Chapter Twenty-Five: Bourbon and Stitches
Here there was no blood.
No snapping of cords.
It was just dark.
Above.
Below.
All around.
It was dark.
I crouched down burying my face in my arms as I wrapped myself up in them.
What had happened was still fresh in my mind and the only thing I could think of was Kaname.
"Please let him be alive."
My voice echoed around me rambling out into the emptiness to die.
"Please be alive."
I started to rock back and forth wondering if Charles had shot me in our scramble or if the car that had hit me had killed me.
"Please-"I begged whoever might hear in this darkness, "take me in Kaname's place."
The idea made my heart twist sharply in my chest and I felt cold tears run down my face…..
I'm alive. The tears, the fact that I felt them, told me I was still alive. The pain told me I was in very bad shape. Opening my eyes I already knew where I was from the incessant beeping on my right, the feel of the itchy gown wrapped around me, and the noxious smell of cold, sterilized air. There was a tube down my throat, scratching at the pain soaked tissue, and I remembered Charles getting his hands on me. Sitting up my back ached; my whole right side felt like all the bones had been x-rayed into dust, and pulled the mounting tape off my mouth. My heart monitor started to spike. Grabbing hold of the tube I slowly pulled it back, the heart monitor spiked loudly, the room around me swirled and smeared as the IV drugs pumped into my veins. I gaged, feeling the plastic tube rising up out of my chest, and my stomach clenched rolling through me a sharp stab of pain. More tears ran down my face. Suddenly the heart monitor started to wail meaning the nurses would be arriving any second.
Kaname. Taking hold if the tube, feeling the tip just at the base of my bronchiole tubes, I yanked and gaged up spit with a scream. The long opaque tube fell aside hitting the linoleum floor. I kicked my feet over the side of the bed, tossing the sheets back, and pulled the IV from my arm. God. Nurses suddenly rushed in yammering in high pitched chipmunk voices. My stomach was killing me. Their cold hands grabbed at my shoulders and arms as I slipped from the bed, the frigid floor biting into my bare feet like ice-fire, trying to put me back.
"K-"my throat felt like I'd swallowed molten nails, "KANAME!"
Holding my stomach I swayed when I took a step, the doorway ahead of me tilted to the left, and I saw a tall man in a white lab coat come rushing in. Their voices all merged into one blurring together like paint poured down a drain. Their hands reached, held, forced me back but I fought pulling every muscle to work.
"KANAME!" I screamed tearing up my throat and starting a coughing fit producing blood.
The hot liquid spilled onto my palm, over my wrist, to drip-drop on the floor at my feet.
"CAEL!"
I looked up at the white lab coat holding me back and recognized those murky eyes.
Grabbing onto Masaomi's arms I asked through the copper on my lips, "Is he alive?! Where's Kaname?!"
With every word I could feel the muscles in my throat moving up and down, tearing at tortured tissue, spewing blood over my lips. Masaomi grabbed my upper arms as I swayed with drug jellied legs.
"Cael you have to calm down!" he said urgently as he pushed me back towards the bed, "Kaname is alive and recovering. I'll get him as soon as you calm down!"
Kaname's alive! I started to sob as I collapsed to my knees slamming into the hard floor. Masaomi held me close as he followed me. He's alive! Tears rolled down my face wetting Masaomi's white jacket bringing out that blasted bleach smell.
"God Cael." He murmured holding onto me.
At some point I must've cried myself to sleep because when I woke up I was back in the bed, minus the breathing tube, plus the IV, and tucked away in a warm blanket. It wasn't a hospital one though. I could hear the TV softly playing in the room and then felt someone sitting beside me. Curling up into a ball I pulled the soft blanket up around my neck and smelled citrus and…..My eyes opened and I looked up. Kaname, with a thick white bandage wrapped around his neck, was staring down at me.
My breath hitched in my throat.
My heart thudded then bottomed out and stopped.
I stared up into those bourbon eyes, bloodshot, red rimmed and heavy with dark bags. His face was pale but not as pale as when he'd been shot. His lips, those wonderful lips, were parted as he breathed unsteadily. The man I loved was alive. Kaname reached down, pushing my frazzled hair aside, and kissed me gently. Again I started to cry. Uncurling from beneath the blanket, the blanket from his room, we wrapped each other up in a strong hug.
"I'm sorry." I whispered into his shoulder.
His hold on me tightened, "Thank you." He told me, "Thank you for coming back to me."
For a long moment we were just in that moment. The moment that we were both alive. Both safe. Survivors of some insane, meth riddled, man's game. I breathed out a gasp and felt that brilliant pain bloom in my stomach. My hand went to it as we separated a little and I looked down. It made sense that the right side of my body would be killing me, you know after making contact with a car and all that, but…..My fingers grazed over a long line of bumps. What the hell?! Grabbing the edge of my gown I pulled the fabric up but Kaname grabbed my wrist-
"Not now." Was all he said.
I yanked the fabric up anyways and saw a dark line of black stitches going down my lower belly.
"No…."
"I'm sorry."
I looked up to see Masaomi standing in the doorway. When I looked into his eyes he looked away. Kaname put his hand over my stomach and I flinched like I'd been slapped.
What had I done?!