Chapter Twenty-Five:
Withdrawing her keys from the pocket of her pants, Lucy took a deep breath. Mentally, she still wasn't sure that she was prepared for this, but after her conversation with Aquarius and the Spirit King, she knew that she had to. Keeping her spirits away, especially with the cruel things she had said to Loke, was no worse than using them as a shield and treating them as possessions.
Detaching her silver keys, she looked at the five of them in her hand. Closing her eyes, she whispered: "I know I don't have the right to do this after what I've done to you, but please, any of you who are still willing, I would like you to come out."
For a moment, there was no response, and she felt her spirits sinking, but a brief flash of golden light brought a familiar shape.
Reaching out from where she sat on the ground, Lucy held out her hand for Plue. "Are you okay? I heard that I almost hurt you the other day." When her spirit nodded, she smiled slightly. "Well then, I'm glad you're okay. And I'm sorry that I kept you away for so long. Because of that, do you want to revise your contract?"
The spirit shook its head adamantly, throwing itself at her in a tight hug. Surprised, Lucy didn't respond at first, but as she hugged Plue back, she felt other gates opening and couldn't hold back her tears. When she finally looked up, she saw Crux, Horologium, Lyra, and Pyxis gathered around, beaming at her. "I'm so sorry guys," she said, feeling the tears drip down her face. "If any of you want to modify your contracts because of this, I understand…"
Lyra looked at the assembled spirits and said softly: "I think I speak for all of us when I say that we just want you back Miss Lucy. Our contracts remain unchanged as long as you promise to take care of yourself and never cut us off like that again."
Lucy smiled weakly and took a shuddering breath before replying. "I promise, I won't ever do that again. I just wanted to be able to protect you guys after what happened…it scared me so much, the thought of losing any of you. But what I did was the wrong way to go about it. I'm going to send you all back now, because I need to talk with the others, but I promise I'll keep you at my side."
They nodded and disappeared in a flash of light. Wiping her face with the back of her hand, Lucy returned the silver keys to her key ring and pulled off the zodiac gate keys, including Aquarius's. Placing them on the ground in an arc, she put her hands over the top of the assembled keys and said: "I know I've hurt you all, but I would like to talk. If anyone doesn't want to come, that's fine. Oh, and Scorpio? If you're on a date, stay with her. We can talk later."
She felt her magic drain, and found herself looking into the faces of her celestial spirits. Looking around the circle, she saw only two missing faces. Lucy sighed, and looked up at Capricorn. "He's really hurt, isn't he?"
Nodding, the goat spirit went down on one knee. "Miss Lucy, as another sworn to you and your line, I can only say how much it hurt to be banned from coming to your side. You have always protected us and treated us as equals, unlike many other owners we have had. All of us come when you call because we want to, and when you are distressed, we are distressed. Keeping us apart only hurts our ability to help each other."
"I know," she said softly, feeling the tears well up. "I didn't mean to hurt you at all. After Aquarius…I just didn't want to have to see any of you hurt again. So I thought the best way to do that was to keep from summoning you until I had learned enough magic to be able to protect you. It hurt, and I missed everyone, but I had made myself a promise…"
Biting her lip, she saw tears on many of her spirits faces. Even Capricorn and Taurus looked a little misty eyed. Losing control of her emotions, she reached out to Capricorn as if she had been a small child seeking a parent's comfort. He cradled her in his arms, and she felt her spirits gathering around them. Hands reached out to touch her as she cried, and she tried to grasp them, but she only had two hands.
When her tears had finished, she looked up at the spirits who surrounded her. "I'm so sorry everyone," she repeated. "If you want to rewrite our contracts…"
"We'll keep them as they are," Gemi and Mini chimed. "As long as you promise not to do this again!"
Lucy swallowed a sob and said shakily. "You are all much better friends than I was. I have to let you go now, but I promise I'll see you again soon. Capricorn, can I ask you to help with my training from now on?"
"With pleasure, Miss Lucy." Her spirits shimmered and disappeared, leaving only Virgo behind. Looking curiously at the maid spirit, Lucy said: "Thank you for your help Virgo. I really appreciate everything you've done, especially saving Plue."
"It is my pleasure Princess," she said, bowing. "Punishment time?"
"No, not this time. Is he very angry with me?"
Virgo hummed. "He is obeying your orders Princess. Brother will not come until he is called."
She sighed tiredly. "Thank you Virgo, I will call him in a minute." Nodding, the spirit bowed again and disappeared.
A large hand dropped an orange in her lap. "If you're going to summon again, eat that and drink the water I'm going to give you after. I know that using gates outside of battle takes up less energy, but you've been doing a massive amount of summoning, as well as the work with the gates you did earlier. The sugar and fluids will keep you going if you're going to summon again."
Slowly, Lucy looked up at Laxus, not caring about the tear stains on her face as she peeled the orange. "I don't know what I would do without you," she murmured quietly.
"Fall over out of exhaustion," he said casually, sitting down next to her as he placed a glass of water in front of her. "Do you want me to leave once I'm sure you've eaten?"
