile, "so are you sure you'll be okay alone? I can break you out if you want. You can stay at my house. We can adopt you."
He laughs sadly, "Sorry Pinky, there's no getting out of this one. But I'll be fine, please don't waste time worrying about me. Go have fun. Dance, drink, sweat, sing, lose your shoes, kiss a couple of boys or girls or whatever. Just live, okay? I don't want to ruin the night where you finally fulfill your dream."
"That's silly. Why would anyone kiss anyone else but you?" I say, smiling for real this time. He always knows what to say to help.
"Right? That's what I ask myself daily."
"Oh my god you are such a little shit," I laugh, tears drying up. It's not the end of the world. It's just a week of not seeing him.
"Hey what happened to 'I love you!?'" He pouts.
"I can love you even if you're a little shit."
"Okay. Good." Someone mumbles something in the background and I hear him respond, but it's muffled and unintelligible. "Sakura-chan?"
"Yeah?"
"I have to go. I love you. I really do. Please have a good time. I'm sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't go with you. I'm sure you'll be beautiful and make all of the boys fall in love with you," he says.
"What are you even talking about?" I ask, crumpling the edge of my towel in my fist.
"I'll see you later, but I really have to go. I love you," he says and the unintelligible murmur turns more into more of an unintelligible racket.
"I love you," I say desperately and listen as the line goes dead. I keep the phone glued to my ear, waiting for him to come back and say "just kidding I'm fine! It was all a joke! I'll be there in forty five minutes!"
There's nothing. Only silence. I want to cry again. I know it was probably nothing but I can't help but worry.
"Hey! What happened?!" Ino's cranky voice blares from the other side of the door. "Why aren't you answering us? You didn't fall in the shower like an old lady did you?!"
"Didn't you fall in the showers at the pool in seventh grade, Ino?" I hear Tenten say.
"No one asked you, Meatball Head."
"I don't have any 'meatballs' anymore, remember?"
"Oh right, now you're just a lesbi-"
"Sakura-San are you okay?" Hinata's sweet voice cuts through their bickering and Ino's offensive comment.
"Y-yeah!" I cry finally. "I'll be right there."
I clean myself up and blow my nose. I pull my robe on and tie it, making eye contact with my corpse of a reflection in the slightly misty mirror. Whatever Naruto sees in me I'll never know.
I open the door and I'm greeted with three concerned gazes. Ino looks closer at my eyes. I avert my stare to the ground.
"Have you been... crying?" She asks and takes my chin in between her finger and thumb, tilting my face up towards her. My lips tremble and I try to form words. They look at me expectantly.
It only takes a second before I break down and tell them the whole conversation, tears once again finding a way down my cheeks. Soon my explanation wobbles off and is replaced with quiet sobs. They envelope me in a warm cocoon of arms and whisper over and over that it'll be okay.
I hope they're right.
. . .
"Okay, I get that Forehead's boyfriend isn't coming. I get that. He's got brain tumors and stuff. Whatever," Ino says, forehead pressed against the window as she stares out at my street and the trees lining it, sporting their red and gold autumn coats. "But why isn't my boyfriend here?"
There's a collective flinch from everyone in the room at her insensitivity. Tenten, Hinata and I exchange glances. All of the guys have showed up but Sai. (Well, excluding Naruto.) Tenten has Neji. Hinata has Kiba. And I… Well I have... I glance at my dates. All four of them. Chouji rubs his tuxedo clad belly, Shikamaru stares at the ceiling, hands in his pockets, Rock Lee just looks excited to be alive, like normal, and Shino is trying to catch a fly resting on the wall.
Boy am I lucky.
Chouji burbs, Shino slams his cupped hand onto the wall, attempting to catch the fly, but misses only slightly. I wish Naruto was here. My stomach coils tight in worry at the fresh thought of him. I hope everything's okay.
"We won't start pictures until he's here," she says, clenching her fists. "He deserves to be in them." She grows quieter, "he deserves some memories."
I almost forget about his memory loss everytime I'm around him. To me he doesn't seem like a boy with no past... he just seems like an asshole who doesn't know when to hold his tongue. But Ino never forgets.
"How about we do individual couple pictures until then?" I ask, stepping forward and putting a hand on her shoulder. It looks pale and ghostly white compared to her golden tan. "We can still wait for Sai."
