Jacob sighed and stretched out his hand, "Just give them to me. You already know that anything I read will only be shared when I have a son of my own unless there is knowledge that will help the pack. Even Embry will not have access to them unless I have no male heirs to pass them to."

As much as he wanted to put up a fight, Billy realized that it would futile and Jacob would not be swayed in his mission so with a resigned sigh he relinquished the journals.

"Thank you." Jacob said as he took them from his father

Billy said nothing, he simply hung his head in defeat and wheeled his way out of the room.

When Jacob returned home he was thankful to find that Quil had already left for his patrol and Embry was still sleeping so he would have some time to get started on the journals before someone came along to interrupt. Part of him was reluctant to get started but there was a bigger part of him that understood he needed the full truth if he had any hope of leading his tribe and his pack effectively.

Once Jacob got himself settled into a comfortable space in his room, he cracked open the first journal and began to read.

The first few journals were skimmed through as they held nothing of any real interest; just details about Ephraim's passing and Billy becoming Chief and marrying Sarah. There were also a few mentions of tribal meetings here and there and updates on changes in the council but it wasn't until the fifth or sixth journal that things started to get interesting.

Before my Grandfather passed he told me that no matter what I must always record the truth in these journals and it is only out of respect for the tradition and his memory that I record my greatest mistakes on these pages. I have warred with myself for months on whether or not I should write these things here but despite my own fears I know that I have no choice. My only hope is that I am dead and gone before the truth in these pages are revealed.

It all began about two years ago when Sarah and I started talking about having another baby. Sarah tried to convince me that we should wait a few more years, the twins were in their terrible twos and adding another baby to the mix would be a lot to handle; but I'd always dreamed of having a son and as horrible as it sounds I was disappointed when my first born was not a boy. Of course I love Rachel and Rebecca and wouldn't trade them for anything but I longed for a son and so with a lot of begging I got Sarah to agree to try. I'll admit that with every month that passed and no pregnancy I became discouraged and even though Sarah kept insisting that would it happen I struggled to believe her and I was not a pleasant person to live with. I could see that she was stressed and I wasn't helping but I only cared about myself then and it was in that time that I met someone. I can't say that I never intended for it to go anywhere because I didn't exactly make it known that I was taken but I certainly never intended for things to go so far…or at the very least I never intended for it happen more than once.

The fling with Anya was just that a fling….

Jacob could hardly believe what he was reading, knowing his father had cheated on his mother was one thing….knowing that it had resulted in Embry was another but now reading that Tiffany hadn't been the first, Jacob wasn't sure what to think; he wanted to just stop reading….to just close the literal pages on his father indiscretions but his fear that there might be another illegitimate Black out there forced him onwards.

It doesn't matter what attracted me to her….it doesn't really matter how it started but what does matter is how it ended. I can honestly say we only slept together a few times but a few times was all it took and before I knew it I was in danger of losing everything. The truth that no one knows is that while I was trying to create new life with my wife I'd screwed up and gotten Anya pregnant.

He read over that last line so many times he was sure that if he never remembered anything else he would always remember those words.

A/N: So even I was surprised by where this ended up and I wrote it...