Shaking her head, Lucy bit into an orange slice. "No, you saw the beginning of the mess I created, you might as well see the end. You can leave if you want, but I don't mind if you stay."
"I'll just go sit over there out of the way then," Laxus said, leaving her in the center of the clearing.
Making quick work of the orange, Lucy drank the water and found herself feeling less drained. Returning all but one of her zodiac keys to her key ring, she stood and held the key out in front of her. "Open, gate of the Lion! Leo!"
A flare of gold, and the familiar form appeared in front of her, creased into a bow. He was wearing his suit and glasses, and his hair was in Leo's trademark style.
"You called, Master?" he said, his voice flat.
"Loke," Lucy began, realizing what she had done. "I'm sorry…"
"Please Master, call me Leo," he said, his voice still just as toneless. "I am a stellar spirit, not a member of Fairy Tail. What may I assist you with?"
"Loke!" she cried, rushing over to wrap her arms around him. "Please, I'm sorry. I was too cruel. Please Loke, don't…!"
Collecting herself, she stepped back, tears in her eyes. "Of course, if you want, I can renegotiate our contract. It's my fault, all of this is my fault. If you don't want me to be your master, I will accept that, but please, tell me what I can do to make this up to you."
"You don't understand," he said, and Lucy was thrilled to recognize Loke's old tone in his voice, although the bitterness and loathing nearly obscured it. "You shut yourself away from us."
"I know," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. I was just scared…"
"We were scared Lucy!" he shouted, making her take a step back. "You forced us to watch you work until you collapsed, nearly killing yourself, and none of us could come out to help you. You made us choose between risking losing a contract with the best master any of us have ever found and losing you. I get that you were hurting and scared. We all were hurting. Tartarus scared all of us because we didn't know if you would be able to beat them and none of us wanted to lose you because we were too weak. But then you shut us out, and made us watch helplessly as you fell apart. And when we tried to help? You threatened us with the only thing we held dear."
Tears were falling, not because what he was saying was harsh, but because he was right. "I'm sorry," she whispered over and over again. "I didn't mean to hurt you…"
"But you did," he said lowly. "You knew exactly what threats to make that would keep us away, and you made them. You know that you became my only reason to live on, and you stomped all over that, keeping me from protecting you."
"I wasn't in any danger," Lucy protested weakly, but this just made his scowl darker.
"Sometimes you need to be protected from yourself," he yelled. "You may not have had enemies to fight, but you did a pretty good job of taking stupid risks on your own. If it weren't for you finding Laxus, I would have shown up sooner! When you were in Magnolia, you were falling apart, and it hurt too much to watch, but at least here you were being watched over by someone who you couldn't threaten. But the fact that you made that threat, knowing how much you mean to me…"
"I'm sorry!" She screamed, tears pouring down, her chest heaving with sobs. "I know that I was hitting below the belt. I just didn't want you to be the next key I broke. Or worse, what if it was Aries, or Virgo next? If I had to sacrifice another one of my friends…I couldn't live with myself. You guys were all I had left and I couldn't lose you too. To keep it from happening again, I needed to get stronger."
"We could have helped you train," he bellowed back at her. "Capricorn and I would have been here every day, all day, if that's what you wanted. All of us would have helped!"
"And what would I have learned?" she snapped. "You guys would still have been always in danger if I didn't learn something else. It wouldn't have done me any good."
"But we could have helped! Things might have been easier if you let us help."
"Just because I have you guys doesn't mean I need to make you do everything for me. I still need to rely on myself sometimes. I'm not saying that I don't need you, but sometimes I need to try on my own!"
"Lucy," he said, and she saw that his eyes were no longer filled with anger, but with pain. "Watching you, each day, hurt more than living for three years in your world after Karen died. Seeing you collapse after casting Urano Metria and not being able to go to your side almost broke me. If he hadn't appeared when he did, I would have willingly disobeyed you and returned to your side, even if I had to become a fallen star again. But you made me watch as you nearly destroyed yourself. That type of pain and fear doesn't go away."
"What can I do?" Lucy whispered. "What can I do to make it up to you?"
"Not doing it again is a start," he said firmly. "But taking a bit more care of your life might help too. If you value us, you should value yourself."
Collapsing at his feet, Lucy sobbed brokenly. "I'll do anything Loke, please…"
"Lucy," he said gently. "This hurt can't be fixed by doing anything. I still trust you with my life, and I would still die for you if you asked it of me, but only time will allow us to go back to how things used to be. Don't worry, I'll always be there when you call, but I need my own time to heal from this." Bending down, he kissed the top of her head. "Your magic is running low again. I'm going to go back for now. Goodbye Lucy, and take care until you call me again."
He disappeared in a flash of gold, and she pressed her forehead to the ground and cried.
***Hi everyone! I don't have too much to say about this one, other than please don't kill me for the way things turned out. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reactions, especially on this chapter, so feel free to let me know. I love hearing from readers. You guys are the reason I do this! Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Look for the next update sometime Wednesday.***