We all wait for her answer. After a moment she just nods awkwardly, head still pressed to the glass.
"Okay!" Tenten says, clapping her hands together and running to her bag to grab her Dad's fancy camera. "Hinata and Kiba first!" Her hair is pixie cut short and it makes her look like an overly excited fairy as she flounces around the room in her dress.
"Aw yeah! Come on, Hinata! Let's show these losers how its done!" Kiba laughs and pulls Hinata with him towards my staircase. Her face is bright pink and Tenten grins gleefully, following close behind with the camera.
Once they're settled on the stairs Kiba pulls Hinata close, wrapping an arm around her waist. I see Neji tense in my peripherals. It's gonna be a rough night for him.
"Ooh! Yes! I love it! I love it!" Tenten says in a mocking accent and bends down to snap some more pictures. The white flashes fill the stairs and Kiba sticks out his hip and blows kisses, causing Hinata to laugh. "Now make me hate it, Darrrlings!" Tenten purrs in the same heavy accent.
Kiba reaches around Hinata to take a hold of each of her wrists, he paws at the air with her limp hands and makes yowling tiger noises. Hinata's laughing so hard she's no longer making a sound. Her face is pink and tears form in her eyes as she slumps forward.
The laughter is contagious, soon the whole room is hunched over, clutching their stomachs. Even Tenten, no longer a foreign photographer, can only take pictures of the floor she's giggling too unabashedly.
Okay, maybe not the whole room, I think and look over my shoulder to find Ino in the same spot as before, waiting at the window.
"Okay! Sakura and ChoShikaShinLee!" Tenten barks after a the laughter dies down. I adjust the four colored corsage on my head. They decided to go a step further and attach it to a head band and go with four different colored petals. It's clumsily glued together, but cute nonetheless. The four colors match each of their individual corsages. Shino white. Chouji yellow. Shikamaru dark blue. And Rock Lee green.
Ino decided to make me up, drawing on my eyebrows and attempting to transform me into some sort of semblance of what I used to be using the magic of blush and eyeshadow. She succeeded in making me look decent, but it's hard to feel beautiful when you look like how I do.
We climb awkwardly into the stairwell, Tenten directing us. "Sakura, go directly in the middle on the second stair. Shikamaru, no don't give me that attitude, mister, I am your director. You listen to me, go on the left side of Sakura. Chouji, go on the stair directly behind Sakura. Where did you get those chips? Put them down. Lee please stop doing push-ups. Oh my god, Shino, I'm getting to you, stop looking so sour. I haven't forgotten you. Go stand on the right side of your date. Shikamaru stand up dammit it's not going to kill you to be on your feet for 2 minutes. Rock lee go on the stair below Sakura. No you cannot do a split hand stand."
My head pounds by the time we're all situated and I want nothing more than to curl up in bed. "This cancer isn't killing me fast enough," I mutter under my breath as Tenten tinkers with the camera. Shikamaru makes a half amused sound next to me and I know we must be in the same boat.
Rock lee ends up squatting below me so that "the camera can capture my pretty dress." It's just the simple white, flowing halter dress I chose. It clashes terribly with my brightly colored corsage but I've given up on my appearances. I won't even want any of these pictures. If I survive this I don't want to turn to a page in a scrapbook and have to explain to my children why mommy looked like a gaudy colored skeleton.
I smile at Tenten's demand and she huffs. She brings the camera down from her face and looks at me, displeased. "Sakura, please, you look so grumpy."
"I wonder why," I sigh under my breath.
"Come on!" She says and smiles brightly, "this is your day!" Behind her smile I see the sadness in her eyes towards the situation. She just wants to cheer me up. I look around at the boys clustered awkwardly around me. That's all anyone is trying to do.
"Okay, you're right. You're right," I say and put my most genuine smile on. "Let's try again."
Tenten nods and smiles, bringing the camera up to her face and bending slightly. I feel the tension in the boys around me and I decide something has to be done about it. I have to break it.
Without warning I turn around and grab Chouji's hand to place it on my head. He grunts in surprise but pets the softness. "You're so fuzzy!" He exclaims and everyone laughs. I turn back around forward and shoot my arms out and wrap them around the tall boys' shoulders. Shino and Shikamaru, being noticeably taller than me, stumble in surprise as I pull them down towards my chest. Rock lee watches in excitement as I adjust my little group of dates. He looks at me expectantly with the giddiness of a five year old child to assign him a cool pose. I stare at him, face scrunched up in thought. I have no idea how to pose him.
