In a gentle way, you can shake the world.- Mahatma Gandhi

CHAPTER #25

Scott talked to Shelby about Auggie's observations on Chris. "So what do you think?"

"Maybe… let's test that theory. When we're on kitchen duty, we'll kiss a bit and see if she watches," Shelby planned.

"Alright. But how do you feel about her, if she wants to join in on the kiss? Do you want her to kiss you?"

Shelby shrugged, "I've been with girls, when I was living on the street. This one guy paid me $200 to have sex with him and his wife."

She had just told him about some of the stuff she'd done being a street kid. He was amazed that Shelby had so casually told him, but Scott was glad she had. He realized that Peter's sessions were really helping her heal.

"Well I don't know how I feel about it," he said.

"Trust me, if you have two girls all over you, you'll like it." Shelby winked at him and then left to go to her class.

Scott wasn't so sure that it was as simple as Shelby was making it. But he also wasn't going to invite trouble, so he'd just follow his girlfriend's lead. As he went to drafting class, he saw some girl give Ezra a kiss on the cheek.

"Ezra, who's that hot girl?"

"That's Brandy, her parents are divorced and she went through the same thing I am right now."

"She likes you a lot buddy, you two make a good couple." Scott gave him a high five.

Ezra cocked his head to one side. "Really?"

"Yeah, just ask Auggie when he's not sucking face with Jules." They shared a laugh and sat down for class.

Across the campus Auggie and Chris were in art class. The counsellor was explaining what their next assignment was about. "Emotions are invisible, we can't see them directly, but feel them in our bodies. The same word- feelings- describes both physical sensations and emotions and that's no accident. For example we've all felt nervousness that is like butterflies in your stomach. Or anger that burned you up. Then we can also see what a person is feeling, without any spoken words; sadness in a teardrop, anger in a frown. Often body language can speak louder than words."

"You got that right and girls know how to manipulate boys with that one," Auggie said.

Everyone laughed and the counsellor continued. "The face and voice can lie and hide the real truth. But emotions will come out, whether you like it or not. Eventually the feelings leak out, overflow or burst out in a deluge. When that happens other emotions are displayed and can really confuse things. It's the nature of emotions to move. This is what the assignment is about. Through your art, let the true emotions come out."

People dispersed and began gathering the tools they needed to work in whatever medium they wanted. Chris stood in front of her blank canvas, paints ready, brush in hand. She went over the things he'd just said, but undecided how to begin. Looking around the room she saw some people already working and others in the same boat she was.

"Emotions provide motivation to act for our own survival, but they also enable us to embrace life. They bring honesty, creativity and enthusiasm for life. Feelings give us colour and texture to our experiences, like a palette of colours. But they are never organized like that. Usually they are messy, irrational and pop up when you least expect it. Art is one way to express our true feeling in a healthy way."

Chris agreed, "it purges our souls from toxic waste."

Auggie looked at her, "wow maybe you should try being a poet too, that was deep."

"Focus people. You can be work on your emotions like my example about being nervous or you can be more literal." He sat down at his desk as everyone was working. He turned on some light, almost calming music as they worked.

When class was over, most of them were just beginning the project. They had until the end of the week to complete the assignment. Sometimes the kids had to be shaken gently to help them face their feelings. Art and English class were a great outlet for that expression.

It seemed to Chris that in some way, every class except for math, was pushing her to express her sexual confusion. This was the first time ever, that she as looking forward to math class. Scott teased her about it, after math was over.

"Since when do you volunteer to write out an equation on the chalk board?"

"She sent me up there, I didn't volunteer," Chris retorted.

"You had your hand up," Shelby pointed out.

"Whatever. I still messed it up."

Shelby let it go and nudged Scott, giving him a wink. "We've got kitchen duty for lunch."

The Cliff Hangers grabbed aprons and got to work. Shelby waited until it Chris went to get lettuce from the fridge and then followed with Scott. They blocked the door way, forcing Chris to see they in a deep french kiss.

"Guys… come on, save it until later," Chris said, unable to keep her desire out of her voice.

Never one to let another off the hook, Shelby turned her face from Scott. "Maybe you should join us later. Would you like that?"

Her face went red and Chris shoved past them. Shelby purposely made it so that her body came in contact with their friend, as did Scott. It was like a Chris sandwich. Just for a moment, Chris let it happen. Her heart pounded, her skin was flushed and she looked at Scott's lips. Then the moment broke and she was free of them.

"She liked it. But whether it's you she wants or us, no idea."

"We'll we're a package deal right?" Scott asked, unsure how Shelby would react.

"Of course, she's hot and I could feel that raw desire radiating from her…. Damn I'm horny now."

Scott laughed, "you're always horny… but that's cool with me. I love you Shelby."

She softened at those words, touching his face with her hand. "I love you too Scott, always."

The went back to help their team in the kitchen. Every chance they got, Scott or Shelby would brush up against Chris. When Chris was bent over picking up vegetable debris off the floor, Scott came up beside her. When she stood up, he passed behind her. Chris couldn't help the kick of desire that she felt, when his crotch brushed her ass in passing. It was on purpose, she knew that. But why were they doing this to her?

After lunch was over, there was always a half hour before classes started again. Chris made a bee-line to the art classroom. Within ten minutes, she had paint on her face and hands, but her assignment was well underway. A sound behind her, made her turn around. Relief flooded through her when she saw it was just Daisy.

"Chris, who's that girl with Ezra?"

"Who Brandy?"

Daisy shrugged, "yeah I guess. What's her deal?"

"Jealous?"

"Of Ezra? We're just friends and I'm curious," Daisy said trying to be sarcastic and failing.

"She's gone through what he's dealing with now, in regards to parents and divorce. Other than being a good friend to him, you'd have to ask Ezra if she's something more." Chris began cleaning up her paints. "Would you care if they became girlfriend/boyfriend?"

"Who me? No, Ezra and I aren't like that." Daisy left. If she really looked at it, she'd see that jealousy was festering in her heart.

Chris mumbled, "looks like I'm not the only sexually confused person around."

Shelby and Scott walked in the door, right at that moment. "Daisy's confusion isn't the same as yours and you know it."

"What?" Chris asked in shock.

Taking control of the situation, Shelby walked up to Chris and pulled her face to hers. As they kissed, she pulled Scott to stand with them. After Shelby stopped kissing Chris, she pushed Scott and Chris's heads together. Where Shelby had been demanding in her kiss, Scott's lips were gentle and inviting. Chris got lost in the moment, sharing kisses and touches with both. But she couldn't handle it, when Scott pressed his body into hers.

Chris pushed them away, "I can't… I don't…sorry." She left and went to the washroom. She splashed cold water all over her face and wished she had time for a cold shower. "Wow that was awkward," she said to her mirrored reflection.

What would she do? Be brave and face her feeling or run away afraid. Her inner voice was churning inside her. Would the ripples of desire that her friends has shaken into her, be allowed to cause change? Could she face the truth of those emotions? These thoughts plagued her the rest of the day, but by the time dinner arrived, she had made her choice. Yes she wanted to explore, feel joy and awaken her sexuality. And just maybe, being with two people that she trusted, would change Chris for the better. It was time for change, no longer was the whole world screaming at her. Her feelings wouldn't cripple her. She understood that actions had consequences and that they had the capacity to harm as much as heal. But hiding from doing nothing, wasn't an option any more.