Chapter 25: From a Side Character's Point of View
I didn't go to the front lines, I didn't expect to go. I'm tired, hungry, cranky, sweaty and stinky. This isn't the glory of a hero, nor is it the gallant rescuing of a princess. I'm just a girl being transported to safety.
The battle is a blur, mostly because I heard more than I saw. The craft lords and strongest craft knights fought well. Ships from Vance and Rugista arrived to assist Wystern. It must have been epic, I know, but I'm not the main character of this war tale. I'm noting but a girl who is simply standing by, an extra in the story with a role so small that she's not even a supporting character. I'm nothing but a bench warmer in the game of life.
The sea serpents broke through the defenses and attacked Wystern. The fortified Central Tower stood proudly and another wave of powerful craft knights joined the attack force. They were led by Kenon, and now I know why he was asked to stay behind in the first place. It was for this, an ambush from the battle tower when the enemy thought that the tower only held civilians.
Now that it's all over, the feeling of being adventurous has faded and I'm left with disappointment. When a disaster happens, most people worry during it, and after the action ends, so do their worries. Most people are filled with relief to have survived as the process of recovery and reconstructions starts. For me it's not like that.
For me, the hardest time starts after the storm is calm. During the storm I can at least feel adventurous, even if it may be foolish to appreciate the danger in such a way. Even if I'm not in the front lines, even if my job is so small and not hard to replace, even then I feel as part of the adventure. But when the battle ends and lives and homes need to be rebuilt, a feeling of desperation sinks in. The adventure is over and now the hard part starts.
I'm not as relived as I should be that I'm alive and that Wystern still stands, damaged but proud. I'm frustrated that I can't go from adventurous to normal without skipping the stage of being temporarily homeless.
The craft lords now have the task of assessing the damage done to Wystern. According to the guardian beasts who were able to understand the enemy's growls during their retreat, they had recognized that Parista did not give us power, we had power over Parista. That's not exactly how it went, but close enough; and it turned out to be a beneficial interpretation. Their legends have changed and they no longer fear Parista the superior being, they fear Wystern, the land of supreme warriors, the holy City of Swords, because to them it has become that.
Cannels need to be fixed, structures need to be reinforced and roofs and walls need to be patched up. Everyone is to take refuge in Vance and Rugista until the repairs are done to assure the safety of the people of Wystern. After all, the city is a tower in the middle of the ocean, an architectonic miracle.
I wanted to go to Vance, but I was shoved into a ship and told he destination was a safe place, nothing more. I wished and hoped that the ship was taking me to Vance, and I was terribly disappointed when I arrived at Rugista, the place were I used to live before I earned my freedom. My heart sank, my knees felt weak and I didn't want to get off the ship.
I was pushed along anyway, I was pushed along with everyone else as if I was just as much as a panicking, cry baby idiot as them. I wanted to cry for the lack of respect, for being grouped with the people who couldn't keep their sanity during disaster, and for being forced to go to Rugista.
We were ushered into a designated area; we were to take turns using the facilities borrowed from volunteers. I decided that personal hygiene would have to wait, and that I would find a place to shower after the lines have become smaller. If we were victorious, why is it that it doesn't look like we were?
I'm nothing but a side character in this tale of war. I'm definitely not the hero, nor am I the villain. I'm not the sidekick or the apprentice, and definitely not the lady love. I'm just another extra, so I will not be mentioned when the story is retold, and thus I should not be recognized while the story is taking place.
She found me, the being I can't help it but to feel anger towards, the one who has no right to call herself a mother. These have been stressful times for me after reality hit me in the face. I did not want to be found by her and refused the offer of a shower and food. I don't want to give her the satisfaction of playing the good mother who shelters the terrible daughter who abandoned her, when in fact she was the one who pushed me into running away to start my life over far from her. I refuse to give her the chance to continue tarnishing my reputation while she gains sympathy because somehow, in the eyes of the people of Rugista, I'm always the villain.
I will not let that woman trample all over my life, the freedom I worked so hard to obtain, and the identity that she wouldn't let me have and I have finally gained. I'm not an eternal bad actress anymore, I am myself and I will act no more. "What part of 'I hate you' do you not understand?" Desperate tears start to fall but my glare is solid. "You have not earned my love and you won't get it by being a hypocrite. I'm not going to live for you; you're not turning me into your little pet again. I live for myself now." I walked away.
It was the major himself who stopped me and lectured me, then I told him to "kick me out of Rugista if you don't like my attitude. I don't wish to be here anyway." He freaked out and tried to imprison me to make me cool my head.
In the eyes of those who are more emotional than reasonable, those who jump to conclusions without thinking of the past they know nothing of, that day I was the villain. I truthfully claimed I did nothing wrong, that I merely refused an offer from someone with whom I had a bad past and that I truthfully expressed my dislike for being at Rugista.
The people of Wystern were only used to seeing my good side, the girl I became after starting a new life. They claimed I changed for the worse, that I was an ingrate. But I guess it really is hard to stay focused when you're scared; and I was terrified of become that pathetic girl who was trapped at Rugista and forced into a role she hates.
To be Continued
Disclaimer, I do not own Summon Night: A Swordcraft Story.