"Do whatever you want," I say after a moment, knowing very well he would never try any sort of perverted pose.
"Anything?" He asks and grins ear to ear. I nod.
"Anything."
One split handstand later and we're ready to go. Lee's legs are splayed out in front of me and I shake my head in wonder. How he can even do that, I have no idea.
"Smile!" Tenten says and we do.
"Please don't fart, Lee," Chouji says and we all burst out laughing. The camera flashes.
"Oh my god," Ino says, interrupting our laughter. She waves a hand behind her, trying to grab our attention, but her face is still pressed to the glass. "Oh my god! Sakura, there's a limo pulling up in front of your house!"
Pandamonium breaks loose as we all rush to the window to fight for a spot with a good view. I peek over Kiba's shoulder and sure enough: a shiny, black, stretch limo is parked in front of my front lawn. We all gape at it for several moments.
"Did someone do this?" I ask finally, "because I sure didn't." I look around at everyone, they shake their heads, mouths hung open.
"Hey, maybe it's not for us," Shikamaru reasons, the only one not clumped ungraciously around the window, well, besides Neji. "I'm sure we're not the only kids on the block going to prom."
"Yeah? Well then why is it parked in front of Sakura's house?" Kiba sasses back and turns around to glare at Shikamaru. "Why do you always have to bum everyone out?"
Shikamaru shrugs nonchalantly. "I'm just saying, if none of us ordered it, it's not ours. So did any of you guys give them a call?"
"Yeah, I did!" Kiba growls. I look at Kiba, eyebrows raised.
"Did you?" Tenten asks.
Kiba stands there, nose in the air. He obviously didn't.
"It wasn't Kiba," Ino says, the only one not interested in the argument, she squeals, "because it was Sai!"
"What?"
"No way!"
"That sociopath rented us a limo?!"
Once again, we're pressed against my living room window, babbling in excitement. Sai climbs out of the back of the limo, dressed handsomely in a black suit and tie. He has Ino's corsage in his other hand. Ino squeals and giggles again. She immediately starts fighting through us to get to the door. I'm pretty sure Chouji gets elbowed in the stomach and Kiba gets scratched in the face.
"My boyfriend is the best!" She exclaims and throws open my front door, tearing out onto the front lawn. Everyone, except Shikamaru, Neji and I, follow after her, hooting and hollering. I stare through the window in disbelief.
"I can't believe Dr. Tsunade actually approved of this," I breathe. Shikamaru tsks next to me. I look at him questioningly.
"We're all gonna be squished together in the back of that thing," he says, "how troublesome."
I follow his gaze and I'm greeted by the sight of Ino and Sai kissing passionately and our friends climbing into the limo and inspecting the outside of it, like they're just trying to make sure its real and not some sort of hallucination.
"They won't seem to mind the close proximity, I bet," my sharp eyed friend says and nods to the kissing couple.
"Yeah," I say, a bite of jealousy going through me. Naruto should have gotten out with Sai. I should be kissing him instead of watching my best friend have a romantic, fun time without me. She looks so beautiful in her sky blue, knee length, strapless dress. Her skin is tan and flushed and she looks just so… healthy and excited. Like the whole world is at her feet tonight. I should be feeling the same thing.
I wince inwardly when I realize I'm moping. I hope this won't be what the whole night is like. I don't want to feel jealous and sorry for myself.
Something occurs to me, I turn to Shikamaru and ask "You're not jealous are you, Shikamaru?"
He tilts his head to me, and looks at me from the corner of his eye. "No," he says simply. "She's way too much work for me."
"Yeah, she is a lot of work," I say, smiling wistfully, "she's beautiful, though." I breathe a heavy sigh, a lump caught in my throat. It's true. Even with her hair short she looks flawless. Flawless and untouchable. How we used to look together... Now I'm the ugly friend.
Shikamaru and Neji wordlessly leave my side and starting heading outside with the others. They pause in the doorframe. "You're… not ugly or anything, Sakura. You're pretty too," Shikamaru says, staring up at the ceiling.
"Sorry Naruto couldn't be here," Neji adds silently. There's a slight pink tinge to both of their cheeks and I look at them in surprise. After a moment of soaking up the unexpected compliment I feel my face grow warm also.
"Thanks," I say quietly, worried that if I talk too loudly my voice will crack in emotion. Shikamaru scratches his head. He heads outside with Neji following close on his heels, neither of them being men of many words.
"I'm sorry, too," I say to the empty room.
. . .
Several more couple and group photo sessions later and we're all piled into the limo. The interior of the limo is so luxurious and lavish that I'm almost afraid to touch anything. There are starlike lights speckled all over the roof of the cabin and they change color. Everyone is oooh-ing and ahh-ing even as the driver pulls away from my house and begins our journey.
Kiba is searching for a way to open up the sunroof and in doing so he's pressing all kinds of buttons and twisting knobs. The radio blares. The windows go up and down. The lights flicker on and off. Everyone is talking and laughing excitedly, but I just have a pretty awful headache. It started when Tenten was trying to arrange us and it's only gotten worse. I squint my eyes and plug my ears.
"Here," I hear someone say through my plugged ears and I open my eyes to see a handful of aspirin being shoved in my face. I blink in surprise and look at Ino silently offering me salvation. Her big blue eyes are wide and serious in concern. I do a sort of half smile and accept the pills.
"I just want to get this night over with," I mumble and take the water Shikamaru hands me from one of the mini fridges lining the side of the limo. They look like they're stocked to the brim with all kinds of sodas and waters and other drinks. I down the pills and sit back, breathing deeply. I need to at least try to enjoy myself, for everyones sake.
"How'd you afford to rent this thing, anyways?" Tenten asks as she peers through the sunroof. We all look towards Sai, curious about his answer. He sits for a moment, as if finding the correct words.
"I'm not supposed to say anything for some reason, but Naruto got his uncle to pay for it," he says and his confession is met with silence.
None of us can bring ourselves to respond. No one can really say that they're surprised that it ended up being our blonde friend's doing. Still, the mood is heavy in the cabin of the limo; Naruto's absence is something we can all feel, and judging by the somber silence, I know I'm not the only one worried.
After a couple of silent moments Chouji speaks, "What a cool guy."
We all nod in response and I can't shake the feeling that he should be here, smooshed in this limo next to me, whispering silly things in my ear with our fingers interlocked.
"Here," Ino says and starts pulling out can after can of soda from one of the mini fridges, we pass them down the line silently until everyone has one. "To Naruto," my best friend says and raises her can high in the air.
We mirror her and raise our cans in respect. "To Naruto," everyone repeats.
"To the boy I love," I whisper under the rest of them.
We all crack them open at the same time.
"Let's have a good time," Hinata says after everyone drinks, looking down at her lap, blushing furiously, "i-it's what Naruto wants. Since, y-you know, he rented us a limo."
I smile sadly at her and realize that she's absolutely right. I raise my can again. "To having a good time."
"To a good time!" Everyone choruses, louder this time. We all drink and I can already tell that they're going to have an amazing time... I doubt thatIcan have the same.
(A/N:) Hi friends! Here you go, I hope you enjoyed it!
You may have noticed the disclaimer in the very beginning and in the summary. I think you can get at what I'm trying to say. When I started this story I was 16 and had just finished the Fault in Our Stars so I was like "hey it can't be that hard to write cancer!" Turns out it is. REally hard. I didn't know what the hell I was doing and I still don't. I know this may seem really unprofessional but I really just need to get this off my chest.
If I have written this in an incorrect or offensive manner to anyone, I am so so sorry. It was never my intention to trivialize the struggle of cancer patients. Odds are, those who I did offend would not be reading this, as they would have given up the first chapter. But if you're there please forgive me.
God, I read the first chapter now and I just cringe. It's interesting though, to watch my development through my writing skills. Weird, but interesting. Part of me wants to GO BACK and FIX EVERYTHING! But I don't think I'm able to do that without getting rid of all of my reviews! I reached 500 and despite everything, I am pretty proud of myself.
Anyways, bless your face if you managed to read this far and stick with this story. I really love all of you who actually take some time out of your day to review with more than "pls update." ;)
((Also if there are any spelling/grammatical errors please forgive me. I couldn't run this chapter by my editor))